


Light In The Dark

by showvyourself



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Ice, Ice powers Elsa, Incest, Love, Post-Canon, Post-Frozen 2 (2019), Sibling Incest, Smut, also sword!anna, but it will mostly be angst, oh and at some point there will be lots of elsanna, there will be mentions and implications of suicide so tw, there's a little bit of kristanna
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:47:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 111,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25320007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/showvyourself/pseuds/showvyourself
Summary: Neither of them uttered a word until they caught a glimpse of the castle — or rather, what little was left of it — and then saw all the distraught faces of the Arendellian people. They were still patiently waiting for their Queen’s return, all of them gathered atop the cliff, right where they had left them a few days ago. Apart from Grand Pabbie and a few others, the trolls were gone. Their features were marked by a somber darkness and Anna knew that the wise troll knew. One way or another, she knew that everyone knew of Elsa’s death. The castle no longer stood proudly at the bottom of the fjord but rather it was a miserable heap of ruins.
Relationships: Anna/Elsa (Disney)
Comments: 167
Kudos: 227





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first Elsanna fanfiction but it's not my first time writing a piece of fanfiction. I'm a writer who likes to put too much angst in her works (you're warned lol) and also: I'm a sucker for bad endings. As for this story, we shall see.
> 
> Comments and kudos make me happy and motivate me, so if you like this, please don't hesitate to leave your opinion below in the comments! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoy!

**THERE** was a moment, between the trip back to Arendelle and the sight of a half destroyed castle, where Anna realized — _truly_ realized — that Elsa was, indeed, dead. That she would never return home. Her mind, after the last snowflake of Olaf’s body had melted between her very own fingers, had gone numb and everything had turned to a pitch black darkness. She remembered little of the night spent inside the pit. What little memories managed to surface, were only the feeling of emptiness inside her ribcage, the cold beneath her, and the shivers that had never stopped to make her whole body quiver.

When Anna warily looked up at Kristoff, he looked back with just as much emotion. The arm around her shoulder tightened, as if sensing her discomfort upon her bitter realization. Trailing behind them, Sven let out a soft noise of sorrow, as if he were pitying Anna. The reindeer came up beside her and Anna let her dirty fingers run through the brown and soft hair of his snout. Sven leaned into her touch and regarded her with a look full of empathy.

“Anna?” Kristoff squeezed her shoulder with his big hand. “Are you okay?”

Anna shook her head as the gentle autumnal breeze lightly tousled her copper hair. “No, Kristoff,” she replied quietly, not meeting his concerned stare. “Let’s just—go back to Arendelle.”

He rubbed her forearm soothingly. “Okay.”

Neither of them uttered a word until they caught a glimpse of the castle — or rather, what little was _left_ of it — and then saw all the distraught faces of the Arendellian people. They were still patiently waiting for their Queen’s return, all of them gathered atop the cliff, right where they had left them a few days ago. Apart from Grand Pabbie and a few others, the trolls were gone. Their features were marked by a somber darkness and Anna knew that the wise troll _knew_. One way or another, she knew that everyone knew of Elsa’s death. The castle no longer stood proudly at the bottom of the fjord but rather it was a miserable heap of ruins.

Anna swallowed thickly as bile rose to her throat along with sheer panic. She helplessly gripped Kristoff’s forearm and tugged him. Nobody had seen them yet. “I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispered, her breath coming out in puffs.

“You _can_ ,” Kristoff stated matter of factly, grabbing her by the shoulder and pulling her in a tight hug that was warmth but also discomfort. It wasn’t until his arms were wrapped around her small waist that she realized just how much she preferred and _missed_ Elsa’s sweet and gentle hugs. His musky scent filled her nostrils as she embraced him back. “I know you can,” he whispered against her ear.

Anna shut her eyes as an attempt to hold back tears. Then she broke free from their little haven and walked the few distance that separated her from the trolls. She held her breath until, eventually, Grand Pabbie noticed her and widened his dark eyes.

“Anna,” he said hurriedly and it almost sounded like a sigh of relief. But then he looked at Kristoff, looked at Sven, and noticed that two out of five were missing from their group. And then, he understood. He grabbed Anna’s trembling hands and stared up at her. “Oh, _Anna_ ,”

Perhaps it was the sound of his voice, or the way he said her name, but something inside of her shattered and she collapsed on the ground, light breeches dirty with grass and dust. She distantly heard herself weep, sobs spilling out of her mouth like a careless waterfall. She heard Pabbie call out her name again, then she heard Kristoff’s voice, before she felt strong hands caress her back and suddenly her face was being pushed against a just as equally strong chest. She recognized Kristoff’s distinct smell and weakly wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying her crying face in the crook of his neck. Her ears were blocking out the words that were being spoken between Kristoff and the troll and everything was faint and dull and _distant_. She didn’t know what was happening above or around her. The only thing she knew was that Kristoff was holding her as she was falling apart because her sister was _dead_.

“People of Arendelle, as you may…”

The rest of Pabbie’s words were blurry and they faded into nothing as she kept on crying and wetting Kristoff’s clothes with her tears. The rest of the day was even blurrier, as it went by in the blink of an eye. She remembered going back into the city, the streets empty as the villagers went back to their dwellings. She remembered falling into the loving and familiar arms of Kai and Gerda. They seemed to never want to let her go anytime soon and somehow she was more than okay with that. She needed to be held in arms that would feel like home, because her real home, the one made of bricks and stones and walls and rooms, was gone. The flood had taken it all away from her.

Miraculously, the stables were intact. Anna remembered walking through the debris and recognizing some of the paintings she used to vent to when she was little. A few of them were completely broken, as if they were an uncompleted puzzle she needed to solve but would never have the opportunity to. Others were surprisingly in good shape; for example, her good old friend Joan of Arc. The sight made her smile as she picked it up from the wet ground. Then, as she walked further, she saw the flag of Arendelle, damp and full of wrinkles, scattered along the edge of the bridge. She moved closer until she was near enough to kneel before it. A strange lump caught her attention; there was visibly something hidden underneath the fabric of the royal symbol. Anna gently placed the painting of Joan beside her, careful not to stain it or ruin it even more, and then gingerly moved the flag aside, in order to reveal what was underneath.

Around her, the commotion of the royal staff looking for salvageable goods and items and clothes disappeared as her gaze lowered to the object — or rather, the _toy_ — that had been previously concealed by the fabric of the flag.

With quivering hands, she reached out and took a hold of her older sister’s infamous stuffed penguin toy — Sir Jorgenbjorgen. Anna covered her mouth before any sound could escape. Despite the flood, the little doll she and Elsa had rediscovered three years prior had not suffered any damage. Its cloak — an old pair of her sister’s gloves — still sticked to it. Sir Jorgenbjorgen had never looked better.

“You survived,” Anna whispered, a single tear rolling down her cheek as she hugged the stuffed animal close to her chest. If she dared to dream, it almost felt like hugging Elsa. If only she had held her tighter the last time they had embraced. “I’m _never_ letting you go.”

“Anna?”

When the princess turned around, Kristoff was standing a few feet away from her and he wore a tentative smile on his lips. His fingers fiddled and it was then that Anna noticed the sunset.

“Yes?”

“Come on, we should retire for the night. It’s getting dark. Kai and Gerda have helped the staff set up a _temporary_ home,” he paused. “Are you okay?”

Anna fell silent as she looked once again at the doll between her hands. “No,” she replied softly. Then, she gave him a soft and teary smile. “But hopefully, I will be alright _soon_.”

Kristoff nodded and his lips turned upwards in an encouraging smile. Anna rose to her feet and looked across her, at the ruins of the castle. Then, she looked back at Sir Jorgenbjorgen.

“Let’s go,” she said quietly. She picked up the painting of Joan, tucked it under her arm. She grabbed Kristoff’s hand with her free one while in the other she held the stuffed animal. And as they walked, she let her eyes linger on the retreating sun and the beautiful colors it cast upon the fjord.

The first day after Elsa’s death had ended, and now it began Anna’s life without her sister by her side.


	2. Chapter 1

**ANNA’** s coronation happened a fortnight later. It was a chilly midafternoon of November and the future queen of Arendelle stood on weak knees before the window. Surprisingly, the staff of the old castle had set into motion the day after Anna had returned to the capital city, putting brick after brick, one on top of another, and built a new — although smaller — castle for the Royal Family in the nick of time for Anna’s coronation day. Somehow, every civil had contributed, whether it was to take some water or some food to the builders or to volunteer as a builder themselves. In a time of crisis, Arendelle had come together and had demonstrated its true worth as a kingdom.

“Anna?”

A knock at her door, before Kristoff’s head came into view. Anna watched him from the reflection on the window. “Oh, Kristoff, you’re here!”

When Anna turned around to face him, she vaguely appreciated the fact that he had dressed up for this special occasion; clearly, it was done to please her, not because it pleased _him_. Kristoff tugged at his collar and then chuckled. “Yeah, I wanted to see you before the coronation.”

Anna simply nodded and watched him cross the room until he was standing a few feet away from her. A lock of his slicked blonde hair fell on his forehead and Anna grabbed one of his lapels, bringing him closer and tucking the stray strand back to its place. She smiled tentatively up at him and then caressed his shaved and lean cheek. Anna leaned in to kiss him on the cheek and blissfully let out a content sigh.

“You look beautiful,” Kristoff rubbed her forearms, checking out her outfit; a simple dark green gown with a cape hanging from her neck.

“Thank you,” she blushed. Anna hugged him close, placing her cheek against his chest and breathing in his familiar scent.

“You know,” Kristoff started cautiously. Anna knew what he was about to say before he even said it. “Elsa would be really proud of you. I mean, with how you’re dealing with—,”

“I know,” Anna sighed.

She broke off their embrace, walking towards the window and watching with a distant look in her face the people of Arendelle excitedly mingle in the castle’s courtyard. They were all waiting for her to come out so that they could welcome her as their new Queen.

Kristoff was right; Elsa would have been proud. An outsider like Kristoff would tell her that she was dealing quite good with the aftermath of Elsa’s death. But Anna knew the truth; knew how many tears she has shed at night, right before falling into a restless and fitful slumber. She knew about the nightmares, which didn’t seem to want to cease or leave her alone. She knew about the trembling that shook her fingers whenever she had to suppress her tears when in a public setting. Anna didn’t talk about her struggle with anyone. Not because she didn’t want anyone to worry, or something along those lines, but because she feared that if she talked too much, she would eventually and completely fall apart. Once and for all. Sometimes, during the hardest days — or nights — thoughts of giving up would surface inside her swirling mind. During those days, she would try her best to distract herself; help the city, go fishing, go for a ride, read a book or stroll along the shores of the fjord. Sometimes, the thoughts went away without leaving a trace. Other times, they wouldn’t give her a break. But now she was about to be crowned Queen of Arendelle and she would take an oath to lead this land until she exhaled her last breath. And Anna was the type of person who kept her promises and she would do everything in her power not to break them.

“Your Highness?”

Gerda’s voice swam inside the chamber as both Anna and Kristoff turned towards the door.

“Yes?”

“It’s time, your Highness,”

Anna released a great sigh. “Okay. Thank you,”

She heard footsteps move away from outside the door and Anna locked her eyes with Kristoff. She noticed just how hard he was trying to keep his features somewhat normal, even though his eyes betrayed him as soon as they met Anna’s. Kristoff opened his mouth to speak. “Anna—,”

“I don’t—,” she raised a petite hand, interrupting him before he could go any further. “I really don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just go and—enjoy the day, alright?”

Kristoff’s lips formed a thin line as she shut his mouth like a petulant child. It was obvious he wanted to object, but there was no time now. When he nodded, he opened the door for her. They walked along halls, shorter than usual, and then descended the stairs that would eventually lead her to the entrance of the castle. Beyond that wall, thought Anna, there is my future and my people.

As she closed her eyes slowly, folding her arms across her waist, she took a deep breath in and listened to the bells chime all around her.

And then, the doors opened.

——————————————

_“This is so not fair, Elsa!”_

_“You’re just slow!”_

_“What? You stinker_ —, _”_

_A sparkling snowball hit her right in the face as her own fell from her gloved hands. Even with her eyes closed, mouth agape in mock surprise, she could_ feel _Elsa smile. And judging by the unladylike sounds coming from the queen herself, Elsa was also snickering. At her expense. Despite that, a smile was beginning to form on Anna’s lips, as she slowly and teasingly opened her lids and came face to face with her grinning older sister._

_“I’m going to get back at you,”_

_Elsa covered her mouth with a dainty hand as she feigned concern. “Oh, I’m so scared,” she chuckled._

_Anna had the look of a beast who was ready to pounce on their prey, as both of their bodies stilled five feet apart. “You should think about running,”_

_Just as Elsa began to mutter, “What_ —, _”, Anna lunged forward and in the meantime quickly gathered some snow from the ground. Before Elsa could react, Anna shrieked and jumped on her sister, crushing her snowball on her perfect platinum hair and hence, slightly ruining her single braid._

_“Anna!” she screamed._

_But Anna was too busy laughing and snorting like a five year old, as the two sisters collapsed on the ground, one on top of the other. Anna was still cackling when Elsa pushed her away. They lied together side by side, with their backs on a soft pillow of white snow. Elsa was pouting, and when Anna caught sight of her frown_ — _which was adorable in her opinion, mind you_ — _Anna’s giggles shook every bone of her body. And when Elsa saw the biggest smile of mirth on her little sister’s lips, she couldn’t help but let her fake annoyance crumble in the blink of an eye. Although smaller, she smiled at Anna and laughed with her. This was what she had missed out during all those years spent in isolation inside her room. This, playing with her sister, being in her presence, laugh with her, have fun with her, even though they were almost 22 and 19 respectively, was what she had deprived herself of. She almost hated herself for it, almost felt guilty about it, but then she remembered Anna’s words, how she had promised that they would, eventually, make up for lost time. They would have time to get to know each other again. They would have time to laugh together, to cry together, to fight, to cause troubles. They would have time to do the things that they hadn’t done in the past. And Elsa was happy with that. She decided to focus on the present, because_ — _the past is in the past, and it would stay where it was._

_“This is what you get for being a stinker,” Anna said after a while. She paused. “And a loser,”_

_Elsa giggled lightheartedly and grabbed Anna’s hand. The navy glove between her fingers felt wet and cold, and Elsa wondered if feeling cold was so bad like everyone said. She would never know; the cold never bothered her, anyway._

_“I’m not a loser,” Elsa retorted playfully. “Who has just caught you by surprise with a snowball in the face?”_

_Anna opened her mouth, but then closed it again. She snorted. “Okay, alright,” she rolled her eyes. “You have a point,”_

_Elsa smiled and looked above them. The sky was clear, cloudless, and she felt so carefree that she wanted to stay in this moment forever. Anna’s hand squeezed hers gently and she looked at her quizzically._

_“Thank you,” Anna stated quietly. She shifted closer and lied her head against Elsa’s shoulder. Elsa felt warmth spread all over her body as she nuzzled Anna’s copper hair. She reached up and briefly played with one of her braids._

_“For what?” she asked just as quietly._

_“For this. For everything you’ve done for me after the coronation,” Anna looked up through her lashes and smiled shyly. “I’ve never been happier, Elsa,”_

_Her cheeks were pink. Elsa wondered if it was because of the winter cold or if it was because of what they were talking about. As outgoing and chirpy as she was, Anna tended to get all shy and timid whenever deep and thoughtful conversations were brought up._

_“I’ve never been happier either, Anna,” Elsa smiled. Anna broke their eye contact by cuddling close to her and wrapping a hesitant arm around her waist. Elsa’s little grin turned into a toothy one and she timidly kissed Anna’s forehead. She closed her eyes and let the gentle breeze cuddle the both of them._

_Oh, how she wished this could last forever._

————————————————

Anna woke up feeling disoriented. When she raised her head, she realized she had fallen asleep inside her study. Beneath her crossed forearms were the papers she had been working on all day. There was a little wet spot on the fabric that covered her wrist and after a few seconds, Anna quickly noticed the drool that trailed down her mouth. The queen dried herself with the back of her hand and then rubbed her eyes, a vain attempt to get rid of the deep slumber she had fallen victim to.

Dreaming a memory was not unfamiliar to her, but this one had been so raw and had felt so _real_ that she noticed too late the lump that temporarily blocked her throat.

Anna sighed.

Looking out the window, the lack of sunlight and the omnipresent stars made her become aware that it was probably night, and that every single person in Arendelle must be sleeping.

Being the Queen was exhausting and mentally draining. Between long days of paper work, everlasting meetings with her council and her nightmares, she didn’t get a lot of sleep. When she did sleep, it was at the most inconvenient moments. Kristoff had asked her, more than once, if she had any problems with falling asleep because even though she always denied it, the dark circles underneath her eyes were the living proof of her struggle with her sleeping schedule. Her refusal usually led to Kristoff asking her if she were still okay with sleeping alone. 

After Elsa’s death, Anna had refused to share her bad with Kristoff. This had put a strain on their already feeble relationship. However, no matter what Anna said, if Kristoff couldn’t be there for her during the hard nights, he wouldn’t leave her alone during the day. He was always behind her if something fell out of her grasp, or if she needed to grab something that was on a shelf that was too high for her. At the beginning, Anna had thought that she appreciated Kristoff’s thoughtfulness. But now, after three weeks and a half, with December around the corner, she realized that she was no longer as patient and as cheerful as she used to be before their journey. Anna had become more cranky, more irascible. On bad days — when was the last time she had a _good_ day? — she tended to snap at her maids or to underline their flaws. When the food wasn’t really to her liking, she had a tendency to send it back to the kitchens. When a counselor was late to a meeting, she never missed the opportunity to scold them in front of everyone else.

At the end of the day, when she retired to her chambers and lied on her bed, she always realized just how awful of a Queen she has been. And it’s only been a week and a half since the coronation.

Anna sighed and then slumped against the back of her chair, letting her copper hair loose of the bun they’ve been tied into all day. Being Queen was exhausting. But missing Elsa was even more exhausting than it was being the queen. Another sigh escaped her as she got up, several of her joints cracking as she stood up on her feet. She blew out the candle before exiting her study. Quietly, Anna made her way along the hallways, shoulders slouched and an invisible dark cloud trailing behind her. She kept her head low, eyes following the slow and unenthusiastic movement of her feet being dragged along the carpeted floor.

Anna had gotten lost a few times during her first days on this new castle, but now she knew the way to her chambers like the back of her hand. Walking down the second to last corridor before she arrived at her bedroom, she stumbled upon a painting she had yet to see.

It was of Elsa.

With the elegance of a feline and the regality of a real queen, Elsa stood with her back straight and her head tall. There was the hint of a smile on her lips but it was so faint that Anna thought that the painter had done it intentionally. As if Elsa’s smile being there or not depended on who was contemplating the work of art. Anna decided that Elsa was smiling, because she liked the idea and a smile was the most beautiful thing her sister had ever worn.

Elsa’s tiara sparkled, the right side of her face illuminated by the sunshine filtering through the window — hidden from the eyes of the onlooker. Elsa’s azure dress complemented her sister’s curves and her dainty hands sat folded atop her lap. Anna thought that even though the painter had done a great job and the painting was majestic in all its details, the picture didn’t do Elsa’s cerulean eyes justice. Here, they lacked the warmth that was simply Elsa’s and not even the greatest of painters could ever depict her eyes perfectly.

All in all, the composition was beautiful. Lovely, even.

But had Anna seen it another day, she might have reacted a different way. Now, seeing a picture of Elsa, being _looked at_ by Elsa even though through a simple painting, it blurred her vision with the sorrow she had warded off all day. The tears were unstoppable and before she knew it, she had moved closer to the painting and had kneeled before it, as if to worship it.

Elsa’s painted eyes didn’t look at her anymore now that she was on the ground, but Anna still looked up as if, at any moment now, Elsa would lower her head and regard her with a warm gaze.

A sob escaped her lips before she could stop it and she hung her head low, squeezing her eyes in order to stop, or to at least slow down the flow of her tears. Despite that, they seemed to roll down her pink cheeks faster than before, and she reached out a hand to touch the painting, right where Elsa’s hands were. She closed her hand into a fist, as if those same hands were real and she would get to hold Elsa’s hands again. But inside her fist was nothing but air, and she clenched her jaw.

Anna crumbled to the ground, sitting with her left shoulder against the wall and the hand against the painting.

Even when her older sister seemed so _close_ to Anna, Elsa had never been so _far_ away from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I tend to write longer chapters so this is a short one for me, but I still hope you like it. Thank you to all the people that have left kudos and have commented! It made me feel motivated and seeing people read and leave their thoughts about the prologue had made my day tbh. Also, two things:
> 
> 1: Do you like these flashbacks? If so, I will bring them back more often because, as you see, it adds fluffy Elsanna moments to the chapter so if you like them, please let me know in the comments!
> 
> 2: Do you prefer longer or shorter chapters? Considering that longer chapters require more time from me, the updates would be less frequent. Anyway, comment down below if you have a preference!
> 
> Thank you to all of you who are reading, I love you all :)


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow guys, the amount of love this is receiving surprises me, so thank you! Here is a longer chapter, where a new (original) charachter appears. It is heavily filled with angst, so buckle up lol.
> 
> Thank you for reading, and as always, feel free to leave kudos and/or comments

**THE** first week of December began with Anna’s first lesson of swordplay. Oskar, a sturdy man and soldier in his late fifties, was the name of her teacher. Despite being the Queen of Arendelle, he didn’t treat her any differently from his other students — not that he had many of them. But Oskar saw her as the courageous and hard-working woman that she was and in a matter of minutes he had learned all of her weaknesses as well as her strengths.

“Don’t hold your sword that way,” Oskar had said on their first day. “Do it like this,” he had gone into the correct position. “Don’t hold the hilt too tight. Yes — like that.”

Anna realized, after their fifth lesson, where Oskar had taught her how to hold up the sword in different positions, that luckily she was a fast learner. All of her body ached, from her biceps, triceps and shoulders to every muscle of her legs. However, for the first time after weeks, she finally felt something that wasn’t emotional pain. The latter was still there, concealed by the physical exhaustion of sword fighting and her strenuous workouts. In between her lessons and her task as Queen of an enormous land, she even managed to dedicate some time to herself; she read more often, she spent more time outside of the castle walls, she rode her horse more. Anna even tried to mend her relationship with Kristoff, who was more than happy to hear of Anna’s improvement.

But, as Anna knew all too well, all good things must come to an end.

While she had never stopped thinking of Elsa, the nightmares had somehow lessened their hold around her neck during the last two weeks. Until one night, they came back stronger than ever.

When she woke up, Kristoff wasn’t there. That probably meant that he had gone to the stables. And if he had gone to Sven, that could only mean that it was almost time for the sun to rise. Anna took a deep breath, her whole body trembling with shivers. Her light green nightgown clung to her still sweating skin and, before she could grasp onto the events of the nightmare, the fragments with its details disappeared completely from her mind. Anna rubbed her eyes furiously, an uneasy feeling desperately clinging to her heart as she got out of bed and walked towards the window.

It was still dark outside. No stars were visible. Not even the northern lights or the moon were there to comfort her. It was just her, the frantic rhythm of her heartbeat, and the strange sensation that her nightmare had left behind. Aware that she would never be able to go back to sleep, she changed into a comfortable attire that sorely consisted of an ivory tunic tucked under the hem of ochre breeches. Uncaring of the cold she would probably have to face, Anna excited her chambers and proceeded to walk outside the castle’s doors in order to head to the stables.

Luckily, she didn’t stumble upon Kristoff, who surely would have asked her questions she didn’t want to answer at the moment. Why are you awake? Where are you going with that horse? _I have no idea_ , Anna thought as she mounted the horse Elsa had given her two years prior as a birthday gift. Anna caressed the animal’s obsidian black crest and smiled faintly at the memory. Anna remembered how nervous Elsa had been that day, when handing her the reins of the horse and had said, with a sheepish and shy smile on her face, _“This is Eira, my gift for you. I wanted to show you just how grateful I am that you exist. Happy birthday, my little sister,”_

The night was silent as Anna let Eira take her wherever she wanted. The streets were empty, the candles burned brighter than ever, and once again Anna found herself alone with her chaotic mind and her still erratic heartbeat. The more she moved away from the capital city, ventured deeper into the forest, the more blurred pieces of her nightmare came back to her, until it finally made sense and it was comprehensible enough for her to understand.

_“What?”_

_“The Dark Sea is too dangerous for us both,”_

_“No. No, we do this together,” Anna reminded her. “Remember the song? ‘Go too far and you’ll be drowned. Who will stop you from going too far!?”_

_Elsa shook her head firmly. “You said you believed in me. This is what I was born to do.”_

_“I don’t want to stop you from that,” Anna began, sounding completely desperate. She needed Elsa to understand why she was so scared to let her go on her own. “I don’t want to stop you from being whatever you need to be! I just_ — _I don’t want you dying. Trying to be everything for everyone else, too,” Anna paused. “Don’t do this alone. Let me help you. Please,” Anna’s voice cracked. “I can’t lose you, Elsa,”_

_Elsa’s face fell. She stepped forward and embraced Anna. “I can’t lose you either, Anna,”_

_When Elsa moved to break the hug, Anna held her tighter. “Elsa,” she whispered. “Please, let me come with you. I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive if I lose you.”_

_Anna felt her sister shudder at her words. “Anna,” she began. “We can’t go together. Who would protect Arendelle if we both die?”_

_Anna closed her eyes. “I don’t know. I just_ — _I know that I’m being selfish, but I can’t live in a world where you’re not in it. It’d be too painful.”_

_Elsa drew invisible circles on her lower back. Anna felt her chest rise and fall against hers, their heartbeats beating together like a perfect song. “You’d rather die with me than keep on living your life?” she queried, sounding both curious and incredulous._

_Anna moved away so that she could look Elsa in the eyes. “I sacrificed myself once for you and I would do it again, Elsa,” she smiled weakly. A terrible lump formed at the bottom of her throat as she brought up a hand in order to cup her sister’s cheek. Her skin felt cold beneath hers, but her cerulean eyes were as warm as the summer sun. “I love you,”_

_Elsa held the hand that was holding her cheek. “I love you, too,”_

_Somehow, her pleas succeeded and in a matter of minutes, the two sisters were bravely facing the Dark Sea together. Anna shivered at the sight; the expanse of water before them was the same one that had shamelessly swallowed her parents._

_The sky was black, the shore beneath their bare feet scarcely illuminated by the occasional lightning. When Anna looked beside her, Elsa was wearing the most courageous and determined look she had ever laid her eyes upon. Her sister looked back at her, a question burning in those same eyes; Are you sure?_

_Anna held out her hand for her. Elsa grabbed it and squeezed it without hesitation. This was all she needed to know that her little sister wanted to do this with her._

_They decided to build a small boat with Elsa’s powers. Anna found firm woods for them to use as oars. They both discarded their cloaks, leaving them on top of a rock nearby the shore._

_They pushed the boat on the water, Elsa in front and Anna sitting behind her. In a matter of seconds, they were already soaked to the bones, their hair sticking to their faces. When a strong wave crashed upon them, Anna heard Elsa gasp for air as she herself spluttered. Her hold on the oar was strong despite the cold. Her fingers trembled, but she kept going._

_“You okay?” Elsa asked, her voice blurred by the loud noises of both the sea and the terrible weather. A thunder preceded another high wave._

_“Yes!” she screamed back, all of her muscles sore as she kept on rowing. “Keep going!”_

_A particular strong wave almost sent her flying off the boat, but Elsa’s arm caught her before she could fall off. When she looked up with surprise flooding her bloodstream, Elsa’s widened and wild eyes met her own. She had almost died._

_“Come on, we can do this!” her sister exclaimed._

_But Elsa had been wrong. Thirty seconds later, they were struggling too much. They were both growing tired, Anna was shivering from the cold, and the sea was so stormy that they couldn’t even attempt to row. Anna whimpered, as she felt the looming weight of their defeat. But she didn’t regret this, not even once. As an optimist and believer, she knew they could do this. She knew they could reach Ahtohallan. They just had to_ —

_“Anna!”_

_She heard her sister’s voice frantically call out her name before she even registered what was happening. All around her was darkness. All around her was cold. She realized she was underwater as soon as she realized that no oxygen was getting inside her clogged nose. Elsa’s voice was faint and distant and distorted, and when she raised her head to look up, she saw the distortion of her sister’s platinum braid hanging from one of her shoulders. A familiar hand grasped her forearm and she could finally breathe again, once she broke the surface._

_But it didn’t last too long._

_As soon as Elsa got her head above water, a terrible, high wave capsized their boat since Elsa’s weight was leaning onto one side, and both Anna and Elsa were being greedily swallowed by the stormy sea. It was difficult to see underwater, but Anna did her best. She wiggled her arms until they came into contact with a body. The water lowered, and they were both able to see each other, both gasping for air; one shivering from the cold._

_Anna briefly saw Elsa shoot out magic from her palms, before she felt two strong hands push her against a slide of ice until she was lying on top of it. Another wave crashed into them and Anna reached out to grab Elsa’s hand._

_“Elsa, grab my hand!” she exclaimed._

_But it was as if Elsa couldn’t hear her. Elsa gaped like a dying fish, her arm flailing around her as she tried to swim. It seemed that the more Elsa tried, the more she got deeper and deeper into the water. And farther from Anna._

_“Elsa!”_

_Anna felt panic begin to course through her veins as she extended her arm as far as she could. Elsa uttered her name, but the sound went lost into the sea. A wave moved the temporary ice surface farther from its creator and Anna let out a desperate cry._

_“Anna!” she heard faintly. “Anna!”_

_“Elsa!” she screamed desperately. She realized she was weeping when she felt hot droplets slide down her cheeks instead of freezing ones. “Elsa!”_

_Her fingertips finally grazed Elsa’s. But the odds were not in their favor, as once again another wave pushed Anna far away from Elsa. Anna watched Elsa’s platinum blond braid break free due to the sheer force of the sea. Why couldn’t Elsa swim? Why couldn’t she build an ice surface similar to the one that was saving Anna’s life?_

_All these questions went unanswered as she realized that Elsa had stopped fighting against the waves. She faintly saw a couple of bubbles explode on the surface, before a wave crashed against her and took her breath away. Another one_ — _this one higher than the last_ — _turned the ice surface upside down, sending her underwater._

_The darkness came back and she looked around herself despite feeling like she wasn’t looking at all. Then, she caught a glimpse of Elsa’s hair, and began to swim in that direction. However, she seemed unreachable, because the more she swam forward, the more Elsa’s unmoving body fell deeper and deeper._

_Her eyes began to flutter as her vision started to fill with black dots and a foggy cloud. As a last effort, she tried to swim back to the surface, but it seemed to go on forever. She swam. And swam. And swam. Until the fight inside her extinguished completely, and she let unconsciousness take over her body._

_The Dark Sea had swallowed former King Agnarr and Queen Iduna first, and now it felt eager enough to swallow their daughters as well._

Anna pulled the reins until Eira came to a stop. She dismounted the horse and fell to the ground, her hands weakly gripping the first thing she could grasp. Anna felt like she couldn’t breathe, as if she was still drowning and was unable to break the surface. Even though her clothes were completely dry, she felt like her whole body was still marked by the salty wetness of the Dark Sea. She gripped her chest, her hands palming the left corner, right under her collarbones and above her breast. Anna touched her hair, to make herself come back to the real world. Her heartbeat was still beating; her hair was dry. She hadn’t drowned. She hadn’t died. _But Elsa had._

The reminder shook her to the core, until she fell to her knees and started weeping. Anna felt the wind graze her hair, as if it was trying to bring her comfort, but she couldn’t. Elsa was dead. Perhaps Elsa hadn’t died while crossing the Dark Sea, but she had _died_ nevertheless. Anna’s heart was beating, Elsa’s was not. And Anna had said it herself in her nightmare; _I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive if you die._

Anna felt incomplete. She felt like a part of her had died with her sister. She felt lost no matter where she went, and wherever she went she felt like a ghost of her was walking for her.

“Why,” she whimpered. She got on her feet, knees quivering and her feet unsteady. As she looked up, she realized she had rode for hours. The sun was attempting to rise from the horizon, but an endless expanse of clouds was preventing it from doing so. In front of her, Anna saw the shore. It was not the Dark Sea, but inside Anna’s mind, every source of water near Arendelle would eventually lead her to the monster that had killed her whole family. Anna walked towards the shore — was it a river? She didn’t know — and before her feet clad in black boots could touch the water, her hands quickly grabbed a stone from the ground. Anna angrily threw it at the sea in front of her. The faint rays of the dawn seemed to mock her as they attempted to get through the thick fog of the clouds.

“Why?!” she exclaimed, picking up another stone and throwing it further into the sea. Anna repeated the frustrated action over and over again. “Why did you take her away from me?! _Why?!_ ” she threw the last stone and then listened to the sound that followed. Standing on her feet, Anna pushed her palms against her eyes in order to stop the flow of her tears, but it was futile. “Why,” she sobbed, falling to her knees and shaking her head.

The silence of the sunrise was filled with nothing more than Anna’s atrocious whimpers and her sorrowful question repeated over and over again:

Why?

———————————————

Her day took a turn for the worse after her terrible morning. Anna didn’t know how such thing could happen. However, on a positive note, she thanked whatever deity was up there because, luckily for her, _nobody_ had seen her outburst at the shore — well, nobody except her horse.

The hours leading up to lunchtime were spent inside her study, between piles and piles of paperwork. Not even the boring words written on the piece of paper beneath her eyes were enough to distract her from the memories of her nightmare. Its fragments kept replaying inside her mind, constantly making her feel as if she was still in the Dark Sea, still trying to save Elsa’s life, failing to do so, and hence drowning with her sister. Anna rubbed her forehead, sighing and scrunching up her nose. If she breathed in too deeply, the smell of salty water would penetrate her nostrils and send a shiver up her spine. If she closed her eyes for too long, she would see nothing but Elsa’s sinking body, falling prey to the depths of the Dark Sea. If she tried to think about something that wasn’t her dream or her sister, her brain would do nothing but remind her that they were all she _could_ think of today. There was no escape, no refuge.

In the late afternoon, after the sun had set after a feeble day of daylight, Anna tried to push her limits and pour out her frustrations in her lesson with Oskar. However, today the sword weighed too heavy. Her arms were too weak, her movements too shallow. And her patience too short.

“I can’t get it,” she whined, groaning at her own incapability of doing something productive in the last twenty four hours.

“You can do it. Don’t give up yet,” Oskar encouraged her softly. Anna tried again, swinging her sword in the air and turning her body once. Once again, her blow hit nothing but air as she missed Oskar’s shield.

Anna groaned louder than before and in a rampage, she threw her sword to her left, the sound of steel clattering against soft grass and hard soil. The queen run her hands through her bangs and sighed in resignation. Out of frustration and anger, she almost felt like ripping her own twin braids apart. But Oskar spoke before she could do anything.

“Come on, pick that up, we don’t have a lot of time. Was that really necessary?” he sounded almost annoyed.

“Yes,” Anna seethed. “I had a horrible day. Ever since I came back from the Enchanted Forest, nothing seems to go well. Every day is boring, and the same, and repetitive. The only thing I do is be angry at people, which leads me to be angry at myself as well. So _yes_. It was _necessary_ ,”

Oskar stared at her with an unimpressed and neutral look on his face. Without uttering a word, he placed his shield back to its place and began to get rid of the grey uniform they used during their lessons.

Anna narrowed her eyes. She felt perplexed. “What are you doing?”

“You’re clearly not in the mood tonight. I can’t waste my time with you.”

Anna’s mouth hung open. “Excuse me?”

Oskar sighed and stood with his back to her. Then, he turned around and regarded her with a cold look. “You’re here to learn how to handle a sword. How to _fight_ with a sword. You’re not here to — to vent. I don’t need to hear about this. I can’t deal with your negativity right now.”

Anna was speechless as she watched Oskar retreat. Before he could exit the fenced area, she spoke firmly. “You have no right to reproach me like that, Sir Oskar. I am the Queen.”

“Well, you don’t seem to act like one.”

“I’m doing the best that I can.”

“We all are, aren’t we?” Oskar didn’t meet her eyes as he stood five feet away from her. “That doesn’t mean you can’t act like a Queen. A valuable queen wouldn’t treat her people like this.”

“You are not allowed to speak to me like that,” Anna’s voice started to quiver, feeling her own resolve crumbling.

“And you are not allowed, nor have any right, to treat me like I’m nothing. Queen Elsa wouldn’t have—,”

“Well, _Queen Elsa_ is not here anymore, so,”

Her words stung more than they should. They left a bitter taste in her tongue as she let them echo in the silence that followed her voice. Oskar met her eyes, nothing but emotional apathy inside of his blue irises. Anna felt vulnerable. She felt like she had stripped to nothing before someone who didn’t even know her. Oskar knew her as a swordfighter. He didn’t know her as the sheer pain that swam inside her veins. He didn’t know her as the irregular heartbeat that shook her broken and irreparable heart.

Anna felt like crying. Her eyes were heavy from all the times she had wept all these days, but they still brimmed with tears as soon as Oskar stepped forward and put his big hands on top of her tense shoulders. Finally, something akin to pity and understanding crossed his eyes as he pursed his lips.

“Listen,” he began with a tired sigh. He let a moment of silence fill his pause. Then, “You are young. You’ve become queen at the same age as your sister. She unfortunately died too soon, but that doesn’t mean that what she has done for this country has to go to waste,” he said firmly but softly. Anna realized he wasn’t reprimanding her. She realized these were the words coming from someone who genuinely cared about her. And now she felt even worse. This man in front of her had dedicated her weeks and time to give her the opportunity to become _great_ at sword fighting, only for her to disrespect him all the time; sometimes unconsciously, sometimes on purpose.

Anna lowered her head and let her gaze linger on his feet. She felt like a kid all over again. “I’m sorry, Oskar. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. It’s just—,” she paused, struggling to get the words past the lump in her throat. Anna came to one conclusion; she hated crying. It drained her of all her energy and she didn’t feel better after; she just felt _weak_. “It’s just hard,” she whispered, not meeting his eyes.

“It is, isn’t it?” Oskar said quietly. There was the hint of a sad smile on his thin lips. The wrinkles near his eyes became visible when the corners of his mouth turned upwards. He took a deep breath and tilted her chin upwards. “My mother died giving birth to me and the pain caused by her death killed my father a few years later. I became an orphan; I was _alone_. I knew nothing about the real world. The only thing I knew was how to handle a sword and how to be sad all the time. Until I finally met my wife and she gave me my _beautiful_ son, Asmund,” Oskar smiled faintly, but sorrow was clear in his eyes as he continued. “The last time I saw him was right before he went with the other Arendellian soldiers to the forest where the Northuldra lived. The mist fell, and he never came back,” he lowered his head and then took a step away from Anna. “He was an honorable soldier. I taught him _everything_ I knew. He gave his life for this land and his death — it affected my wife so deeply, that she died days later. And I’ve been alone ever since, doing the only thing that I love the most; sword fighting,”

Oskar paused as if he were too lost in his memories to continue. Anna waited with bated breath, a tear almost slipping from her reddened teal eyes.

“I took an oath. And I’m never going to turn my back on Arendelle,” he broached. When he turned, there was a determined look on his face. “But you, _your Majesty_ , you are being too hard on yourself right now.”

Anna began to retort. “Oskar, I—,”

He interrupted her. “My heart has known nothing but grief. And grief… it doesn’t just…vanish. Disappear. Pain doesn’t get any easier. It’s not something you can ignore your whole life. You just...” he trailed off. Oskar sighed. “You just have to accept that it’s going to be the only thing that will _truly_ keep you company till your last living breath,”

“But it’s too much,” Anna’s voice cracked as she shook her head. The tears inside her eyes began to roll down her pink cheeks. She held her forearms tightly. “I can’t — I feel like I can’t breathe.”

“I know,” Oskar nodded sadly. “But — remember your sister. Remember the memories you have shared with her and _feel_ the pain. Feel _it_. Remember her _through_ it. Don’t…” he closed his eyes for a moment. “Losing someone like that is never easy. And _it_ doesn’t get easier,” Oskar paused. Then, as if to himself, he whispered, “It never _will_.”

Anna managed to hold it together until Oskar quietly left her alone. She walked slowly towards her sword and kneeled beside it. In its steel, she saw her own reflection; an unrecognizable reflection of herself. Anna lowered her head and wept quietly.

Anna stayed outside until the moon was hanging above her. No sounds were heard around her; almost as if the night was silently grieving _with_ her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts about Oskar? :)


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is EXTREMELY sad and also trigger warning for mentions (intentions) of suicide. BUT I swear that things will start to get better. Plot is finally moving from next chapter. 
> 
> As always, please leave kudos and/or comments if you liked this! Hearing your opinions matters to me :)
> 
> P.s. Also, if you listen to music while reading fics, I listened to taylor swift's song "epiphany" while writing this, so it could help you set the depressing mood that this chapter needs :')
> 
> Thank you for reading and now, enjoy!

**_SILENCE_ ** _had never sounded so peaceful to Anna’s ears. Standing in front of her parents’ gravestones gave her a sense of calmness that somehow tranquilized her. It felt like they were still there, with and beside her. Almost as if they had never left._

**** _It had been five years since their death, more or less. Dealing with the pain had proved to be a struggle at first, when she had no one to talk to except the pictures on the walls. But now, the door to her sister’s room was open, and seeking comfort was easier. Anna visited the graveyard at least once a month, to speak to two stones as if her parents could still hear her. She liked to think that, one way or another, they could._

_“So,” Anna began, fiddling with her fingers. “It was my birthday yesterday,” she gushed with a blush. The wind blew and the grass tickled the exposed skin of her ankles. She giggled. “I turned twenty and, generally speaking, I had a good time. I always have a good time when I’m with Elsa, and Kristoff, and Olaf and Sven. They cheer me up and they just…”_

_Anna went on to describe the perfect day she had had the day prior. Talking about her adventures with her friends always excited her. Somehow, reminiscing memories almost made her feel like she was reliving them. Every time she paused to take in a deep breath, nature seemed to reply to her; a gust of wind, birds chirping happily in the nearby trees, the sun smiling down at her with its rays of light. At some point, she gathered her green skirts and sat down on the grass with her legs crossed. As she talked about everything and nothing, she watched the various ants build their own house; when they tried to climb onto her feet, she giggled and blew them away with her breath. As Anna sang the lullaby her mother had once sung to her, she mindlessly built a crown made of daisies. She finished just as another (familiar) voice filled the silence that followed the song._

_“Did the ants ask you to sing them Mother’s lullaby so they could fall asleep?”_

_Anna started and turned around with a quiet gasp. Elsa was standing there, looking as beautiful as the first rays of light after a stormy night, with a teasing smile turning her lips upwards. The ends of her lavender dress danced in the wind, her dainty hands folded across her abdomen and her single braid hanging over one shoulder. Anna thought that she had never looked more regal than in this moment._

_“Stinker,” she mumbled happily while rolling her eyes. When Anna turned towards the gravestones she heard Elsa’s throaty giggle, a sound that had started to become more frequent the more time passed. Footsteps filled the silence between them as the queen sat beside the princess, her folded legs tucked beneath her. Elsa leaned her weight on her right arm and, albeit hesitantly, she placed her head against her sister’s shoulder. Anna’s heart warmed at the affectionate gesture; one that would have surprised her years ago. Elsa was becoming more and more comfortable around her and Anna had never felt more happy than in this moment, with the possibility to lean her face against the crown of Elsa’s head instead of against her closed door._

_“How long have you been here?” Elsa asked softly. When Anna glanced at her, she saw that her eyes were closed; truly enjoying the warm summer afternoon._

_“I don’t know, probably a couple hours.”_

_Elsa hummed and snuggled closer, placing her left hand against Anna’s forearm. “Do you think that they’re happy right now?”_

_“Who, Mama and Papa?”_

_“Hm,” Elsa nodded._

_Anna looked up at the cloudless sky. “I like to think that if they’re together, wherever they are, then they’re happy,” she replied softly. “What about you?”_

_“I wish they hadn’t left us so soon,” Elsa pondered. “But if they’re happy, I am happy, too.”_

_Anna nodded and then hesitantly wrapped an arm around her sister’s waist, effectively hugging her close. “Look what I did for you,” she said after a while, lifting the crown of daisies. Elsa pulled away from her in order to get a better look._

_“A crown?” Elsa questioned with a tentative smile._

_“A flower crown, your Majesty,” Anna teased. “This is better than the one you own.”_

_“Of course,” Elsa joked, giggling once Anna feigned offense._

_“You should be grateful, dear sister. This is worth more than anything in this world,”_

_“I bet it is,” Elsa’s words were playful, but there was still a lightheartedness and warmth in her voice that told Anna that she was really touched by Anna’s gift._

_“Wear it,” Anna suggested, sounding almost impatient._

_Elsa took it from her and gingerly placed it on her head. It suited her perfectly._

_“You look beautiful. Actually, you look beautifuller, your Majesty,” Anna giggled. Elsa covered her mouth as a loud laugh threatened to leave her mouth._

_“Thank you,” she blushed, looking down and searching for Anna’s hand. Elsa intertwined their fingers and smiled warmly at her sister. A strange look crossed her features as Elsa smile’s grew. “I love you, Anna.”_

_“I love you too, sis,” Anna squeezed her hand and grinned. “Will you promise me something, then?”_

_“Of course,”_

_Anna looked down at their interlocked hands. “Promise me you will never let go of my hand.”_

_The meaning of her words were clear to Elsa; Anna was asking her to never leave her. And that was a promise she could make._

_“I promise.”_

——————————————————

The threatening grey clouds above her were filled with snow, but Anna couldn’t care less. She stood in front of three gravestones instead of two, all of them staring back at her blankly. She wanted to say so many things to them, if only they were still alive.

The snow that covered the meadow crunched beneath her winter boots as she kneeled in front of Elsa’s gravestone. She smoothed out the wrinkles on both her A-shape black dress and her deep purple cloak. Anna stared at Elsa’s name etched in the stone and traced the outline of each letter with her quivering fingertips. She had forgotten her gloves back at the castle.

Anna didn’t know how long she spent gazing at Elsa’s gravestone. At some point, the wind picked up, the birds began to seek a refuge for the night, and the sun was no longer shining upon Arendelle. It had been a few days since the last time she saw it.

Then, it started snowing. Softly, at first. The first snowflake fell upon the tip of Anna’s nose and she came back from her empty thoughts. She sighed and lowered her hand back to her lap. The snow beneath her knees was beginning to dampen the soft material of her ochre breeches, but today nothing mattered.

Because today had been terrible. The night before had snowed, so when all of Arendelle had woken up, everyone rejoiced at the beautiful sight of a white blanket cover all the streets of the capital city. Everyone was happy. Everyone but Anna. Because snow reminded her of Elsa. And later that afternoon, when she had gone outside to saunter down the streets, a group of giddy and giggling children had asked her if she wanted to build a snowman with them. Anna had thought that being surrounded by the infectious naivety of kids would do her good and lift her spirits. But when she had ended her own snowman, had decorated it with its characteristic three black stones as buttons, two as eyes, a carrot as nose, and twigs as arms, she had suddenly started crying. According to Kristoff, she had been _hysterically crying_. In front of a group of ten perplexed and surprised kids. Anna remembered hugging the unmoving snowman, crying out Olaf’s name. She remembered little of what happened around her during her breakdown. But she could remember Kristoff’s strong hands grasping her shoulders, gently prying her away from the snowman. She could remember his soothing voice whisper sweet nothings into her ear as she collapsed against him in a desperate hug. Kristoff had accompanied her inside the castle, walking with her to her bedroom. He had tucked her in the bed and had kissed her forehead, softly telling her to rest. “You will feel better when you wake up,” he had told her.

Anna was beginning to be doubtful now. She was still a little embarrassed and angry at herself for being not thoughtful enough. She shouldn’t have displayed so much sorrow in a public space, especially in front of kids, who were usually driven by joy and filled with hope. Surely, seeing the Queen of Arendelle break down in the middle of the afternoon and hug a snowman must have been a strange sight.

Anna sighed once again and shook her head. She decided not to think too much about it and decided, instead, to do what she came her for. She reached inside her travel bag, the same one she had carried with her when she had gone to the Enchanted Forest, and shakily pulled out Olaf’s remnants; five pieces of coal — three for his buttons and two for his eyes — a carrot and his little twigs. Anna placed them right beside Elsa’s gravestone and took a deep breath. She hadn’t seen them since his death.

“You are where you belong now,” Anna whispered, grabbing the end of a twig and squeezing it, as if she was still holding on tight to Olaf’s hand.

Anna leaned forward, her forehead against Elsa’s gravestone. She spoke quietly, her whole body shaking because of the cold that wrecked her bones. “I miss you,” she whispered. “I know your body is not here. That this is just a memorial to commemorate you. But I hope that you can still hear me. Because—,” she paused and closed her eyes. She placed a hand against the freezing stone, the other still holding Olaf’s twig. “I need you to give me the strength to _move on._ I can’t go on like this. I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive any longer without you. But Arendelle needs me. And I need _you_ , Elsa. Please. _Please_.”

Silence was the only answer she received. Anna breathed deeply, her breath visible due to the cold temperatures. The snow begun to fall harder; a blizzard was coming, Anna assumed. Weakly, she stood up on her feet and held onto the leather shoulder strap of her bag. For a moment, she stared at the silent gravestone of her sister and at Olaf’s remnants gathered beside it. Then, resigned, she turned and walked the small distance that separated the royal graveyard, which belonged to her family, from the castle. Once inside, she went to her study, ready to distract herself with paperwork.

And outside, it never stopped snowing.

———————————————

Anna heard Kristoff’s voice in the hall before a knock sounded at her door.

“Come in,” she said absentmindedly. Even when Kristoff let himself inside her study and closed the door seconds later, Anna still kept her eyes on the paperwork. Only when he stood directly across her table, casting a shadow upon her, did the queen raise her face and eye him suspiciously. Kristoff wore a distressed and hesitant frown and Anna knew, just then, that this conversation would probably end badly.

“Hey,” he offered quietly. “Are you busy?”

“What does it look like?” she replied. She didn’t mean to sound so mean, but her voice came out full of venom. Anna looked away while they simultaneously sighed.

“I really need to speak with you right now,” Kristoff stated urgently. Anna bit her bottom lip thoughtfully and then neatly placed the quill beside her paperwork.

“Speak,” she said. “I’m all ears,”

Kristoff pursed his lips before sighing again. “If I can put it bluntly — one counselor spoke to me the other day. Apparently, according to him, the whole Council thinks that it’s best if we arrange a marriage between us. Possibly soon. Also—,”

“Marriage? What do you—,”

“Please,” Kristoff interrupted her firmly. “Let me finish,”

Anna slumped against the back of her chair and swallowed an exasperated sigh.

“Also, they talked about heirs, but I told him that it was too soon. As for the marriage, I told him that I would have talked about it with you, because, _you know_ , we’re in a committed relationship. So,” Kristoff raised his arms and then lowered them shortly after. “Here I am.”

Anna felt panic rise within her throat. _Marriage? Heirs?_ “Kristoff,” she began, trying not to sound too overwhelmed by the bizarre situation. She stammered out a response, “I—I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m ready to fully give you myself. I don’t know if I’m ready for—for _marriage_. Or heirs, for that matter. I—,”

“Can’t you at least think about it?” Kristoff asked, sounding almost annoyed with her. His brown eyes weren’t so familiar, and his voice wasn’t so warm. Anna wondered why.

“I just did that,” Anna replied quickly. “I’m not _ready_ , Kristoff. I have too much going on, and—,”

“I wanted to ask you,” he interrupted her for the second time. “Before the trip to the Enchanted Forest. I wanted to ask you that night we did Charades, but you—,” he bit his lip, obviously refraining himself from saying something.

“But what?” she asked expectantly.

Kristoff averted his eyes, as if to collect his thoughts. “But you were too busy with your sister.”

Anna felt offended. “And that’s a bad thing?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You implied it.”

“Anna—,”

“After that night there were so many other occasions where you could have just asked me to marry you. Why didn’t you do that, then? Was I _too busy with my sister_ then, too?”

“If I have to be honest,” Kristoff met her cold stare with one just as cold. “Yes, you were.”

“I didn’t want her to die, Kristoff! I was scared I was going to lose her, so I did everything I could to protect her!”

“She died anyway, so what was the point?!”

Anna felt like knives had been thrusted inside her heart. She let her mouth hang open, before Kristoff scoffed and walked away from her table. He began pacing, and Anna stood up as well. “If I had said yes to your proposal before Elsa’s death, I still wouldn’t be ready to marry you _now_.”

“Oh, so now our relationship depends on Elsa?”

“She has nothing to do with our relationship,” she seethed. “And don’t you _dare_ talk like that about _my_ sister.”

Kristoff shook his head and run a hand through his messy blonde hair. A heavy silence filled with frustration and anger fell between them. Anna’s fingers shook as she pondered on Kristoff’s words. _I was just trying to protect her and it didn’t work out anyway_. Anna closed her hands into fist. _Were my attempts not enough? Had I tried harder, would she be alive now?_ A temporary thought crossed her mind. _If Elsa’s dead, is it my fault?_ Anna felt a lump grow within her throat. _I should have done better. I should have protected her, or at least helped her more._

“Anna,” Kristoff’s neutral voice brought her back to the real world, farther from the dark one that permeated her thoughts. “I love you. And I care about you. But you — you just have to move on. I know it’s hard and I have never experienced this type of loss. But you _are_ the Queen, and these people need you. They’re worried about you because of what happened the other day—,” Anna grimaced at the memory of her weeping and hugging a cold snowman. “—and I am, too. I am worried. Thinking about the past is not healthy, and Elsa wouldn’t want to see you like this—,”

“You don’t know her like I do,” Anna retorted.

Kristoff sighed and moved forward towards her. But even in their close physical proximity, Kristoff knew they were far away from each other. “What I want to say, is that a wedding would lift Arendelle’s spirits and people would be happy and it would be seen as a new beginning. The light after a tunnel. Don’t you want that, Anna?”

_I want Elsa to be alive, not a stupid marriage._ Anna remained silent and kept her thoughts to herself.

“Anna?”

“I’m not ready,” she replied firmly.

Kristoff groaned and began pacing again. “I can’t believe you,” he muttered. “I’m trying to do the right thing here, and you should meet me halfway!”

“I don’t want to have a wedding, Kristoff! Is that so hard to understand?!”

“Because Elsa is dead? Anna, stop clinging to the _past_! Don’t you care about your people?!”

Anna stepped forward, pointing a threatening finger at his chest. “Don’t _talk_ about my sister!” she exclaimed angrily. She felt herself growing vulnerable the more they discussed this topic further and the lump inside her throat began to mist her eyes. Even though they were starting to brim with cold tears, they’ve never felt hotter than in this moment. A fire of anger scorching within a sea of teal. “And I care about _my_ people! I just — I feel like I’ve been incomplete ever since we’ve returned, and apparently, even though _you love me_ —,” Anna mocked him. “—you don’t understand, because you — you didn’t _lose_ anyone! I did, and _you_ didn’t!”

Kristoff let out a laugh without mirth. “Oh, yes, I did. I lost _you_. I lost you, because you’ve never been the same after that day!”

Anna shook her head, exasperated, and raising her voice, she exclaimed, “Of course I’m not the same person I used to be. I’ve lost _every_ single person that I’ve ever loved, Kristoff!”

“Except me.”

A moment of silence passed. Anna breathed in sharply. “What?”

“You have lost everyone you have ever loved except me. Because _you_ love _me_ , right?”

Another pause. Kristoff clearly interpreted the deafening silence as hesitation from Anna’s part. “Kristoff, I do, I—,”

“If you loved me, you would treat me _better_ than this.”

When Anna spoke next, her voice cracked. “Kristoff, I’m _hurting_.”

“I’m hurting, too! Do you think that I’m happy to see you like this? Do you think that I’m happy when you are literally disintegrating, _disappearing_ before my eyes?!” Kristoff burst out, his voice echoing painfully inside the study. Anna felt a single, silent and invisible tear escape from her right eye. “I love you, Anna. But I _deserve_ better than this.”

Anna tried to find something to say, something to grasp onto, but the only words that managed to get out of her mouth were, “Kristoff, _please_ —,”

“I deserve better, and _you_ deserve to _heal_ ,” Kristoff averted his eyes, a look of resolution and determination swimming inside of them. Sounding almost both defeated and distressed, he stated quietly, “And I’m _clearly_ not helping you.”

“You are, Kristoff,” Anna pleaded softly, but her voice came out weak.

“How can you say _that_ when you literally avoid me every day?! I tried to be there for you but you keep on rejecting me!”

“I’m trying to do my best, Kristoff!”

Kristoff scoffed. He seemed pained by her statement. He looked sad, crestfallen and almost disappointed. Anna understood then, as his fiery eyes met her teary ones, that it was over. Everything that they’ve gone through for the past three years crumbled right before her eyes. Time seemed to stop as he shook his head. Anna knew then, that his next words would feel like an arrow shot straight to the heart.

“Well, it is not _enough_ , then.”

With that, he left the room. Anna called out his name, but her voice died as soon as the door shut closed behind him. Anna stood motionless in the middle of the chamber, Kristoff’s words echoing inside her brain like an awful reminder of what she had become. _It is all your fault._ An evil voice inside her head repeated over and over again, until Anna broke down crying. She wrapped her arms around her waist and cupped her elbows with her quivering hands. Nothing made sense anymore. Bridges kept on burning and the past kept on making scars around her heart. Elsa was dead. Olaf was dead. Kristoff had left her and by default, Sven had left her, too. She was alone. _Completely_ alone. And only one thought crossed Anna’s mind, then.

She couldn’t take this anymore.

———————————————

The castle was asleep as night fell upon Arendelle. Everyone had retired to their respective chambers. Everyone _but_ the queen, who was still inside her locked study.

Anna fell to her knees. Her chest shook with the force of a soundless whimper as her eyes warily peered down at the knife her hand was holding. Its steel reflected the moonlight of a restless night. She gritted her teeth. Breathing was rather grueling, her lungs quivering inside her ribcage. Everything hurt and the pressure was too much, almost unbearable. It was as if her whole body was being held captive by an invisible rope of thorns. Anna raised her hand until she could feel the coldness of the knife against her neck. She put the blade against the point where life beat hardest and her teal eyes shut just as a lone tear rolled down her right cheek. The particle that embodied all her sorrow kissed the blade of her knife and it burned as it trickled down to her knuckles. Her hand shook, but her determination never wavered. She needed this. Anna couldn’t take this anymore. Every day felt like a struggle. She felt like a starving animal forced to drag a gigantic plow through a stinging field of corn. Sleep was not a refuge anymore, for her demons and grief followed her even when she managed to slip into a state of unconsciousness. This was her only chance at being free; her only chance at taking away the pain.

Anna whimpered as she put more pressure against her skin. More tears streamed down her tense cheeks, but something was holding her back. Her fingers around the hilt of her knife trembled slightly, until they were so unstable that she had to wrap both of her hands around it.

Memories of her sister filled her head, and as the sight of a content, inhibited and free Elsa running around the courtyard played inside her mind, her lips twitched upwards. Through her tears, she still managed to smile lazily.

_Oh, Elsa, they’re beautiful. But you know I don’t sk_ —

_Come on, you can do it!_

Anna squeezed her hold around the hilt as she forced herself to push the blade against her skin and wipe out the last trace of life that beat inside of her, but she couldn’t. Elsa’s laugh echoed between her ears, her crystal clear and cerulean eyes were at the forefront of her mind along with her platinum blonde braid swung over one shoulder. Elsa was everywhere. It was as if Elsa herself was holding the bottom of the hilt, pulling the blade away from Anna’s neck. As if to say, _don’t do it._

Anna groaned as she let both of her hands fall to her sides, the blade no longer perilous as it clattered on the ground. Anna covered her face with trembling fingers and didn’t dare to hold back the atrocious sobs that broke free. She momentarily felt ashamed. Ashamed because she had dared to take her own life and hence, deprive Arendelle of its queen, of its only source of hope for a better future. Anna cried into her hands as she felt herself crumble, her body falling forward and her forehead coming into contact with the cold ground.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered to no one in particular. She squeezed her eyes shut, but the tears still flowed like a relentless river. Her apology echoed between the mountains of a sleeping land. Nevertheless, she repeated, “I’m _sorry_.”

And Arendelle was deaf to Anna’s loud pleas and cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.p.s. The things written in italics and to the right side are memories. They usually are conversations that happened in the movies so you will probably recognize them anyway :)


	5. Chapter 4

**ON** the occasion of Elsa’s birthday, Anna organized an assemblage in the courtyard of the castle. Everyone took it upon themselves to bring a gift, one that would have been given to the former Queen of Arendelle, if only she had been still alive. Before facing the crowd of people, Anna stayed inside her chamber for more than a long moment. Copper hair gathered in twin braids, ears concealed by a navy crochet hat, Anna sat down on the edge of her bed and smoothed out the wrinkles of her deep blue dress. She slowly put on gloves and then, slowly, she took hold of Sir Jorgenbjorgen from her night table. Anna held the stuffed animal between her fingers and stared at its only button eye. She weakly smiled down at it and then pulled it close to her chest, hugging him tightly as if he were her sister.

“Happy birthday, dear sister,” she whispered. Anna kissed the head of Sir Jorgenbjorgen and then put it back to its place. She blew the candle by her bed and then exited her room. The late night felt crisp against her skin as she stepped outside the castle’s doors. Anna greeted everyone with a wave of the hand and the best smile she could muster. Kai and Gerda were by her side, and she tried not to tear up at the thought of what this must look like to everyone in front of her; just last year, she was standing in the same spot, with Elsa, Olaf and Kristoff beside her. Now, there she stood alone. Hands clasped together, having no sister to hold hands with.

The people of Arendelle started to get in line in order to bestow their gifts to the queen. Anna thanked every single person that came up to her, shaking their hands and smiling warmly. It had been awhile since she had last smiled at her people. After that night where she had almost succumbed to her weakness, she had promised herself that she would try harder. She would do everything in her power to make Arendelle soar and make its people happy and proud of her.

When everyone had given their gifts, the queen asked Kai and Gerda to bring them inside and put them all in a chest in the attic of her chambers. Then, Anna asked everyone to do a minute of silence, in order to honor Elsa and the incredible and courageous deeds she had done for this land. The clock chimed above their heads and Anna watched as everyone lowered their heads; somber expressions marring all their faces as they mourned the loss of her sister. Anna then ducked her head, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath in. _I wish you were here_ , she thought. _I wish you could see how everyone still loves you, even when your heart has long stopped beating._ Anna clasped her hands across her waist and took in the silence, the occasional wind and the smell of the salty breeze blowing through the fjord. Then the clock struck again, signaled the end of the minute of silence. People looked up at the queen, waiting for her to say something for her sister.

So Anna spoke as softly as possible, her wind carrying her words to everyone standing in the courtyard.

“I want to thank everyone for being here. I know Elsa—,” her voice cracked at the mention of her sister’s name. She cleared her throat with a small smile. “Elsa would be delighted and touched by all of this. Wherever she is, I hope that she feels happy,” she took a deep breath. Anna accidentally looked to her side, perhaps expecting to see Elsa, or Olaf — but no one was there. And even though she had never felt more alone in her life, she knew that Elsa was still by her side. That she would never be _truly_ alone. “And I know that she’s not here anymore, physically. But I _believe_ that she’s keeping an eye on us, because she will always be _our_ guiding star. No matter what.”

The crowd broke into soft applauses and Anna bowed gently, as if to thank everyone for their support. Then, she dismissed everyone, telling them, “Tomorrow is a new day. Let’s make it worth it.”

She watched the crowd dissolve into groups — families, perhaps — and then stared at the courtyard as it emptied. Just before she could turn around and go back inside the castle, someone called out her name.

“Anna, wait,”

Kristoff stood at the bottom of the few stairs that led to the entrance of the castle. Anna held her breath as she watched him walk closer. She hadn’t seen him since the day he had broken up with her.

“Kristoff,” she said stiffly. “Is there something wrong?”

Kristoff was nervous; she could see it in the way he fiddled with his fingers and kept averting his eyes to the ground. “No, nothing’s wrong.”

Kai and Gerda, who were standing beside the queen, knew that it wasn’t their business, so they quietly left them alone by going inside. Anna bid them goodnight and then turned towards Kristoff. She tried to not let her surprise show on her face, but she had never been good at hiding her emotions; she had always been an open book, her door open to everyone. Even when they had the intentions of hurting her.

“What is it, then?” she asked quietly. She didn’t sound cold, nor distant. She just sounded neutral.

“I wanted to say sorry,” Kristoff began. “Sorry for what I said that day we—,”

“It’s okay,” she interrupted him. Was it a lie? Was it the truth? Anna didn’t know. “You were right. About everything.”

“No, Anna,” Kristoff seemed to want to grab her hands, even though they were firmly clasped before her, but then thought better and didn’t. “I just — I’m really sorry. You’re going through a lot and all of this has been really hard on — the both of us. You are hurting, and I shouldn’t have said all those hurtful things.”

Anna said nothing and stood still. _At least he’s apologizing._

“I’m also sorry for speaking of your sister in that way. It was mean and uncalled for, so I’m sorry for that, too,” Kristoff said softly. He looked into her eyes and, unable to take the compassion inside his brown stare, Anna looked at her own feet. “I’m sorry that we had to end that way. I thought that we were meant to be, but—,” he sighed and run a hand through his blonde ruffled hair. “—it’s just not the right time, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry it has to be this way.”

“It’s okay,” she repeated. Anna paused, then looked up at him, a grateful smile playing hesitantly on her lips. “I appreciate and accept your apologies.”

Kristoff seemed relieved to hear that, as he released a great sigh of relief. His smile turned into a grin. “Can we still be friends?”

Anna relaxed her shoulders as her smile grew bigger. “I think I would like that.”

As soon as those words were out, Kristoff engulfed her in a bone crushing hug. As surprised as she was, Anna didn’t immediately reciprocate the public display of affection. But then, she realized that she had strangely been in need of a hug today, and this was right what she needed at the moment.

Anna hugged him tightly, wrapping her arms around his back and relishing in the warmth his body transmitted to her. She closed her eyes and then murmured, “Thank you, Kristoff.”

“Don’t,” he squeezed her a little more. “I just want you to be _happy._ ”

Anna held onto him as the cold winter breeze caressed both of their hair and cheeks.

“I will be,” she whispered. “I _will_ be.”

———————————————

_Anna skipped down the hallways of the castle. She hummed a happy tune, her right hand grasping tightly Elsa’s present. Today, her sister finally turned twenty three. And Anna wanted nothing more than to spend the day with her._

_“Good morning, Gerda!” the princess exclaimed, waving at the kind servant._

_“Good morning, Princess Anna,” the older woman smiled warmly. “What got you in such a good mood?”_

_Anna beamed. “It’s Elsa’s birthday!”_

_Gerda chuckled and nodded. “That’s right.”_

_Anna’s grin didn’t leave her face as she practically run the small distance that separated her from Elsa’s chambers. When she stood in front of her bedroom, no hesitation held her back as she knocked merrily. “Elsa,” she sang. “My beautiful sister, open up the door,”_

_Anna heard no movement on the other side of the door. After a moment, she knocked a second time. She called out Elsa’s name, and just before a frown could turn her lips upside down, she turned the knob and entered the bedroom; only to find it devoid of her sister._

_“Queen Elsa, is outside, your Highness,”_

_Anna started. “Oh, Kai. It’s just you,”_

_“My apologies for catching you by surprise.”_

_Anna shrugged. “You said she’s outside?”_

_“Yes, your Highness.”_

_“Well then,” Anna went back to smiling. “Guess I’ll just go and find her,”_

_Seven minutes later, Anna finally found her sister. Elsa was just outside the capital city, sitting cross legged by the shore of a river and in the middle of nature. The princess immediately beamed at the sight of her sister._

_“Happy birthday, Elsa!”_

_Elsa squealed as Anna suddenly appeared from behind her, both of her arms flying around Elsa’s shoulders. The queen recovered quickly from the shock and hugged her sister back. “Thank you, Anna.”_

_Anna giggled and sat beside her, their clad thighs touching gently. When the princess looked up at the queen’s face, Elsa was wearing a gentle and warm smile. Anna grinned back and let the silence cuddle the both of them._

_“What are you doing out here?” she asked._

_Elsa looked across them at the river. “Just wanted to use my powers,” she shrugged shyly._

_“Really?” Anna asked with a bright smile. Elsa smirked, finding Anna’s excitement rather amusing._

_“Yes,” she smiled. Elsa looked down at her own hands just as a flicker of ice magic began to break free from her palm. It was Anna’s turn to squeal happily. Elsa made a little snowflake, letting it float towards Anna’s face before placing it teasingly on the tip of her sister’s nose. Anna blinked rapidly as she giggled at the cold sensation of snow tickling the sensitive skin of her face. When Elsa dissolved her magic, Anna’s giggles got louder and her teal eyes sparkled brighter than the sun above them._

_Then, Anna widened her eyes as she suddenly remembered something. “Oh! I got you something,” she admitted shyly._

_“You didn’t have to, Anna,” Elsa replied, a blush already forming on her pale cheeks._

_Anna’s cheeks were redder, her freckles sticking out more because of it. “I wanted to,” she said softly. “Here,”_

_The princess handed the queen a small wooden box. Elsa opened it with delicate fingers, her eyes widening and her lips parting when she caught sight of what was inside. “Oh, Anna. These are beautiful,”_

_Anna’s gift was simple; two earrings in the shape of snowflakes. Anna had thought of Elsa when she had seen them at the jeweler two weeks prior. The pale blue color of the diamonds reminded her of her sister’s eyes, and she knew Elsa would look gorgeous wearing them. “You can try them on, if you want,”_

_“I think I would need a mirror for that,” Elsa confessed sheepishly. “Maybe you can help me?”_

_“You want me to put them on for you?” Anna stuttered._

_Elsa smiled shyly. “If you want.”_

_“Of course!” Anna replied with a big smile. Elsa giggled and handed the earrings to her sister, who began to lean closer and put them on Elsa’s ear. Being so close to her sister, having the opportunity to touch her so freely, still exhilarated Anna. As she dealt with the earring on Elsa’s right ear, Anna could hear clearly her sister’s soft breathing pattern; her lungs slowly filling with oxygen before they deflated. From up here, Anna could see every single light freckle on pale and porcelain skin._

_When their eyes met briefly, Anna smiled and averted her gaze, her cheeks flaring up._

_“All done,” she whispered. The birds around them chirped. The wind blew._

_“How do I look?” Elsa asked shyly, playing with the tip of her blond braid._

_“You look beautiful,” Anna said. “More than beautiful, actually. I do a great job when picking out presents for people.”_

_Elsa let out a breathy chuckle and gently shoved her sister’s shoulder. “You’re so silly,”_

_“True,” Anna smiled warmly._

_Elsa suddenly pulled her in towards her and hugged her. Anna almost fell on top of her, but she kept her balance_ — _a first for her, since she’s so clumsy. “Thank you, really,” Elsa whispered softly. Anna shivered and held her sister closer._

_She said nothing. Anna sighed happily and rubbed her hands up and down Elsa’s back. It wasn’t even her birthday, and yet she felt like being in Elsa’s company was a present in itself._

———————————————

The days that followed Elsa’s birthday filled her with a strange sense of uneasiness. It had yet to stop snowing and yet, Anna noticed something different in the snowflakes that kept falling from the sky.

Kristoff was explaining her a story that one of the trolls had once told him while simultaneously getting Sven ready for their late evening outing. The ice harvester debated whether to bring his lute with them, shrugged, and then placed it on the sleigh that was already tied to the reindeer. The stables were quiet; no one was there apart from them, and the snow didn’t make a sound as it incessantly fell from the grey sky. Anna _was_ listening, but her brain couldn’t get a hold of Kristoff’s words, no matter how hard she tried. She kept on looking upwards at the clouds, at the snow. Her teal eyes, narrowed, couldn’t seem to avert their attention from the snowfall.

“But it wasn’t her fault!” Kristoff exclaimed, his cheeks red from all the movement and the cold. “Anyway, in the end neither of them was right, so…” he trailed off as he finally looked at Anna and noticed her absentmindedness. “Were you even listening to me?” he asked teasingly with a quiet chuckle.

Anna quickly turned towards him, her twin braids flying around her body and falling onto her chest. She blushed and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry,” she apologized with a hint of embarrassment. She raised her hand and turned it upwards. A snowflake delicately landed on her blue glove but the fact that it took almost one _minute_ for it to melt made Anna furrow her brows. “Isn’t this strange?”

“What is?” Kristoff queried, stepping closer and peering over her shoulder. Once his brown eyes looked at Anna’s palm, the snowflake had already melted.

Anna frowned. “Nothing,” she dismissed quietly as a subtle anxiety settled at the bottom of her stomach. December was about to end, the temperatures had never been so low; _that must be why the snow doesn’t melt right away_ , Anna reasoned. She took a deep breath then turned to Kristoff, a bright yet forced smile on her face.

“Ready to go?”

Kristoff stared blankly at her for a moment, before blinking and saying, “Yeah, sure.”

Kristoff didn’t ask any more questions during their outing. They talked about everything and nothing, and Anna had never felt more grateful than in this moment. When he had left her study that day, she had feared the worst. Luckily, although she knew, Kristoff was a good guy; he would _never_ leave her side, no matter what. Years ago, he had promised her he would _always_ be her best friend before everything else. And that was right what Anna needed; a best friend to lean on.

When they returned and crossed the bridge to the castle, Anna actually dreaded going back. Nothing but paperwork and trade agreements awaited her, and there was nothing fun about them. She sighed quietly but Kristoff noticed her distress.

“You okay there?”

Anna looked up at the almighty castle; the more time passed, the more this castle seemed to darken and creep her out. She swallowed. “Yeah.”

“Are you sure?” Kristoff pushed.

Anna turned towards him with a small smile. “It’s just—,” she sighed. “I have a lot of work to do. That’s all,” she replied. “And thank you, Kristoff. For today. And for everything you’ve done—,”

“Don’t start,” he warned her playfully. “You know that your happiness matters to me. And seeing you smile, hearing you laugh today was the best thing. I’m glad I could take your mind off work and make you happy, even for just a short time.”

Words like these shouldn’t tear her up; and yet, her eyes slightly filled with tears but she didn’t either let them fall or let Kristoff see her upset. Anna quickly pulled him in for a hug and let out a shaky breath.

“I’m so grateful for you,” she whispered. “I wish I could stop feeling like this. I wish I could stop feeling so numb to everything. Nothing makes sense anymore and I don’t know _where_ to go. I feel like I’m stuck in a field with _no_ way out and I’m just — everything around me grows and surpasses me and I’m just — left behind.”

Kristoff didn’t utter a word as he listened to her intently.

“I know I should move on and do the next right thing, but—,” she clenched her jaw as a tear escaped her eye. “—but I just — I can’t accept to live in a world where Elsa’s not here with me. I can’t — I can’t _live_ , or _breathe_ without her.”

Kristoff squeezed her forearms as he leaned away in order to look her in the eyes. There was hurt in his eyes and it was then that Anna realized; he wasn’t kidding when he had once told her that her pain was _his_ pain. “I know,” he sighed. “I wish I could take away your pain but I just — I don’t know how.”

Anna smiled through her tears as she let out a mirthless chuckle. “Just you being here with me is enough for me.”

Kristoff smiled tightly and then hugged her once more.

After the heart to heart nearby the stables, Anna finally faced reality and went back inside the castle while Kristoff retired for the night. It was late when she walked in her study, the clock nearing midnight. Her heart felt heavy as another dull, strenuous day was about to finish. Anna sluggishly walked towards her chair and plopped down unceremoniously. She stared at the unfinished trade agreements on the desk in front of her and sighed. Anna rubbed her reddened eyes; she hated crying. It made her feel weak and her eyelids were always heavy, making it difficult to keep them open. Listlessly, she picked up the paper and just before she could start reading the first few words, she heard commotion outside. Anna frowned, as she could clearly recognize Kai’s voice mingled with other male ones. He sounded distressed, condescending almost, and Anna stood up to find out why. Just as she opened the door of her study and stepped outside, she saw Kai, three guards — one of them was Mattias — one member of the council and lastly — _Was that an Arendellian civil?,_ Anna wondered — an old man standing at the end of the hallway. They seemed to be in the middle of a heated argument. But just as the stranger’s eyes caught Anna’s, he began to walk towards her, a wild look marring his face. Anna felt even more confused by the situation as the guards tried to stop him.

“— you can’t, Sir!”

“I just really need to talk to the Queen! I told you, it’s _important_!”

“—it can wait.”

“No, it can’t!”

Anna decided she had had enough. Mustering all the confidence in the world, she walked up to them with a powerful spring to her step. Even though she didn’t want to deal with this right now — she was _tired_ , she needed to finish at least three trade agreements, and she didn’t have enough energy in her to deal with angry civils just because—

“What’s going on here?”

Kai was the first to speak. “Your Majesty, this _rude_ civil—,”

“—your Majesty, it’s really important—,”

“—you are not allowed here—,”

“Enough!” Anna snapped. Everyone finally shut their mouth and Anna sighed exasperatedly. “General Mattias, let him go. Kai, it’s okay, just — what’s your name, sir?”

“Martin,” he replied, sounding almost out of breath. Mattias let his arms go and wore an uncertain frown as he stared at the man walk closer to the Queen. Kai folded his hands behind his back and watched the scene unfold before him with a neutral expression.

Anna looked Martin in the eyes, the knot in her stomach tightening as she noticed something in his grey eyes she hadn’t seen before; _hope._

“What has brought you here, Martin? What’s _wrong_?” Anna asked, her voice shaky.

Martin took a deep breath as he never averted his eyes from her teal ones.

Anna held her breath. And then, he spoke.

“Your Majesty, it’s about your _sister_.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHH I love cliffhangers heheh
> 
> Anyway, we're about to enter the next part of this story and I seriously can't wait! Please, don't forget to leave kudos and/or comments because it means a lot to me, really.
> 
> I love you guys and thank you so much for all the love you've given to this fic :)


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, but here is chapter 5! Don't forget to leave constructive criticism down below in the comment section and if you like the story, please leave kudos, it would really mean a lot to me :D
> 
> Thank you for reading guys.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Your Majesty, it’s about your sister.”

The moment Anna heard those words, the first twinkle of bittersweet hope flickered inside her quivering heart. Anna felt her breath hitch. She looked into the man’s grey eyes and searched for something that would give away the fact that he was making fun of her. When she found nothing, she swallowed every single positive emotion down her throat and shook her head firmly.

“My sister is dead,” she stated. Anna’s voice sounded foreign to her own ears; it was hallow, hoarse. Anna cursed the lump that blocked her throat. Even after two whole months, Elsa’s death was still an open wound that refused to heal.

“No,” the man denied, sounding so sure of his statement. “I swear—,” he looked between all of them. “—I was taking my donkey home and I always pass by the shore of the fjord. I swear that she’s _there_. I found her there but I didn’t dare to move too close, but, _please_ , your Majesty, I’m sure that was Queen Elsa’s body!”

Anna wanted to believe him. Heaven, how she wanted his words to be true. But it was not possible. Elsa had given her life for Arendelle; if they were here tonight, it was thanks to her. _If she had been alive, she would have come back home sooner_ , Anna thought. But then… _what if she couldn’t have?_

Anna tried to control her breathing. “Don’t lie to me,” she suddenly whispered, taking a step forward. Her fingers trembled. Her eyes stayed on the man standing in front of her. “Don’t _lie_ to me,” she repeated, sounding even more vulnerable than before.

“Sir,” Mattias stood beside her now, his voice collected. Even then, there was still a hint of panic. “Are you telling the _truth_?”

“Yes, I am!” the peasant exclaimed. “It’s queen Elsa’s body I have found, I am sure. I would recognize that braid anywhere, your Majesty.”

Anna stared blankly at him, silence engulfing the hallway with hope and despair. Could this be the moment she had been waiting for? In the back of her head, Anna heard Elsa’s lively laugh mingling with hers on a summer day. She saw every waking moment she had spent with her sister.

_Best birthday present ever._

Anna held her breath as she let everything sink in.

_Which one?_

Elsa was _alive_. She had come back. Come back to _her_. And if all this turned out to be false, she was sure she would never recover. Anna looked up at Mattias with a determined look burning inside her teal blue eyes.

_Letting me take care of you._

“Mattias,” she whispered. Somehow, without saying anything at all, the general understood perfectly what needed to be done. Mattias immediately nodded, placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, and gave orders to his soldiers.

Everything happened hastily. All around her was hazy, the voices distant, the lights almost too bright. The Queen let Mattias lead her to the stables. Suddenly, breathless, she was on a horse, her legs on either side of the animal’s chest. And then they were trotting, the horse beneath her letting out a loud neigh.

Anna got lost inside her mind. She let the harsh sound of hooves hitting the ground cuddle her, take her back in time. If that peasant spoke the truth, and he had really found Elsa nearby the shore, did that mean that Elsa was still alive? Was he really certain, or was Elsa’s body lifeless? Perhaps the strong tide of the Dark Sea, after she had died, had pushed her towards the shore, until she had finally reached Arendelle. Perhaps the body that awaited them didn’t really belong to her sister, but rather to a woman who looked a lot like Elsa.

Anna didn’t know what to think. How would she react, if at the shore she happened to hear Elsa’s voice, see Elsa’s ice blue eyes again? How would she react, if it had all be a lie?

Anna let the crisp breeze of the winter night caress her cheeks as she tried to hold onto the seemingly fleeting hope that was growing within her with each step her horse took forward.

_Promise me, we do this together, okay?_

The flag of Arendelle flapped in the wind.

_I promise._

“This way!” she heard the peasant’s voice exclaim, their horses finally coming to a halt. Anna’s boots touched the ground and in the distance she saw the slight glimmer of the surface of the water. Her body seemed to move on its own, the pace of her steps hurried and desperate as she run towards the shore.

_What would I do without you?_

Anna’s breath caught in her throat as she gasped loudly.

_You’ll always have me._

Following the peasant’s pointing finger, her teal blue eyes filled with stinging tears as she took in the sight of an unmoving body lying faced towards the sea. The platinum blonde hair was unmistakably Elsa’s; everything about the shape of this woman’s body — the hips, the waist, the feet, the shoulders, _everything_ — screamed Elsa. But could she _really_ be…?

“Elsa,” Anna whispered, hurriedly grasping her gown and eliminating the distance between her and the body. She unceremoniously dropped to her knees, uncaring of the fancy dress she was wearing, and felt the wet sand touch gently the skin of both her hands and calves. Anna’s fingers trembled as she hesitantly grazed the body’s shoulder. Then, holding her breath, she turned the woman towards her, until their back was against the sand.

Anna brought her hands up to her face and covered her mouth, cupping her chin as the sight beneath her felt like a thousand of knives stabbing her in the heart.

“Elsa!” she cried. Careless of the small crowd gathered around her, she recovered quickly from the shock and lunged forward. She hugged the still body of her sister, holding Elsa’s face close to her neck as she wept tears of joy and despair. Her sister’s skin was ice cold, unusually so, and she run her fingers through her wet blonde hair, just to make sure that this was real. That the body between her arms was real and not a figment of her imagination. “ _Elsa_ ,”

Anna held Elsa’s unresponsive body tighter, her sister’s feet hit gently by the soft and cold tide. The moon above shone bright, a witness to a reunion that Anna had never thought to be possible.

“Elsa,” Anna kept crying, basking in the feeling of Elsa’s forehead against hers as she pulled away from the embrace. Anna caressed her damp cheek, traced the outline of her lips, and smiled. “Elsa? Can you hear me?” she whispered.

Like a dream falling apart, the joyful feeling in her stomach vanished when Elsa didn’t open her eyes. Anna gently shook her shoulders, but her sister’s head only drooped from side to side. Anna’s smile turned into a panicked frown as her teal blue eyes never left Elsa’s unmoving features. “Elsa? _Elsa?!”_

She heard footsteps behind her but she paid them no mind. Her arm around Elsa’s back kept shaking the body of her sister, her right hand tightening around the slick fabric that clung to Elsa’s forearm.

“Elsa! Wake up, _please_! Wake up!”

“Your Majesty,” General Mattias was kneeling beside her, a hand on her shoulder. “We should bring her back to the castle. The maids will know what to do.”

“Elsa,” Anna kept whimpering, a tear finally streaming down her cheek. It was as if she hadn’t even heard the general’s voice. “Elsa, _please_ ,”

“Your Majesty,” Mattias tried once again. From the corner of her eye, she saw him glance at someone in front of them. Then, “Anna, come on. Let’s go back to the castle.”

The gentle whisper seemed to bring her back from her daze and she nodded absentmindedly. She swallowed the lump down her throat and took a deep breath. The left arm that had been previously draped over Elsa’s front now went beneath her knees, carrying her bridal style to a carriage that she hadn’t noticed before. Elsa’s body was unnaturally light in her arms, and she held her a little bit tighter when she remembered that night she had last held Olaf in her arms. How, one moment before, he was clinging to her arms as he flurried away, and then one moment later, his grip had loosened, his life withering with his creator.

When Anna sat down in the back of the carriage, she touched Elsa’s forehead and kissed it shortly after. The way back home felt longer than normal, and she couldn’t keep her eyes off her sister. Anna moved her face towards her chest and put her ear against her skin, near the collarbones. And then she heard _it._ A heartbeat. Feeble, slow, but a heartbeat nonetheless. Therefore the only possibility was that Elsa was sleeping, but sooner or later she would wake up. Right? _Right._

“Elsa,” she whispered. She hoped that her sister could hear her despite her unconscious state. Anna bit her lip to prevent the fall of other tears. “Elsa, I’ve got you. You’re _safe_ now. You’re going to be okay.”

She kissed Elsa’s cold forehead and then placed her chin on the top of her head, exhaling softly and deeply as she held even more tightly onto her.

—————————————————

Once at the castle, the moments that followed her entrance were a blur inside her hazy mind. The maids all let out a cry upon the sight of an unconscious — but _alive_ , she reminded herself — Elsa. They took her away from Anna’s arms and brought her up to what was once her bedroom. Anna tried to follow them, but before she could step through the threshold of Elsa’s chambers, Gerda halted in front of her.

“Your Majesty, we shall bathe Elsa and you should—,”

“Let me in,” Anna stated firmly. Her voice quivered with authority and desperation. She looked over the maid’s shoulders, an attempt to keep an eye on Elsa. The fact that she couldn’t see her drove her wild. “I said, _let me in_.”

“Your Majesty—,”

“I don’t care what has to be done, she’s my _sister_ and you can’t take her away from me now that I’ve found her!” she snapped. Anna didn’t mean to be so rude to one of her dearest maids, but everything was just — going _too far_. When Anna averted her eyes from Gerda’s shocked ones, the world started spinning and the sounds began to become distorted. The ground beneath her was slipping. The shake in her fingers and limbs — uncontrollable. She heard Gerda call out her name, her voice concerned, but Anna could not hear her. She felt her own heart explode inside her ribcage and she clutched the fabric that covered her chest. Anna began to sweat and she staggered back. In the midst of her ringing ears, she heard her own erratic breath — fast, shallow, _wild_.

Something, then, touched her shoulder. A male voice, a familiar one, but everything was still _so_ blurry and she could barely see, or hear, or feel. Dizzy, she closed her eyes, but what she saw only made it worse; Elsa’s barely breathing body in her arms, her skin cold.

When that same male voice spoke again, she began to hear words, as if she was about to break the surface of the water and her ears were just terribly clogged.

“Anna?”

Her eyes opened, slowly, and focused on the person in front of her. Anna reached out, unstable on her own feet, and gripped what she assumed were the man’s arms. _Muscular, strong, familiar._

“Anna?”

The sound of her name, along with a door being shut softly, finally were the last pieces that made everything go back to normal. The colors returned, her ears stopped ringing, and she could feel the soft leather beneath her hands, the heart beating beneath her dress, the oxygen freeing her depraved lungs.

“Anna, can you hear me? Are you okay?”

Anna’s lips moved faintly. “Kristoff,”

Kristoff seemed to inhale deeply, relief washing over him in waves. “Thank all the gods above,” he whispered. “You looked like you were about to be sick, or as if you were about to faint.”

Anna nodded absently, the world around her still feeling absurd. _Elsa is alive. Elsa is alive. Elsa is alive. Elsa. Elsa._ Her mind reeled and she couldn’t seem to put a stop to her thoughts, which only consisted of her sister.

“Let’s get you out of here, where you can have some fresh—,”

“No!” she exclaimed. “I need to be here,” she said. Only then did she realize just how out of breath she was. “I need to be here in case she wakes up. I can’t be elsewhere. I don’t _want_ to be elsewhere, please.”

“Anna,” Kristoff said with a concerned gaze. “You’re freaking out. You’re overwhelmed. I get it, but you—,”

“No!”

Anna broke free from Kristoff’s firm grip around her shoulders and walked away from him. However, she walked no more than five steps. Her legs shook and she was still _so_ dizzy — when did the world start spinning?

“Anna!”

She collapsed against the nearest wall, her breath uneven and her _heart_ — _is this what a heart attack feels like?_ , Anna wondered. She slid against the wall and sat down, her chest hurting, her _whole_ body hurting as it quivered with tremors. Anna closed her eyes and she felt like she was going to be sick.

“Anna? Hey, hey, you’re okay,” she heard Kristoff’s comforting — and worried — voice. She felt him sit down beside her, their legs touching as he gently pulled her to his chest. Anna gasped, gripping his forearms as if her whole life depended on it. She buried her head in his chest and breathed in his familiar woodsy scent. “You’re okay. You’re safe,” he whispered against her ear.

Then, the dam broke, and when the first tear fell, there was no stopping the others as they relentlessly chased the first one down her reddened cheeks. As Anna wept, she felt all the tension inside her body flow through her, making her soul hum in appreciation even though the hallway filled with her painful loud sobs. Kristoff kept whispering sweet nothings in her ear, as if he knew that without his voice, Anna would feel lost.

Kristoff didn’t know for how long Anna kept weeping her sister’s finding. He knew, though, that at some point, her cries turned into soft sniffles, and then they became nothing more than a slight tremor that shook her body every now and then. He kept caressing her hair and freed it from the intricate bun she had worn all day. At some point, he released a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, as the realization hit him all at once; Elsa was _alive_. Anna’s only sister and source of happiness was _alive_. Anna would soon stop hurting, would soon stop grieving, and she would — hopefully — go back to the chirpy woman he had once fell in love with. Kristoff held Anna’s sleeping form tighter and kissed the crown of her head. He listened to her soft breathing until a few feet away, the door to Elsa’s bedroom quietly opened. Gerda came out and the first thing she saw was Kristoff sitting against the wall with the Queen’s frail and unconscious body held between his strong arms. The maid offered him a smile.

“How is she? Is Elsa awake?” Kristoff whispered, not wanting to rouse Anna from her much needed sleep.

Gerda smiled sadly. “No, not yet,” she replied. The maid lovingly gazed at the sleeping queen. “Elsa seems to be in need of a lot of rest. Her body has obviously gone through a lot, even though we don’t know what exactly, but she’s weak and really thin,” Gerda sighed. “I really hope that she will be okay.”

Kristoff let an optimistic smile grace his face. “She’ll be okay,” he said quietly. He looked down at Anna then. His smile grew.

“ _They_ will both be okay.”

———————————————

When Anna woke up, the sky awoke with her.

The Northern Lights shone brightly outside her window and as she dazedly looked around, she recognized the dressing area of her bedroom and the painting of the Arendelle castle that hung on the wall beside it. Anna blinked various times and when she fully woke up, she noticed Kristoff sitting on a chair to her right. His features were pensive, his brown and lost eyes too busy admiring the crackling fire on the hearth across him. Anna spent a full minute staring at him, a weak smile forming on her lips.

“Kristoff?”

When she spoke, her hoarse voice cracked horribly and she cleared her throat. Kristoff sprang to his feet when he noticed that his friend was finally awake. “Anna,” he breathed, sitting beside her supine form. He hesitantly reached for her hand. “How are you feeling?”

Anna frowned. “I don’t know,” she admitted honestly. “Where is Elsa? Is she awake?” she asked quickly. Then, as an afterthought, she added, “I need to see her,” before trying to stand up from her canopy bed.

“Hey!” Kristoff exclaimed, immediately grabbing Anna by the shoulders and pushing her down. Anna groaned impatiently but when she tried to fight him, she realized just how weak she truly felt. “You need to rest. You had a meltdown last night. You shouldn’t overwork yourself.”

Anna slumped against the headboard and sighed, obviously irritated. “Can you at least tell me where she is?”

Kristoff blinked and stared neutrally at her. “They took Elsa to her bedroom. They bathed her with warm water since she was so cold — even though, you know, the cold never bothered her — and then they took her back to her chambers. She has yet to wake up.”

The last information saddened Anna as her shoulders slouched forward. “Why isn’t she waking up? I mean — I heard her heartbeat on the carriage, so she’s not — she _can’t_ be—,”

“Anna,” Kristoff placed a hand on her tense shoulder. “Slow down,” a hint of a smile graced his lips. “I know you are worried, but have faith. We don’t know what she went through for the past _two_ months. We don’t even know where she’s been all this time! But at least — let’s just be happy that we’ve found her, and that she’s alive, alright? She will wake up. I _know_ she will,”

Anna looked up at him with an uncertain flicker inside her teal eyes. “Do you really think that?” she asked quietly. Kristoff’s smile fell slightly upon hearing Anna’s clearly emotional voice.

“I would never lie to you,” he said just as quietly. Anna looked down at her hands folded on her lap and sighed. Now that she knew about Elsa’s state and whereabouts, she felt like she could breathe — just slightly, though. They had yet to be out of the woods. Elsa had yet to wake up. Fiddling with her fingers, she thought about how ice cold Elsa’s skin had felt against them and then — _wait_. An idea popped into her head.

“Kristoff, do you think that the trolls could have a solution to Elsa’s unconscious state? Maybe they know how to wake her up,” she asked, voice hopeful.

Kristoff seemed to be deep in thought. “I don’t know, Anna,” he replied, sounding unsure. “Maybe,” he shrugged. “Why do you ask that?”

“It’s just that — her skin was cold and — the last time we spoke to each other was before she went to Ahtohallan, and that is a river — which means that maybe—,” she raised her shoulders, not knowing how to make sense of her idea. “—maybe the temperature of the water was so low that—,” she sighed. “I don’t know, I just thought that maybe, you know, in order to wake her up, we should follow the advice that Pabbie had given to us three years ago, when Elsa struck me with her powers,”

Kristoff seemed to be on the same page as hers, seemed to understand her train of thoughts as he slowly asked, “You mean, ‘an act of true love—,”

“can thaw a frozen heart’, yes,” Anna finished. A hopeful smile lifted the corner of her lips.

Kristoff cleared her throat. “I mean — it could work out, yeah. But how can we do that?”

Anna suddenly blushed. “I think that — since she was the one to thaw my heart three years ago—,”

“—that you are her true love?” Kristoff asked, a slight smirk upturning his lips.

Anna looked down at her fingers and didn’t dare to meet her friend’s gaze. “Yeah,” she felt flames on her cheeks and she shifted uncomfortably beneath the sheets. “I don’t know, it’s stupid, never mind—,”

“No, no,” Kristoff quickly interrupted. “Maybe it can work out,” he confessed with a hopeful smile. “Although I don’t know what act of true love you could do to thaw her heart,”

Anna pondered. “Well, she hugged me while weeping and—,”

“Isn’t that what happened at the shore?”

Anna glared at him even though she wasn’t really offended. “Yes,” she mumbled.

“Sorry,” Kristoff apologized with a lopsided smile. “I didn’t mean to offend you,”

Anna sighed. “It’s okay,” she looked up at him and then smiled weakly. “I think that — I’ll just think about what to do. What act of true love I can do to, you know, thaw her heart even though she’s not truly frozen,”

Kristoff stood up from his chair and grinned. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” he caressed her cheek once Anna was fully lying with her back against the mattress, cuddled comfortably beneath the blankets. When he withdrew his hand, his smile got bigger. “Now, try to get some rest.”

Anna stared lazily at him. The fire of the hearth cast a shadow on his masculine features. “I’ll try,” she replied with a meaningful smile, one that was not forced. Anna watched him go, smiled at him once again, before listening to the door closing behind him. Then, she rolled on her side, tucked one hand beneath the pillow and rested the other on top of the sheets. Anna stared at the Northern Lights, as if they would give her the answer to her one question.

What act of _true love_ could she possibly do to _thaw_ Elsa’s heart and wake her up?


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One single thing for this chapter: Elsanna. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

**STANDING** before the door to Elsa’s chambers, Anna stared pensively at the seemingly innocuous doorknob. Exactly four days had passed since Elsa’s finding. December had melted into January, and snow kept falling incessantly from the cloudy sky. However, Anna had noticed two days prior, that this wasn’t casual or normal snow; it was Elsa’s. The flakes glimmered with that peculiar sparkle that only Elsa’s ice magic could convey to her creations. Anna didn’t know whether it was a good or bad sign. Elsa had yet to wake up and Anna had spent every waking moment thinking about that act of True Love that could wake her sister up. Nothing seemed right; it was actually driving her crazy. But she ought to do something. Whatever that something was.

And that _something_ ended up being physical affection. Her mind came up with nothing but that. She would shower Elsa with love because that was what she felt toward her sister. Innocent and completely platonic love could be considered an act of True Love, she reasoned for the hundredth time that day. Anna took a deep breath and finally turned the doorknob, entering Elsa’s bedchamber. She had visited her sister a few times, but the more she had looked at her sleeping face, the more she had felt desperate to do something, to come up with a solution.

Now, it wasn’t so much different. Elsa’s unconscious form is lying beneath the deep purple blankets, everything covered by the sheets up to her collarbones except her limp arms. Anna lingered by the door, staring at her sister for a moment before taking in her surroundings. Strangely enough, a fire was lit inside the hearth across the bed. The curtains were drawn, giving her a perfect view of the snow falling outside. It was rather late, almost midnight, but now that Anna was here, the exhaustion she had felt earlier disappeared magically.

“Hello, your Majesty,” Gerda curtseyed slightly, smiling softly at the young queen. Anna hesitantly walked in the room, leaving the door ajar.

“Hi, Gerda,” she said gently. Anna wrung her hands and glanced back and forth between the maid and her sister. “How is she?” she asked quietly, as if speaking too loudly would disturb Elsa’s sleep.

“She’s okay,” Gerda replied, speaking with the same hushed tone. She moved closer to the bed and then caressed Elsa’s forehead. “She seems content, your Majesty. Sometimes—,” Gerda looked back at her with a small smile, as she recounted, “—she has this little smile, as if she’s constantly dreaming of happy scenarios. I don’t think she’s hurting.”

Anna swallowed and she tentatively neared the bed. She stood two feet away, her fingers still interlaced. “Well, it would be better if she woke up, wouldn’t it?” she asked rhetorically. Gerda only smiled sadly at Elsa, then nodded slowly.

“We all miss her dearly,” she commented.

Anna felt a pang of nostalgia squeeze her heart. She ignored it flawlessly, quickly clearing her throat and, “Um, Gerda?”

Her high pitched voice immediately drew the maid’s attention towards her. “Yes, your Majesty?”

Anna stared into her kind eyes, before nervously asking, “Could you, erm, leave me and my sister alone for a bit?”

Gerda thought nothing of her request and nodded gently. “Of course, your Majesty.”

She planted a quick kiss on Elsa’s forehead, caressed her cheek and then walked out of the room, complying Anna’s wishes. Then, for the first time in months, she was _finally_ alone with her sister. Anna stared at the view that the window offered, before slowly casting her gaze on her sister’s form. She took a deep and shaky breath, as if bracing herself for what was to come. Then, she shuffled towards the canopy bed, and without thinking twice, she lied on her side next to her supine sister. With hesitation coursing through her veins, she moved closer until her front rested gently against the side of Elsa’s arm. For a moment, she listened to the crackling of the fire, the logs burning almost as fiercely as Anna’s heart inside her ribcage. _I shouldn’t be this nervous_ , Anna observed. She almost felt embarrassed, but, _I haven’t seen her in a while, of course I’m nervous_ , she reasoned seconds later. Then, her right hand reached out to get a hold of Elsa’s arm, her quivering fingers wrapping around her elbow and her thumb caressing the hallow in the middle of her arm. The skin was cold, but Elsa’s always been cold. She was also soft, but — Elsa’s _always_ been soft.

Anna lowered her gaze to her sister’s chest, getting transfixed with its slow movement. With each beat of her heart, her chest rose and her nose inhaled. Then, a beat later, it fell and her nose exhaled. For long minutes, Anna listened to the faint sound of Elsa’s soft breathing pattern, an anchor that kept her boat of hope afloat. Then, Anna finally sighed and shuffled even closer. _Shower her with love. Show her physical affection. You’re a pro at that, come on_ , she prodded her own self.

Slowly, Anna threw a leg over Elsa’s and let go of her grip around her elbow, wrapping her arm around Elsa’s abdomen instead. She breathed in Elsa’s familiar scent — lavender, snow, _winter_ — and then cuddled close. Anna shut her eyes and rubbed her nose against Elsa’s cheek, her own heart beating wildly against her ribcage. She had never been this close to her sister before; they have cuddled sometimes, to make up for lost time, but never like _this_. The entirety of Anna’s body was touching Elsa’s, and all of Anna’s nerves were electrified by the physical contact.

The arm wrapped around her sister tightened, her fingers gripping the side of Elsa’s abdomen. Against her flat palm, she felt the steady rise and fall, and somehow it gave her comfort.

Without thinking, she started speaking, pouring out her heart in hushed whispers.

“You have no idea how much I have missed you, Elsa,” she said. Her breath tickled the skin right below Elsa’s jaw. “I missed talking to you, holding you. I miss seeing your face down the hallway. I _miss_ your voice and your eyes and your magic. I miss your kindness and your shyness. I just miss _everything_ about you, my dear sister,” she briefly opened her eyes before closing them again. Even though Elsa could control ice and snow, right in this moment she was the warmest person ever. And no amount of fires could warm Anna up like her sister. “My life has been terrible without you, but these past four days, even though — you’re not awake yet — it has been okay. You’re here and you make everything better.”

Then, Anna opened her eyes again. But this time, she used her left arm as leverage as she propped it up and rested her weight on her elbow. Her copper braids fell to the sides and she looked down at Elsa’s calm visage. Gerda was right; she had this small, almost invisible, smile that turned the corners of her mouth upwards. _She’s so beautiful_ , Anna thought breathlessly. Without realizing it, her hand had gone from gripping Elsa’s hip to softly caress her abdomen, and even though the blankets were between her touch and Elsa’s body, she still blushed deeply.

Anna smiled brightly as she kept on staring at Elsa’s sleeping face. She sighed wistfully and then whispered, “I love you, Elsa. I wish I could hear you say it _back_ to me one last time,”

Then, ever so slowly, she leaned in only to halt mere centimeters away from Elsa’s face. She basked in the simple feeling of Elsa’s warm breath against her cheeks and, _involuntarily_ , her eyes flitted down to Elsa’s thin and full lips. She remembered what one troll had said to her three years ago. _A true love’s kiss, perhaps?_ — but Anna quickly got rid of that thought as soon as it came. She _couldn’t_ kiss Elsa. At least, not on the mouth. Anna blinked rapidly, blushing even more now. She opted for a gentle kiss on the cheek, painfully near the corner of Elsa’s lips. She lingered there and closed her eyes, her own puckered lips putting pressure against the soft skin beneath her mouth. _You can’t just kiss her on the mouth, stupid!_ , she chided herself. _For all you know, she still has to give her first kiss. And you don’t want to_ steal _her first kiss._ Anna felt her cheeks burn as she planted various kisses on Elsa’s face. On her cheeks, on her nose, on her forehead, and lastly, on each eyelid. She brought her hand close to her sister’s face and let her knuckles caress her cheekbones, where faint constellations of freckles sparkled against the pale and porcelain skin. Anna waited for a moment. _Why isn’t she waking up?_ She had kissed every inch of Elsa’s face, save for her lips because — _reasons_. But if an act of True Love was the one thing that would wake her up, then, why is she _still_ sleeping? Moments passed by, perhaps minutes went by, and Anna’s frown began to deepen as not even a muscle on Elsa’s visage twitched or moved. _She’s still sleeping._ Anna felt disappointment begin to pool at the bottom of her stomach. And the more time passed, the more it spread throughout her body like a deathly infection. She realized that she had gotten her hopes up because that was how she was. A naturally optimistic soul, who saw the good and bright side in everything, whose love was not enough for such a small world.

Elsa didn’t move, nor did she blink. Her plan turned out to be unsuccessful and she felt so discouraged by the outcome that she couldn’t bear to stay any longer. First, she had embarrassed herself with those inappropriate thoughts and intentions. Now, she had made a fool of herself. _Just because she’s alive, doesn’t mean that she will ever wake up,_ her thoughts began to darken. _Maybe she will sleep for the rest of her life until her last breath. And then she will leave me. Again. Permanently._

Anna sighed quietly, stroking her thumb along Elsa’s cheek. She accidentally caressed her bottom lip and she immediately drew back, as if she had been electrified. _I am of no use here. I have to get out._ Anna got out of bed as quickly as she could. Without sparing her sister another glance, she crossed the room with three strides and opened the door. As soon as she was out in the hallway, she walked as far away as possible from Elsa's bedchamber. Along the way to her bedroom, she saw Gerda go back inside to her sister — Elsa was never alone — and then stumbled upon Kristoff before she could even reach her own room and retreat for the night. _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. What a terrible idea._

“Hey — how did it go?”

Anna sighed impatiently and didn’t meet her friend’s eyes. “Nothing happened,” she muttered.

“What?” Kristoff asked, not quite catching her reply.

“Nothing happened, okay? It didn’t work. She’s still sleeping,” she explained, a hint of frustration and embarrassment present in her voice.

“Oh,” Kristoff’s shoulders sagged. “I’m sorry,” he said apologetically, as if it was his fault.

“It’s okay,” she shrugged. “I just—,” she sighed. “I really thought it would work. I mean—,” she didn’t finish her sentence, because, what was there to say?

“Well, you know that Grand Pabbie agreed with you. He said that an act of True Love _could_ wake her up, that it was our best chance.”

“Then, why isn’t it working?” Anna asked, as if Kristoff could know the answer. Her aggravated voice slightly echoed in the hallway, empty save for them. “I just want her to _wake up_.”

Kristoff offered her a sorry smile, wishing he could help his friend but not knowing how. “Well, you’re sure you have done a real act of True Love?”

“I—,” Anna paused. Then blushed. “I did,” she replied, although sounding a bit unsure.

“You hesitated.”

“No, I didn’t!” Anna defended herself, her blush deepening as Kristoff raised one suspicious eyebrow. “I—I mean, I didn’t know exactly what to do, but I figured physical attention would be a great enough act of true love, right? So, I just, erm, we cuddled and then I kissed her face various times—,” as Kristoff’s eyebrows almost disappeared beneath his blonde hair and his lips formed a smile, her cheeks turned even redder. “—and then, I don’t know, she didn’t wake up, I was frustrated because, you know me, I don’t have _that_ kind of patience, so I just—I just _left_ because I didn’t feel like staying. But I waited. I _swear_ I did. I waited and waited but nothing happened. Yes. Nothing happened. Absolutely _nothing_ ,” she rambled.

Kristoff was about to make a funny retort, a slight teasing smirk on his face, but then they were interrupted by—

“Your Majesty! Your Majesty!”

Anna turned around, her brows furrowed in confusion. She was greeted by the sight of a smiling Gerda, _running_ down the hallway towards her. The maid stopped a few feet away from them, her body slightly turned towards the direction she came from.

_What?_ Anna didn’t have enough time to think—

“Gerda, what are you—,” she began. But then Gerda interrupted.

“Your Majesty, come. Elsa is asking _for_ you.”

Anna felt her own heart stop. “Elsa?” she asked in a whisper. “She is _awake_?”

Gerda’s smile was even brighter now. “Yes, your Majesty,” she quickly replied with a nod. “Now, come. We don’t want to keep your sister waiting.”

A few seconds was the amount of time that took for them to reach Elsa’s bedchamber. Anna burst through the door first, and when she looked in the direction of the bed—

“Is it really you?” Anna asked.

Elsa’s lips parted in a timid smile, her arms opening, _inviting_ Anna for a hug. “Anna,”

The way Elsa uttered her name broke down all of Anna’s walls, as the queen rushed forward and crushed Elsa in a tight embrace. She heard herself sob and weep like a toddler, her whole body shaking against her sister’s form. Elsa held her tighter and Anna had never felt so comfortable and safe in falling apart. She buried her nose in the crook of her sister’s neck, the platinum blonde hair tickling her cheeks, but she didn’t mind, because Elsa was _awake._ She was here, holding her — rubbing her hands along her back, her breath against her neck, her heartbeat against Anna’s. Elsa was _alive_. This was all she’s ever wanted. All she’s ever dreamed of.

“Oh, _Elsa_ ,” she cried, feeling her sister’s breathy laugh against her cheek as Elsa pulled away slightly, enough to cup her face with one cold hand.

Nothing prepared Anna for the moment that came after. When Anna finally looked at her sister’s face, the first thing she stumbled upon was the crystal clear color of her cerulean eyes, which shone with tears of utter joy as they gazed deeply into Anna’s teal ones. Anna felt her breath hitch in her throat as she firmly held her stare. “Hi,” Elsa whispered, smiling broadly, the hand by Anna’s waist drawing invisible circles. Anna held onto Elsa’s shoulder blades as her cries turned into soft sniffles.

“Elsa,” she mumbled, her voice hoarse.

Her sister quietly chuckled. “That’s me,” she teased. Anna let out a noise that was a mixture of a sob and a laugh.

“I thought I’d lost you,” Anna confessed, gripping Elsa’s shoulders more tightly.

“But I’m here,” Elsa said softly, her voice soothing and comforting. Anna closed her eyes as their foreheads touched. “And you saved me. _Again._ ”

Anna nodded, the action causing more tears to slide down the slope of her cheeks. “I love you,” she whispered.

Elsa nuzzled her nose. “I love you, too, sis.”

Anna enveloped her in another embrace, not growing tired of the feeling of Elsa’s arms around her back, of feeling Elsa’s strong lithe body instead of limp limbs.

When they broke apart, Anna let Kristoff greet her sister, the two sharing a brief hug. Then, Gerda regarded the both of them with a fond look, her voice soft as she announced, “We will leave you two alone.”

With the look within her teal eyes, Anna thanked the maid silently. When the door shut and they were finally alone, this time _both_ awake, Anna turned towards Elsa and smiled. Her cheeks were almost sore but she decided that there were worse things in the world.

“I’m so happy you’re alive,” Anna whispered. She felt like crying again, but she took a deep breath and hoped that that was enough to stop her lacrimal duct. It turned out that it wasn’t, in fact, enough, and soon her face scrunched up as another wave of tears streamed down her reddened cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she cried.

“Hey,” Elsa soothed. “It’s okay. You can cry, but not too much otherwise I will start crying, too,” Elsa joked, making Anna giggle. She grabbed her sister’s hand and squeezed. Anna stared at their intertwined hands as Elsa’s pale fingers drew figures on the skin of her wrist. When Anna finally managed to compose herself, she looked up and met her sister’s gaze.

“We have a lot to talk about,” she said with a hint of mirth.

“Good thing I have nothing to do now, then,” Elsa chuckled.

Anna giggled and felt the weight of the world leave both her shoulder and her heart. “Stinker,” she mumbled under her breath, sharing an affection and longing gaze with her sister.

“Come here,” Elsa laid back against the headboard and patted the space next to her. Anna gladly cuddled up by her side, placing her head against her shoulder and wrapping an arm around her abdomen. She felt a blush cover her cheeks as she thought of what she had _almost_ done less than five minutes ago. Luckily for her, Elsa started speaking just as her right hand began to trail a path of caresses along her right forearm. “First of all, how long was I gone for?”

“Almost two months and a half,” she said quietly. “The worst of my life,” she admitted as an afterthought.

Elsa squeezed her and Anna felt the weight of her head on top of hers as Elsa placed her cheek against the crown of Anna’s head. The queen distracted herself by playing with the end of Elsa’s single braid.

“Hm,” Elsa hummed. “Well, I have to tell you something and I don’t know if you’ll believe me,”

Anna furrowed her brows and slightly sat up in order to look into her sister’s cerulean eyes. She shifted uncomfortably, her green nightgown rubbing against the soft material of the blankets. “Go on,” she said gently.

Elsa took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay,” she began, looking at an invisible point beyond Anna’s shoulders while simultaneously playing with a button of her own purple nightgown. “I know that you and the people and the _whole_ kingdom thought that I was dead. I was, but I also _wasn’t_. I know it’s weird, and complicated, but when I died, it was because I had gone too far and I had reached the deepest level of Ahtohallan — which, by the way, is a glacier — and I died—,” she paused, briefly meeting Anna’s eyes. “—I died the same way you died three years ago. I was _completely_ frozen. From head to toe. But it was like — I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move nor speak, but I wasn’t—,”

“Dead,” Anna finished for her. “I know,” she nodded, sadly. “I get that feeling,”

Elsa blushed and looked away. “Right,” she mumbled. “Well, from that moment on, it was like I could see everything. I was there, frozen, but it was as if — as if I was with you, some way. Like, I was with you spiritually, like a ghost. I saw you break the dam with the help of the Giants. I saw you and Kristoff going back to Arendelle. I saw — your coronation day, and everything that happened after that,” a compassionate look crossed Elsa’s face just as one of realization crossed Anna’s. “Anna, I saw your _pain_. I was a witness to your sleepless nights and tear stained cheeks. I saw you break into million pieces, and despite that, you were still _unbreakable_. No matter how much weight my _death_ put on your shoulders, you still held on day after day and I just—,” Elsa tried to meet her gaze but Anna was unable to look into her eyes. Elsa let out a faint sigh that was a mixture between pity and sadness. She reached out and touched Anna’s neck, right where her pulse point thudded against her skin. Anna tried to move away, knowing to which night Elsa was referring to, and bit her lip. “I admire your _strength_ , Anna. You’re resilient. You keep fighting every day and you never stop being a _warrior_ , not even when your fears and your weaknesses scream louder than your thoughts,”

Anna heard her own breath echo between them as she timidly and hesitantly met her sister’s gaze. With misty eyes, she admitted quietly, “I’m sorry you had to see me at my lowest point,” she closed her eyes, feeling the aftertaste of the shame she had felt that night she almost gave up.

“ _I_ am sorry you had to go through that _alone._ But I’m _eternally_ grateful that you didn’t give up that night, even though you were really tempted to.”

Anna nodded and managed to smile warmly at Elsa. “That night,” she harkened back to that moment. “I felt like there was something holding me back. Was it you?”

Elsa smiled. “I know it sounds _crazy_ and impossible, but — yes. Yes, it was _me_ ,” she confessed. “The more I watched you suffer, the more I felt useless. I wish I could have done something more tangible. I wish I could have given you more hope to hold onto. But I was powerless. I was caged inside that frozen statue and could do nothing but _see_ you suffer and wither like a beautiful flower.”

“But,” Anna furrowed her brows. She held onto one of Elsa’s hands. “Now you’re back. _How?_ How did you manage to break free?”

Elsa sighed and looked away. “That, I don’t know,” she confessed sadly. “It’s really blurry. One moment before, I could see you and hear you and everything, and then the moment later it was just — it was absolute darkness. I felt numb. I knew I wasn’t frozen anymore, but I don’t know how I broke free. I just — I felt myself falling and then — the waters must have brought me here. I don’t really know what happened after I thawed.”

“Hm,” Anna mumbled absentmindedly. She took in everything and felt slightly lightheaded. The fact that Elsa had never _truly_ died nor left her side was both terrifying and comforting. But now she was here, she had come back to her, and she surely wasn’t going to complain. Even though not everything about Elsa’s finding made sense — _this_ actually slightly unsettled her — at least everything was back to normal.

Anna looked back at Elsa with a bright grin. “It _is_ crazy, all of this, but — you know, it’s okay after all. All that matters to me is that you’re back and we’re together and—,”

“—everything will be okay,” Elsa finished for her. “I promise,”

Their foreheads touched and Anna gazed deeply into her sister’s eyes. She nodded, taking a deep breath and squeezing Elsa’s hand.

They changed the subject, after everything had been explained by Elsa, and talked about everything and nothing. And when noticing the late hour, they eventually decided to call it a night. Anna didn’t leave the bed, and Elsa didn’t make any objections. They had spent _too much_ time apart. And even though now they were back together, Anna still didn’t feel safe enough to leave Elsa’s side, even if it would be for just one single night.

They got comfortable beneath the blankets, the lights out except for the stars outside. Anna cuddled up to Elsa’s supine form, their legs intertwined and their arms around each other. With Elsa’s hand gripping her shoulder and her other arm around her waist, Anna had never felt so safe in her entire life. She felt content, elated even, as she snuggled even closer to her sister. Anna felt slightly _cold_ , but Elsa was _warm_.

“Can you promise me something, Elsa?” Anna whispered in the night. Elsa held on tight to her little sister.

“Of course,” Elsa pulled her closer, if it was even possible.

Anna listened to her heartbeat and sighed happily. “Promise me that whatever happens, we will be together.”

Anna felt Elsa’s eyes on her but she wasn’t bold enough to meet them. Then, Elsa replied just as quietly, softly, “I _promise_.”

It was then, that Anna closed her eyes and fell asleep with a smile on her lips, that single vow chasing away all her inner demons.


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is longer than the others but on the bright side, buckle up guys: the icest is coming, so if you don't like it, simply don't read it. This is your last warning ;)
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think in the comments, and don't forget to leave kudos!
> 
> Thank you all for reading :)

**NOW** that Elsa was back, Anna’s life seemed to be void of any sadness or problems. Days spent inside her study were less stressful now that her sister was there to help her with the paperwork. Council meetings almost seemed fun now that she got the chance to stare at Elsa do what she did best; be composed, and elegant. Be _royal_. Arendelle thrummed with life and it never seemed to die, not even at night. The people were joyful and they were grateful not only for the reunion of the royal sisters, but also for the fact that they had _two_ queens now instead of just _one_. And after weeks of witnessing Anna’s pain and hardships, they were delighted whenever they caught a glimpse of her happiness, which seemed to know no limits now that Elsa was back.

January turned into February and in no time at all, March was beginning and with it, spring. Fresh green, soft pinks, warm yellows; they were everywhere. On the trees, the flowers, on the grass, in the sky when the sun was either setting or rising. And the colors of the spring were on Anna’s dresses, on Elsa’s details to her ice creations, on the tasteful foods they ate and on the bubbly wines they drank.

Anna was enjoying a day out on the gardens of Arendelle, lying with her back on the grass. The occasional rays of light filtering through the shadow provided by the branches of the tree illuminated the serene features of her still young visage and she sighed wistfully as she kept staring at the clouds above the land. They moved leisurely and Anna kept coming up with different objects and animals that she could attribute to their shapes.

“Hey Anna!”

Anna sat up quickly upon the sound of her quirky friend’s voice. “Olaf!”

With Elsa, Olaf also came back. The day Anna finally reunited with her best friend, she had hugged him so close that, for the first time in forever, he had told her to let him go because _apparently_ he couldn’t breathe. Anna had cried in her sister’s embrace, thanking her profusely for bringing the little snowman back. She had missed him dearly.

“What are you doing out here alone?”

Anna smiled and shrugged happily. “Oh, you know, enjoying the spring breeze,” she replied. Olaf sat beside her and looked at her with his black coal eyes. Anna’s smile only grew bigger.

“This reminds me,” Olaf began as he lied down against the fresh grass. Anna soon joined him. “Of the last time we hung out together before leaving for the Enchanted Forest. Do you remember?”

Anna folded her arms beneath her head. “Of course I do,” she replied with a pensive grin. “I remember feeling so happy that day,” she recalled.

“Oh, me too!” Olaf exclaimed with enthusiasm. “Although I was also tormented by philosophical questions.”

Anna chuckled and regarded him with a teasing smile. “How’s the reading?”

“It’s all good, all good,” he snickered. “I’m getting better every day! Elsa said that she’s really proud of me,”

The mention of her sister immediately made Anna blush. Now that Elsa was back, Anna noticed that whenever they spent time together she couldn’t seem to stop thinking about how beautiful she was. The terrible need to hold her hand would always get the best of her and even when their hands were linked, it almost felt like it wasn’t enough. Somehow, Anna wanted, no, _needed_ to be closer. Holding hands, hugging, sometimes sleeping in the same bed; it wasn’t enough. And yet, Anna didn’t know _how_ to fulfill her desire to be closer and to _feel_ closer to Elsa.

“I’m proud of you too, Olaf.”

Olaf rolled over and hugged her with his twig arms, his hold around her body strong and firm, as if he didn’t want to let her go. Anna held him just as tightly and closed her eyes, wishing they could stay like this forever. She remembered how she had had similar thoughts the day before leaving for the Enchanted Forest, back to last November, but she knew that now things were different. No matter what problem should arise, Anna knew that she and Elsa would face it _together_. This time, with no one leaving behind no one.

Olaf broke the hug and then went back to staring at the clouds above. “Do you ever wish you could be and feel as carefree as those clouds?”

Anna looked at him for a moment. “Sometimes, I do. But other times, it’s good not to be free. Impulsive people like me need restrictions for a reason, Olaf.”

He scratched the back of his head made of magical snow as he seemed to ponder over her response. “I think that being free is awesome. You literally have nothing to hold you back! Like the clouds. The sky is limitless and the wind brings them wherever it wants. Isn’t that great?”

Anna smiled wistfully. “Freedom brings mistakes too, Olaf.”

Olaf’s enthusiasm ebbed and he frowned soundly. “Well, mistakes are stupid.”

Anna chuckled. “They teach us something, though. They might be painful at times, but they’re incredibly useful when it comes to lessons one has to learn.”

Olaf was about to reply when a female voice called out Anna’s name. They both sat up and Anna tried to control her blush when she saw Elsa standing a few feet away from them, the sight of Arendelle beautiful behind her. “Hey, Elsa,”

“Elsa, hi!” Olaf threw his twig arms up in the air, his voice cheerful. “I was wondering, do you ever wish you could be as carefree as the clouds?” he asked with enthusiasm. Clearly, Anna’s answer had not satisfied him.

Anna shook her head and snorted. Elsa only seemed confused, adorably so. “Erm—,”

“Don’t mind him, sis,” Anna waved him off. “I already answered that with some hard truth and he doesn’t want to accept that.”

“Hey, not true!” Olaf complained. “I just want to hear what Elsa has to say.”

Anna stood up to her full weight and rubbed her hands against the back of her green dress. “She probably agrees with me.”

“Well? What do you think?” Olaf prodded.

Elsa stumbled over her words. “Well, erm, I don’t know. I think freedom is great but at the same it could be problematic.”

“See? I told you that she agrees with me.”

Olaf shook his head and pinched the bridge of his carrot nose. “You two are no fun,” he mumbled. He feigned frustration but it was clear that he was just messing with them. “I’m going to go talk to Sven. He might be the only one who gets me these days,” he joked.

The sisters laughed and watched him skip down the side of the cliff, back to the city and headed to the stables. When they were finally alone, Anna and Elsa turned towards each other at the same time. Anna blushed as she felt her fingertips itch, as if they longed for Elsa’s. _Why do I want to hold her hand so badly?_ , she wondered. Fortunately, Elsa didn’t seem to catch on her inner debate or her evident blush, and spoke calmly. “I need to discuss a matter with you, Anna,” she started, voice serious and cerulean eyes sparkling with something akin to concern.

Anna furrowed her brows. _Oh, please. Don’t let it be bad._ “What is it?” she asked with a small, encouraging smile.

“I spoke with the butcher the other day. He said that his youngest son had gone hunting to the forest that surrounds the borders of the city. The butcher is worried because he has yet to return.”

“That’s awful,” Anna commented with a frown.

“I told him that I would deal with this matter personally so—,” Elsa seemed to hesitate, her eyes darting between the grass and Anna’s teal eyes. “—I think we ought to go into the woods and look for him.”

Anna stayed silent for a moment. “Just you and me?” Elsa nodded. “What about Kristoff, and Sven and Olaf?”

“This isn’t that big of a deal,” Elsa blushed immediately. “Not that a missing boy isn’t a _big deal_ , but this is different from our — let’s say — _adventures_. It’s not like a voice is calling me or something,” Elsa’s attempt at shedding some light upon the tense atmosphere between them is futile. She sighed. “Look,” she began, taking a step towards Anna and taking her sister’s hands. “I know this is a lot. But I wouldn’t come here to ask you about this if I weren’t _sure_ that we will encounter no peril on the way. We will take our horses, look around the forest and find the boy. We will be back in no time at all.”

Anna still felt unsure about all of this. It seemed fishy but she didn’t want Elsa to know about her worries. _But you said no more secrets between you!_ , a voice desperately said inside her head. Anna sighed. “Are you completely sure about this? Don’t you want to send the guards if this isn’t that big of a deal?”

Elsa shook her head. “I’m sure,” she replied firmly. “And, this way we will spend some time alone. With no paperwork, I mean.”

The soft blush on Anna’s cheeks returned and she smiled. If Elsa was sure, then she wouldn’t object. She _trusted_ Elsa and going with Elsa on this quest seemed far better than letting her go alone. “Okay,” she finally conceded with a smile. “I’ll come with you.”

“Great!” Elsa exclaimed, sounding actually delighted. “Then we must go back to the castle. We leave tomorrow at dawn.”

—————————————————

The following morning, the sun rose behind a curtain of dark clouds. Anna feared bad weather, but Elsa told her not to worry; if needed, they will find a shelter. Anna followed her sister to the stables with her heart in her throat, a gentle but chilly breeze running through her loose tresses — save for the double braid. The horses neighed happily upon the sight of the royal sisters. The stable boy prepared Eira for Anna, and another female horse for Elsa. They thanked him quickly before mounting the animals. Anna gripped her satchel and made sure that, beneath her deep purple travel cloak, the sheath with her sword was securely tied to the belt of her ochre breeches. Elsa looked at her with hints of uncertainty in her eyes; she still needed to get used to this side of her sister, the _warrior_ one, as she liked to call it. As the bigger sister, the need to protect her at all times was infinite, and seeing her _little_ sister manage a weapon like a sword was a little bit concerning. Still, Anna knew that Elsa trusted her, and this was all she needed to know in order to feel confident in her fighting skills. She wasn’t the best knight in Arendelle, but at least, if they ever found themselves in a situation where Elsa’s powers weren’t enough, she knew she could count on her knowledge of swordplay to protect them from harm.

“Ready?” Elsa asked with a neutral expression.

Anna nodded and with a little, playful smile, replied earnestly, “I was born ready.”

The sisters crossed the Bridge of Arches, their horses cantering. The atmosphere was quiet, eerily so, and Anna couldn’t seem to avoid the feeling of uneasiness that settled at the bottom of her stomach. Still, when she met Elsa’s gaze as they rode through the village, she managed an encouraging and cheerful smile, although slightly restricted.

Some moments later, they finally entered the forest of Arendelle. Surrounded by the beautiful colors of the spring, Anna let her teal eyes focus on everything that was around them. _This forest never stops to amaze me_ , she thought, in awe of what nature was showing them. Eira neighed, as if she had heard Anna’s wonder and agreed with her.

“I know I keep saying this whenever we come here, but this is beautiful,” Anna voiced her thoughts, the grip around her reins loose. She finally let herself relax, the tense muscles of her back loosening up as she twisted her head in every direction. Anna heard Elsa giggle beside her.

“I can’t believe you’re almost twenty two, and yet you still manage to look like a bewildered kid,” Elsa commented.

“I don’t think we ever stop being children. It’s like, we grow up, but inside of us there’s still that young, innocent kid, you know?”

Elsa seemed deep in thought. “Yeah,” she agreed after some time. Anna expected something more, but when the silence stretched on, she glanced at her sister and momentarily got distracted by her sheer beauty. Graceful as ever, she rode her horse with her back straight and head held high. Her pale blue dress, adorned with snowflakes and complete with military-style epaulets, hugged every inch of her body, the flowing cape — split in two — fluttering in the wind behind her back. Anna’s eyes traveled downwards until they fell upon Elsa’s ice boots, the pair decorated with yet other snowflake patterns from top to toe. When Anna blinked several times, she found herself with her throat completely dry. The heartbeat inside her ribcage was slightly erratic, and her cheeks felt warmer than usual. She tried to look away, but the view was simply wonderful and majestic.

“Is there something wrong?” Elsa asked suddenly, a look of worry on her face. When Anna met her eyes, her attention was immediately drawn to her sister’s single braid over the shoulder. “Anna? Do I have something on my face or something?”

Anna finally came to her senses and furiously shook her head. “No! No, your face is gorgeous. I mean, erm, it is, obviously, because _you_ are gorgeous so by default your face is also beautiful. Wait, what?”

Elsa giggled and covered her mouth with a dainty hand. “I feel like you’re never getting rid of that stuttering of yours, aren’t you?”

Anna blushed even further. “I mean…” she trailed off, her shoulder raising in a shrug. “I don’t know, I’m sorry for staring, I was just—,” she paused. _Admiring,_ her brain finished for her. Instead, her mouth said, “—looking at you.”

Elsa smiled softly at her. There’s a slight tinge of pink in her cheeks, apparent thanks to the pale color of her skin. “Thank you,” she said warmly. “For what you said. About me being beautiful, I mean,”

“Yeah! Yeah,” Anna nodded her head and decided to look away. She focused on her own hands now gripping the reins. She noticed the slight tremble in her fingers and took a deep breath. “No problem,” she muttered.

They rode for the rest of the morning, looking for the young boy everywhere. They called his name, various times, but still, they found no traces of him. When it was about midafternoon, they decided to stop by a small stream and eat something. They tied their horses to nearby trees and then sat down on some rocks. From her satchel, Anna brought out two sandwiches made by the gracious Gerda, and handed one to her sister. They ate in silence, Elsa soaking up the landscape of golden open fields and high trees. Anna, on the other hand, was still struggling with whatever was swirling inside her head. She couldn’t seem to compose herself, no matter how hard she tried. She felt nervous around her sister, and when she tried to analyze her feelings, she realized that she has been feeling this way ever since Elsa came back. She didn’t know exactly what _this_ was, yet it still felt familiar and painfully frightening.

“Even though I don’t want to go back to Arendelle empty handed, I don’t think we’ll be able to find him before sunset,” Elsa commented, a slight pang of disappointment in her voice.

Anna thoughtfully looked at her now empty hands. “Well, let’s keep looking for him. Shall we?”

They kept riding and riding, until they almost grew too tired and their throats were sore from all the yelling. Elsa sighed and halted her horse, stopping in the middle of the woods. Anna noticed her stopping and did the same.

“What’s the matter?” she asked. It was getting dark. They had roughly thirty minutes of light before the darkness of the night would cover the forest. “Elsa?”

Elsa was looking from side to side, a slightly panicked look inside her cerulean eyes. “I don’t—,” she paused, her sentence interrupted by a frustrated sigh.

“Elsa?” Anna called her again, now feeling uneasy. She moved closer to her, their horses facing opposites directions. The closeness allowed her to grab Elsa’s hand, effectively bringing her back to her. Their eyes met. “What’s _wrong_? What are you—,”

“We’re lost,” Elsa finally confessed. “I don’t understand where we are. We’re _lost_ , Anna.”

The realization hit her suddenly. They were lost. In the middle of the woods. Right before dusk. And they were _alone_. “Oh,” it was the only thing that came out of her mouth. “Well—,”

“We can’t go back home but we can’t just roam all night, it’s too dangerous. We need to look for a shelter.”

With that in mind, they searched for a place to stay the night, even though Anna knew that ahead of them, a terrible night of fistful sleep awaited them.

The only sounds she could hear were their breathing — Elsa’s was slightly labored — the rustling of the leaves and the grass as their horses stepped on them with their hooves, and lastly, the chilly air dancing through the trees as night approached faster and faster.

Then, a grumbling noise sounded between them. Elsa looked at Anna. “Don’t tell me you’re hungry.”

But Anna’s blood had turned cold. “It wasn’t _me_.”

Just as she said the words, big, frightful eyes appeared from everywhere around them. One moment before, they were mounting their horses. One moment later, the sisters found themselves with their backs against the ground, their horses neighing wildly before running away, _scared_. Anna groaned as a sharp pain spread through her back. She opened her eyes in the nick of time; _wolves._ “Elsa!” she exclaimed. The next thing she saw was a blast of ice, followed by the whimper of an animal. Elsa called out her name and just as Anna looked up, a wolf ready to attack her, she unsheathed her sword, the sound making her blood pump faster and faster inside her vessels. The metal clung as it blocked the wolf’s fangs from harming her. Anna quickly kicked it on the side and got to her feet, her breathing sporadic as she glanced around herself. The low lighting made it difficult to see, but somehow, Elsa’s powers glimmered and offered them enough light to fight.

Anna fought with the next wolf, wounding it on its back, its warm blood staining the bottom of her breeches. The foul smell of blood filled her nostrils as she fought with all the might she could possess. She was tired, exhausted from all the riding they’ve been doing all day, but fright made adrenaline course through her veins, numbing all the pain and accelerating her heartbeat.

Anna suddenly heard a yelp behind her, followed by the thump that could only be attributed to a body falling onto the ground. Just as she turned around, the grip around her hilt firm and her sword held aloft, she saw the claws of a dark wolf connect with the side of Elsa’s stomach; _wounding_ her.

Elsa whimpered and shut her eyes closed from the sudden pain in her abdomen.

“Elsa!” Anna screamed, lunging forward and plunging the sharp tip of her sword inside the animal. She kicked it away quickly, standing fearlessly before her sister. She moved her sword from side to side, screaming ferociously as an attempt to scare away the wolves. “Go away! Go _away_!”

The wolves growled at her, as if challenging her. Anna put her feet in their correct position and kept repeating herself all the things she had learned from Oskar’s lessons. _Never let your guard down. Don’t let your enemy see the fear inside your eyes. You are stronger than them._ And when a wolf advanced forward, she swung her sword and cut its tail. The animal whimpered loudly as its companions howled.

Anna was breathing heavily, a sheer line of sweat covering her forehead and exposed collarbones as she watched the wolves break into a run. When they were finally gone, Anna’s ears gradually stopped ringing, and she took a deep breath. Until she heard a pained moan behind her.

“Elsa!” she exclaimed, falling to her knees beside Elsa’s supine body and dropping her sword a few feet away from them. “Oh God, are you okay?!”

Elsa’s travel dress was no longer a pale shade of blue, but rather the side of her abdomen was all stained with crimson red blood. Elsa’s chest rose and fell quickly, her breath shallow as she looked up at Anna. “It hurts a little,” she confessed. She sat up with the help from her sister as the latter placed a tender hand on the wound and wrapped an arm around her back in order to offer support.

“Use your magic,” Anna suggested. It was too dark to see, but from what she could feel with her fingertips, Elsa’s wound was nothing but a large cut, not too deep and hence not fatal. “It will stop the bleeding.”

Elsa followed Anna’s advice and their features were suddenly illuminated by the inevitable azure glow that came with Elsa’s powers. Elsa’s ice cold hand shook as she brought it against her wound. She groaned in pain, and Anna squeezed her free hand with hers.

“That’s it,” she whispered. Elsa’s hair were slightly tousled, same with Anna’s, but Anna still thought that she looked impeccable. She rubbed her arm up and down in a soothing motion. “Can you stand?”

Elsa tried to and succeeded, so Anna took that as a good sign. She gathered her sword and put it back into its sheath. She looked around and noticed that their horses were, unfortunately, gone. The wolves had scared them away. She sighed heavily and then wrapped an arm around her sister’s waist. Together, they walked until they stumbled upon an open cavern. In the distance, Anna heard a low grumbling, but this time it didn’t come from the forest; it came from the sky. She cursed mentally and hoped that no rain would ruin their already terrible night.

Inside the cavern, it was starting to get colder as the time passed by — at least for Anna. The cavern was enough spacious for the both of them, and Anna helped Elsa sit with her back against the wall made of rocks. Their clothes were wrinkled and stained both with grass and the dirt of the soil. Their hair was disheveled, but Anna couldn’t care less about her appearance; the only thing that mattered now was making sure that Elsa was okay.

Anna watched Elsa close her eyes, a hand still around the side of her abdomen, before dropping all her things to the left of her sister. Her fingers still shook with adrenaline, and she guessed, from Elsa’s slight shivers, that the same was happening to her sister.

Anna discarded herself of her travel cloak and placed it on the ground, using it as a sort of a blanket. Then, she sat by Elsa’s right side, her back towards the entrance of the cavern — which was at least seven feet away from them — and ripped up a part of the bottom of her black tunic, which was previously tucked inside her breeches.

“What are you doing?” Elsa asked, voice hoarse and slow. Her eyes seemed unfocused.

“We need to cover your cut with a bandage,” Anna stated, her sentence devoid of space for any objections. Elsa said nothing and then slumped her head against the wall. When Anna had enough cloth, she tucked her shirt back inside the hem of her breeches, and then moved Elsa’s hand out of the way. The first thing she noticed was the smallness of the cut, which immediately relaxed her. The second thing she noticed was that the bleeding had stopped, which was _great_. The last thing she noticed was — and her cheeks immediately flared up — that the claws of the wolf had torn up most of Elsa’s pale blue dress. Most of Elsa’s abdomen and stomach was visible, and Anna tried not to think about how toned and lean it looked. She glanced down at the cloth in her hand and then back at Elsa’s ripped dress.

“We need to start a fire first,” she stated. She realized that _that_ should have been the first thing she should have thought of and then chided herself for being so distracted.

It took her roughly thirty minutes, but on what felt like her hundredth try, a flicker of warmth _finally_ lit up the small cavern turned shelter. Anna let out a sigh of relief when she turned around and could clearly see Elsa’s face instead of a shadow in the dark. Her sister smiled back at her before following her every move as Anna sat back beside her. “How are you feeling?” Anna asked.

She had a good view of Elsa’s cut now — which was just that. A simple cut. Right below her right breast, a light, shallow wound of four inches now decorated Elsa’s pale and porcelain skin: the blood had now dried. “I’m…fine,” Elsa replied quietly, sounding almost subdued. “I’ve never hurt myself so — this is actually my first injury,” she added with a lighthearted chuckle.

Anna’s teal eyes widened slightly. “Oh? I always scraped my knees when I was younger,” she shrugged. Then, she saw the nostalgic and longing look inside Elsa’s cerulean irises, and realized that Elsa had never hurt herself during her childhood because firstly, she wasn’t as clumsy as her little sister. And secondly, Elsa had never _had_ a real and proper childhood. She had given it up for Anna’s safety. And the reminder tasted bittersweet in her tongue as Anna shut her mouth and then tried to cover Elsa’s wound with her cloth. She almost felt bad for bringing their past up. Elsa had always put her sister’s needs before her own, doing everything she could to keep Anna safe. And yet, Anna couldn’t help but think that it was when apart, that she felt most surrounded by danger. It was when apart, that fate loved to play with them and hurt them.

“Anna? You okay?”

Hearing concern in Elsa’s voice, Anna met her gaze with as much calmness in her eyes as she could muster. “Yes,” she replied softly. “I was just lost in my thoughts,” she added. She wrapped the bandage around Elsa’s abdomen, managing to circle her chest three times before tucking its hem under Elsa’s dress. Anna felt her cheeks flame as her fingertips kept making contact with Elsa’s bare skin.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Elsa asked in a whisper.

When Anna looked up, she realized too late their close proximity. Her hands shook as they rested against her own lap. She felt a chilly breeze brush against her cheek before it slightly danced with the tip of Elsa’s still intact braid. There was an unreadable look on Elsa’s face, because while Anna always wore her heart on her sleeve, Elsa was an indecipherable book, its language incomprehensible for everyone save for its owner.

Like lighting, the sudden urge to _feel_ close to her sister spread throughout her body; starting from her heart, and then reaching her fingertips and toes at last. Elsa’s eyes never faltered, something akin to fatigue and intrigue swimming inside those oceans. Anna didn’t know where it came from, but the intrusive and inexplicable thought, _I want to kiss her_ , flashed at the forefront of her mind. For a moment, Anna basked in the peace after the storm; listened to their soft breathing patterns, the crackling of the fire, the wind a few feet away from them. She lost herself in the deep hues of Elsa’s eyes, the oranges and the reds of the fire reflecting every little detail of her irises; it was as if snowflakes _glimmered_ within them.

Then, as impulsive as she was, she didn’t think about the consequences that could follow her reckless actions.

And kissed her.

She leaned in, slowly, then quickly. She closed her eyes and made the distance between them disappear, colliding their lips for the very first time.

Anna heard the quiet gasp coming from Elsa’s throat, but her own mouth swallowed it before it could echo inside the cavern. She kissed her softly, languidly, slightly tilting her head in order to not let their noses bump uncomfortably. Long seconds passed by, before she felt the flutter of Elsa’s eyelashes against her cheeks — as if she had just closed her eyes.

And when Elsa kissed her back, something inside of her shifted. Clicked. Everything suddenly made sense, because _this_ was what her body had been craving for. This closeness, the feeling of Elsa’s breath against her face, the taste of her lips on her tongue — so sweet, so addicting. The more their lips moved against one another, the more Anna wanted, _needed_ more. She tilted her head to the right, her hand coming up and cupping Elsa’s cheek, just as the kiss deepened.

The sound of a low grumbling outside made Anna realize of what she had just done, and it was the one thing that brought her back to earth. She widened her eyes and clumsily detached herself from her sister. Her _sister_. Anna hastily — and awkwardly — got to her feet, her cheeks burning bright red. She thought she saw a blush on Elsa’s cheeks, too, but she was too preoccupied with the train of realizations that crumbled upon her all of a sudden. _Oh, God_ , she thought, _did I just kiss my sister? Why did I do that?!_

Elsa looked up at her, dazed and slightly confused that their kiss had to end so soon. _No, no. I can’t believe that I have just kissed Elsa._ _Why, Anna, why did you do that?_ , she chided herself.

Another rumble sounded outside and Anna scrambled to get her sword. Then, when she heard the soft sound of the rain hitting the grass, she realized that it was just a thunder and not another pack of wolves.

Still, she stuttered, “I, erm, think that it is best if one of us stays up to, erm, like, be on the lookout for perils,” when Elsa kept staring at her with that confused look inside her eyes, Anna added quickly, “Yes. I will do just that. You just, erm, just sleep. Rest. Don’t worry about anything,”

When the silence stretched, Anna’s shoulders raised as if they were in the middle of a shrug. Then, Anna finally gave up and shut up before something embarrassing could escape from her mouth. The mouth that, seconds before, had just _kissed_ Elsa. _Stop reminding me that, you stupid brain!_ , she scolded herself. Then, as she walked a few feet away and sat down right at the entrance of the cavern, she heard shuffling behind her. Anna waited for long moments, before she finally had the courage to peak behind her and see what her sister was up to. A sigh of relief came out from between her lips. Elsa had just settled down with her back flat against the ground made of hard rocks, her eyes closed, ready to fall into the welcoming arms of a deep slumber. Anna smiled when she noticed that Elsa — a woman who wasn’t terribly bothered by the cold — had draped her sister’s deep purple travel cloak over her petite body. And that same warmth from before returned in her chest just as she caught sight of how Elsa clutched its hem, as if she were afraid that the wind would carry it away from her.

Anna sighed again, turning her back to her sister as she gazed at the darkness ahead, the forest silent all around her. She looked up, easily getting lost inside her thoughts as she stared at the cloudy sky above, droplets of rain falling against the sharp tip of her sword and on the grass.

She didn’t know _how_ she felt about the kiss she had just shared with Elsa. But one thing was clear inside her foggy mind.

Anna wanted to _kiss_ her again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question: do you think that Elsanna kissing happened too soon or is the pace of the story okay?


	9. Chapter 8

**THE** sound of soft and powerless whimpers woke her up from a deep slumber she hadn’t planned to fall into. Anna groggily opened her eyes, slowly taking in her surroundings. Pitch black darkness across her, the slight and blurred outline of a vast expansion of trees. Wet grass beneath her wet boots. Then, when she was awake enough to realize that they weren’t back at the Arendelle Castle, the happenings of the night before flashed at the forefront of her mind. The boy they _still_ needed to find. The wolves attacking them. Elsa getting wounded. Their horses fleeing. The finding of a shelter. The kiss — the _kiss_. Anna had kissed Elsa, and Elsa had kissed her _back_. The thought of Elsa’s lips against hers made her scramble to her feet, as her cheeks felt hot against the dampness of the downpour. Albeit softly, it was still raining outside the cavern, and Anna had probably fallen asleep sometime during the night. It was still dark, so it probably meant that the dusk had yet to arrive. The fire Anna had built hours earlier was still flickering, casting an ominous and eerie glow upon Elsa’s body. _Elsa_.

Her sister was whimpering quietly, her eyes tightly shut as she tossed and turned. Anna was momentarily paralyzed as she stared at the deep purple fabric of her own travel cloak wrapped loosely around Elsa’s waist. Then, when Elsa softly whispered, “ _No_ ,”, she assumed that she must be having a nightmare. Anna quickly covered the distance that separated them, her hand gripping tightly the sheath that hid her sword. She kneeled beside Elsa’s trashing body, and pondered for a moment.

_What can I do? What do I do?_ , she frantically asked herself. Her trembling fingers hovered over Elsa’s moving arms, before coming down to grasp them and stop them. “Elsa,” she whispered, her voice sounding too quiet compared to the rain falling incessantly on the ground. Anna shifted her right hand upward, grabbing Elsa’s shoulder and shaking her gently. “Elsa, wake _up_.”

She prodded further, and Elsa’s nightmare seemed to get worse as Elsa’s whimpers began to increase and get louder. Something akin to, “Let her _go_ ,” escaped from her sister’s lips, and Anna wondered if she were the protagonist of Elsa’s dream.

Gentleness didn’t seem to do the trick, therefore Anna shook her with more force. “Elsa! Wake up,” she desperately _needed_ her to wake up, because seeing her in so much emotional pain, seeing her so distraught for something that simply wasn’t real, made Anna’s heart ache. Then, finally, when she shook her once again, Elsa’s eyes shot open and immediately met Anna’s teal ones.

Everything was still for a moment, where Anna was gripping Elsa’s forearms and Elsa was looking up at her with so much fright in her eyes that Anna’s heartbeat accelerated.

Then, Elsa timidly asked, “Anna?”

“It’s me. I’m here, Elsa,” Anna spoke softly. Her words seemed to break Elsa even further, as she now sat up against the rock wall and fell forward into her sister’s arms. Anna, although slightly surprised, hugged her back with as much vigor as she was receiving. She closed her eyes, listening heartbroken to Elsa’s soft desperate cries. Anna cast aside the memories of the kiss that they had shared just a few hours ago, and tried to be the support system that Elsa needed at the moment. She felt Elsa bury her head in the crook of her neck, and Anna rubbed her right hand along her tense back. She whispered comforting words against her older sister’s ear and held tightly onto her. The wind outside slightly picked up speed; a thunder grumbled far away. When Anna opened her eyes, she saw the flames of the fire quiver just as an eerie shiver run up her spine. Then, just as Elsa pulled away and wiped the tears from her own cheeks, a bad feeling settled upon Anna’s stomach. Elsa looked miserable, _frightened_.

“Are you okay?” Anna asked, her hands still wrapped around her forearms, her fingers drawing soothing circles on her delicate skin.

Elsa seemed uncertain. “I don’t know,” she looked beyond Anna’s shoulder. Anna desperately wanted their gazes to meet. “I just — it was so weird. This nightmare. It seemed so _real_.”

“But it wasn’t,” Anna stated firmly, ducking her head in order to meet Elsa’s eyes.

“I don’t know,” Elsa shook her head and averted her stare. “It _felt_ real. And it was all happening so fast. And everything was blurry and confusing.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

Elsa’s bottom lip quivered slightly. Her hands gripped the fabric that covered Anna’s shoulders. “There was… _something._ Like a spirit. And it was continuously calling me,” Anna’s features dropped. This all sounded painfully _familiar_. “But it wasn’t the same voice that called me last year. It wasn’t Ahtohallan,” Elsa seemed to struggle. “It was — it was… _evil._ It wanted _you_. It wanted to _kill_ you, or at least harm you in order to hurt _me._ ”

Anna swallowed. “What do you mean?”

“I — I don’t know. That spirit said horrible things about our parents, about the Northuldra people, and about _us._ It was all too _real_ to think of this nightmare as a simple dream. It felt, like — like —,” Elsa stuttered and Anna got even more worried. Elsa _never_ stuttered. “I don’t know. It was like this spirit was trying to—,”

“Warn you,” Anna finished for her. “Warn _us_ ,” she added thoughtfully and quietly. Anna felt Elsa’s body tremble between her arms.

“Exactly,” Elsa agreed after some time. “It’s like I can still feel _its_ presence and its…words or voice. It’s as if this spirit was not just part of the dream. As if — as if it belonged to… _this_ world. As if it tried to communicate with me through this nightmare, but _it_ is real.”

Anna lowered her head and this time it was _her_ who couldn’t meet Elsa’s gaze, who instead was desperately trying to meet her eyes, read her emotions through them. The night was quiet apart from the sound of the rain, of the wind, and of their heavy breath. Anna watched the wet patch of fabric of her breeches, the feeling of coldness painful and stinging against her calf. She _shouldn’t_ have fallen asleep with her feet outside the coverage of the cavern. The silence stretched on, and she didn’t know what to do or say.

“What does it say?” Anna suddenly asked, remembering Elsa’s words.

Elsa blinked. “What?”

Anna looked up at her. “You said you can still hear its words. What does it say? What’s the last thing you remember of its words?”

Elsa’s gaze seemed to darken. Apparently, she had yet to admit the worst part of the dream. Anna felt Elsa’s fingers rub mindlessly against her neck, a soothing and calming gesture. But then, she replied.

“Its last words were that it’s coming… _for us_.”

Anna’s heart stopped. Her teal eyes widened and slightly teared up. “What?” she asked, but her voice had been almost inaudible. If they hadn’t been so close to each other, Elsa probably wouldn’t have heard her. Elsa pursed her lips and cast her eyes downward. Anna felt like someone had just kicked her in the stomach. The air had been sucked out of her lungs, and she couldn’t sit still.

Anna got to her feet, Elsa’s words echoing inside her mind just as the gravity of the situation settled in. “This can’t be happening,” she whispered to herself. She shook her head, her hands gripping the roots of her copper hair. She began pacing, up and down, in front of Elsa’s still sitting body. “This _can’t_ be happening,”

“Anna,” Elsa tried to catch her attention. But Anna was deaf to everything except the loud sound of her worst fear screaming inside her mind. The fear of losing Elsa. _Again_. “Anna, please, come back here—,”

“This can’t be happening, not again!” she raised her voice, but she just sounded scared. Almost frustrated at the situation. But the anxiety crawling from every corner and crevice of her body was about to attack her fragile and pained soul.

“Anna, please,” Elsa pleaded, and she almost sounded on the brink of tears. “Maybe it’s nothing! Maybe it was just a terrible nightmare and nothing will—,”

“You said it yourself!” Anna exclaimed, taking out her unease on the person that least deserved it. “You said that it felt too real to be just a dream. Maybe it’s real! Maybe there’s — something, a spirit, I don’t know, _but_ — there’s something out there that is coming for us! And it’s evil, and it’s going to take you away from me _again_ and I can’t — I _can’t_ lose you again, Elsa! I can’t!”

The only string that was holding every single broken piece of her being together finally loosened, and Anna turned her back towards Elsa before an incessant and endless stream of tears fell from her eyes. Tears of frustration, of fright, of anger, of _everything,_ came all at once. As a sob tore out of her clenched teeth, she pushed the hill of her hands against her closed eyes. An agitated and frustrated groan followed seconds later. Anna tried to let the optimist side of her being overcome the pessimist one, but right in this moment, she couldn’t seem to find the light in the midst of all this overwhelming darkness.

Then, Anna heard movement behind her, and a few seconds later, she saw Elsa’s shadow stand beside hers.

“I’m sorry—,” she apologized, her chest rising and falling quickly. “You should rest and—,”

“No,” Elsa objected softly. As Anna turned around, she met her sister’s gaze and found cerulean eyes shining with nothing but compassion and love. “Come here,” she whispered calmly, opening her arms and inviting her in. Anna hesitated, glancing at the bandage that still covered her bare abdomen, but then gladly accepted the offered hug. The slight height difference let them fit together like two puzzle pieces, Elsa’s arms going around her neck while Anna’s went around her back, her hands gripping tightly her sister’s shoulders. Anna buried her face in Elsa’s bare neck, breathing her in and soaking her skin with her tears. She cried and quivered in her arms, but it felt nice to fall apart in her sister’s tight and comforting embrace. Elsa was warmer than the fire a few feet away from them, and the possibility of losing her again crashed Anna all over again. As if on cue, her grip on Elsa’s shoulder blades tightened and she felt Elsa kiss the side of her head, right above her left temple. She heard her whisper sweet nothings, and somehow, she managed to calm down.

When her cheeks were no longer marked by her tears and her sobs had turned into light sniffles, she pulled away slightly, enough to be able to look up at her sister’s eyes. Anna gazed at her, Elsa’s stare intense as she easily held eye contact with her. Their close proximity reminded Anna of the kiss they had shared a few hours earlier, and just as her gaze fell upon Elsa’s slightly parted lips, she immediately looked away, embarrassment clear on her reddened cheeks.

Elsa’s arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her a little closer. Anna placed her forehead against her shoulders just as her hands held on tightly onto her forearms. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, head feeling heavy and heart feeling tired.

“You okay there?” Elsa asked quietly as she placed her chin on the crown of her sister’s head. Anna smiled at the sound of her voice. She managed to nod and then enjoyed the silence that followed. Now that she had let it all out, she felt both relieved and exhausted. “I just…” Elsa began, sounding slightly unsure. Anna squeezed her forearms as a sign of encouragement. “I wish I could promise you that nothing bad is going to happen. But life is unpredictable, and we don’t know for sure whether this spirit that appeared in my dream is real or not. What we can do is just…be prepared. And I can’t promise you that nothing bad is going to happen to _me_ , but — I _promise_ you, whatever comes, we’ll face it _together_.”

Anna had heard of this before. And she trusted her sister. She really did. But the last time that Elsa had promised her something like this, she had not hesitated when she had broken it.

Anna pulled away, looking up at her and trying not to let their closeness affect both her mind and body. “Do you really mean it?”

Elsa nodded slowly. “I do,” she whispered.

They held each other’s gaze for a while, before a thunder broke the silence and, consequently, the mood. Both of them looked towards the entrance of the cavern, where they could see the downpour and its intensity. “We should go back to sleep,” Anna suggested. She tugged at Elsa’s arms. Then, carefully, they lied down nearby the fire because the more time passed, the more the temperatures seemed to drop.

Elsa handed Anna the deep purple cloak. Anna placed it over her body as if it were a blanket, and held tightly onto its hem just as a light shiver shook her body. Elsa noticed, and proposed, “You can come closer, if you want. Maybe some cuddles will warm you up.”

Anna looked to her side, Elsa’s eyes sparkling with something akin to amusement and worry. Of _course_ she was worried about her. Albeit hesitantly, Anna shuffled closer, ignoring the thumping of her wild heart beating strongly against her ribcage. She lied on her side and threw her left arm over the supine body of her sister, and placed her head against her shoulder. Not knowing where to put her left hand, Anna decided at the last minute to let it rest against Elsa’s hip; this way, she wouldn’t accidentally touch Elsa’s wound and hence put her in pain.

When Elsa intertwined their legs and wrapped an arm around her back in order to make them more comfortable, Anna closed her eyes shut and tried to get rid of the insurmountable warmth that spread all over her chest. Elsa’s left hand began to stroke invisible patterns along the entire length of her arm; starting slowly from her shoulder and then softly caressing the inside of her wrist with her fingertips. Anna felt safe. Anna felt warm. _This can’t get any better_ , she thought, but then, Elsa proved her wrong.

Elsa’s husky and hoarse voice filled the silence and began to singer their mother’s lullaby, the pinkie of her right hand caressing a path starting from her forehead and then ending at the tip of her nose. Anna slightly giggled at the motion; when Mama used to do this to her when she was little, she always fell asleep quickly, no matter the situation. Elsa sang quietly, the downpour and the thunders outside setting a slow pace for the tune.

Anna snuggled tighter, breathing in deeply and, at last, falling into a deep slumber. The last thing she heard was Elsa’s quiet and melodic voice singing the final words of the lullaby —

_“When all is lost, then all is found.”_

—————————————————

When all was said and done, the two sisters managed to find the boy they were looking for and got back to Arendelle two days later, right before dusk. The sun was setting when they entered the village. Anna ordered a guard to inform the butcher of his son’s finding and a few minutes later, the pair reunited in the middle of the square, surrounded by a dozen of Arendellian people, who all clapped happily. The butcher and his son embraced tightly, tears of delight shed by the father as he whispered his son’s name. Elsa watched them with a little smile on her face, and Anna couldn’t help but watch Elsa watch the reunion of a happy family. Everything was poignant and Anna smiled. Then, as if Elsa had felt her gaze on her, she turned towards her sister with a curious and delighted expression. Anna quickly looked away, her cheeks flaming at having been caught staring. She thought she heard Elsa chuckle, but when she stole a glance her way, Elsa’s lips were just stretched into a tight lipped grin.

The two sisters spent a few more minutes with the butcher, as the latter thanked them profusely for the great deed they had done. He praised them until his son shushed him playfully. Then, they said their goodbyes to the family before retiring to the Arendelle Castle. The guards of the village had just started lighting up the flames inside the lampposts and, boldly, Anna reached out to her sister and hooked her arm through Elsa’s left elbow. She felt a blush spread on her cheeks but she quickly ignored it.

They walked leisurely across the Bridge of Arches and then entered the castle. Olaf was the first to greet them. It almost looked like he had been waiting for them by the door.

“You’re back!” he exclaimed. He wrapped his twig arms around their legs and Anna managed to blush even more when their bodies lightly crushed together. Elsa smiled slightly at her and then looked down at the joyful snowman. “I missed you!”

“We missed you, too,” Elsa said, playfully tugging at the twigs on the top of his head.

“So, tell me,” Olaf started eagerly. “How was the trip?”

His curiousness made Anna blush. “It was great,” she replied, glancing briefly at Elsa. Her sister was actually wearing Anna’s cloak, in order to cover her bare abdomen. Seeing Elsa wear something that was uniquely hers made a strange feeling grow inside her heart, but Anna decided to ignore it for now.

“Yes, it was,” Elsa agreed. When their eyes met, it seemed that, silently, they mutually agreed not to tell their friend of the wolves’ attack. It would only worry him for nothing. “We luckily found the boy and we’ve made a father really happy today.”

Olaf squealed in excitement and clapped his twig hands together. “I love a family reunion!” he exclaimed, delighted.

“Us too,” Anna smiled. She shyly looked at Elsa and spotted the faint pink color of a blush on her cheeks. “Now, if you will excuse us,”

Olaf smiled up at them as he stepped to the side. As they passed by him, Elsa tugged Anna’s cloak closer around her body and the younger sister didn’t miss the slight movement. Just as they began to walk towards Elsa’s bedroom — Anna had every intention to call the doctor and let him check Elsa’s injury, even if Elsa would object — Olaf called out their names.

“Elsa, why are you wearing Anna’s cloak?” he asked innocently.

Anna looked at Elsa just as her older sister replied, “It’s a long story,”

Olaf seemed content with that answer. They watched him skip down the hallway before quietly bursting into a fit of giggles. On their way to the bedroom, Anna seemed to realize that they had yet to speak of _the_ kiss, or at least acknowledge it and — _perhaps_? — put it behind their backs. Anna got lost inside her thoughts, as her brain painfully replayed every single second that had made that kiss so unique and so special. Her brain, it seemed, also keenly wanted to remind her of the pleasant tingling that Elsa’s lips had left behind after they had parted. Her heart hammered in her chest and she started to get nervous just as they entered Elsa’s bedroom. In order to distract herself from a conversation that would happen sooner rather than later, Anna asked to a nearby maid to call the doctor and send him directly to Elsa’s bedroom. Then, Anna quietly slipped inside her sister’s chamber, and closed the door behind her.

When she turned around, Elsa was stripping off her cloak and placing it neatly by the end of her canopy bed. Anna fiddled with her hands and stood by the door, unable to walk forward.

Only when Elsa sat on the edge of the mattress and finally noticed Anna’s hesitation, did the older sister understand that the time for them to have _that_ conversation had come.

“Aren’t you going to sit beside me?” Elsa asked, trying to lighten the situation by smiling slightly up at her still standing sister.

Anna widened her eyes. “Oh! Yes, of course,” she muttered embarrassedly. She walked forward, but when she was standing two feet away from the bed, she made up her mind and decided that she would stand rather than sit down. They had little time for themselves anyway, so it was best that she just ripped the band-aid and made this less awkward.

But Elsa preceded her.

“I think we should talk,” she started, sounding collected and calm.

Anna, on the other hand, was the opposite of that. Her fingers quivered, and she was unable to meet Elsa’s cerulean eyes. “Yes. Yes, we should,”

Elsa nodded. “We kissed,” she said innocently.

Anna glanced at her briefly, expecting her to say more. When she didn’t, Anna said, “We did,” admitting it out loud made her blush. She kept stealing glances at Elsa, who seemed to not have any problems in looking at her. Anna sighed quietly and kept fiddling with her fingers.

“Well, _you_ kissed _me_ ,” Elsa stated after a few seconds.

“You kissed me back,” Anna added, as if that changed everything.

“Yes, I did,” Elsa nodded. “I actually didn’t know what to do. I — you know…” Elsa’s porcelain skin made the blush on her cheeks more evident. Anna found it adorable. “…I had no idea of what to do, because I’ve actually never kissed anyone. Well, apart from _you_.”

Anna stared dumbly at her before realizing what her words implied. “Oh!” she exclaimed. If it were possible, her face turned redder. “I was your _first_ kiss.”

“Yes,” Elsa confirmed with a chuckle that was between embarrassment and amusement.

_I’m so dumb! Now I feel even worse._ Anna began to move her hands around. “I’m _so_ sorry Elsa. I didn’t mean to steal your first kiss and—,”

“No, no. It’s okay,” Elsa stopped her quickly, standing up herself. “You didn’t steal anything. I could have pushed you away.”

_But you didn’t_ , Anna finished in her mind. Anna looked at her for a long moment. “Still, I am sorry. I don’t know why I did that, but I guess that there are feelings that—,”

“Feelings?” Elsa asked, blinking rapidly.

In that moment of silence, Anna realized the mistake she had just done. Then, consequently, she realized that she had answered all those questions that she had asked herself two nights ago after her kiss with Elsa. _Oh, so there_ are _feelings_ , she thought, albeit bitterly.

“Yes,” she replied timidly, feeling smaller and smaller as the time passed. She ducked her head. “I…have _feelings_ for you, Elsa,” she continued. When Elsa didn’t say anything, she rambled, “I don’t know how this happened, but I think that it all started right after you died? I guess? I don’t know. I just — ever since you came back, I constantly want to spend time with you. Every moment we spend apart, my heart is just in pain. I always want to hold your hand, because I feel like I have to keep reminding myself that you are alive and that _all of this_ is not just a figment of my imagination. And I just — want to make you happy. I want to _see_ and _hear_ your happiness, because when you’re pain I can’t help but suffer with you. And — I guess that I kissed you because I _wanted_ to feel closer to you. I kissed you because something inside of me _wanted_ to kiss you. And a part of me _still_ does, but—,” Anna paused and covered her forehead with her palm. She closed her eyes, unable to meet Elsa’s eyes and see her reaction. “—I’m just making this awkward. Because I am. _Awkward_ , I mean. Anyway! — Yes, Elsa, I _have_ feelings for you.”

Anna shut her mouth before anything else could come out, but just as she finished speaking, she realized that she had just _confessed_ having romantic feelings for her _sister_ to her sister. Right in this moment.

Before she could slap herself, Elsa spoke softly. “Anna, I…” she trailed off. Her hands were closed into fists and they were near her chest. A clear sign of nervousness. Anna chided herself repeatedly. _Stupid, stupid. You should have just shut up. You should have just forgotten all about that kiss and move on._ “Anna, I am _so_ sorry, but…I don’t — I don’t think that I feel the same.”

_Of course_ , Anna thought bitterly. The taste of rejection was strong and bitter on her tongue, but Anna tried to reign in her emotions and tried not to look as disappointed as she felt. “I — I know,” she stuttered stupidly. She looked down at her feet and sighed quietly. “I know.”

“I’m really sorry, Anna. I have — _never_ — I just don’t know what to say. I didn’t want to hurt you, I’m just — I’m _really_ sorry,”

Anna felt stupid when she felt the stinging sensation of tears behind her eyes. She swallowed through the lump in her throat and shook her head. She bravely met her sister’s gaze. “I know,” she repeated dumbly. “It’s okay,”

“Are _you_ okay?”

Anna looked away, for she couldn’t bear the sight of a worried and crestfallen Elsa. The older sister advanced forward, trying to grab her hand and maybe apologize some more, but then, a knock sounded at the door.

“Your Majesties?”

The doctor appeared from behind the door. Anna quickly took a step away from her sister and then nodded.

“Come in,” she said with a forced smile. “Well, dear sister,” she glanced at Elsa, who looked desperate to mend their relationship, her lips parting then closing. Through her eyes, Anna knew Elsa was asking her to stay. But Anna couldn’t. She just wanted to spend some time alone. “I will leave you in the doctor’s hands now. I must go,”

With that, Anna smiled a tight lipped smile at the doctor, who looked just a bit confused and puzzled at the younger sister’s words. However, Anna quickly walked towards the door, exiting Elsa’s bedroom before she could think about it twice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "real" plot of the story is about to truly begin and I am so excited to read your reactions! If you want, feel free to tell me your opinion down below in the comments :) 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading!


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all guys for the lovely comments! I love reading them and getting an insight of what your opinion is about my fic. Here is a chapter with Elsa's POV, but from next chapter it's going back to Anna's. Hope you like it, and if you want, leave kudos and/or a comment :)
> 
> Enjoy!

**CONFUSION** was written all over the doctor’s face, as he glanced back and forth between Elsa and the now closed door. Elsa sighed quietly; funny how the tables had turned. Usually, it was Elsa who used to close the door in her sister’s face. Now, they had switched positions. Elsa was in Anna’s shoes, and she had to admit to herself that it felt terrible. What she had discovered in Ahtohallan was true; _she_ was the Fifth Spirit, but their mother had had two daughters. _They_ were a bridge. Together, _they_ were the Fifth Spirit. And yet, Elsa had never felt more _disconnected_ from Anna than in this moment.

“Your Majesty?” doctor Aksel asked, placing his bag beside the canopy bed. “Are you alright?”

Elsa nodded, sitting down on the bed with a slightly defeated look in her cerulean eyes. “Yes. I’m okay,” she replied.

The doctor nodded once. “Perfect. Well, then — if you would lie down on your back, I will have a look at your wound.”

Elsa complied. Gingerly, she found a comfortable position to lie in — her head resting against the pillows — and closed her eyes. The doctor, after she gave him her consent, cut some of the fabric that covered her abdomen, allowing him more room to work with. “So,” he began. “I suppose your sister was the one to cover your wound with a bandage,” he observed. Elsa opened one eye, blushing at the mention of her sister. _She kissed me afterwards_ , her brain reminded her. Elsa’s cheeks became even redder. “Are you too warm, your Majesty?”

Elsa’s eyes widened. “What? Oh — no, no. I’m fine,” she replied with a tinge of embarrassment.

Doctor Aksel touched the outline of her wound and she shivered. Memories of that night came back. She could still hear the angry wolves, their howls in the pitch black darkness. The blasts of her ice magic. The clashing of a sword, Anna’s groans while she fought relentlessly and unrelentingly. The way she got distracted when she had thought she had heard her sister struggle. The way that single second had costed her a wound in her abdomen.

Elsa turned her head towards the window and looked outside. She heard the sounds of the village as its people readied themselves to retire to their homes for the evening. She briefly thought about Anna, wondering what she could possibly be up to at the moment. She wondered if she were okay, if their relationship was still intact, or if she had managed to divide them further apart.

“How did you get injured?” doctor Aksel asked, bringing her back to the bedroom.

Elsa turned towards him. “A pack of wolves attacked us. I was distracted for a moment and one of them wounded me with their claws,” she explained slowly.

Doctor Aksel nodded. He got rid of the old bandage and set it aside, before preparing a new one. “This is going to sting a little bit,” he warned. Before Elsa could react, a sharp and burning pain spread from her wound to the skin around it. She hissed lightly; the doctor apologized quickly. “This is a strange wound,” he stated quietly, watching intently Elsa’s injury. The queen looked at him quizzically.

“What do you mean by that?”

“It is barely noticeable, but the disinfectant reacts in a slightly different way with this cut. It seems… _magical_ ,” he observed. Elsa’s blood froze in her vessels. _Magical?_ “Perhaps, it reacts this way because _you_ are magical yourself, your Majesty. You have powers, and if I am not wrong, you are also the…Fifth Spirit?”

“Yes,” she cleared her throat when her voice cracked. “Yes. I am the Fifth Spirit.”

“My brother loves magic, and sometimes we talk about it, but my knowledge is limited here. However, you shall not worry, your Majesty. It’s nothing to worry about,”

Elsa nodded and glanced at her injury. Doctor Aksel was right; the cut seemed to have an almost imperceptible glow around its edges. Elsa only hoped that it had nothing to do with her nightmare and that strange spirit that starred in it.

“Does it still hurt?” the doctor curiously asked, as he began to wrap a fresh and white as powder bandage around her chest. Elsa lifted the fabric so that her dress wouldn’t be on the way.

“No,” Elsa replied thoughtfully. “It just stings a little bit,”

“Ah — that’s the disinfectant. It will pass in a few minutes,” he explained with a light smile. Then, when he finished, he said, “Here. All done. I recommend to rest for the day. Perhaps, you should leave your queenly duties to your sister today, so as to not stress yourself too much.”

Doctor Aksel got up and placed everything back inside his bag. He closed it slowly and then got to his feet. He looked down at Elsa, who was fixing her dress.

“Should I call Gerda or another maid, your Majesty?”

Elsa smiled lightly, although it didn’t reach her eyes, she was very grateful for Aksel’s help. “Yes. Thank you, doctor.”

“I was glad to help you,” he replied with a friendly smile. The doctor scratched the slight blonde beard on his chin and sighed. “Hope you have a good day, your Majesty,” he said, walking towards the door.

“You as well.”

Then, doctor Aksel left, and she was alone. For a moment, she stared at the door; the same door Anna had sat against for countless of nights and days. Elsa frowned. She hated fighting with her younger sister. And even if they weren’t fighting, the fact that she had no idea whether Anna was hurting because of her or not was agonizing. Elsa sighed. Lazily, she settled under the covers, and proceeded to wait for the arrival of one of her maids.

——————————————

_Anna’s body pressed against her was pleasant, as well as her warm lips constantly brushing against hers. Elsa’s back collided with the wall of her bedroom, and she felt Anna’s hands holding her hips, pinning her against it. A strangled sound, one that she had never heard from her own mouth, filled the space between their battling lips, and Elsa couldn’t care less about the need for oxygen. All she needed right now was Anna, to kiss and touch Anna. It was like she couldn’t get enough of her body, no matter where she placed her hands, her soul kept on longing for more. For something that was purely beyond physical; it was almost mystical._

_Elsa moaned into Anna’s mouth when her sister’s hands firmly grasped her behind. She bucked her hips, tangled one hand in Anna’s fiery copper hair, and let the other one rest against her collarbone, her thumb rubbing the skin of her neck._

_But something went wrong._

_Elsa heard Anna whisper an apology, but when she opened her eyes, her mind still foggy from all the kissing, it was too late. Anna wasn’t there anymore, and her absence felt colder than the ice she could create with her powers._

_Elsa wasn’t in her bedroom anymore. She was, surprisingly, outdoors. In a field, she assumed._

_When she finally came to her senses, she heard the unsheathing of a sword, a sound followed by a strangled and displeased whimper. Elsa looked to her right, and to her horror, the sight that met her widening eyes was possibly the worst thing she had ever seen._

_Just as Anna fell to her knees, Elsa screamed out her name._

_“Anna!”_

_When she tried to move, more blood spilled from Anna’s abdomen, right where the tip of the sword emerged. And the more steps she took towards her little sister, the more Anna groaned in pain, the blade going deeper and deeper._

_Elsa saw her vision blurry with tears, and she heard her shallow breath and Anna’s whimpers of agony. Then, just as she felt something slick cover her hands, she looked down and saw that they were stained with blood. Anna’s blood._

_“All you do,” began a voice, and it sounded as if it was speaking inside of Elsa’s head. “is kill your little sister.”_

_Elsa maniacally turned left and right, searching for the source of the voice. But she found nothing. It was terribly familiar, and it made her blood run cold inside her veins._

_“You are a monster,” it went on. “Only a monster would be so cruel and selfish.”_

_Elsa shook her head frantically and tried to move forward, in order to prove the voice wrong and save Anna’s life. But it just made things worse. The sword kept piercing through Anna’s abdomen, and her little sister’s cries only grew louder and painful. “Anna!” Elsa exclaimed, tears of her own streaming down her face and dripping from her chin._

_It was excruciating and terribly unfair; how they had been so close moments before and yet, now, they were separated by an invisible wall, one that, if crossed, would have killed Anna. There was nothing Elsa could do to save her sister’s life._

_“Look at her,” the voice laughed evilly. “Look at the blood she’s spilling. All_ — _because of you.”_

_“No, stop!” Elsa screamed. She made sure not to move her feet, as she clutched her head in her hands. She clenched her teeth and raised her shoulders, as if protecting herself from harm. “Who are you?! And what have you done to my sister?!”_

_“Oh, Elsa,” the voice chuckled, as if deriding her. “What have_ you _done to your sister?”_

_Elsa didn’t have time to come up with a reply, as she was suddenly being pushed forward. “No, no,” she whispered. Elsa stumbled forward, and as a consequence, Anna yelped in pain, the blade possibly destroying the last ounce of life that was left inside of her. But as Elsa fell against her sister’s kneeling body_ — _the soil hard against her own knees, the air humid but at the same time dry, the sky grey and then black_ — _she made a horrible realization._

_Elsa’s left hand gripped Anna’s shoulder, as all of her little sister’s body shook with tremors. Anna whimpered her name, and then an apology, against her ear. When Elsa leaned back, enough to brush her nose against her sister’s, she breathed unevenly and gazed into Anna’s teal eyes. They no longer shone, no longer held the stars Elsa was so used to seeing inside of them. They lacked life, because that’s what had been taken away from her._

_And Elsa only understood that when she glanced down, and noticed that the hand holding the hilt of the sword_ — _which was now buried deep inside Anna’s abdomen_ — _was her own._

Elsa woke up gasping for air. She desperately clutched her heart, which hammered against her chest, and tried to steady her own breathing. It had been at least a week and a half since they had returned from their quest. It had been at least a week since she had had the first nightmare regarding this mysterious spirit, this evil voice. The first dream had been confusing, it had only filled her with anxiety and mostly dread. The images had been unclear, sliding at an inhumane pace at the forefront of her mind. The only things she remembered from that first dream were the sound of the spirit’s voice, its cruel words against her family and the Northuldra people, and the unshakeable feeling that it wasn’t just a terrible dream, but rather something _real_ that wanted to communicate with her through it.

Now, however, this second nightmare was as clear as day, painfully so. She thought she had lived the same thing — kissing Anna, and then, _killing_ her — in the first dream, but the sequence of the images were now more defined, and the words of the evil spirit still echoed heavily inside her mind.

Elsa sat up against the headboard, and she noticed a faint tingling around her wound. She ignored it successfully, and covered her head with her hands. Without notice, she began weeping, her sobs muffled by the palms of her hands. Her body still quivered with the ghostly aftertaste of Anna’s lips against hers, and her fingers still felt sticky with her sister’s warm blood.

Suddenly, she couldn’t breathe, for the air inside her bedroom was suffocating her. The evil spirit’s voice kept reminding her of what a monster she was, and her mind replayed that awful night she had struck Anna’s head with her powers. The memory was followed by an even worse one; the day at the fjord, Anna’s body frozen between her arms.

Elsa sobbed as she got out of bed, as quickly as she could and desperately so. She stumbled over her own feet, and didn’t even check her appearance as she got out of bed.

It was still early in the night. Midnight, at most. Her servants were asleep, and the hallway that led to her sister’s room was faintly illuminated by the stars outside. Elsa didn’t know which part of her told her it would be a good idea to rouse her sister from her sleep and disturb her, but she _needed_ to see Anna. Make sure that she was okay, that she didn’t have a sword plunged into her abdomen. That she was _alive_ and that Elsa hadn’t killed her with her own hands. However, as Elsa kept walking forward on wobbly legs and unsteady feet, she didn’t make it to Anna’s chamber.

She crumbled a few feet away from Anna’s bedroom door, her back sliding against the wall as she broke down crying, her whimpers and sob echoing in the quiet hallway. Elsa brought her knees up to her chest, placing her forehead against them and trying to stifle the sounds of her despair.

_You are a monster. All you do is harm Anna. All you have_ ever _done is harm her, one way or another._ Elsa tried to escape the voice inside her head, but it only got louder. She took her head in her hands and quivered, unable to stop the incessant flow of tears. _You are a monster. You are a monster. You are a monster. You are_ —

“Elsa? Oh, god, are you okay?!”

It was Anna’s frantic voice laced with concern that suddenly quietened the spirit’s voice inside her head. When Elsa timidly raised her head from between her knees, she sniffled and didn’t say a word. The sight of her sister standing above her was blurry due to her ice cold tears, but she could see that Anna was holding something in her left hand.

“Hey, hey. What happened? Why are you crying — outside my door?” Anna all but fell beside her, sitting as close to her as possible. She wrapped her right arm around Elsa’s shoulders and pulled her closer, giving her a side hug. Anna rubbed her forearms, holding her as tightly as she could. “Elsa?” Anna asked again.

Elsa buried her head in the crook of Anna’s neck and breathed in her scent. She smelled of—

“Why do you smell of chocolate?” Elsa suddenly asked, her voice hoarse from all the crying. Her sobs subsided and her tears turned into light sniffles. She felt Anna shake against her, the sound of her giggles close to her ear.

“You know I get cravings from time to time,” Anna justified. Elsa couldn’t see her because of their position, but she knew her sister was smiling; she could hear it in her voice. “When I was sure that everyone was asleep, I sneaked to the kitchen and picked some chocolate. Do you want some?”

Elsa leaned back and looked into Anna’s teal eyes. The only light that shone upon them was coming from the starry sky outside the window in front of them, and Elsa smiled. There, inside Anna’s beautiful irises, shone that sparkling _life_ that the Anna in her nightmare had lacked.

Elsa only nodded, and Anna smiled brightly at her. She disentangled from their embrace, only to break the tablet of chocolate in two uneven halves. Of course, Anna happily handed her the _bigger_ one.

“Thank you,” Elsa said, finally finding the courage in her to speak. Anna said nothing, only looked at her with the softest of smiles. And when she looked back at her, Elsa noticed something unusual in her stare; something that she had seen _only_ in the gazes exchanged between _lovers_. Elsa swallowed thickly and looked away, a blush coloring her cheeks. Between the love struck look inside Anna’s eyes, Elsa still recognized the familiarity and concern inside of them. What she had found in them was new, but she came to the conclusion — with a _deep_ blush in her cheeks — that it felt good to be looked at that way. Elsa could feel a warmth spread from her heart to the her fingertips. The week that followed their return from the forest and, as a consequence, that followed Anna’s confession, they hadn’t spoken much to each other. Elsa had blamed it on their busy schedules, but she knew that it was half of the truth. Anna had seemed slightly distant, and Elsa worried it was because she had rejected her. When they talked to each other, it was difficult for Anna to meet her eyes. And, above all, they usually spoke more about politics and Arendelle and less about what had happened at the cavern that night. Elsa didn’t know if she should bring it up — right now was _certainly_ not the right moment — but, perhaps, she would soon find the courage and have _that_ conversation with her sister. 

“So,” Anna said after a while. She finished munching on her piece of chocolate, swallowed, and asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Elsa stared at her fiddling hands. “I don’t know. I’m sorry, Anna.”

“It’s okay,” Anna reassured her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I just—,” she sighed quietly, seeming unsure for a moment. “I just want to make sure that you’re okay. Seeing you so distraught reminded me of that night we spent inside the cavern.”

Elsa cursed Anna for being so intuitive. She knew her too well. “I—,” she stammered, feeling her throat close up with a lump. The images from her nightmare returned, and she shuddered.

“Hey, it’s okay. I don’t want to push you. It’s okay,”

Elsa felt Anna’s stare on her as she pondered for one second. “I killed you,” she began with a whisper. When she saw confusion in her sister’s eyes, she explained better. “I had a nightmare, and in this nightmare I killed you with a sword.”

“Oh,” was Anna’s response. She seemed to lack words.

“And there was—,” she paused. She didn’t want to worry Anna. Telling her that the evil spirit was back would only concern her.

But Anna had already understood. “Is…was the — the _spirit_ also in this dream?”

Elsa swallowed and nodded. “Yes, it was. It told me horrible things and—,” she took a deep breath. Anna rubbed her shoulders with a soothing hand. “—a sword pierced you. I tried to help you, but if I only as much as took a step toward you, the blade would — it would only go deeper and cause you pain. And then…the spirit just told me that — that the only thing that I do is kill you and that I am a _monster._ I tried to ask the spirit to reveal themselves, to tell me who they were, but they only pushed me forward and I — I fell against you. And the sword—,” Elsa shook her head as she ducked, tears once again streaming down her reddened cheeks. “—I was holding the hilt of the sword, Anna. I _killed_ you. I know it was just a dream, but _still_ — it felt so real. I woke up thinking I had lost you,”

Elsa broke down, weeping softly. Anna cooed, fully taking her in her arms as Elsa slightly turned her body towards her and fell between her open arms. Anna held her securely, and Elsa couldn’t help but notice that, with time, Anna had only grown stronger. The arms around her back were firm and taut, and the embrace only made her feel safe.

“Shh. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m okay,” Anna whispered against her. Elsa’s arms around her sister’s back tightened and she placed her head against Anna’s chest. The soft thumping of her heart reminded Elsa that _this_ was reality, not her _dream_. Anna’s heart was beating, and speaking words of constant comfort as Elsa listened to it. “Do you want to sleep in my room tonight?”

“I don’t want to bother you—,”

“Oh, shush,” Anna waved her hand at her. “You _will_ never be a burden to me.”

When Elsa leaned back and looked up just as Anna looked down at her, their noses brushed and, at the same moment, they both realized their close proximity. Elsa took a shaky breath, her cerulean eyes involuntarily falling down to glance at her sister’s lips. She felt Anna’s hands tighten their grip around her hips and Elsa instantly clutched the loose fabric in the back of Anna’s nightgown. The more time passed, the more Elsa felt a blush cover her tear stained cheeks. She willed herself to pull away, because while Anna was sure of her feelings for her, Elsa was still terribly _confused_. She had liked their first kiss, as unexpected as it was, but Anna was still her little _sister._ The sister she cared about and loved so deeply that she would sacrifice herself for her; Anna had done the same for her almost four years ago. Anna was the sister she desperately wanted to protect from harm, but for years, protecting her from perils had also meant protecting her from her own self.

Elsa slowly put distance between their faces and she tried to calm down her breathing. Anna looked just as winded. “I’m sorry,” Anna quickly apologized, sounding sheepish and ashamed, as she hesitantly took her hands off her sister.

“It’s okay,” Elsa tried to smile. Anna still didn’t meet her eyes and got to her feet, offering her a hand. Elsa gladly took it. As they walked the small distance towards the younger sister’s bedroom, Anna tried to let go of her hand, but Elsa held on, silently telling her that it was okay; that they could hold each other’s hands, if she wanted.

When they got into bed, under the sheets Anna was tense and shy. She gave Elsa her space, perhaps for fear of doing the wrong thing. Elsa felt her heart break lightly; Anna’s selflessness still astounded her. _I don’t deserve you_ , she thought for a moment, but it went away as soon as Anna timidly reached out for her. They smiled shyly at each other, and Elsa relished in the feeling of Anna’s strong arms wrapping around her body and holding her tightly as they cuddled close. Elsa sighed happily, nuzzling her face against Anna’s neck and letting her fingers run along her sister’s clothed back.

“Thank you,” Elsa whispered after a while. When Anna didn’t respond right away, Elsa almost thought that she had fallen asleep.

“You know I will always be there for you, Elsa. No matter how hard it gets, you can always count on me. My door is _always_ open for you.”

Elsa kissed the patch of skin that connected her sister’s neck to her jawline, and she felt Anna lightly shudder between her arms. She entangled their legs and, with a blush on her cheeks, she said something that would always be true, no matter how confused she was about her feelings for Anna.

“I _love_ you,”

Anna’s hands stilled against her waist. Elsa didn’t know she was holding her breath until her sister finally replied, the smile clear in her voice.

“I love _you_ , too, Elsa.” 


	11. Chapter 10

**WHEN** the hilt of the sword slipped between her finger, and the blade clattered loudly on the ground, Anna raised her arms and surrendered to her teacher. She was breathing heavily as the corner of her lips slightly turned upwards.

“You’re getting better,” Oskar started. “But you should never let your guard down. Always be ready for another attack from your enemy. Always be prepared, Anna.”

“I know, I know,” Anna said, ducking her head in embarrassment. “I’m just…tired. I’m sorry. We can try again,”

Oskar paused, briefly looked her up and down, then nodded once. As they readied themselves for another round, the teacher asked, “Is there something on your mind?”

Anna parried a low blow and counterattacked easily. A bead of sweat trickled down her right temple. “What? No,” she immediately answered. She knew it was a lie. There was a _lot_ going on inside of her ingenuous brain, however it wasn’t like she could speak about it with someone.

Oskar, as intelligent as he was, saw right through her. “Only a distracted person would fight like this,” he observed, right as he managed to disarm his student for the third time in a row. Anna groaned as her sword fell once again. She slowly picked it up, and huffed out a deep breath. The spring sun shone brightly above their heads, and Anna moved her head from side to side, her bones cracking in relief. When she had a stable grip on the hilt, she positioned herself _en garde_.

“Being a queen is certainly not easy, Oskar,” she teased. Her teacher raised his eyebrows suggestively, as if he wasn’t talking about her duties as the queen of Arendelle. Anna ignored it successfully and managed to catch him off guard, aiming a hard blow at his side. Her sword clung against his shield and he groaned slightly, frowning in concentration. Anna managed to last more than three minutes this round, but it ended with her kneeling on the floor, the tip of his blade aimed at her chin as she surrendered for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

“You know I’m not talking about that,” Oskar picked up their conversation where they’ve left it off.

“Then I don’t know what you are talking about, because, as I told you before, there’s _nothing_ in my mind,” she insisted, throwing a playful glare his way. He shrugged, and then motioned for her to gather her sword and commence another round. They still had a few hours to practice before darkness would fall.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, your Majesty,” he said light heartedly, probably making fun of her. Anna rolled her eyes, although she wasn’t really annoyed at him. Then, she focused on their next round as their sword collided with a loud noise. This time, Anna gave her all, disregarding completely the quivering of her muscles as her whole body shook with exhaustion. Sword fighting was strenuous, it consumed almost all of her physical energy, but it was definitely the only way to cool off. She loved afternoons spent learning from the best teacher she had ever had, because time passed, the clouds chased each other in the sky, the sun warmed their exercising bodies and yet, despite all the fatigue and work she still had to endure in order to become a better fighter, it was all worth it. And, after all, it was the only activity that kept her mind from wondering about Elsa.

Their sisterhood had suffered a slight strain after Anna had unceremoniously confessed her feelings to her older sister. Anna knew Elsa was trying to act as if nothing had happened between them, as if Anna hadn’t actually _stolen_ her first kiss. As if her younger sister hadn’t grown romantic feelings _for_ her older sibling. Anna was trying to give her as much space and as much time she needed in order to accept Anna’s feelings. She didn’t expect her to feel the same — although the thought of Elsa feeling the same way was both thrilling and terrifying — but she had also never meant to feel this way either.

It had all happened so unexpectedly. A cloud of doubt and uncertainty had hung over Anna for months, ever since Elsa had died. But when their lips had touched that night, when Anna had kissed Elsa, it was as if everything was clear. All of a sudden, Anna _knew_ what she had been feeling all along. And even though she felt ashamed, and terribly guilty for feeling this way, she couldn’t help it. A magnetic pull constantly pushed her towards her sister, and it felt wrong to keep ignoring it, even though it was the only thing she could do in order to not hurt Elsa.

Anna cursed under her breath when she lost another round. Oskar had been right; only a _distracted_ person could fight this horribly.

“Is it a heart problem?” Oskar suddenly asked, placing his sword back in its sheath.

Anna raised her head and confused, said, “Huh?”

“The thing that is distracting you. Is there _someone_ in your mind?” he wiggled his eyebrows evocatively.

As Anna prepared to let another lie roll off her tongue, a tiny voice inside her brain asked, _is it that obvious?_

“There isn’t, Oskar,” she smiled, shaking her head and picking up her sword.

Just as she prepared to put her fighting tools back where they belonged, she absentmindedly looked up at the windows that overlooked the courtyard. Her breath hitched when she noticed a person — _Elsa?_ — watching her, their gazes meeting briefly. Before Anna could understand who it was, although she was almost one hundred percent it had been her sister, the person hiding behind the window quickly moved away and let the curtain fall back into its place. She thought she saw a glimpse of platinum blonde hair and a single braid swung over one shoulder, but that might be her mind making things up. Elsa was probably busy. She wouldn’t waste her time in watching her little sister train in sword fighting.

Anna sighed and went back to her task, oblivious to the fact that her supposition had been true. Little did she know, Elsa had been right behind that window, and was now against the wall beside it, trying to calm down her racing heartbeat because she had been _caught_ staring.

————————————————

Anna let the following days begin with the dawn and let them end when the moon was high up in the sky. She spent most of her time training, since Elsa seemed to have taken a preference at relieving her little sister’s politic life. Elsa was the one to attend council meetings and read through all the paperwork. Anna was too afraid to confront her, albeit she was silently thankful that she now had more time to focus on improving her sword fighting skills.

When March ended and April began, the weather finally showed signs of spring. Anna loved the flowers sprouting in the courtyard, the slight ivy growing in between the cracks on the walls of the dwellings. Wherever she went, life seemed to be blooming in every single nook. No matter how unusual her relationship with Elsa was at the moment, she still felt excited at the prospect of spending another spring with her older sister. Months ago, the thought of her birthday, which was now quickly approaching, had been frightening. Now, she couldn’t wait to turn twenty two.

“Hey Anna, catch!”

“Oof!” Anna struggled to keep both her book and the ball between her hands. Just when she was sure she had a firm grip on the two objects, she looked up and saw her two best friends smiling warmly at her. “Guys,” she laughed, walking towards them. “You _know_ that I’m clumsy. You can’t just throw a ball at me like that!”

“Yeah, but it’s a _catching_ ball! You should catch it when people throw it to you,” Olaf explained happily, raising his twig arms above his head, excitedly jumping up and down. Kristoff snorted beside him.

“It was my idea,” Kristoff said. He didn’t sound apologetic at all, and Anna playfully glared at him. “You should have seen your face! Also, you looked like you were lost in Daydreaming land, so I did you a favor,”

His eyes were twinkling with mirth, but there was also curiosity deep within them. Anna tried to dodge an interrogation by changing subject. “What are you guys doing out here?” she asked. Her high pitched voice made her internally cringe, but she tried to look as normal and as unaffected as possible. Kristoff raised his brows, but Olaf quickly spoke before he could. _Bless that snowman._

“We were playing with the catching ball you now have in your hands. You could join us if you want?”

Two pairs of hopeful eyes looked at her. Anna stuttered a response. “Uh — actually, I came here to read? I didn’t know you guys would be out here, but I don’t mind some company.”

“Oh,” Olaf’s twig arms came down to rest beside his body. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure,” she smiled reassuringly at the snowman before looking up at Kristoff. He was staring at her with an unreadable look in his face, but right now, she didn’t have neither the time nor the will to face him and all of his worries about her. “I’m just going to — you know, sit down over there and read.”

She threw them a last broad smile before walking in between them and towards the nearby tree. Anna sat down against its bark and under its offering shadow, a reprieve from the warmth of the sun. She released a sigh of relief she didn’t know she had been holding in all this time, and opened her book. She found the page she had stopped reading the night before, and with all her might, she tried to concentrate on the words written down on the page in front of her. Anna tuned out her friends’ laugh, and let the sound of a nearby stream set the mood for her. The wind danced between the branches above her, and for quite some time, her mind fully submerged in the story narrated between the papers of her book. From time to time, she would reposition her legs, for keeping them under her lap made her feet go numb after a while. After one hour passed, Anna finally found a comfortable position — crossed legs and her book lying in front of her — and unconsciously played with the green grass; tearing it up, throwing it away and then repeating the gesture. Then, just as she was getting to the good part of the story—

“Hey Elsa!”

Olaf’s voice announced her older sister’s arrival and, somehow, her blood froze in her veins. Anna quickly tore her eyes away from the book and turned her head towards the right. There Elsa stood, donning a perfect meadow green dress, hugging her curves and, with the sun setting behind her, making her look like an angel. Anna tried to swallow, but her throat was dry. She didn’t even cringe when she thought that at the moment, her sister was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen.

“Hi, Olaf,” Elsa shyly smiled at the snowman, who immediately hugged her legs. “Kristoff,” she greeted him with one nod. Then, her eyes fell on Anna, who had observed everything from her spot against the tree, and almost imperceptibly, her smile diminished.

“Anna,”

Anna forced the best reassuring grin on her face. “Hey,”

She tried to ignore the curious and confused glance Kristoff sent her way as Elsa timidly asked, “Could you give us a moment?”

Olaf seemed perplexed as well, but soon relented. “Of course,” Kristoff answered for the both of them. “Come on, Olaf. I bet I can reach the castle before you do!”

Olaf lit up, competitiveness all over his features. “Don’t be so full of yourself, Kristoff!”

Anna and Elsa shared a laugh as they watched their friends run down the hill, their voices becoming a mere echo the longer they built the distance between them and the two sisters. Then, not even ten seconds later, Anna was alone with her sister, and nervousness settled at the bottom of her stomach. When she looked back at Elsa, she was surprised to see her older sister already staring at her.

Elsa visibly swallowed as she approached her younger sister. “May we talk?” she asked with a small voice.

Anna was caught off guard by the formality. “Oh. Yes! Yes, of course,” she replied with a welcoming smile. She shuffled to her left, creating some space to her right. Elsa gingerly sat beside her, their knees briefly touching.

A moment of silence followed, before Elsa looked down at the object lying in front of Anna’s crossed legs. “What were you doing?”

“Oh, just reading a book to kill time,” she shrugged.

Elsa looked to her and shyly smiled. “Great,”

Anna nodded as well. “Cool,” she said, her nerves now fully showing as she fiddled with her fingers on her lap. She averted her gaze, then looked up again just as Elsa looked down at her own hands.

“Anna, I wanted to speak with you about something. About… _us_ ,” she started conversationally.

Anna gulped and licked her dry lips. Her teal eyes widened as she tried to control her racing heartbeat. “Oh,” she replied dumbly. “What about…us?”

Elsa still kept her gaze glued to the ground when she spoke softly. “I feel like…I have hurt you. If I did, I didn’t mean to. And I feel like I owe you an apology,”

Anna was taken aback. Elsa apologizing? _No way_ , Anna thought as she quickly said, “What? Elsa, _no_ , you…” she paused and took a deep breath. “This isn’t your fault. If anything, it is _my_ fault,” Elsa tried to object at that, but Anna raised a hand in order to stop her before she could say anything. “No, listen,” she said calmly, softly. “These… _feelings_ , should have never appeared in the first place. I felt like I needed to tell you because I owed you an explanation for…what happened that _night_. And we promised each other that there would be no more secrets between us, so I wanted to be upright with you. I don’t expect you to feel the same, and maybe telling you the truth wasn’t so clever, but at least I have nothing to hide from you now.”

Elsa silently looked at her, her cerulean eyes sparkling with something Anna couldn’t quite decipher. When her older sister kept saying nothing, Anna went on, “And Elsa, I’m sorry for making things awkward between us. I admit I kind of was avoiding you these weeks…but it was for a good reason. I wanted to give you time and space in order to…you _know_ , soak in all of this. All of my…feelings for you,” Anna blushed deeply as she paused to collect her thoughts.

Elsa spoke next. “I appreciate that you told me, Anna. About your feelings,” there was the hint of a smile on her face, a gratitude swimming deep inside her eyes that made Anna’s breath hitch. “And… I’m _sorry_ too. For being distant. I should have reached out sooner,”

As soon as Elsa finished apologizing, Anna placed a hand over hers and reassured her immediately. “No, no. It’s okay. I just…don’t want this to come between us. I don’t want to lose you because of _this_.”

Elsa stared at her for a quiet moment. “Me neither,” she whispered.

“Great…” Anna said just as quietly. She was still holding onto Elsa’s hand, and when she realized, she let go as slowly and as subtly as possible. Their conversation seemed to be over, and there was something akin to disappointment growing inside her chest.

Then, Elsa dared to ask, “But — are you…going to be _okay_?”

However, just as she uttered those words, Kai’s voice sounded before Anna could give an answer.

“Queen Elsa?”

They both started visibly, and Kai apologized quickly. “Yes, Kai?” Elsa looked up at him and Anna released a deep breath.

“The council is waiting for you,”

Elsa seemed to realize something. “Oh, I almost forgot about that meeting. Thank you, Kai,” she gave him a smile and got to her feet. She was probably late for this said meeting, and Anna didn’t know whether she was glad or sad about it cutting their time short. Then, Elsa looked down at her and offered her an hesitant smile. “I got to go,” she said, sounding guilty and apologetic.

Anna swallowed, surprised for there to be a lump in her throat. When she spoke, she hoped Elsa couldn’t hear the hurt in her voice. “It’s okay, go. I’ll see you later,” she gave her a tight lipped smile and held her stare for as long as Elsa did.

Then, Elsa nodded slowly. “Okay. See you later,” she waved her hand and Anna did the same, although her fingers shook a bit.

Anna watched their retreating backs, the wind brushing her copper hair and her skin. Then, a few moments later, she was alone with just herself and the nature around her keeping her company. Anna sighed, picked up her book, and tried to resume reading. However, there was this pulsating pain inside her chest, located near her heart, that she couldn’t quite shake off. She run a hand through her bangs in a frustrated manner, and then closed her eyes as she let the book fall from her hands. Anna placed her head against the bark and slouched. She gazed upwards at the dancing branches of the tree; she felt so disconnected from the world around her. And as she pondered over it, with Elsa’s words echoing inside her brain, she had never felt like this before.

Anna played with the ends of her twin braids and she groaned in frustration when she felt her eyes brim with tears. She furiously rubbed her hands against her eyes, desperately trying to stop the flow of her tears, but in vain. Then, she breathed in deeply, trying to calm down her heartbeat, and attempted to put her current pain into words.

It was true; Anna had never felt like this before, but she had _read_ of what this felt like. And all of this felt like rejection.

It felt like _heartbreak._


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter of the fic so far! So much is happening in this one ;) As always, if you'd like to leave a comment and/or kudos, it would mean the world to me. I love talking to you guys because you are all so sweet.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enoy :)

**PREPARATIONS** for the celebratory ball were set to begin the second week of April and the sisters mutually decided that Anna would take care of it on her own; if she needed help, though, Elsa would have no problem lending her a hand.

The celebration in question was nothing out of the ordinary; Elsa’s return to Arendelle and her cooperative queendom alongside the other queen, who was no other than her own sister, Anna. The invitations had already been sent out and the occasion was quickly approaching. Lots of princes and dukes, princesses and duchesses would gather here, right in this very ballroom, where Anna stood with her hands clasped and her eyes roaming all over the spacious chamber. As promised, Elsa was taking dancing lessons in order to improve herself, and also because lots of _admirers_ — Anna’s words — would probably want to dance with one of the two queens. Anna just wasn’t sure she would be ready to see her sister _dance_ in another man’s arms.

“Is everything alright, Anna?”

Her sister’s voice echoed inside the ballroom and Anna turned around. She watched with a small, nervous smile as Elsa walked towards her. Anna tried not to let the sway of her hips distract her too much. “Yes,” she replied. “I’m just a little… _nervous_ ,”

“Don’t be,” Elsa said softly, finally reaching her sister’s side. “I’m sure it will be amazing,” Elsa’s hand came up to rest soothingly on Anna’s shoulder and the younger sibling took a deep breath.

“I really hope so,” she smiled lightly. They stayed silent as each one of them took in the various decorations that had been set up over the last two weeks. May had just begun, accompanied by the warm and welcoming weather. Hopefully, it would hold out until Friday night, so that they could have a wonderful celebration, both inside and outside the castle’s walls.

When Anna let out a slightly agitated sigh, she immediately felt Elsa’s eyes on her. The older sibling didn’t utter a word, although Anna could feel her concern just by the firm grip she had around her shoulder. Ever since their talk by the tree, Elsa had been extra careful with her touches, but she hadn’t limited them to the point where it would be awkward and unusual. After all, their sisterhood, after the Great Thaw, had always been somewhat physical — partly because Anna liked the contact between them, after having been deprived of it for so long. Therefore, suddenly interrupting it would probably make it worse. And even though it hurt Anna to see Elsa calculate every word and every touch, it still felt nice to have her by her side. Worse things could have happened after her declaration — and Anna was just happy that none of them had come true.

Still, there was always this underlying tension whenever they were alone, but when Olaf or Kristoff were there with them, it almost felt like nothing had happened. As if Anna hadn’t jeopardized their sisterhood forever.

“Dancing is fun,” Elsa said out of the blue. Anna escaped from her thoughts and looked up at her sister’s face with a hint of mirth and amusement inside her teal eyes.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because I’ve learned a lot and — dancing is fun. It’s…freeing, somehow,”

“That is true,” Anna commented with a smile, which only got bigger once Elsa met her gaze. “I’m glad you have finally realized it.”

“Well, better late than never, right?”

Anna paused momentarily. “Right,” she stated quietly. Then, “Hey, Elsa, could you maybe add some of your _touch_ to this ballroom? Add some ice or something,”

“Sure,” Elsa smiled, as if she were grateful that Anna had asked.

Soon, snowflake decorations were all over the room — from the ceiling to the chandeliers hanging from it. Anna watched in awe as Elsa graciously sauntered around the chamber, her fingers making the slightest moves and coordinating the creations as if she were the best conductor in the world. Watching Elsa use her ice magic would never stop surprising Anna and the younger sister admired the aftermath as if Elsa had used her powers in front of her for the very first time.

“That was wonderful, Elsa,” Anna commented, her lips parted and her eyes following the last trace of magic before it crystallized into a snowflake.

“Thank you,” Elsa replied with a warm blush on her cheeks.

They stood a few feet away from each other. Anna noticed that Elsa’s posture was stiff and her shoulders seemed tense. When her teal eyes met her sister’s cerulean ones, Anna blushed and looked away, unable to hold her intense stare for too long. She fiddled with her fingers and tried to come up with an excuse to leave without it sounding rude. Then, just as she opened her mouth to speak, Elsa beat her to it and stepped forward, a tentative hand reaching out for Anna, its palm facing the ceiling.

“Let’s dance,” she suggested, her voice trembling with nerves although the shy smile in her face told Anna how much it would truly mean to her. Her fingers shook lightly and Anna stared at the offered hand for a moment.

“I, erm, actually,” she tentatively took a step backwards and ducked her head. “I have lots of things to do, still. I better go check on them.”

Elsa seemed momentarily crestfallen and disappointed, as her hand now hang aloof in the air. She took a step towards Anna, a clear sign that she wanted to change her mind, but Anna simply _couldn’t_ dance with her. Not now. Not when they were alone. “Wait—,”

“I got to go, I’ll see you later,” Anna hurriedly stated, swiftly turning around and making a beeline for the door that led to the hallway. The more distance she put between her and her sister, the more she felt awful about rejecting Elsa, even though it was for the best.

Anna felt Elsa’s disappointment for the remainder of the day.

—————————————————

Friday night came sooner than expected.

Anna sat in front of her vanity, staring at her own reflection and analyzing every single little detail about her appearance — from her updo bun and its green ribbon, to the neckline of her emerald gown. She had decided to let her shoulders be bare for the late spring night, the warm air seeping through the ajar window already brushing against the nape of her neck. Anna knew she didn’t have to worry about tonight. She could hear the sounds of music and chatter coming from the ballroom in the floor below. At one point, a loud laugh echoed in the castle, somehow matching the rhythm of the song that was currently being played by the musicians. And Anna wasn’t worried. It was the first time that Arendelle celebrated something other than her coronation. She should be over the moon, because Elsa was here, and all of her other friends were here as well. Everything was finally where it should be. But still, looking at herself in the mirror, she could see that something was missing. Anna didn’t seem to feel whole, to feel complete; not even with the sounds of celebration coming from downstairs.

Anna sighed quietly, placing her bare elbows on top of the vanity and resting her forehead against her palms. She took a deep breath, breathing in the cool air and listening to the faint and almost inaudible sound of the water crashing against the shores of the fjord and cuddling the boats at the dock.

“Anna?”

A knock sounded, before a face appeared from behind the door. Anna looked up and met Kristoff’s eyes through the mirror.

“Hey,”

“Hey, feisty pants,” he smiled, letting himself inside Anna’s bedroom and closing the door behind him. Seeing Kristoff wear an outfit similar to the one he had worn to her coronation — that is, seeing Kristoff _dressed up_ — was still a bit destabilizing. It was a funny sight; his blonde hair slicked back instead of being in their usually ruffled up state. There was a time where Anna would have felt her heart flutter upon seeing him wear such royal clothes. Now, it only clenched, making Anna wish she could have feelings for Kristoff and make things simpler for all of them instead of complicating them with her feelings for Elsa. “What are you doing up here? It’s not the same without you down there,” he said, walking slowly towards his seated friends.

Anna dropped her gaze to her fiddling hands on her lap. “I don’t know,” she replied truthfully. “I just needed a break from everything,”

It wasn’t that she hated parties and ballrooms filled with strangers — or crowds, for that matter. It was just that she had thought she could have fun for one night without having her feelings for her sister get in the way. But then, a prince from Weselton — of _all_ the guests invited to the celebration — had asked Elsa to dance, and of course, her sister had accepted. The prince — a tall, built blonde haired man — had taken Elsa’s hand in his and had wrapped his other arm around the queen’s waist, leading her to the dance floor. Anna had watched the pair from the side of the ballroom, sipping a glass of wine. She had felt the burning of the alcohol slide down her throat, but now that she thought about it, that scorching feeling must have been _jealousy_. She had hated the way that prince looked at her sister, as if he had already courted her. And she had hated the way Elsa laughed timidly at his jokes, which probably weren’t even that funny. Anna had to see this coming. It was a ball, after all. People were supposed to dance. _They_ were supposed to dance with their guests. So, in a way, she had expected to feel jealous. She just hadn’t expected it to hurt this bad.

“Hey,” Kristoff placed a hand on her shoulder, a look of mild concern grazing her face. “Are you okay?”

Anna met his worried brown eyes and forced a smile on her face. She tried to erase the image of Elsa dancing with that prince and said, “Yes, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Kristoff seemed perplexed by that. Then, he kneeled beside her and shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said nonchalantly. He tugged at the tight fabric around his neck and his grimace brought a genuine smile on Anna’s face. “You just seem sad, that’s all,” he added as an afterthought.

“I’m not sad,” she lied. But she couldn’t tell him the truth, because then she would have to tell him the _whole_ truth. “It’s just — been a while, you know? Before Elsa’s death, we had a lot of parties and then it just — _stopped_. And I have to get used to these things once again, that’s all,”

Kristoff stared at her for a moment, contemplating whether to believe her or not. He seemed to think she was telling the truth, and nodded. “Okay,” he said with a lopsided smile. Kristoff sat on the floor and brought his knees close to his chest, his arms going around his legs. “You’re right. It’s been a while,” he commented quietly.

Anna nodded and then stared at nothing in particular. They both seemed keen on listening to the sounds coming from below, each one of them lost in their own thoughts. Anna couldn’t help but go back to Elsa dancing with the prince, and bitterly realized that while she had to get used to parties, she also needed to get used to men _courting_ her sister, because that was the reality. And she needed to accept that.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Kristoff touched her thigh in order to catch her attention. Anna swallowed the impending frown and looked down at her friend.

“What is it?” she asked neutrally.

“I came here to check on you, but also — your sister is looking for you.”

Anna tried to control her blush as she asked, “What? Why? Is she okay?”

“Oh, yes, she’s okay,” Kristoff smirked. “She danced with a lot of princes tonight, I’m sure she’s okay. But — I was with Olaf, and we just happened to stumble upon each other. She asked me about you, but I told her that I didn’t know where you were,” he recounted, dramatically moving his hands from side to side. “So, then I asked her about all the man she’s danced with and she just told me — _nice_ ,” he mimicked Elsa’s voice, and it would have made Anna laugh, but she managed to only crack a delighted smile. “That’s it. Men court her all night and she just says that it was nice. Your sister is weird sometimes,”

Anna shook her head with a light chuckle. “Kristoff, get to the point,” she urged.

“Right,” he giggled. “That’s it, though. After that, she just asked me if I was sure about your whereabouts, and I confirmed that I hadn’t seen you around in a while, so. Then she just left. I don’t know where she is, I just know that she’s looking for you. It seemed…pretty _urgent_.”

“What do you mean?” Anna furrowed her brows. Had she done something wrong? Had her jealousy been that obvious?

“I don’t know, Anna. Women are weird and I just can tell you that she looked — anxious?” he raised his shoulders as Anna looked at him, waiting for him to tell her more. “I don’t know, feisty pants. I suggest _you_ go look for her and talk.”

Anna nodded and then looked back at the mirror. She noticed with a grimace that there was a blush forming on her cheeks, and hoped that Kristoff wouldn’t comment on it. Then, she thanked her friend, gave him a grateful smile and left her bedroom.

Downstairs, the ballroom buzzed with life and celebration. People all around the chamber stopped her just to say how grateful and happy they were now that the two sisters were finally reunited. Anna thanked all of them as quickly as she could, and when stumbling upon Kai and Gerda, she kindly asked them if they had seen the other queen. Gerda had not, but Kai informed her that she was probably outside on the balcony. Anna nodded and then, once again, left the ballroom and walked down the hallway. Her footsteps echoed with each step she took towards the open doors of the balcony and suddenly, just as she caught a glimpse of a silhouette, her heartbeat picked up the pace inside her ribcage and she faltered. The sound of the water was now clearer, and the crickets chirped happily. Anna paused right in front of the balcony and indeed, Elsa was out there, her back facing her younger sister. Elsa was leaning on the railing and from the way her face was angled, she was probably looking up at the sky and at the moon shining brightly in the night. Anna held her own hands as she took a deep, steadying breath and walked out, letting her presence known with a clear of her throat.

When their eyes met, Anna shyly smiled and said, “Hey,”

Elsa greeted her with a much smaller smile. “Hi,” she uttered softly.

The ice white dress her older sister was wearing was one of her beautiful creations and Anna marveled at the intricate and almost imperceptible snowflake details. The dress hugged her hips gently and the younger sibling momentarily lost herself in the soft flow of Elsa’s skirt. Her shoulders were bare as well, and while Anna’s were sprinkled with a constellation of freckles, Elsa’s were flawless, the porcelain skin tempting Anna to touch them. Yet, she refrained and stood beside her sister, leaning with her back against the railing. Elsa mimicked her and offered her a hesitant smile. Their arms brushed and Anna felt a shiver run along her spine. She hoped Elsa didn’t notice it.

“So,” she began. “Kristoff said you were looking for me?”

Elsa looked across them and nodded slightly. Anna admired her platinum blonde hair; she had decided to wear it down instead of donning it in its usual single braid over the shoulder.

“Yes…I was. I just wanted to…—,” Elsa paused and briefly glanced at her. “—make sure that you were okay.”

Anna blinked rapidly before snorting. “I am okay.”

Elsa nodded but she didn’t seem convinced. “It’s just that…I thought that dancing with those princes might have hurt you, so I wanted to apologize and—,”

“It’s okay,” Anna interrupted her, touching her wrist briefly. A blush covered her cheeks as a smile bloomed on her lips. “You shouldn’t feel... —you should dance with whoever you want to dance with. Just because of…—,” Anna bit her tongue before something embarrassing could escape from her mouth. She didn’t need to remind Elsa of her feelings. “—you don’t have to stop dancing with other people because of me. I _am_ okay, I promise. I just…want you to be _happy_ , Elsa.”

Elsa stared at her with an unreadable look inside her cerulean irises and Anna held her stare for as long as she could, before dropping her gaze and looking across them, at the painting on the wall in front of them. There was a moment of silence, where they both listened to the muffled music coming from the not too far ballroom, and watched as a few guests walked down the hallway. Then,

“Can I ask you something?” Elsa asked out of the blue.

Anna offered her an encouraging smile. “Yes, go ahead.”

Elsa seemed to hesitate, before asking, “Why are you so nice to me?”

Anna was caught off guard by the weird question and, confused, asked back, “Why wouldn’t I be? You’re my _sister_.”

The word tasted bitter on her tongue but she kept her eyes on Elsa, who seemed unable to grasp on the fact that Anna, her _sibling_ , was being nice to her. “I know, but…” she paused, struggling for the right words. "—I just read this book where it said that getting over someone takes time and that spending a lot of time with them is counterproductive because it only makes it worse.”

_That is awfully correct, dear sister,_ Anna thought. But one thing had sounded foreign in what her sister had said, and she chuckled briefly, before avoiding the true meaning of her words and asking, “You read…about _love_?” there was mirth and a hint of laugh in her voice.

Elsa let out a mortified giggle as she shook her head. A blush appeared on the fair skin of her cheeks. “Yes...” she admitted, almost ashamed of her confession. “I am curious sometimes and I just…wanted to discover more about it, so I guess that…—yes, I read some novels about love.”

They stare at each other for a quiet moment before bursting into quiet and timid laughs at the same time. Their shoulders brushed and Anna enjoyed the simplicity of this little moment she got to share with her older sister. Anna felt as if gravity were pulling her towards Elsa, and she slightly leaned towards her, their sides touching now. Then, she pondered over Elsa’s question, and knew that it was tormenting her older sibling, therefore decided to give her an honest answer.

“I can’t just… _cut_ you out of my life, Elsa,” she replied, not meeting her eyes as she continued. “You are my sister and despite everything…—I love you. No matter what. I love spending time with you and being nice to you and just…I love being your little sister. You make me feel protected and special and just…—I could never shut you out. It would just… _hurt_ more. Living my life without you would be a lot more painful than…you know,” she shrugged, not wanting to finish her sentence. When she turned towards Elsa, she caught her staring at her with an expression in her eyes she couldn’t quite decipher. Anna sighed, feeling completely vulnerable beside her sister. Then, just as she was looking at her own feet, unable to look Elsa in the eyes, she heard movement from beside her. When she looked up, she noticed that Elsa had detached herself from the railing and was now standing in front of Anna. The sight momentarily rendered her breathless and speechless; Elsa truly was _gorgeous_.

Then, silently, Elsa extended her arm outwards and reached for Anna’s hand with hers. She smiled shyly, a blush rendering her cheeks a cute pink, and Anna stared at her with a perplexed but delighted expression.

“May I have this dance?”

As Anna registered what her sister had just asked, she noticed that a song was about to end while the next one was set to begin. She parted her lips, ready to refuse. “Elsa…”

But Elsa raised her chin and feigned a reproachful glare. However, there was mirth in her voice when she spoke next. “Come on, you can’t refuse again. You did it the other day and I don’t accept a no for an answer this time.”

Anna chuckled briefly before letting her gaze fall to the offered hand. A hand that she knew was soft, she knew had the ability to create snow and the most beautiful creations with ice. A hand that had held hers countless of times before. Anna knew that she couldn’t win this time; Elsa had put herself on the line, and knew that it would mean a lot to her if only she said yes. Therefore, she shyly nodded and giggled as a wide and broad smile lit up Elsa’s almost squealing face. And a question surged inside Anna’s mind. _Why does Elsa want me to move on but does everything to prevent this from happening?_

The two sisters giggled as Elsa dragged her back to the ballroom, her grip firm and her palm warm against hers. Then, once inside the spacious chamber, Anna noticed all their guests happily smiling at them. She felt herself blush and hoped that no one would notice it.

Elsa led her to the dance floor just as a slow — perhaps _romantic_? — song started. They stood one in front of the other. Anna anxiously glanced at the others and realized that this piece needed a certain position. When she looked back at Elsa, she was surprised to see her stare at her with a soft yet intense look inside her cerulean eyes.

Elsa took a step forward and offered her hand to Anna. “Are you leading or am I?”

Anna swallowed her nerves and took the lead. Confidently, she took a hold of Elsa’s left hand and pulled her closer. “I _am_.”

She placed her other hand on Elsa’s hip and saw surprise bloom all over her sister’s features. Anna was shocked herself at her own boldness, and hesitantly smiled up at Elsa. Although their height difference wasn’t _that_ noticeable, it was still enough for Anna to have her nose brush against Elsa’s chin as their fronts collided. Elsa placed a trembling hand on Anna’s shoulder and held on tight to her.

And then they _danced._

No words were exchanged for a while, both of them too focused on getting lost in each other’s eyes. She had never been this close to Elsa before. Their faces were close, but in her opinion, they were not close _enough_. The grip Anna had on Elsa’s hand was firm but shaky and she was just so _nervous_. She kept glancing at Elsa’s exposed collarbones and whenever she looked up at her sister, her eyes would inevitably glance down at her thin pink lips, and the immense _need_ to kiss her would overwhelm her every time. She hoped that Elsa wouldn’t read her inappropriate thoughts from her face. And if she wasn’t focusing on trying not to kiss Elsa in front of dozens of strangers, then she was focused on trying not to let her sister’s scent make her too dizzy. Elsa smelled of snow, _obviously_ , and of ice and of winter, but she also smelled of lavender and soft linen, a particular scent that reminded her of their mother.

And between all the swaying they went through, Anna probably made the worst realization of her life.

She didn’t just have feelings for Elsa. She was _in love_ with her.

And the thought terrified her, because now it would be more difficult getting over her. And telling her was not an option. It would only make things worse between them. But keeping it to herself also sounded like hell.

_Ugh,_ Anna internally groaned. The song seemed to be about to finish, and in order to not let Elsa see her grimace, she pulled her closer by tugging her waist. Their bodies were now flushed against each other and their cheeks were brushing from time to time, but at least Elsa couldn’t see Anna’s face.

Anna held her left hand tighter with her right one, and closed her eyes, enjoying their close proximity and Elsa’s scent and the feeling of her sister’s soft white hair tickling her chin and nose.

And then, suddenly, the song was over, and a new, bouncy one began.

Anna felt like she could breathe again, but she noticed Elsa wasn’t letting go of her. With their chests pressed together, Anna could feel a rhythm that didn’t belong to the song that was being played by the musicians, albeit its fast pace was almost the same. Her own heartbeat was wild and frantic inside her ribcage, and if she could notice the irregularity in Elsa’s, she knew her sister could feel hers, too. Anna exhaled shakily and tilted her head towards Elsa’s. Her nose brushed against her jaw and finally, Anna felt Elsa reluctantly put some distance between their faces. Not between their bodies, though.

They looked at each other for a moment, and Anna knew that the look in her face would give her feelings away; she felt winded, breathless, but above all, she felt _in love._ She decided to lighten the mood, since Elsa seemed just as flustered as her.

“You’re a great dancer,” she joked, but her voice was merely a whisper and it sounded weak to her ears.

Elsa’s lips twitched upwards and she only giggled in response. Maybe she wanted to say more. But it was as if time had stopped for the both of them, as they held onto each other tightly.

“Elsa! Anna! I want to dance with you, too!” Olaf’s excited voice preceded the sight of the quirky snowman skipping towards them. As soon as Anna saw Kristoff laughing behind him, she subtly let go of Elsa’s hand and took a tiny step backwards; fully separating their bodies. She immediately missed her sister’s warmth.

“You know how to dance, Olaf?” Anna asked, doing everything she could in order to distract herself from what had just happened. She knelt before her small friend, and held onto his twig arm. Anna was oblivious to the quick glance Kristoff cast from Elsa to her.

“Of course I do!” he exclaimed, proudly puffing up his chest. Anna ruffled the twigs on top of his head and stood back on her full height. When she looked back at her sister, her heart stopped when she directly met Elsa’s cerulean eyes; her sister had been _staring_ at her. Suddenly, she felt like she needed some fresh air. But she refrained, because then Elsa or Kristoff would either follow her outside or ask her if she were okay.

“Then, show us what you got!” she challenged with a bright smile.

The friends laughed once more as Olaf moved around the dance floor, making silly moves which he then proceeded to call his _dance moves._ The night went on smoothly, and Anna almost forgot everything as she had fun with her family.

—————————————————

The warm breeze coming from the window left ajar involuntarily turned the page of the book she was currently reading and once again, Anna groaned. Sitting cross legged on top of the blankets of her bed, she put a hand in between the papers, going back to what she was reading. She knew she was distracted, but as stubborn as she was, she didn’t want to let her mind win. Therefore, even though the events of the ball kept on replaying at the forefront of her brain, she forced herself to read the next line on page eighty six.

It was early in the morning, a beautiful day of May had begun, and barely five days had passed since the celebration at the ballroom. Elsa suddenly seemed interested in the library, because she spent almost all of her free time there, with her head squished between the pages of a book. Anna didn’t know what type of novels she was interested in, but after their conversation outside in the balcony, she kind of had an idea to what kind of books seemed to suddenly attract her sister’s attention. They had rarely spoken to each other in the last few days, but Anna didn’t want this fact to sadden her. After all, they were very busy with their schedules, and after their talk by the tree, Anna’s worries had deemed a little.

Anna sighed, shaking her head slightly before focusing once again on the words written on the white paper. Just as she was getting into the plot, a soft knock sounded at the door. Anna swallowed a frustrated sigh, but when she looked up and saw Elsa’s face appear from behind the door, all of her annoyance disappeared in the blink of an eye.

“Can I come in?” Elsa asked, her voice small and shy.

“Sure,” Anna smiled warmly at her.

Her sister walked in the room and slowly closed the door. She was donning a deep purple nightgown, similar to Anna’s green one. Her movements were snaillike and sluggish, and just as she turned around to face the younger sibling, her fingers immediately began fiddling with each other. Elsa wore her hair in its usual single braid, and there was a pink blush covering her cheeks. Anna wanted to tell her that she looked beautiful, but considered it inappropriate and out of place. Elsa seemed to take a deep breath before walking towards the bed, circling it and sitting right beside Anna.

“Are you busy?” Elsa asked, voice too high pitched for Anna’s liking. She seemed terribly nervous, her cerulean eyes darting all over the room and not meeting Anna’s.

“I—I’m not,” Anna answered. She sat with her back against the headboard and watched Elsa sit comfortably with her weight propped on one hand. She kept staring at her older sister, having no idea why she looked as if she were about to have a mental breakdown; her chest rising and falling quickly. But she gave her time and space, patiently waiting for her to open up because, _obviously_ , there was something on her mind. However, Anna couldn’t help but feel her heart pick up the pace. She cleared her throat, listening to the soft sound of the spring breeze and the chatter coming from the village. When, finally, Elsa dared to look up at her, Anna noticed a sparkle of determination burning inside of her blue eyes. Then,

“Elsa, are you—,”

Elsa kissed her. The words died in her throat as Elsa’s soft, _trembling_ lips met hers. Involuntarily, she kissed her back, but something in the back of her mind told her to push her sister away.

And so she did.

Anna clumsily broke the kiss, the sound of their lips disconnecting echoing inside Anna’s bedroom. Wordlessly, they stared at each other, neither of them bold enough to bring reason into the little space that separated them. Anna wanted to ask for explanations, because, _why did Elsa kiss me?_ , and _did she come here_ just _to kiss me?_ Elsa was breathing heavily, _both_ of them were, but Anna was too busy replaying their second kiss inside her mind. She wanted to tell Elsa that it was wrong; for her to have feelings for Elsa, but it was even more _terrible_ if Elsa felt the same way. _She feels the same way, right?,_ Anna wondered briefly.

But she didn’t have enough time to process this thought, because Elsa glanced down at her lips and then she was leaning in once again. This time, as Elsa leaned forward, Anna leaned backward; one tried to cancel the distance between them, while the other tried to put more of it between them. Elsa paused mere inches away from her face, a quizzical look crossing her face as she looked into Anna’s eyes.

_Are you sure?_ , Anna seemed to ask with her eyes, as she gazed deeply into Elsa’s. There seemed to be no regret and hesitation in her older sister’s stare, only determination and sheer want. And it was all the consent and resolution Anna needed, as she hungrily reached forward, wrapped a hand around the back of Elsa’s neck, and brought their lips together. As soon as their mouths connected, its sound filling the silence of the room, a sigh of relief came from both of them.

Anna kissed Elsa deeply, putting pressure to her bottom lip with her top one. From the way Elsa was kissing her, Anna could tell that she had never kissed someone like this before, but what she lacked in experience, she made up for it with resolve and passion. Their kisses weren’t open mouthed and Anna didn’t feel like putting pressure on her. Then, she felt Elsa’s hand shyly cup her cheek, her thumb ghosting over her cheekbone.

When their lips disconnected for barely a second, Anna took advantage of it and breathed in deeply. She realized that her senses had been assaulted, and Elsa was _everywhere_ ; she could taste her, she could _smell_ her, and she could feel her. It was all impossibly overwhelming, and Anna couldn’t help but let out a brief moan when Elsa nipped at her bottom lip.

Perhaps, the sound invigorated the older woman, as Elsa reached out for Anna’s shoulders at the same time Anna wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her closer. Their position changed, and Anna noticed too late that Elsa was astride her, straddling her hips and sitting comfortably on her lap. Blindly, she pushed the open book out of the way, and neither of them heard it falling unceremoniously on the ground. Anna extended her legs, making their newfound position more comfortable as both of her arms went around Elsa’s back. The movement caused Elsa to buck her hips into Anna’s stomach and the younger sibling gasped at the contact.

Her mind was on overdrive; her brain couldn’t function. She desperately run her hand up and down Elsa’s back, their noses bumping briefly as they tilted their heads to the side in order to deepen their kiss. Anna heard Elsa mewl quietly as she cupped her shoulders. Anna herself let out a quiet whimper, as her sister began to massage her scalp with one hand and played with the end of one of her braids with the other. Then, Anna quickly pulled away from their heated kiss, only to trail her mouth downward. Elsa bucked her hips once again, and Anna placed both of her hands on her hips as she began kissing her pulse point. Just as she was about to nip at the sensitive and soft skin beneath her earlobe, a disrupting sound came from outside the room, before a quirky and bubbly snowman opened the door.

“Hey, Anna! What are you—oh, Elsa! You’re here, too!” Olaf smiled brightly at the two sisters.

Fortunately for them, they weren’t kissing when the little talking snowman had _rudely_ — if Anna may add — walked in the room. However, their position was a little bit… _inappropriate_ , for two sisters.

“Hi, Olaf,” Anna greeted him, because it seemed that Elsa was too busy being embarrassed. Her cheeks were the most red she had ever seen them, and she would have laughed had the situation been less traumatizing. “What are you doing here?” she asked, breathless. Anna’s hands were still on Elsa’s hips, and Elsa’s were still on Anna’s shoulders. Had the person interrupting their impromptu make out session been, for example, Kristoff, it would have been _a lot more_ embarrassing and difficult to explain. 

“You promised me you would teach me more writing, remember?”

Anna stared dumbly at Olaf before coming out of her trance and shaking her head. “Oh, yes! Yes, I remember!”

She forced a fake laugh out of her and Olaf smiled happily at her. When Anna looked back at her sister, she noticed that Elsa’s hair was a little bit disheveled, her cheeks had never been redder, and her lips were _swollen_. The sight of her sister sitting astride her, looking like _this_ , made a tingling feeling spread all over Anna’s body.

“What are you guys doing?”

Anna widened her eyes just as Elsa coughed. “Um—,” Elsa began.

“We—,”

“She was tickling me,” Elsa lied.

Anna nodded furiously. “Yes. Yes, I was.”

Olaf smiled. “That sounds fun! Can I join you?” he asked.

Just as Anna was about to tell him no, Elsa reluctantly began to get off of her sister. “Actually, Olaf,” she smiled shyly at Anna and stood up. “And, um, Anna,” she addressed her sister with an apologetic but embarrassed look. “I got to go. Council meeting,” she chuckled quietly. Elsa slowly walked towards the door, glancing back and forth between Olaf and her younger sister. Then, almost comically, the ever graceful and poised Elsa bumped her side against a furniture and muttered an apologize. “I—I’m going. Got to go. Bye,”

Elsa quickly fled the room, her cheeks still red and her breath still a little bit heavy. Anna couldn’t even feel disappointed, or bothered by Olaf as he got her out of bed and dragged her out of the room, because Elsa had _kissed_ her. And perhaps she would feel bad about it later, but for now, she decided to stay in her little, _blissful_ bubble and daydream about Elsa.


	13. Chapter 12

**CONVERSATIONS** concerning trading flew right over her head, mind too busy replaying the happenings of her brief morning encounter with Anna. Elsa sat at the head of the long wooden table placed in the middle of the Council Chambers, her council currently engaged in an important conversation that Elsa should be actually listening to. And yet, no matter the significance of the meeting, her gaze kept flickering to the large floor to ceiling windows, the perfect view of the courtyard at her disposal.

Even though hours had passed since her visit to her sister’s bedroom, her lips still managed to carry Anna’s taste, the nerves of her whole body still tingling with an electrifying sensation. Her hips, the back of her neck, still had traces of Anna’s touch, as if her younger sister was still there, touching her like she was the most precious soul in the world. Elsa took a deep breath in order to steady her racing and wild heart: the more she thought about her morning, the more that peculiar, tingling feeling grew at the bottom of her stomach. It was something that she had never experienced, however, it was something she had read in those lengthy descriptions she had found in the books she had waded through over the past few weeks. Those novels mentioned throbbing, an excitement that was difficult to tame the more it increased. Every book she had read had never been too specific, so when, one day, she had stumbled upon the word _arousal_ , her cheeks had flamed and she had closed the book so quickly that the few servants that had been in the library with her had sent her quizzical looks. Elsa still blushed when she remembered all those scenes she had read _just_ because she was curious. And it was pointless to deny it now; what she had felt with Anna that morning was nothing short of arousal. Those books had told the truth, but the excitement she had felt was also _so_ much more. It went beyond carnal desire. It was more than sheer and primal need. It was _longing_. Elsa longed to be close to Anna, to feel her bare body against hers, to feel her touch again. It was as if Elsa’s skin yearned Anna’s lips, wanted them to color her whole body with the shade of her love, and of passion. Just thinking about Anna’s lips, their particular softness and warmth, how they had felt against hers, the desperate pressure they had put on Elsa’s, made her tremble slightly.

Elsa placed her elbow on the table, her chin on her palm. She covered her own cheek with her quivering fingers in order to conceal her blush, and momentarily scolded herself. Thinking about kissing Anna was highly inappropriate when in a council meeting, but her mind couldn’t help but _wonder_. Wonder what it would be like to do more than just kissing Anna. Wonder what it would feel like to have Anna’s hands touch her bare skin. Wonder what it would feel and _look_ like to be under Anna’s body. Wonder what it would _feel_ like to make love to her—

“Your Majesty?”

Elsa almost fell from her seat when the man directly across from her appealed her. She cleared her throat and vainly tried to get rid of the image of a naked Anna straddling her lap. “Yes?” she stuttered. She hoped nobody could read her thoughts from the embarrassment on her face.

“What is your opinion about this matter?”

Elsa mentally chided herself. _About_ what _matter, exactly?_ , she wanted to ask. She feigned a thoughtful and pensive disposition, leafing through the various papers beneath her hands. No matter how hard she tried, her mind kept betraying her, filling her brain with lewd scenarios involving her sister. Elsa closed her eyes and clenched her hands and, unconsciously, a sheet of frost formed right where her forearms touched the edge of the wooden table.

“Erm…if I may ease your concerns, your Majesty, I think we should send them some of our ice,” a council man intervened, perhaps noticing Elsa’s distress and wrongly attributing it to the matter of their discussion. “We have a lot of it in our ice storage, and, erm, technically a lack of ice would never be a problem for Arendelle, since…” he trailed off, his point clear to the queen.

Elsa nodded wordlessly. She took a deep breath. “Yes, you are right. Send them the ice that they need. It won’t be a problem of any sorts,” she replied, feigning confidence albeit she had no knowledge who this _them_ might be. Then, when she finally gathered her thoughts and had found some composure, she looked up and glanced quickly at her council. “Is there anything else?”

A man to her right started, “Well—,”

But General Mattias interrupted him before he could say more. “That was all, your Majesty.”

Elsa exhaled gratefully and nodded once. “Then you’re all dismissed,” she stated, leaving no room for objection. The council stood up and left the Council Chambers silently; some of them not sparing a look towards the queen, others glancing briefly at her with concern. When Elsa stood up, she realized just then how wobbly and unsteady her legs truly were. Her heartbeat was unhealthily on overdrive and she took various deep breaths in order to calm down. Somehow, her brain finally agreed with her that thinking about Anna right now was probably too much for her, and toned down the vulgar images at the forefront of her mind, replacing them with innocent ones instead.

“Are you all right, your Majesty?”

It was General Mattias, his deep and gravelly voice filling the silent room. Elsa turned around and faced him with the best smile she could muster. “I’m fine, thank you.”

The man kindly nodded, bowing gently before leaving her alone. Elsa felt her hands tremble, the familiar urgent need to release her magic making her whole body hum. Elsa quickly walked out of the Council Chambers, and headed happily towards her secret place, the one where she freely let go of her ice. Only then, with the bright sun shining warmly above her, and the cold feeling of her magic pouring out of her hands, did she feel better.

* * *

After having a picnic with Olaf and Kristoff, Anna went for a ride. Following the wolves’ attack, she no longer had Eira as her loyal horse, for the animal had never returned back home. Anna wondered if it had died lonely, but quickly shook her head and discarded the thoughts. It was hopeless to believe that one day, Eira could come back. But nature had made her an optimist, and she would always hope for the best, despite the circumstances. 

The stable boy prepared her a new horse, one she had never used before. The animal’s crest was a beautiful pitch black, its alert eyes of the same color. When Anna sat astride him, she could feel its powerful shoulders underneath the touch of her gloved hands. On one hand, the mighty horse — Balder, which meant _prince_ in Old Norse, the stable boy had informed her — seemed to be impatient, as if it couldn’t wait to run freely on the open fields of Arendelle. On the other hand, it seemed to be patient enough to wait for Anna’s directions. The queen smiled at the stable boy, before grabbing the reins and tugging them gently. The horse set a peaceful pace, cantering through the streets of the village as Anna lost herself in the brightness of the sun. She still had a few hours of light, it being mid-afternoon. Anna smiled to herself, loving the feeling of the saddle comfortably hitting her thighs as she set the horse in a fast gallop once they reached the Forest of Arendelle.

As soon as she was out of the village, the warm wind, it seemed, carried thoughts of her sister, and Anna freely let the memory of that morning wash over her. She still felt blissfully happy, giddy, even, as the smile on her lips turned into a full grin. If one happened to catch sight of her now, she would probably look crazy; smiling all to herself. Anna giggled softly at the image.

But she couldn’t care less, because Elsa had _kissed_ her. She had intentionally come to her bedroom, and with fiery determination, she had kissed her. Anna still felt like it had been all a dream, but it couldn’t be. They had stumbled upon one another, right before Anna had gone to her picnic with her friends, and the blush on Elsa’s cheeks, along with her shy smile and lingering touch to her shoulder, were all the proof she needed to believe that it had, indeed, _happened._ And they had promised each other that, once they had dinner, they would _talk_ about it. But Anna wasn’t afraid. She told herself not to stress too much about the impending and looming conversation they would probably have in Elsa’s bedroom tonight. And she didn’t want to think about the possibility of Elsa regretting her actions, because she just…seemed _so_ sure. The way she had kissed her with fervor, despite having no knowledge of the _how_ , convinced Anna that, most certainly, Elsa felt the same way.

That, however, was frightening. Exciting, also, but above all, Anna had no idea how to approach the next step, if Elsa turned out to have the same feelings for her. What would they do? Would they try to pursue a _romantic_ relationship, despite fully knowing the risks that it entailed?

Anna breathed in the scent of nature and listened to the birds chirping delightfully on the trees. No matter what happened that night, she knew that whatever they decided, they would do it _together_ and it would be the best thing to do.

* * *

Dinner was a tense affair. Well, at least for the two sisters.

Tonight, Olaf and Kristoff joined them and it seemed that the most inclined to initiate a conversation was, as usual, the little snowman. Kristoff was the one to reply to him the most, the one who seemed to be able to entertain him. Anna noticed that there was something off about Elsa’s behavior. Of course she knew that her older sister was the shy and silent type, but tonight, Elsa was unusually so. She laughed when Olaf made a joke, and she smiled when necessary. Olaf and Kristoff seemed to be oblivious, but Anna wasn’t. And while Olaf and Kristoff were too busy in partaking a silly competition — the first to finish the sausages would win — Anna turned to her left, placed a hand over Elsa’s right one and gently asked, “Are you okay?”

Elsa flinched visibly — and actually coated the corner of the table with frost, _but_ — and briefly glanced at their touching hands. “I’m fine,” she replied with a smile. Anna wasn’t entirely convinced, but then she noticed Elsa’s blush, heard the way she seemed to release a shaky breath when Anna pulled her hand away, and she couldn’t help but smirk. Elsa was _nervous_. About tonight and their conversation. Anna tried to hide the smile by gulping down her glass of water. Then, underneath the table, she extended her legs and subtly intertwined them with Elsa’s. Her older sister was wearing a beautiful pink dress today, and Anna still donned her riding outfit, which consisted of a plain ivory long sleeved shirt tucked in the hem of her ochre breeches. After returning from her ride with Balder, she had taken a relaxing bath — for she wanted to smell good for the night, because _reasons_ — but she had replaced the sweaty outfit with a new one, simply because she had seen the appreciative look Elsa had desperately tried to hide earlier that day.

“I win!” came Kristoff’s muffled voice, his arms raised above his head.

Olaf groaned; only one sausage had been separating him from the goal.

Anna and Elsa laughed lightly at the goofy display their friends had created, and the younger sister glanced at the older one, making sure that she was enjoying their evening. Due to Elsa’s busy afternoon, they were having a late dinner; the sun had already set. But even though Elsa had apologized for the tardiness of the hour, no one had cared. They were all just glad to spend time together.

Once dinner was over, it was a little over ten o’clock, and Elsa shyly asked Anna if they could have their talk in her bedroom. Anna softly agreed; she would do anything to make her feel comfortable, and if speaking in Elsa’s bedroom would put her older sister at ease, then she would gladly do that.

Silently, they walked down the hall, Elsa’s hands neatly folded across her abdomen. Anna mimicked her, but instead crossed them behind her back. Elsa’s own nervousness seemed to be contagious, since once they reached the older sibling’s hallway, Anna felt her heart pick up the pace and her hands begin to sweat. On the way, they encountered Kai and Gerda, and bid them goodnight with warm smiles. Then, they stopped in front of Elsa’s door, and the older sister hesitated as she let her left hand hover on the doorknob.

When she finally had the courage to push it open, they let themselves in Elsa’s bedroom and the latter closed the door behind her, the soft sound echoing quietly in the chamber.

Anna took a deep breath as she watched her sister light up the two lanterns by her canopy bed. Then, they stood in the middle of the room, right in front of the large floor to ceiling windows, and momentarily stared at each other. With the moon shining and the glow of the fire, both sisters seemed to think of the same thing. _She’s so beautiful_.

“So,” Anna began, fiddling with her hands and taking a tentative step forward. “Do you…want to begin?” she asked with a hopeful smile. Anna thought that it wasn’t her place to confess here; if anyone had to admit something after that morning, it was surely Elsa.

“Well…” Elsa seemed fairly interested in the purple rug that was beneath their feet, and Anna waited patiently. “I just…I don’t know where to begin,”

“That’s okay,” Anna quickly crossed the room and took Elsa’s hands in hers. She squeezed them softly and run her thumbs over her sister’s knuckles so as to ease some of her nervousness. “Maybe you can start by telling me…well—why did you kiss me? Do you…do you have feelings for me?”

Elsa looked up at her and ducked her head as she shyly nodded. “I—I do,” she admitted with a fiery blush. “And it’s scary. It’s all new for me and I just—I thought that reading romance novels would help me understand better what I was going through, and you might think I’m crazy for doing that, but I just—they put some order in my mind. I’m rational and organized and the fact that I couldn’t quite place my feelings for you was driving me crazy. So I just thought—I _need_ to understand what I’m feeling. I didn’t want to lead you on by telling you I was confused, so I just—I just told you that I didn’t feel the same, but then you—you were hurt and I couldn’t stand hurting you—so I _knew_ that I needed to figure it out quickly but—I didn’t know how and I just—I didn’t know what—,”

Anna’s lips interrupted her rambling, and Anna smiled slightly when she heard the light sound of surprise that vibrated against her mouth. Anna kissed her softly, cupping both her cheeks and feeling them getting warm beneath her hands. Elsa cupped one of her elbows, relaxing and releasing a quiet sigh of relief.

When they parted, Anna giggled at Elsa’s dazed expression. It almost resembled the one she had worn after they had first kissed. “I’m sorry,” she apologized with the hint of amusement in her voice. “But I’ve learned through books that kissing someone when they’re rambling is the best and most efficient way to shut them up,” when Elsa kept staring at her blankly, Anna let another chuckle shake her body. “See? It works!”

Elsa seemed to compose herself as she laughed along with her younger sister. “Anna,” she said. “I just…I’m really sorry for everything. I just needed to figure it out and seeing how hurt you were every time I kept rejecting you was…it was _awful_.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Anna rubbed the soft skin underneath Elsa’s eyes with her thumbs. “I appreciate you telling me. And…” Anna decided to be honest with her. “—I never expected you to feel the same way. But, you _do_. And I can’t tell you how lucky I feel right now. Just…being able to kiss you like this is…” Anna sighed, unable to express with words how she felt. “…but then there’s the fact that… _well_ ,” she chuckled even though what she was about to say was not funny at all. “We’re _sisters_. And I don’t expect us to be more than that if you don’t want to—,”

“I want to,” Elsa quickly interrupted. When Anna’s teal eyes widened, Elsa stammered out, “I—I want _you_. I like the way you make me feel and I don’t think I will… _ever_ feel like this with anyone else. I don’t think I will ever _want to_ feel like this with anyone else.”

The words warmed Anna’s heart and it was her turn now to blush. “That’s…flattering,” they shared a giggle. “But…there are all the risks and—,”

“I know,” Elsa’s hands rested against her shoulders and run them up and down her arms. “But I just…I feel like—,” Elsa sighed and closed her eyes. She gently placed her forehead against Anna and the latter hummed appreciatively at their proximity. “I know that this could sound paranoid, and crazy, but I just feel like…like something is looming over us, or, I don’t know. The same way I felt that the voice calling me last year was good, this time my magic can feel that those…those _dreams_ are not good, they’re _evil_ and I—I don’t want to waste our time together,” the implication was clear even though it hadn’t been voiced, and Anna felt her heart plummet. “I want us to…to just _be_. I like you, as more than a sister, and you feel the same. I just think…maybe it’s selfish, but I want to experience this with you, Anna. I don’t care about anything else, but you,” these words sounded scary coming from someone like Elsa. “I just want to be with you and just— _feel_ and _explore_ my feelings for you, Anna. Do you…do you want to be with me?”

She sounded extremely hesitant, and Anna immediately nodded. “I do. I do want to be with you, Elsa.”

Elsa stared at her, her cerulean eyes reflecting the golden glow of the lantern on her bed table. She nodded shyly. “And I just…I know you have experience and I don’t, but…I just—,” she sighed. “I’ve never known what being _loved_ this way feels like.”

Anna swallowed. The air suddenly became thick and filled with tension, as she boldly whispered, “Then, let me _show_ you,”

There was a moment, in which both of them relished in the particular color of the other’s eyes. And then, Anna leaned in slowly, giving Elsa enough time to retreat in case she suddenly regretted all of this. But that remorse never crossed Elsa’s stare, not even once, and when Anna finally kissed her, Elsa readily accepted her lips. The sounds of nature — the crickets singing delightfully the night’s anthem, the village readying themselves to go to sleep, the water — all disappeared into the background as Anna’s ears could only hear the noise of their colliding lips and heavy breathing.

Anna placed her hands against Elsa’s hips, gently pushing her forward until her back made contact with the wood of the door. Anna’s body melted with Elsa’s, their fronts touching with almost hesitance as Elsa buried her hands in her sister’s copper hair. Anna kissed her deeply, with vigor. And she felt Elsa crumble beneath her assault, like a prey falling victim to its predator. Then, Anna didn’t waste another second; with a daring tongue, she asked for entrance, and once Elsa allowed her lips to part, it felt like _soaring_. Elsa moaned softly as she let Anna win the war between their battling tongues. Anna explored Elsa’s mouth with greed and transport, feeling dizzy by the time they parted for breath.

But Elsa pulled her in before she could think again, both of her hands tugging the back of her neck forward. Elsa’s back arched almost involuntarily, as Anna’s fingers shyly caressed her clothed abdomen. When the older woman let out another sound, Anna decided that they couldn’t keep on standing against the door.

Her left hand blindly reached for the doorknob, effectively locking the door in merely ten seconds. Elsa, upon hearing the sound, seemed to understand Anna’s intentions, as she whimpered in her younger sister’s mouth.

Then, Anna pulled away, putting some distance between their faces so that she could think clearly. There was a question burning inside her eyes and Elsa seemed to read her mind as she tenderly smiled. Anna couldn’t help but mimic the gesture. She grabbed her hand and then gently pulled her forward the bed. She could feel Elsa’s fingers trembling between hers, and realized that this was going to be Elsa’s _first_ time.

Anna subtly prompted her to sit down and Elsa did, without asking any questions. Then, in order to put Elsa at ease, make her comfortable, she shyly and slowly began to pull at the hem of her own shirt. But before she could take it off herself, Elsa paused her by putting her right hand over hers. “Wait,” she spoke, her voice hoarse and deep. Anna swallowed. “ _I_ want to do it. If that’s okay,”

Anna smiled. “Sure,” she replied softly. Elsa timidly raised it until it was over Anna’s head, revealing a white and fleece chemise underneath. Elsa’s throat went dry when her eyes unconsciously focused on the swell of her breasts and she heard her own breath echo in the space between them. There was a blush on Anna’s cheeks, obviously peeling off not only layers of clothes, but also layers of her own soul, standing vulnerable and almost completely naked in front of her seated older sister. Elsa appreciated the gesture because it was obvious that she was doing all of this — taking her clothes off first — so that she could feel comfortable.

Anna smiled down at her as she guided Elsa’s hands to her breeches. Elsa released a trembling breath as she tugged them downwards until they pooled by Anna’s feet. The younger sister kicked them out of the way, now standing with only her undergarments. Then, gingerly, she lowered herself on Elsa’s lap and tenderly kissed her on the lips.

“May I?” Anna whispered against her mouth, eyes still closed, fingers playing with the zip on the back of Elsa’s pink dress.

Elsa, not trusting her voice, nodded furiously. Within seconds, Elsa was sporting the same undergarments as Anna’s and she couldn’t help but moan in anticipation. Anna let the dress fall softly on the ground, her teal eyes — now clouded with lust and need — never leaving Elsa’s.

Elsa, not knowing what to do next, waited for her sister’s guidance. And Anna smiled fondly, placing her hands against her shoulder and pushing her down on the bed. Elsa lied comfortably with her head resting on the plush pillows of her canopy bed, the purple blankets beneath her back soft. Anna slowly straddled her hips, the weight of her body on Elsa’s lower abdomen making the older sibling shift involuntarily. Anna gingerly placed her own hands on Elsa’s stomach, creating invisible circles on the fabric of her chemise. The pressure of her fingertips was teasing, invigorating a newborn flame inside Elsa’s belly. The sensation wasn’t foreign to her, it had been dormant the whole day, but now that Anna was so close to her, it came back to life, making Elsa whimper weakly once Anna’s hands came to rest against the side of her breasts. Elsa placed her own hands on Anna’s knees, caressing the soft skin with trembling fingers.

When her younger sister’s hands hesitantly and carefully cupped her breasts over the fabric, Elsa couldn’t help but moan, her hips bucking upwards. Anna leaned down and kissed her softly, while her fingers slowly circled her hardening nipples. Elsa mewled against her mouth, arching her back when Anna, upon hearing and feeling Elsa’s great reaction, began to knead her breasts with her palms.

The older sister run her hands along Anna’s clothed back, before timidly slipping her fingers beneath the chemise and touching Anna’s bare back. It was summer meeting winter; Elsa’s cold hands brushing against Anna’s hot skin. The younger woman seemed to appreciate the gentle caresses, as she whimpered before biting down on Elsa’s lower lip and tugging.

Then, Anna pulled away from her, hands disappearing from Elsa’s chest as they came down to lift her own chemise over her head. _Wait a moment_ —

Before Elsa could understand what her sister was doing, Anna’s upper body was unveiled in all its glory. And Elsa’s honest reaction was to—

“Oh my goodness,” she whispered weakly. Her cerulean eyes couldn’t help but keep on staring at Anna’s chest. Elsa heard her sister giggle softly, probably enjoying her reaction to the new display of skin, but she couldn’t care less. Anna’s breasts were modest, not too small but not too big, either. Upon such blatant attention, her nipples began to stiffen and Elsa was conflicted between a realization — _I’ve never seen another pair of breasts_ — and the sheer want to just touch them or kiss them because — _the skin looks so soft there, I wonder what it would feel like beneath my hands or mouth._

“Are you okay?” Anna asked sweetly. Elsa nodded, not trusting her voice. But then, upon closer inspection, as Elsa stared dumbly at Anna’s breasts, she noticed something barely above Anna’s left breast that was akin to a scar. She furrowed her brows, before looking up at her sister.

“Anna, is that scar…”

“Yes,” Anna lowered her head and confirmed Elsa’s suspicions. Elsa frowned slightly. Of course Anna’s smooth skin had to be flawed with the remnants of the accident that happened nearly four years ago. The fact that, when she had struck her heart with her magic, she had also left a _scar_ behind, made Elsa’s frown deepen.

“Hey,” Anna cupped her cheek, noticing her obvious distress. “It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt. I just…never told you because I knew it would only make you feel guilty.”

Elsa sighed. She needed to do something. _Anything_. And so, pushing away all her nervousness and shy demeanor, she gingerly sat up and circled Anna’s waist. Anna gasped softly when Elsa’s lips tenderly kissed the scar on her left breast. And as Elsa let her mouth linger, she could smell Anna’s incredibly sweet scent, and hear the steady heartbeat thumping underneath her skin. Then, boldly, she let her kisses travel south, before her lips met a hardened nipple. Elsa heard Anna moan, the sound sending a shiver down her back. She tried to remember the things she had learned through those romance novels, and once she did, she gently let her lips wrap around the tender flesh. Elsa let her tongue brush against Anna’s nipple, her younger sister’s hands gripping her shoulders tightly. And then, she sucked gently. Once, then twice, and then three times. The more Anna let out those mewling sounds, the more she felt inclined to do more.

But it seemed that Anna had other plans.

Before Elsa could protest, she was being pushed against the mattress, Anna hovering above her body. Then, Anna shifted, and once she was lying in between Elsa’s legs, she touched the hem of her sister’s chemise and softly asked, “Can I?”

Elsa whispered a weak form of consent, before she closed her eyes as Anna took off the garment. The cold had never bothered her before, but the stare Anna gifted her chest with sent a cold shiver up her spine, making her tremble underneath her sister’s body.

“You’re so _beautiful_ , Elsa,” Anna whispered tenderly, her voice full of love and awe and pure _admiration_ as she fondly caressed her cheek before resting her forehead against Elsa’s. Then, Anna leaned in and kissed her sweetly, and Elsa let her take over. Their tongues danced briefly before the younger sibling’s lips traveled towards her neck. The sensation of her mouth against her pulse point was overwhelming, because Anna kissed her skin, sucked gently, and then the wet patch of flesh would break out in goosebumps as she exhaled softly. Elsa wrapped her arms around her sister’s back. With one hand, Anna caressed the arm wrapped around her body, while the other kneaded Elsa’s left breast.

The older sibling panted and gasped, her eyes falling shut as a blissful state overtook her body. Anna kept lowering her kisses, before her own lips were mimicking Elsa’s actions; they wrapped gently around a hardened nipple, and Elsa couldn’t help but let out a meek whimper. She bit her lower lip, her eyes opening only to watch Anna’s copper hair cover part of her chest. It seemed that she felt her sister’s eyes on her, because then, just as Anna sucked and teasingly bit down, her stare flickered upwards and met Elsa’s.

“Anna,” Elsa moaned, arching her back and involuntarily wrapping her legs around Anna’s waist, trapping her. Anna hummed against her skin, her left hand now caressing Elsa’s sides. The stimulation of Anna’s lips and hands on her breasts was almost enough to send her over the edge, and the familiar throbbing, that burning and tingling feeling at the pit of her stomach came back. The more Anna teased her chest, the more it turned into a pulsating need located between her legs. Elsa tried to regulate her own breathing, tried vainly to stop the moans spilling from her lips, but she couldn’t seem to keep quiet nor still. She writhed beneath Anna’s body and she prayed whatever deity was above them to listen to her. _Please, let the servants be asleep and not wondering around the castle. Please, please, please._

But Anna seemed to appreciate her vocal pleasure, because as Elsa once again whimpered, her fingers digging crescent moons on her sister’s back, Anna only bucked her hips forward.

Once again, Anna pulled away, her fingertips playing with the hem of Elsa’s bloomers. This time, the question was inside her teal eyes, and Elsa quickly gave her consent, wanting to feel Anna’s warm body against hers as soon as possible. Before she could think about the implications of Anna taking off the last piece of clothing covering her body, Elsa was naked, and in mere seconds, Anna was as well.

A collective moan sounded in the chamber, as Elsa wrapped her arms and legs around Anna’s petite form just as the younger sibling crushed their lips together. She sensed something akin to desperation and yearning in Anna’s kiss, as she tangled their limbs until they were just one, unique person. Elsa had wondered all day what Anna’s bare body against hers would feel like, and now that she got to experience it, the feeling was indescribable. The muscles of her shoulders were taut and firm but they were just as soft as the petal of a flower. The heels of her feet hooked around Anna’s thighs just as a tentative right hand trailed south.

Anna pulled away from their heated kiss with a question on her lips. “Are you sure you want to do this? We can wait—,”

“I’m sure,” Elsa nodded, and she moaned in anticipation when she felt Anna’s fingers graze her inner thigh. “I want this. I want _you_ , Anna.”

There was love and determination and awe inside Anna’s teal eyes, her freckled face illuminated by the glow of the lamp beside the bed. She nodded, slowly capturing her lips in a soft kiss. The sound of their heartbeats reverberated in the bedroom, as Anna whispered, “Just…we can stop whenever you want. If you’re uncomfortable, or if it is too much, just—tell me to stop, and I will stop, okay?”

Elsa nodded meekly. “Okay,”

Anna nodded again. “Okay,” she repeated herself, momentarily kissing Elsa before letting her fingers boldly touch Elsa’s center. Both of them gasped and she saw the flicker of sheer surprise inside Anna’s teal eyes. Anna’s fingers against her wet core were overwhelming, and instinctively she clenched her legs together, squeezing Anna’s hips as a consequence. Her sister became more daring, as she let her middle finger tease Elsa’s opening. Their foreheads touched and Anna stared at her with such an intense look that Elsa couldn’t help but moan and arch her back. Anna kept experimentally rubbing her center, making her sister get used to the new sensation. Then, just as Anna whispered again, “Okay,”, the younger sibling finally pushed her middle finger inside.

The first thing Elsa felt was pain. She threw her head back and hissed, the sound a mixture of pain and discomfort. She clenched her teeth, feeling Anna still inside of her.

“Are you okay? Does it hurt too much?” Anna worriedly asked. She caressed her cheek and kissed the other. Her teal eyes shone with barely concealed worry and that made Elsa smile.

“Only—a little,” Elsa stammered. Anna nodded.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“N—No,” she replied.

Anna nodded again. Then, she started moving again, her middle finger retreating before slowly going back in. Elsa whimpered again, the lower half of her body burning. She breathed heavily, looking into Anna’s eyes. When Anna pulled in and out again, she placed her nose against Elsa’s cheek, a moan of her own coming out of her parted lips. It slightly baffled Elsa, how Anna could feel pleasure just by feeling how tight Elsa was around her digit. Then, when Anna pushed in her index finger, Elsa moaned again, but this time, the pleasure that came from the penetration overtook the pain, before it replaced it completely, and the only thing that she could feel was pure, gold bliss.

Elsa bit the inside of her cheek, her ears slightly ringing; the only sounds she could hear, were the creaking of the bed, Anna’s panting against the shell of her ear, her own gasps and moans of pleasure, and lastly, the slight rustling of sheets beneath her back. Elsa wrapped her arms beneath Anna’s armpits, gripping her shoulders tightly and hiding her face in the crook of her neck. Anna began to rock her body forward, meeting each involuntary buckle of Elsa’s hips and setting a steady rhythm.

There were no words to describe the feelings that overtook her body once Anna picked up the pace. The younger sibling desperately reached her right hand with her free one, tangling their fingers before pinning it above Elsa’s head. Anna’s gaze fell on her face, perhaps to gauge her reaction, just as the heel of her palm found Elsa’s clit. The unexpected friction rewarded her with a loud and surprised moan from the older sibling, who threw her head back and tilted her head to the side. But Anna prompted her to look back up at her, and when their eyes met, Anna’s lips crashed against Elsa’s just as her thumb pressed down on the hardened nub. Elsa realized, seconds later, that Anna was repeatedly kissing her only to silence the moans that she wasn’t able to hold back.

The older woman felt a strange sensation spread throughout her body; breathing became a difficult task, noiseless whimpers were the only thing coming from her mouth, and the mere tickling feeling of her braid against her breast sent a shiver down her spine. Until, the only thing she could see was a blinding whiteness behind closed eyelids, the only things she could feel were overwhelming waves of pleasure spreading all over her body, and the only things she could hear were Anna’s own moans and unintelligible words.

Elsa didn’t know for how long she climaxed; heavens, she didn’t even _know_ that orgasms could feel this good. But then, everything, albeit slowly, came back. When Anna’s fingers slipped out from between her legs, she felt a tinge of disappointment and emptiness. Within seconds, she was back inside her bedroom, with Anna now lying beside her instead of hovering above her. Elsa’s legs were trembling as they stretched out and tangled with her sister’s, her eyes closed in order to enjoy the last waves of pleasure. She was trying to get her breathing back to normal when she heard Anna giggle childishly. Elsa was confused for a moment, but then her sister spoke.

“You made it snow,” she whispered.

Elsa’s cerulean eyes spread wide open in shock. Indeed, snow was falling all around them, and as she propped her weight on her elbows, she could see the hint of frost covering part of the headboard. Anna was laughing like a child beside her, lazily wrapping an arm around her abdomen.

Elsa looked down at her, platinum blonde braid slightly disheveled as she chuckled along with her younger sister. “Sorry,” she apologized with a sheepish, tight lipped smile.

“What? It’s nice!” Anna grinned. “It’s pretty warm in here right now, so it feels good to have some chilly snow.”

Elsa stared at her for a moment before releasing a small, shy giggle. “You know,” she said quietly. “You make me lose control. In the best way, of course,”

A comfortable silence settled between them as they faced each other, lying both on their sides. Their arms naturally found their way around the other’s body, and Elsa nuzzled her nose against her sister’s. Anna giggled and blinked rapidly when a tiny snowflake caught in one eyelash. She closed her eyes and softly chuckled as Elsa kissed her eyelid.

“How are you feeling?” Anna whispered.

Elsa closed her eyes and enjoyed the momentary silence between them. She basked in what the books had called it the _afterglow_ and then replied gently, “Wonderful,”

Anna giggled again and couldn’t help but steal a peck from her lips. However, Elsa couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that, well…Anna hadn’t had her turn. And she noticed just now the trembling of her limbs, the way her breath hitched in her throat as Elsa kissed her a second time. When she lowered her hands to rest them on Anna’s firm behind, Elsa could no longer deny the desperation that echoed between them as her younger sister tried to stifle a weak moan.

“Are _you_ okay?” Elsa asked, pulling away from her lips. Anna shifted, seeming almost uncomfortable as she shrugged.

“Don’t worry about me,” her voice was as shaky as the fingers caressing Elsa’s back.

“Hm,” Elsa hummed. She looked at Anna for a few seconds, then decided that she deserved to feel as much pleasure as she had given to her. And she would try _everything_ to make her feel as much good as she had made her feel just moments prior.

Elsa placed a hand on Anna’s jaw and captured her lips, kissing her deeply and pushing her shyness to the side, if only for the sake of her sister. Anna let out a strangled whimper as Elsa strangely dominated the heated kiss, taking her time in exploring her mouth with her tongue. Then, she boldly pushed at Anna’s right shoulder, forcing her to lie on her back. Elsa took her place on top, lying in between her spread legs and never stopping with her assault on Anna’s mouth.

She had to admit that she was quite exhausted; Anna had _really_ worn her out. But as soon as her mouth began sucking on Anna’s pulse point, her sister’s light moans invigorated her and woke up primal instincts that had been dormant for her whole life. And she _wanted_ to do this. She needed to feel Anna come undone beneath her body, needed to feel her tremble between her arms.

Elsa kissed down the valley between her breasts before focusing on one of them. She gave Anna’s chest the attention it deserved, and couldn’t help but grin against her left breast when Anna moaned and arched her back, pushing her body more against Elsa’s mouth. She kissed the freckles on her shoulders, before going lower and lower…and _lower_.

“E—Elsa?” Anna stammered, voice raspy and meek. Her heavy breathing echoed inside the bedroom as Elsa looked up, her lips lingering on the salty skin of her sister’s left hip. “What—what are you doing?”

“I want to make you feel as much _good_ as you made me feel,” Elsa whispered in the night. “May I?”

Anna hurriedly nodded, showing her consent by spreading her legs wider. Elsa didn’t have any idea of what she was doing, as she covered Anna’s inner thighs with soft and gentle kisses, sometimes biting the tender skin when she felt a little bit daring. It was true; the fact that she didn’t know how to do this slightly freaked out, but she decided to conceal her nervousness and focused on Anna’s reactions. That would surely make her understand what she did like and what she didn’t.

The first time her lips connected with Anna’s center, the younger woman mewled so noisily that Elsa almost stopped. But this was a trait of her sister that she would soon get used to; she liked to be _very_ vocal.

Elsa momentarily glanced up, the sight of Anna’s heaving body creating tingles all over her body. Then, she tentatively licked Anna’s soaked core, closing her eyes as soon as she tasted her on her tongue. She let out a gentle moan, the vibration making Anna loudly moan Elsa’s name. She repeated the motion, soon learning what Anna appreciated the most. And the more Elsa let her tongue dive into her core, the more she grew fond of Anna’s particular taste. It was everything she didn’t expect, and _so_ much more. She closed her eyes, and somehow, the action made the experience better. It was as if Anna’s desperate moans and pleads were directly inside her brain, spurring her further and picking up the pace.

Anna wrapped her legs around her neck, her calves resting on Elsa’s back. The change in position turned out to improve things, as now Elsa had a steady grip on Anna’s thighs and bucking hips.

“E—Elsa,” Anna whimpered. Elsa looked up at the sound of her name, and the sight only made her moan, her tongue finally coming into contact with her clit. Anna arched her back, her hips rocking forward so as to search for more friction. Her lips parted, only to let out a sinful moan as her eyes squeezed shut, head thrown back. When Elsa caught sight of her hands, she couldn’t help but grab one of them as she focused on the little nub. It had felt wonderful earlier, when Anna had repeatedly rubbed it with tenderness. And so Elsa did the same, using her tongue as best as she could.

Anna squeezed Elsa’s hand, while the other reached for the pillow beneath her head, face tilting to the side and copper hair sticking to her sweaty forehead.

Anna beautifully came undone minutes later, and it was the best thing Elsa had ever seen. It almost felt like a privilege; to be able to watch her with so much bliss contorting her beautiful features. Elsa softly kissed her thighs, giggling lightly when Anna only whimpered. Then, when she felt satisfied, Elsa kissed her way back, leaving one last kiss on the scar above her left breast.

“That was—wow…I don’t even know…”

Elsa giggled once again, lying beside Anna with her cheek resting on her heaving chest. There was a sheen of sweat covering Anna’s body, making her glow under the light flickering on her bed table. Elsa tangled their legs and lazily threw an arm over Anna’s abdomen, cuddling close to her little sister.

“Did you…did you enjoy it?” she timidly asked.

Anna wrapped her arms around her back and pulled her closer. “Enjoy it? Elsa, that was _amazing_! I think I forgot my name at some point,”

Elsa let out a shocked laugh. “What?”

“Yeah,” Anna sheepishly smiled. “That…really made me feel _good_. Like, so good that it made me forget my name.”

Elsa blushed deeply and hid her face in the crook of her sister’s neck.

“Are you _blushing_?”

Elsa hesitated. “No.”

“Oh, you are,” Anna giggled. “You are! You are blushing!”

“I’m not!”

Anna tickled her sides briefly before hugging her close and kissing her forehead. “But seriously,” she said quietly. “That was amazing, Elsa. I’m—literally at a loss for words right now. I can’t…tell you how _happy_ I am right now.”

When Elsa looked up, she caught sight of the goofy and dreamy smile turning her sister’s lips upwards. She chuckled, and then kissed her cheek. “I feel the same way,” she whispered tenderly against Anna’s neck.

Anna held her a little bit tighter, hands caressing her left arm and her lower back. Elsa played with the ends of her copper hair, then let her fingers trace over the scar on her chest. She thought about that day, out there in the fjord, collapsing against her little sister’s frozen body and weeping with no respite. And she thought about now, how they had just made love to each other and how her heart was filled with so much mirth to the point that she was brimming with happiness.

“We should probably get dressed,” Elsa suggested. “Or at least wear our undergarments.”

“But the door is locked and it’s so comfortable here,” Anna mumbled sleepily. She sounded as if she was about to fall asleep, which was highly probable.

“Anna,” Elsa chuckled. “Do you know that Olaf can open locked doors with his carrot nose, right?”

A pause. Then, as Anna remembered of that fact, she groaned, “Ugh, do we really need to get up?”

Elsa laughed and disentangled from her sister’s arms. “Don’t worry about it, I got it.”

She quietly got up from the bed, momentarily conjuring an ice dress in order to cover her naked body, before retrieving two pairs of undergarments from a drawer. In the meantime, Anna got comfortable under the covers and seemed to enjoy herself as she watched Elsa walk around the room. She put their clothes at the end of the canopy bed and before she got back to bed, she blew out the fire inside the lamps.

Then, as only the moonlight now illuminated the silent bedroom, she joined her sister under the blankets. They quickly dressed, giggling and laughing as if they were back to being kids again, and then Anna gently spooned Elsa from behind.

“Why do you have to be so big and tall,” Anna whined, possessively wrapping her arms around Elsa’s now clothed abdomen and playing with the fabric of her new chemise.

“You’re such a big baby,” Elsa giggled.

“Don’t be mean to me,” Anna complained, but Elsa could hear the clear and delighted smile from her voice. “I just gave you an org—,”

“ _Don’t_ even finish that sentence,” Elsa’s cheeks flared up. Her sister laughed jovially behind her and nuzzled her face against Elsa’s now loose platinum blonde hair. The older woman sighed wistfully as she shivered, Anna’s gentle breathing fanning on the back of her neck, their hands linked together. Anna’s body shaped to her sister’s, and Elsa couldn’t help but feel a great sense of protection from the embrace, one that not even her magic could ever convey to her.

No more words were exchanged after that, and soon, they both fell asleep in each other’s arms, the only place where they truly felt at home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a reaaally long chapter but hey, they finally did the do! :) Also, I gave Anna a scar from the time Elsa froze her heart because I saw the idea on Tumblr and thought it was really cute, but I don't remember who posted it. Anyway, credits to that person :)
> 
> Feel free to tell me what you think about this in the comments, it is always a pleasure to chat with you guys. And, things are moving forward, which means that something bad will probably happen soon ;) when you see me write too much fluff, you know that heavy angst is coming next lol
> 
> Anyway, thank you all guys for reading and for giving this story so much love! I love you all :)


	14. Chapter 13

**ANNA** rose before the sun did. Her eyelids slowly opened, unveiling sleepy teal eyes under fluttering eyelashes. Memories of the night before flashed leisurely at the forefront of her mind, before the pleasant soreness on her legs reminded her of it in the gentlest way.

She stirred, a light sound scratching the back of her throat. Then, upon squeezing her arms, she realized that there was still a body between them, a warm, soft one. A smile bloomed on Anna’s lips as she nuzzled her nose on platinum blonde hair. When her eyes got used to the slight darkness inside the bedroom, she finally caught sight of Elsa’s sleeping face. Thin lips parted, eyelids fluttering from time to time, a peaceful look all over her features. Elsa had never looked more serene than in this moment, lying on her back with her head tilted towards her sister. Anna propped her weight on her elbow, lying on her side and taking advantage of Elsa’s unconscious state to freely admire her. With her right hand, she traced random patterns across Elsa’s clothed abdomen, before slipping her fingers underneath her chemise and directly touching her bare skin. She watched the lump of her hand beneath her sister’s garment, the movement lazy and calm. Then, as she once again let her eyes fall on Elsa’s face, she extracted her hand from beneath her chemise and brought it to Elsa’s lips, brushing her thumb against the underside of her bottom lip.

She followed the motion with entranced eyes, feeling Elsa’s warm breath fan on her hand. With her index finger she traced her top lip, and just as she was tempted to slip her fingertips within her mouth, Elsa’s eyes twitched and they opened slowly. She seemed dazed, staring at Anna before smiling shyly. A blush formed on her cheeks and she playfully bit Anna’s thumb.

The younger woman giggled before leaning in and giving her a brief peck.

“Good morning,” Anna whispered mere inches away from Elsa’s lips.

“Hi,” Elsa’s voice was hoarse and thick with sleep. Her hand came up to cup Anna’s shoulder, nimble fingers tracing invisible patterns on freckled skin.

“How are you feeling?” she asked. Her hand rested on the side of Elsa’s neck and caressed the few platinum strands of hair.

A blush appeared on Elsa’s cheeks. “A little sore,” she admitted shyly. “But it’s a good sore.”

“Yes?”

“Yes,”

Anna smiled before kissing her gently. Elsa cupped the side of her head, bringing her closer and timidly deepening the kiss. A sigh echoed between their colliding lips as they kissed slowly, as if time did not exist. When Anna pulled away, she rested her forehead against her sister’s as her mouth widened into an untamable grin. If waking up beside Elsa was a bliss, then getting to kiss her first thing in the morning was heaven.

They cuddled close, cherishing the woman that was between their arms, and enjoyed a quiet moment of silence. Soon, the soft colors of sunrise painted the walls of Elsa’s bedroom, covering Arendelle with the light of a new day. They listened to the worldly sounds of the village waking up, of the boats in the dock, of light chatter between people as they began to work.

Anna had probably fallen asleep a second time, because the next time she opened her eyes, the sun was high in the sky and Elsa was not beside her anymore. Groggily, she sat up, rubbing her sleepy eyes and stretching her arms above her head. Elsa was nowhere to be found and momentary dread settled at the bottom of her stomach. _What if she regrets what we did last night?_ , she wondered. _But she looked happy this morning!_ , another voice reasoned inside her mind. _What if she was just pretending? Maybe she didn’t want to hurt me_. Anna shook her head. It was all nonsense. She trusted Elsa. She wouldn’t _pretend_ to be happy just to make _her_ happy. Her sister had been _genuinely_ happy that morning. She had kissed her back with the same passion of the night before. _Nothing’s wrong. Stop fretting over nothing,_ she told herself. Finally, she got out of bed and started to think rationally. _She’s probably working,_ she concluded. A maid timidly entered the room, probably not expecting someone inside. The surprise on her face told Anna that.

“Oh! Your Majesty, good morning,” she said, bowing slightly before getting to her feet again. Anna blushed mildly, aware of the fact that she was wearing only bloomers and a feeble chemise.

“Hi. Do you happen to know where my sister is?” she asked softly.

“Queen Elsa is currently busy with a council meeting, your Majesty,”

Anna nodded. _Of course she is. She’s the most hardworking person I’ve ever met._ “Could you tell Gerda to prepare me a bath, please?”

“Of course,” the maid nodded with a kind smile. “Do you need anything else, your Majesty?”

“No, thank you,” Anna smiled. The maid nodded once again before leaving the room. Anna sat down at the end of the bed and quickly got dressed in the clothes of the day before. She was in _desperate_ need of a bath right now.

Then, once she was presentable, she exited Elsa’s bedroom and headed to her own. She passed by a clock, and saw that it was almost noon. _I slept all morning?_. Anna wasn’t surprised with herself, since she knew herself and her passion for sleep.

Once in her chambers, a warm bath awaited her and she thanked Gerda with a kind smile. The rest of the day passed by quickly. She only got to see Elsa after dinner, and they stumbled upon each other in a deserted hallway.

“Hey, Elsa,” Anna chirped. Her sister seemed tired, her shoulders slightly slouched — a posture she always tried to avoid — but her cerulean eyes seemed alive, burning with a fire Anna hadn’t seen in a while.

“Hey,” Elsa replied softly. She timidly reached out and grabbed Anna’s left hand, gently pulling her in and kissing her on the cheek. An unexpected display of affection, but Anna was pleased as a blush colored both of their faces.

“I missed you today,” Anna confessed sheepishly. She didn’t want to sound needy, nor clingy, but Elsa seemed to appreciate the admission, as she gave her another peck on the forehead.

“I missed you too,” she said, but there was an underlying seriousness and anxiousness to her voice that Anna didn’t miss. “What are you up to right now?”

“Nothing,” Anna shrugged with an open smile. “Looking for something to kill time. I promised Kristoff we could see each other later.”

“Oh, okay,” she nodded. Anna could see that something was bothering her and squeezed her fingers.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I just…” Elsa didn’t meet her gaze. “…had a weird dream last night.”

“Oh,” Anna suddenly dreaded what was coming next. “Do you want to…maybe talk about it?”

“It wasn’t a nightmare,” Elsa warned. “It had nothing to do with the evil spirit but…it was just me, surrounded by books, I guess.”

Anna raised her eyebrows. “Wait, what?”

“It’s stupid, never mind,” Elsa shook her head.

“No, no, wait,” Anna rested her hands against Elsa’s shoulders before she could change the subject or walk away. “I didn’t mean to sound…” she trailed off, not knowing where she was going with her words. “I guess it’s just…weird? As you said. But…were you doing something in your dream?”

“No,” Elsa replied. “I was just…there. I remember having a book in my hands, but I don’t remember what was written on it. And I guess…it was darker than usual? Like, there was only one candle lighting the room, which was— _small_.”

“Okay,” Anna nodded. “That sounds…oddly familiar,” she observed.

“Yes,” Elsa seemed to have the answer to her doubts. “I thought that…since the evil spirit involves magic, and last year we found out that our parents were studying magic, I guess that maybe…”

“You think that…”

“Maybe we could find an answer in that Secret Room that Olaf discovered. Maybe this evil spirit is like—I don’t know, like the other magical spirits. Like Bruni and Gale and…you know. And maybe somewhere, in a book, there’s the solution that could get us to find a way to defeat this evil spirit.”

A flicker of hope lit up inside Anna’s heart. She took a deep breath and met Elsa’s eyes. There was slight unease in them, but also anticipation, as if they were millimeters away from discovering _what_ that evil spirit wanted and, most importantly, _who_ it was.

Anna took Elsa’s hands in hers and pondered for a brief moment. She felt her sister’s eyes on her. “Well,” she began. “It’s not too late in the evening. Maybe we could head there now and begin our research. I have nothing to do now,”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to—,”

“Elsa,” Anna cupped her face and smiled. “You know I want to find the truth. You know I want you to stop having these nightmares. And if there’s the possibility that all the answers we need are within this castle, then I want to find them as soon as possible.”

Elsa seemed convinced now, as she slowly nodded her head. “Okay,”

Within minutes, they were quietly stepping in the Secret Room, both of them holding a candle so as to have as much light as possible. Everything was eerily silent; the castle hallways, the village outside. Maids and servants were nowhere to be seen and they both released a shaky sigh.

The smell of dust and ancient books filled their nostrils once they were surrounded by books and shelves.

“This is exactly like in my dream,” Elsa whispered to no one in particular.

Anna’s heart began to beat faster inside her ribcage, and she wondered if Elsa could hear it as clearly as she could. Individually, they leafed through each book, although some were unreadable and others simply had blank pages in them. Even though she wasn’t directly facing her, Anna could hear her sister’s audible breathing. _Maybe she’s scared,_ she pondered. She didn’t want her to feel scared. And so she asked, as quietly as possible so as to not startle her, “Did you find anything?”

“No,” Elsa replied just as quietly. “It’s just books about ice magic,” she sounded slightly disappointed, and frustrated, and Anna couldn’t blame her. She was getting impatient as well, as if the answer was right there, in front of them; they just couldn’t see it yet. “There has to be something,” Elsa muttered.

When Anna turned to glance at her sister, she found her crouched, with her braid swung over one shoulder and hands aggressively rummaging through all the books. Anna almost felt bad, and useless; she wished she could just grant Elsa’s needs. Find the answer and end this torment she had to go through _alone_ , because it was she who had the nightmares and suffered, not Anna.

Long minutes passed by, but nothing interesting or relevant was found. Elsa groaned and shook her head. “This doesn’t make sense,” she said.

“What?”

“As soon as I walked in here, I was _sure_ that it was the same room I was in my dream. And I had the answer in my dream. But…here, I have _nothing_.”

Anna stayed silent. She didn’t know what to say nor do. Elsa seemed almost desperate, sitting on the ground with her legs crossed and her shoulders even more slouched. There was a frustrated pout on her lips and Anna decided to sit beside her.

“Maybe we have to look in the library.”

“No, I am _certain_ this is the right room. I just…”

Elsa stood up, closing her eyes and frowning. She looked as if she was trying to remember her dream, as if she was summoning it in real life. Then, when she opened them again, she quickly walked to the shelves on the right corner, and began to read the titles of each book. Anna curiously stared at her, holding her breath.

And then Elsa gasped. “ _Anna_ …”

“What? What is it?”

Anna sprung to her feet, rushing to Elsa’s side. She put a hand on her shoulder, holding onto and peering over it. Between her sister’s hands, lay an open book — its title, _The evil that lies within_ — its pages torn at the edges and yellow from time. “There is this… _spirit_. Ancient spirit. It says that it was born before the other ones. But…” Elsa had trouble translating the next few words. When she turned the page, both of them gasped audibly. The image of a hideous, faceless man, was found in the tenth page of the book. Its body wasn’t tangible; it seemed to be made of black vapor, with no edge lining his body. The only light in his appearance were his glowing white eyes, a contrast to the rest of his figure. He seemed incredibly tall, and impetuous, imposing. Elsa spoke next, her voice slightly trembling, “ _He_ has a name. _M_ _ørkets Herre_. The man of the dark.”

Anna felt a chill run down her spine and she swallowed the fear that rose up in her throat. “Is he…the one from your dreams?” she asked tentatively.

“I never saw his face,” Elsa said absentmindedly, reading more about this evil spirit. “But…I think this is the answer. It says that—look,” Elsa leaned more against Anna so that she could see more of the words, even though she didn’t understand all of them. “This spirit likes to haunt dreams. He thinks it’s funny when people wake up screaming and kicking, crying as if they were kids. He also has a fondness for making people feel guilty and—that’s what he’s been doing to me! He said—these horrible things about me, saying that I only hurt you and that I’m a burden and that I just—Anna—,”

“This all makes sense,” Anna breathed, touching the page. “This is the _answer_ ,”

They looked at each other briefly before Elsa went on. “Maybe this book says how to get rid of him. It says that…oh my goodness,”

“What? Elsa, what is it?”

“ _If_ he succeeds in entering the victim’s life, like, _materially_ , it could be terrible,” Elsa read slowly.

“What?!” Anna grabbed the book in vain. “Does it say how we can prevent that from happening?”

Elsa read with pursed lips but soon shook her head. “It doesn’t—,”

Anna groaned. “What are we going to do?” she asked faintly.

“Wait,” Elsa reached for her shoulder. “Someone seemed to write down something at the bottom of this page. It’s in English, look,”

They both read the words out loud:

_Mine own sharpest strength shall defeat thee_

_With this union I setteth Arendelle free_

A moment of silence followed. “What does this even mean?” Anna asked, sounding frustrated.

“I don’t know,” Elsa replied sadly. They looked at each other for a moment.

Then, Anna said, “I think I’m going to go. I don’t want to worry Kristoff and the others.”

“Okay,” Elsa nodded.

“But—keep that book, alright? We can read more tomorrow and think up something.”

“Okay,” Elsa repeated. “I’m just going to stay here and look for more answers.”. Then, Anna gently leaned in, kissing her lips softly and resting her forehead against hers.

“We’re going to figure this out.”

“Promise?”

Anna nodded. “I promise,”

They briefly kissed once again, before Anna completely left the Secret Room to join their friends at the stables. Elsa stayed there, back against the shelf as she tried to discover more about the evil spirit — the _M_ _ørkets Herre._ It went on, saying that it was a brutal spirit, and according to those who had heard him in their dreams, his voice was deep and akin to hell. Apparently, it played with people’s worst fears and toyed with them until they woke up from their fitful sleep. Elsa remembered that time she dreamed about killing Anna and, indeed, it was what she feared the most, even more so after the Great Thaw. Elsa felt restless, uneasy, and she began to pace back and forth. The more she looked at the spirit’s image on the book, the more she felt like something was missing.

She spent another fifteen minutes inside the Secret Room, leafing through other books on the shelves in order to find more information about the _M_ _ørkets Herre._ She found nothing apart from the one she had mostly read with Anna. Then, just as she was tidying the mess they had created, she heard a noise coming from the library; the only chamber that, through a narrow corridor, was connected to the Secret Room. Elsa furrowed her brows and went back to her task. When, not even five seconds later, the sound echoed again, Elsa swallowed and stood up with her back straight. Magic pulsed through her fingertips, ready to blast in case danger presented itself. She grabbed the candle, pointing it forward towards the dark hallway. Her irregular heartbeat momentarily rendered her deaf, as it was the only thing she could hear in this ringing silence.

“Anna?” she called out, voice coming out shaky. She took a tentative step forward, towards the dark, and called out again, “Anna?”

There was an edge to her voice and Elsa could only hear her own shallow breathing, echoing in the pitch black darkness of the corridor as she walked slowly. Only when she was back in the library did she gasp audibly in fear. This _wasn’t_ the library, but at the same time, it _was_. But the atmosphere was eerie, a feeble red light illuminated the whole chamber, and it was as if she had entered an alternative world; where everything was darkness, and frightening, and it felt like being in _hell_ , even though she was sure she was still in the castle. Elsa stepped back in fear, her back colliding with the nearest wall. But as soon as her body made contact with it, she pulled away immediately; somehow, the wall was sticky, and when Elsa touched it with her hand, her fingertips came back stained with a crimson dark liquid. _Is this blood? What is happening?!_

The candle’s light flickered, as if it was about to die, and Elsa was helpless. Soon, the room would be shrouded in a red darkness, and she was alone, having no idea what to do. She rubbed her fists against her eyes, as if it would send the hallucination away, but nothing happened. The library was still weird, and the sky outside was devoid of the stars and of the Northern Lights.

“Anna?!” Elsa called out helplessly. She was starting to freak out, her breath accelerating until she was almost hyperventilating. Instead of her sister’s sweet voice, a deep and throaty snicker answered her call.

“Anna is _not_ here, my dear,” the voice said with malice. Elsa recognized it immediately. It was the evil spirit that had been haunting her dreams; it was the _M_ _ørkets Herre._ Elsa looked around herself, frantically moving the candle left and right. The flame flickered again until it completely died out, falling to the ground when Elsa let go of it.

Elsa whimpered helplessly and used the ice blue glow of her magic in order to better illuminate the room. Then, she walked towards the door with purpose and quick strides; perhaps, exiting the library would put an end to this weird situation. But, alas, when she was finally out in the hallway, it seemed to go on forever, and the same red atmosphere clung to the air. One thing she noticed as she walked down the hall; all the paintings of her parents had a bloody cross on their faces, as if the person had done this in order to erase their memory.

“Where do you think you are going?” the evil spirit asked, sounding annoyed. “There’s no escape here, Elsa. This is who you are. A terrorized woman who does _nothing_ but _harm_.”

“Stop!” she yelled, desperately clutching her head. She gritted her teeth and shut her eyes, trying to shut the spirit’s voice out. She tried to remember what that book had said. The _M_ _ørkets Herre_ played with your fears. It tortured you just because it pleased him. And Elsa had no idea how to stop him. To stop _this_. “Where are you?! Show yourself!”

This moment almost reminded her of when she had gone to find out who had been calling her, but at the time, she had felt excited to go into the unknown. To discover all the secrets that the past had concealed all this time. Now, she wanted to see who she needed to brave, but she was afraid. Afraid because the being that was calling her was not good, but _evil_ , and perilous.

“You _know_ who I am,” the voice said. “But it does not matter now, doesn’t it?”

In that exact moment, Elsa turned around the corner and stumbled upon—

“Gerda?”

But Gerda’s face was contorted in an anguished frown, and when Elsa looked down, she saw that her hands were — _frozen_? When Elsa looked up at the maid’s face, tears of pain were filling her usually kind eyes. _What is happening_?

“Look at what you’ve done!” the evil spirit exclaimed, his voice booming in the hallway. “ _You_ did this. _You_ froze her hands.”

“I—I didn’t do anything!” Elsa replied, but her voice was weak and quiet compared to his loud voice.

“Oh, but _you_ did, my dear Elsa,” the _M_ _ørkets Herre_ snickered. Then, a blurry and faded image appeared beside Elsa — _a memory?._ It depicted Elsa, grabbing Gerda’s hands harshly, screaming incoherent, _angry_ words at the maid before ice encased her hands. Then, it completely vanished. It seemed that she _had_ frozen Gerda’s hands, but _how? When?_

“No,” Elsa whispered, looking at the maid in fear. She retreated, glowing fingers quivering as she shook her head. “ _No_ ,” she repeated, her chest rising and falling rapidly as fear overcame her whole body. Gerda took a step forward, trying to scoot closer to the frightened queen, but Elsa — it came spontaneous to shoot ice from her hands, aiming at the maid’s feet in order to create more distance between them. Various screams of pain and agony filled the hallway, and they seemed to come from _everywhere_. They penetrated her ringing ears until Elsa desperately covered them.

_Make it stop. Stop!_

“You are a _monster_.”

Elsa run away from the screaming Gerda, and when stumbling upon staff of the castle, they all seemed to want to touch her, or to at least come closer. And whenever they tried, their futile attempts were met with blasts of ice from the queen. Elsa didn’t want to hurt them, didn’t want to use her magic like that one time at her Ice Palace, but it seemed that fear and anxiety had gotten the upper hand of her body, making her act on the irrational fear. She tried to tell herself that it was all in her head, that it wasn’t real; that the evil spirit was just messing with her brain. But the more she did that, the more she grew fearful. And the more fright pulsed through her veins, the more her fingers seemed to shoot ice at innocent people who deserved nothing but respect and safety.

“All you do is _run away_ from your problems. You are a _coward_ , Elsa.”

The _M_ _ørkets Herre_ never stopped speaking, filling her ears with words of malice. And Elsa walked down hallway after hallway, using her powers to protect herself from people that had been nothing but _loyal_ to her.

Once she reached the Second Great Hall, she noticed the snow falling from the ceiling, the frost following her wake. She heard the crack of ice, felt her hands tremble and saw them glow blue with magic. Servants called out her name, but she scared them away by blasting a powerful layer of ice. She descended the stairs, but once she was at the bottom of them, the staff of the castle were all around her, closing in on her and repeatedly calling her name. Elsa felt herself getting smaller, as she cradled her head with cold hands. _Stop. Stop. Get Anna, she will know what to do_. _Stop._

_Stop!_

“Monster. _Monster!_ ”

Elsa whimpered and fell to one knee.

“You are a _failure_. You are a _shame_ to this land. To _my_ land.”

Elsa shut her eyes and trembled. She wished all of this could stop but _knew_ that it was impossible. Unless she found out a way to escape this torture, she was _stuck_ here.

And the only thing she could do was crouch helplessly and unwillingly listen to all the horrible words that the evil spirit threw at her.

* * *

When Anna finally reached the stables — Olaf by her side, holding her hand — she released a shaky breath. Leaving Elsa alone after such a discovery hadn’t been easy, but she also didn’t want her friends to worry. Still, she felt a chill run up her spine when a particularly cold breeze run in the streets of the silent village.

She opened the door that led to the stables and heard Kristoff’s voice.

“—Sven, come on, _share_ ,”

Anna walked in just as Kristoff put a half of a carrot in his mouth. He munched happily and greeted her friend with a cheerful wave.

“Hey, Anna,” he said, his words slightly muffled.

“Hi Kristoff!” she replied. “Hello Sven,” she ruffled the brown hair on his muzzle and giggled when he made a noise of appreciation.

“How are you? You look…anxious?”

“What? I’m not,” she forced a laugh. Anna had to admit that she was still a bit shaken by what they had found out in the Secret Room. Still, knowing what they had to face was better than now knowing anything at all. “Just…maybe tired?”

“Oh,” Kristoff’s face fell slightly. “We could have postponed, you know. I don’t want to tire you out,”

“What?” Anna laughed softly. “It’s okay, Kristoff. Don’t worry, I’m fine.”

She offered him her best smile and sat by his side.

“She is,” Olaf agreed, settling beside her.

“How’s the ice delivering thing going?” Anna asked conversationally.

“Oh, well, it’s great. Still a little bit tough, but it’s nice. You know I love ice, so I will never get tired of it,” Kristoff chuckled to himself. “Good thing you have a sister with ice magic,”

Anna blushed at the mention of her sister. The memory of the night before was pleasant and enough to deepen the color of her cheeks. She hoped Kristoff wouldn’t notice. Luckily, the dim light inside the stables prevented that from happening.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “I’m so happy she is slowly realizing what a great gift her powers are.”

“Speaking of Elsa,” Kristoff changed the subject. “How is she?”

Anna started, “Oh, she—,”

But she never got to finish her sentence, because then Olaf spoke and excitedly announced, “Look, it’s snowing!”

Anna and Kristoff looked at each other and then got up to look out the small window. It was, _indeed_ , snowing. _Strange,_ they both thought. Anna would think nothing of it, if it weren’t for the fact that they were at the end of spring and reaching summer. Something was wrong _with_ Elsa.

“Maybe we should—,”

The door of the stables opened suddenly, a panting Kai appearing on the other side.

“Oh, your Majesty! There you are!”

“Kai, what’s wrong?”

“It’s Queen Elsa. Her magic is out of control.”

“What?” Anna asked in bewilderment, her eyebrows furrowing.

“Yes,” Kai nodded, still trying to catch his breath. “She… _attacked_ people of the staff and she seems really upset,” there was concern and a slight anxiousness in his eyes.

“Where is she?”

“In the Second Great Hall.”

“Take me to her, _right now_.”

Together, they ran back to the castle. Upon entering the large hall, Anna immediately saw all the servants around Elsa — who was at the bottom of the stairs — who tried to vainly communicate with her. Her sister was kneeling, arms around her head as if seeking refuge in her own embrace. When Elsa let out a frightened scream, the blizzard grew in intensity, and the servants sought shelter behind nearby furniture. Anna made a shield in front of her face with her forearms and then determinedly strode forward.

“Anna, be careful!”

“Your Majesty, it’s dangerous!”

Kai and Kristoff’s worried voices reached her ears, but she pointedly ignored them. The wind whistled and played with the ends of her copper hair. The cold was biting, uninviting, but she managed to reach Elsa. She heard Kristoff’s voice calling her name, but as soon as she touched Elsa’s shoulders, nothing existed apart from her and her sister.

“Elsa,” she said breathlessly, dropping to her knees. When she managed to push apart her arms and get ahold of her wrists, Anna noticed that Elsa was crying and that tears were relentlessly streaming down her pale cheeks. Her eyes were sealed, her teeth gritted and her jaw clenched. _What is happening?_

“Stop,” Elsa faintly whispered. “ _Please_ , stop,” she pleaded weakly.

“Elsa, it’s me. Anna,”

As soon as she said her name, Elsa opened her eyes slowly and gasped at the sight of her face. Anna met her gaze and tried to touch her face, wipe away her tears, but Elsa jerked away, rejecting her comfort. Anna tried not to feel hurt, because it was clear that Elsa was not okay right now. Something was terribly wrong and she had a bad feeling about all of this.

“I did this to you,” Elsa whispered despairingly. “I _did_ this to you.”

Anna frowned. “What are you talking about?”. She was immensely confused. And even though Elsa had rejected her before, she once again tried to reach out for her face. But Elsa didn’t let her touch her.

“I’m _hurting_ you and I don’t know how to stop,” Elsa continued.

Anna shook her head. “What? You aren’t making any sense, Elsa,”

Elsa cried softly. “All I do is _hurt_ you. I’m a _monster_.”

Those words sounded familiar, and so Anna asked quietly, “Who said that?”

“ _He_ said that. And _he_ is right,” Elsa wept, her shoulders shaking with her cries. She cradled her own body, hugging herself and shutting everyone out.

Anna _knew_ who _he_ was. And she knew that Elsa’s terrible state right now _had to_ involve the evil spirit. “No,” she stated firmly. She finally grabbed Elsa’s face and let their foreheads touch. Elsa tried to wriggle away from her, but Anna had grown stronger, and so she managed to keep her close. Then, she spoke softly but firmly. “What he says is _not_ true. You are _not_ a monster. Do you hear me? You are _not_ a monster, Elsa. You are a _gift_ , and I will _never_ grow tired of saying this. You make my life so much better, and _this_ is the truth, Elsa. I love you. I love you, okay? I _love_ you,”

She looked deeply into her sister’s eyes, who seemed to absorb her every word. Elsa’s trembling, glowing hand came up to her face. Her index finger traced a line on Anna’s cheeks, and when Elsa looked at her own finger, she grimaced. “But…” she whispered. “This…is _blood_.”

Anna frowned. _She’s hallucinating. He is controlling her mind through illusions._

“Elsa,” she softly called out. Elsa seemed too engrossed in staring at her, _apparently_ , bloody fingertip. “Elsa, look at me. _Look at me_.”

When Elsa looked up at her, cerulean meeting teal, she seemed to snap out of it. Her dazed and unfocused gaze disappeared as she blinked rapidly. Her erratic breathing halted for a moment before it began to slow down gradually.

“Anna?”

The storm around them ceased, until few snowflakes were falling from the ceiling. “It’s okay. I’m here,”

Elsa’s face contorted into both relief and pain as she sobbed her sister’s name. “ _Anna_. _”_

The two sisters fell into a deep embrace, Elsa’s body practically slumping into Anna’s arms. Anna whispered soothing words against her ear, feeling her petite frame shake terribly between her arms. She held her sister as she kept weeping and sobbing freely, occasionally letting out anguished sounds.

Anna rubbed her hands up and down her back. When she looked around themselves, she saw the worried looks on the servants’ faces and with few words she dismissed everyone. She heard approaching footsteps, and as she helped Elsa get to her feet — the older sibling hiding her face in the crook of her neck — Anna faced their friends.

“Anna, what happened?”

Anna sighed and lightly shrugged. “I don’t know, I just…”

“Is Elsa okay?” Olaf asked, sounding concerned. Kristoff’s face was contorted in worry as well.

Anna tightened her arms around Elsa’s body. “She will be.”

“Okay, well…if you need anything, you know we’re here for you,” Kristoff said softly.

Anna smiled gratefully at him, even though it didn’t reach her eyes. “Thank you,” she said quietly.

Then, Anna left the hall, leading her sister to her own bedroom. Once in the privacy of her chambers, she locked the door and walked Elsa to her bed. The still shaken older sibling sat down slowly and hugged herself.

“ _Anna_ …” Elsa whimpered when Anna momentarily let go of her hand in order to light up the lamp beside her bed.

“You’re okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” Anna said quickly, love and concern laced in her soft words. She immediately sat beside Elsa, wrapping her arms around her body and pulling her closer. She left a lingering kiss on her forehead and whispered soothing words against her pale skin. Elsa trembled between her arms and Anna tried not to let fear get the best of her. When various, silent moments passed and Elsa’s body ceased shaking, she tentatively asked, “What happened?”

Elsa sighed in defeat. She cupped Anna’s elbow with both of her hands and nuzzled her neck. “I don’t know, I was just…in the Secret Room, going through other books and then I heard this… _noise_ …coming from the library. But when I got there it was like…I wasn’t in the castle anymore. I was—I don’t _know_ where I was. It was just…all _red_ and dark. It was—I couldn’t feel anything but deep and impetuous _fear_. I walked down this hallway and then I heard…this male voice, and I _knew_ that it was _him._ And he said— _things_ …and then these…I think they were servants, but some wanted to… _kill_ me? I don’t know, it was all so confused and loud and just…they all wanted _me_ , or…and then _he_ said— _Anna_ —,”

“You’re okay. It’s okay, I’m here,” Anna tightened her hold around her as soon as she heard the despair in Elsa’s voice.

“He’s coming,” Elsa whispered, her warm breath tickling Anna’s neck. But the goosebumps that covered her skin weren’t caused by that, but rather by the incredibly frightening voice Elsa had used for her statement. “He’s _coming_ , Anna. And I don’t know what to do and he wants our family to perish…he wants to destroy _everything_ that we’ve achieved and he…he _threatened_ me and…I—he’s coming to _kill_ us, Anna.”

Anna swallowed thickly and rested a hand against Elsa’s forehead, brushing her platinum blonde bangs, before kissing her skin softly. She closed her eyes and let her lips linger, trying to think rationally and not let her own fear overcome her brain. One question came to her mind, and she asked quietly, “What happened when you saw me?”

Elsa gently pulled away from the embrace — in order to meet her gaze — but she never disentangled their intertwined arms. She seemed to analyze every single thing about her face, and then repeated the same action that she had done a few minutes ago in the Hall. Elsa traced her fingertip along her cheekbone and whispered, “You…you were all bloody and he said…that _I_ had done that. That it was all my _fault_. That I was hurting you and that…and then, he just—just threatened me again, and again, and _again_. He kept saying that he will come to destroy _us_.”

“Did he say when he is coming?”

“No…” Elsa shook her head as Anna took a hold of her hand, squeezing it gently. “He just—he said that he will kill us but _until_ then…he will—,”

“—haunt you.”

Elsa swallowed and nodded meekly. “Hm,” she hummed.

Anna sighed, feeling hot anger boil at the bottom of her stomach. “That is _not_ fair. I—I just want to do _something_. I can’t stand to see you like this.”

Elsa smiled sadly. “There’s nothing you can do, Anna,”

Anna sighed in defeat. “I just wish there was, though,” she placed a hand over the one that was now cupping her cheek, and rested her forehead against Elsa’s.

“I know,”

They fell into another tight and warm embrace, Anna trying to convey all her love into it. She kissed the top of her head, smiling when Elsa released a sigh of relief. When that night Elsa fell asleep between her arms, looking like an angel, Anna swore to herself that she would put an end to her sister’s suffering and bring her peace, no matter the cost. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since Elsa said that she feels like there's something missing from the evil spirit...what is your opinion about him? In this chapter, I revealed what the spirit's name is, but who do you think he really is? ;)
> 
> Let me know in the comments :)


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really sorry for the long wait, but hopefully this is worth it! also, this chapter is heavy, so brace yourself guys ;)
> 
> enjoy, and if you want to tell me your opinion, please don't hesitate to comment down below! I'm always happy to speak with all of you guys :)

**ONE** long month passed, Elsa’s dreams devoid of the evil spirit. It seemed that, after the hallucinations following the discovery of its name, everything suddenly fell quiet once she snapped out of it. Anna had held her throughout the night, and she knew that neither of them had gotten a lot of sleep. Her sister had kept fidgeting, toying with her fingers and cuddling closer every fifteen minutes. Anna must have felt as anxious as Elsa had. But the days that followed, everything had gone back to normal. They told their friends what had happened, what was _probably_ going to happen, and reassured them that, as long as they were together, they could face it successfully.

And Elsa had been so preoccupied with the evil spirit, that she had almost forgotten that Anna’s twenty second birthday was quickly approaching. Fortunately, she had managed to clear both of their schedules for the summer solstice, and had organized a nice day for her sister, who deserved nothing but the best after all she had gone through.

Still, she was a little bit stressed out, going through the last paperwork of the day before supper. Elsa sighed in distress, rubbing her sore eyes and slouching against the wood of the desk. There were still hours of light at her disposal, and even though she’d rather give up on everything and take a nap, her pride told her to keep going. At least, if she held on, she would finish her duties as queen for the week. And as stubborn as she was, she once again picked up the quill and went through the same paperwork for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

However, before she could stain the paper with black ink, the door to her study spread wide open, revealing a smug Anna, before it closed behind her sister. Elsa heard the familiar sound of the lock, and as her sister strode towards her — _is she trying to be sultry or something?_ — Elsa felt her throat go dry. She watched her intently, all focus now lost as Anna shut the blinds of the windows. No one was outside now, but more privacy was appreciated by the both of them.

Then, Anna turned around, a playful smirk dancing on her lips as she placed a hand against Elsa’s chair and tugged it backwards. Its legs slid against the hardwood floor and it made a quiet sound. And suddenly, Anna’s face was merely inches away from Elsa’s, her body bended over her older sister’s sitting form, invading all of her personal space.

“Hi,” she whispered, her eyes intently watching Elsa.

Elsa stammered out a response. “H—hello.”

Anna held back a snort, her features briefly losing their sensuality at Elsa’s awkwardness. Two seconds later, she was back in character, both her hands resting against the armrests of the chair. “What are you doing?” she asked quietly. If she hadn’t been so close to her face, Elsa wouldn’t have even heard it.

“I’m—finishing the paperwork,” Elsa hated the way her voice sounded like a meek squeak, but Anna rendered her _weak_ , in the best way possible. Especially when she did unexpected things like these.

Anna’s smirk deepened. “Well, that can wait. I _surely_ cannot,” she wiggled her brows suggestively, and before Elsa could comprehend the _true_ meaning behind her words, Anna leaned in and kissed her deeply. As in, Elsa’s head actually leaned back from the force of Anna’s sweet and luscious lips crashing against hers. She felt Anna sigh against her mouth and as quickly as the kiss deepened, she let Anna overcome her. Elsa was a little afraid to admit that, even though she didn’t like to lose control, she wasn’t _really_ that opposed when Anna took charge in their intimate activities.

Elsa was, however, a little bit embarrassed at the sound that escaped her mouth when Anna’s tongue slipped past her lips. She felt a blush creep up on her cheeks, her own hands gripping Anna’s elbows.

When Anna pulled away, their breaths mingled together as she briefly placed her forehead against Elsa’s, who was breathing heavily. Anna smirked again, quickly pecking the side of her neck, before _kneeling_ in front of her. The sight brought an even deeper blush to her cheeks, as Anna, after she placed her hands on Elsa’s hips, harshly — but still, _gently_ , because even though Anna was sometimes rough, her actions were still filled with love — dragged her forward, making her seat on the edge of the chair. Elsa gasped, gripping the end of the armrests in order to steady herself.

“You’re wearing pants,” Anna noted, glancing up at Elsa with a hint of amusement in her eyes. Elsa could do nothing but nod, because her thoughts were just a mess inside her head, and nothing coherent would come out of her mouth if she dared to speak. Anna giggled softly, her fingers already unbuttoning Elsa’s light blue pants and leisurely taking her time in dragging them — and her undergarments — down Elsa’s legs, which trembled the more she slid the garments downward.

Elsa bit her bottom lip just as a needy whimper escaped her mouth. She felt actually embarrassed when she saw Anna’s slight surprise on her face as her teal eyes settled between Elsa’s legs. She settled comfortably against the backrest and peered down at her kneeling sister.

Their gazes met for one moment — enough for Elsa to catch sight of the sheer lust and hunger swimming in Anna’s eyes.

Anna broke eye contact as her lips connected with Elsa’s left calf, the leg gingerly raised and settled atop Anna’s shoulder. Elsa moaned quietly, her hips involuntarily wriggling as she felt Anna’s mouth ascend. When it reached her inner thigh, she nipped the soft and delicate skin, eliciting a satisfactory reaction out of Elsa before giving the same adoration to her sister’s other leg.

Elsa exhaled shakily, glancing towards the door, as if afraid that someone would barge in, even though Anna had made sure to lock the door.

As if sensing her anxiety, Anna reached up and touched her waist, mumbling against her inner thigh, “No one is going to come in. Just _relax_ ,”

Her sweet voice was a purr to Elsa’s ears, and the older woman tried to follow her sister’s advice, loosening the hold around the edge of both armrests. Anna smiled softly, whispering something akin to _good girl_ , before diving in and taking Elsa’s breath away.

Elsa’s mouth hung open as a strangled moan filled the silence of the room along with the sounds of Anna’s lips against her skin. She threw her head back, resting it against the headrest. She closed her eyes, aware of the fact that by doing so, Anna’s ministrations would be heightened. Elsa tried to stifle the obscene and sinful sounds coming from her own mouth, but it was nearly impossible with Anna literally _feasting_ on her, unmercifully gifting her with waves of pleasure.

The feeble sunlight filtering through the closed curtains shone on Anna’s copper hair, bathing them in a soft glow. Elsa stared at the ceiling, a hand blindly reaching forward to touch any part of Anna she could reach; her shoulder. She held onto it tightly, and as her hips started bucking forward, Anna let one of her own hands grip the one leg that was lying over her back, and the other gripped Elsa’s behind, changing the angle for the better.

Elsa slightly tilted her head to the side, towards the windows, but accidentally looked down. And she was not surprised when she caught Anna already staring up at her. _Goodness, I am not going to survive this_ , Elsa thought helplessly, as a moan poured out of her lips.

“ _Anna_ ,” she couldn’t help but whimper. She hoped that the walls of this castle were thick enough to conceal the sounds of pleasure she couldn’t obviously bottle up.

When the rise towards her climax started to quicken, Elsa leaned her body forward and lost one of her hands in Anna’s copper hair, tugging it so she could bring her more closer to where she needed her the most. Anna moaned herself at the rough action, and she grunted against Elsa’s wet core, briefly glancing up at Elsa with fiery determination in her eyes, before she closed them and completely focused on bringing Elsa to finish.

Elsa’s left hand shoot out to grasp onto the edge of her desk, gripping it so tightly that her knuckles turned white. She felt the familiar shortness of breath, the lack of oxygen in her lungs as her breath quickened, the lower part of her stomach burning almost sinfully.

Watching Anna was the last streak; she came undone seconds later, and she was almost proud of herself for doing so not so loudly. She whimpered Anna’s name, gripping her hair almost painfully, and in the distance, through the ringing of her ears, she heard the crack of ice.

She knew that she had frozen part of the desk, but that was a problem she could deal with later.

Anna left soothing kisses along her inner thighs, gently pulling Elsa back to earth. When the older woman finally regained her composure, she sat sluggishly against the backrest of the chair, her breath still shallow.

Elsa brushed Anna’s copper hair aside, wanting to see more of her face, as the younger woman — still knelt between her legs — gazed up adoringly at her. She had the gentlest smile upturning her lips, and Elsa couldn’t help but let a lopsided grin overtake her own lips.

“You almost froze the entire desk,” Anna giggled, slowly getting to her feet. Elsa shrugged and she automatically wrapped her arms around her sister’s slim waist as she settled on Elsa’s naked lap. Anna let her own arms circle Elsa’s neck.

They looked at each other briefly, before Elsa unconsciously leaned in for a kiss.

“Wait,” Anna placed a hand against her chest. A tinge of embarrassment and shyness covered her freckled cheeks. She smiled sheepishly as she quietly asked, “Don’t you want me, to, erm—,”

“I don’t _care_ ,” Elsa shook her head, shrugging as if it were nothing. “Come here,” she demanded with a husky voice. Anna seemed to tremble between her arms as their lips met in a heated kiss. When Anna parted her lips to welcome Elsa’s tongue, the older woman moaned when she tasted herself. Anna tightened her hold around her neck and cupped the side of her face with one hand, bringing them closer.

When they broke off the kiss, there was a slightly dazed gaze on both of their faces.

“Okay, that was—,” Anna blushed deeply.

“Unexpected,” Elsa commented. “But I’m definitely not complaining here,”

Anna giggled and nuzzled her nose against Elsa’s cheek. “You deserved a break from all that paperwork,”

“It’s not even that much since we split it up equally among us,” Elsa said. “But it’s definitely exhausting sometimes,”

“Completely agree,” Anna smiled. “Ah — I should probably go. Olaf is bugging me with his obsession for books. And I don’t want him to find us like this, so — yes! Going, now,” Anna’s chirpy voice was a delight to Elsa’s ears as she laughed quietly.

Anna got off her lap, helping Elsa dress before getting to her feet with sparkling teal eyes.

“Give me a kiss,” Elsa pouted, reaching forward to grab Anna’s wrist and pulling her closer.

“You’re _so_ cute,” Anna giggled, lips briefly colliding with Elsa’s before their big smiles prematurely broke off the kiss. “Well, see you later at dinner. Oh! — and don’t forget charades tonight!”

“I won’t,” Elsa laughed, shaking her head at her sister.

Anna skipped towards the door, her behavior when leaving the study completely different from the one she had performed when coming in. Elsa shook her head once Anna was out of sight, and returned to her paperwork.

——————————————

The morning of Anna’s birthday, Elsa sneaked inside her sister’s chamber and quietly crawled into her bed. Her copper hair was a mess as she slept on her side, one arm resting beneath her head while the other was extended forward. Cute snores came out of her slightly parted lips, and once Elsa caught sight of the drool staining her pillow, she giggled. She lied beside her sister, the smile on her face wide and almost embarrassing.

“Anna,” she said in a singing voice. “Wake up, it’s your birthday,”

“Yeah?” Anna smiled in her sleep, unconsciously grasping Elsa’s hand.

Elsa giggled. “Yes, it’s _your_ birthday. Come on, wake up! I have so many things planned for us,” she exclaimed with an enthusiastic shake of Anna’s shoulders. The younger sister opened one eye and peeked at Elsa. She wore a playful smile, their gazes meeting before Anna threw herself in the older sibling’s arms.

Elsa’s laugh grew louder and stronger as she held Anna’s slim body between her arms. She kissed her temple, whispering, “Happy birthday, sunflower,” the pet name slipped involuntarily past her lips, and while she felt momentarily shy, it suit Anna perfectly.

“Hm,” she hummed contentedly against her neck. “Thank you,” her lips pecked Elsa’s pulse point, nuzzling into the crook of her neck.

“Come on, we have so much to do!” Elsa prodded her hips, wanting her to get up no matter how much she loved the weight of her sister on top of her.

Anna finally got off of her, helping Elsa stand up as well. While Elsa waited for her on the bed, Anna changed into a riding gear — as per her sister’s request.

“What are we doing today?” Anna asked from her dressing area. Elsa tried to stifle an amused chuckle when a groan followed Anna’s questions. She was always so goofy when getting dressed. 

“It’s a surprise,” she replied, the smile echoing inside her words. She knew she sounded secretive, but it was intentional, only because she knew that—

“What?! Ugh, Elsa, you _know_ I’m not a patient person,” Anna complained, even though her own smile could be heard from her voice.

Elsa couldn’t help but part her lips in a bittersweet grin when she softly reasoned, “You still waited for me to come back, though.”

When Anna appeared from her dressing area, her copper hair flowing gently on her back and her hands adjusting the black and dark green jacket, she wore a puzzled look before realization dawned on her face. “Oh,” she sighed quietly. “Well, I will _always_ wait for you. You’re worth it,”

Elsa stood up, crossing the room in quick strides when the need to hold her sister overcame her body. She hugged her tightly, wrapping her arms around her neck and breathing in her perfume. She smelled of flowers and sandalwood, woodsy, and Elsa took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. Anna’s arms circled her waist, and her head found its solace under Elsa’s chin; their slight height difference making them fit together perfectly, like puzzle pieces. It was like the sky meeting the sea, chiming with each other and creating the horizon for a beautiful future, _their_ future.

Anna was the first to pull away, only to bring up her hands and cup Elsa’s cheek, kissing her chastely on the lips. The collision reverberated inside Anna’s quiet bedroom, and Elsa caressed the sides of her sister’s neck, gazing deeply into her teal eyes.

“First things first,” she whispered. “Breakfast,”

The food awaiting them at the Great Hall all belonged to the list of Anna’s favorite meals; which, after all, consisted of mostly _chocolate_. The younger sibling squealed happily at the sight of just so much delicious sweets, and it was all for them!

“You’re amazing,” Anna said with a serious expression on her face, thanking Elsa with a discreet kiss on the cheek before _running_ towards the table and taking her seat. Elsa softly laughed to herself, blushing when she caught sight of the amused smirk on Gerda’s face.

“Good morning, your Majesty. Happy birthday,”

“Thank you!” Anna beamed. Kristoff and Olaf sat one across her and the other beside her, although the snowman couldn’t really eat.

Elsa momentarily stared at the trio, enjoying the scene of complete happiness and familiarity. Everything was so cozy; from the blinding sun shining and dancing with mirth outside, to the family she had thought she had lost not long ago, sitting loudly at the table of the Great Hall. Even the servants that were at their service this morning seemed to look happier, as if they had put the evil spirit behind them. Elsa knew that, actually, it _wasn’t_. If anything, it still needed to come and disrupt their peace. But for now, everything was okay, and Elsa shook her head, chiding herself. No, she wouldn’t think negatively today. Especially today, on Anna’s _birthday_. Twenty four hours where her love for her sister could be infinite without being questioned at all. Twenty four hours where she would get to celebrate the day that had brought her, this little, beaming star, into the world.

“Elsa, come on! This is delicious!” Anna exclaimed with her mouth full, chocolate pudding smeared all over her cheeks. Elsa snorted, cerulean eyes sparkling as she went over to the table, sitting at the head and beside her sister.

They spent a couple hours with their friends, before Elsa announced that she would take Anna to her surprise. While the younger sibling couldn’t contain her excitement, jumping up and down, Elsa waited for Gerda to hand her the basket with their picnic. She skipped before Elsa towards the stables, quickly fetching two horses for the long ride that awaited them. Outside, the air was warm and filled with summer life; the birds chirped, and today, as per Elsa’s request, Gale payed them a visit. The wind spirit run between them, making them laugh happily. As they trotted through the cramped and swarming streets of the village, the people greeted their Queens with enthusiastic waves of the hand. Elsa looked over at Anna, and she was _glowing_. Her smile was radiant, almost as beautiful as the sunshine. On the contrary, Anna’s face shone _more_ than the sun hanging in the cloudless sky, and Elsa couldn’t help but stare, wishing she could freeze this moment in time, or at least take a picture. She decided to seize this day instead, blushing but not averting her gaze when Anna turned to meet her eyes. Anna’s smile softened, and turned into the one that was especially reserved for her older sister.

Once they were out of the bustling village and they dove into the forest, Anna bumped her feet with Elsa’s and smiled playfully at her.

“So,” she dragged out the sound. “What are we going to do?” she subtly eyed the basket behind her and wiggled her eyebrows.

“I told you, _it’s a surprise_ ,” Elsa giggled, finding Anna’s impatience amusing and endlessly endearing. “But, I can tell you that we’re going to pay our Northuldra friends a visit.”

“We’re going that far away?” Anna asked with astonishment.

“Yes,” Elsa smiled. “We’re probably going to spend the night at their camp. But I will show you the real surprise this afternoon, after our picnic.”

“Alright,” Anna accepted the fact that she would not find out what the surprise was, at least for now. A silence settled upon them, one that was only interrupted by the occasional neigh of their horses or Gale’s mirth as it run between the grass and the branches of the trees. “Gale’s here,” Anna noted, a content smile on her lips.

The Wind spirit ruffled her hair, as if in greeting. Anna giggled and shook her head at the playful spirit.

“I told the spirits that today would be a special day. I hope you don’t mind some mystical company,” Elsa said.

“Of course I don’t mind. I love the spirits!” Anna replied enthusiastically. “I also missed them. I think that…the last time I saw them was, well…”

Elsa understood and immediately threw an apologetic and pitiful smile her sister’s way. “I know,” she murmured. There was a pause in the conversation as they each reminisced the awful period that had followed their last adventure in the Enchanted Forest. “But let’s not think about that today,” Elsa encouraged with a smile. “Today is a beautiful day. The sun blesses us with the beginning of summer and above all, we are _together_. That’s all that matters now.”

“That’s all that matters,” Anna mirrored, a tone of determination lingering in her voice.

The rest of their morning passed by in the blink of an eye, and soon, around lunchtime, they gathered beneath a tree, taking advantage of its shadow but being grateful for the sunlight nonetheless. Elsa sat with her back against the dark bark and Anna settled sideways on her lap. She tucked her head in the crook of her sister’s neck and sighed blissfully. Everything was just so perfect, that she lost touch with reality for a moment.

Elsa wrapped an arm around her chest and let it circle Anna’s shoulders, bringing her closer until her chin was on the top of her head. They silently ate the sandwiches Gerda had prepared for them, and Elsa momentarily closed her eyes.

“Kristoff might have found a girl,” Anna said after a while, her words slightly muffled by food. Elsa chewed before swallowing slowly.

“Oh?” Elsa sounded hesitant. “How does that make you feel?”

“I’m glad he found someone. He deserves happiness. And…” Anna began to sound remorseful. “I treated him unkindly the last months of our relationship. Both of us were suffering, and I put all my frustration and grief upon his shoulders. He didn’t deserve any of the bad words I’ve called him. So…if he’s happy, then I am, too. He’s like family.”

“He is,” Elsa agreed softly, squeezing her shoulder blade. “I’m sorry for how it ended between you,”

“Yeah, it wasn’t…beautiful,” Anna cringed. “That day was horrible for me.”

“I know,” Elsa kissed her forehead. Anna submissively cuddled closer, getting smaller between her older sister’s arms. The wind blew softly and Anna smelled Elsa’s winter scent, filling her nostrils until it was the only thing she could smell. To this day, she wondered how could Elsa still know what had happened to her during her absence. It was hard to believe that, while Elsa had been frozen for a period of time, she still could follow her sister around, witnessing her lows as if being a ghost. Neither of them had the answer to that, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered, as Elsa had said hours earlier, was that they were together _now_.

“So,” Anna started. “We have no more food to eat so that means that lunch is over. Do I get to see my surprise now?”

She looked up at Elsa as her older sister softly giggled. She cupped her cheek before silencing her impatience by planting her lips against hers. The softness of Anna’s lips still made Elsa’s heartbeat quicken, the feeling of her breath on her cheeks disorienting and her intoxicating woodsy scent almost rendering her dizzy. Elsa’s hand trailed down Anna’s neck and she held it possessively, before dragging her fingers upwards and losing her hand in Anna’s copper fiery hair.

Anna softly moaned when their tongues met halfway, and Elsa pulled away, heavy breath and stuttering heart, before the kiss could go any further.

“Is this my surprise? Kissing under a tree?” Anna giggled, although Elsa could hear how breathless she still was.

Elsa smiled and shook her head. “No. And as much as I want to keep kissing you, there’s something I want to show you. Come on,”

They stood up, gathered their things in the basket, before mounting their horses once again. Within hours of a fast paced gallop, they reached the Enchanted Forest. Halfway through the camp, they stumbled upon Yelena.

“Elsa. Anna. Good afternoon,” the older woman smiled warmly at them. There was no more bad blood between them, after all they had gone through together the year before. “What are you doing here? What’s the occasion?”

“Oh, I just have a surprise for my sister. It’s her birthday.”

“Oh, happy birthday, Anna!”

Anna blushed and ducked her head shyly, unusually so. “Thank you, Yelena.”

Elsa turned to the older woman. “May we stay here for the night?”

“You are more than welcome here,” Yelena smiled. “Now, go. I don’t want to keep you up,”

“Perfect. See you tonight, then,”

“See you later!”

Elsa told her to wait, for she had to fetch something before they go. A mystical neigh was heard in the distance as the Water spirit soon emerged from the nearby puddle of water.

“The Water spirit?”

Elsa smiled mischievously at her. She placed her hands against its muzzle and soon, a thin layer of glowing ice covered its entire body, making it possible for them to mount it. “Come on. We’ll leave our horses here,”

“What? Why?”

Elsa’s smile turned to a grin. “We’re going for a ride. Come on,” she said with enthusiasm.

They left their horses to the Northuldra’s care and Elsa mounted the Water spirit, before helping and hoisting Anna up. Her sister settled behind her, and she breathed shakily; she would _not_ concentrate on the feeling of Anna’s breeches clad thighs, pressed tightly against hers. She would _not_ think about her modest breasts resting gently against her back, her younger sister’s arms going around her waist and holding onto her firmly.

“You ready?” she breathed, and Anna nodded, her chin on Elsa’s left shoulder.

Then, with a light prodding, the Water spirit neighed happily before cantering out of the Northuldra village. They passed by some people, both of them recognizing Honeymaren and Ryder, walking alongside their reindeers. The two sisters greeted them joyfully, and while Elsa easily waved at them, Anna only shout out a few faint words, not being brave enough to let go of her older sister’s waist. Elsa knew that she was slightly intimidated by the Water spirit, but Anna had nothing to fear.

“So, where are you taking me?”

Elsa couldn’t help but let out a shocked laugh. “Oh, goodness, you’re insufferable.”

“Hey! I just want to know where we’re going!” she replied defensively, although there was still a bit of underlying playfulness in her voice. “Who knows, maybe you’re going to kidnap me and murder me,” she murmured under her breath.

Elsa softly laughed. “I’m not going to do that. You’re going to be just fine,”

Anna mumbled absentmindedly, her fingers drawing small invisible circles on Elsa’s abdomen. The older woman shuddered at the pleasant sensation and she smiled when she felt Anna nuzzle against her neck, nose brushing against her single braid over her shoulder.

As long as they were on solid ground, Anna seemed to babble excitedly about the surprise, oblivious to the change of scenery around her, but when the horse’s hooves clattered against thin ice, her speech faltered and her breath hitched. Elsa tried to contain her smile when she heard Anna gasp.

“Wait, wait, are you taking me…” Anna paused, eyes peering over Elsa’s shoulder. She seemed to focus on the horizon, and as soon as a mountain was spotted in the distance, Anna’s mouth quivered in a whisper as she tentatively asked, “…to _Ahtohallan_?”

Elsa braced herself, feeling somehow anxious despite the excitement coming in waves from behind her. The Water spirit neighed loudly at the name of the magical river of ice. “Yes,” Elsa timidly replied. The next moment, the life was squeezed out of her as Anna embraced her tightly from behind.

“Really?!” she exclaimed, the smile clear in her voice. “As much as I am intrigued by it…I’m still a bit anxious. It’s the place where you…you know, _froze_ and everything, so…”

“I know,” Elsa said softly. “But you don’t have to worry. I want to show you something that I know you will love.”

“Okay,” Anna chirped happily.

The more they galloped towards the glacier, the more it became bigger and bigger, until it stood imperiously before them. The sun was high above them, however, when they set foot on the snowy shore, Anna’s breath still condensed.

“Are you cold?” Elsa asked, a little bit worried.

“Just a little. Nothing I can’t manage, though,” Anna replied. “Come on, come on! Let’s go!” her wide smile was enough reassurance for the older sibling.

Anna took her hand and dragged her towards the entrance of the glacier. The first time Elsa had come here, the place had been eerily quiet, freezing cold, and dark. Now, however, the walls glowed with mystical blue and purple lights, and it seemed that the ice was singing to them, as if luring them to dive deeper. The atmosphere was serene, and Anna gaped like a fish, her teal eyes sparkling just as much as the ice surrounding them. She was taking everything in, while Elsa only had eyes for her.

“Elsa,” she whispered, fingers trailing up until they were brushing against the azure fabric that covered her sister’s left forearm. “This place is _magical_. It’s beautiful,”

“I’m glad you like it,” Elsa smiled warmly at her, even though Anna didn’t see it, for she was too busy staring at what was around them.

“Like it? I _love_ it!”

They walked further, their steps echoing behind them like ghosts. Elsa led the way, feeling anxious the more they neared their destination.

“Ahtohallan holds memory. This place is filled with them. The first time I was here, I was overwhelmed when I saw just how _many_ of them there were,” Elsa said quietly. “There are…memories of us, together and individually. But there are also memories of our parents. Of their youth and of their growth as royal figures. This place really is… _magical_ , as you said.”

When they entered what Elsa had classified as the dome of memories, Anna gasped even more loudly than before. Her hands went up to cover her parted lips, and when Elsa glanced at her, she worried a little; tears were brimming from her vivacious eyes.

The expectable was before them; memories were all around them. Voices mingled together, moments of different times clashed and Elsa stared at Anna, only interested in seeing her reaction.

The younger sibling reached out for her as they came closer to a memory of their parents. Agnarr and Iduna were holding each other in a tight and intimate embrace; their mother’s head snuggled beneath their father’s chin. They seemed to be swaying to a music that was no longer there, a content and loving smile painting both of their faces with happiness. Elsa took Anna’s outstretched hand, grasping it firmly between her own.

“Mother…father…” Anna whimpered.

Then, Iduna’s distant voice echoed before them, her head pulling away from Agnarr’s chest. She met their father’s eyes and smiled warmly up at him. _“I can’t wait for Elsa to meet her little sister.”_

With those words, Elsa and Anna realized that in this particular moment, Iduna had been pregnant. With _Anna_.

_“What makes you think it’s not a boy?”_ Agnarr asked with a teasing smile. His hand reached out to tuck a stray brown lock behind Iduna’s ear. Their mother leaned into his touch and closed her eyes.

_“I just know it will be a girl. I can feel it,”_

Agnarr held her tighter, one of his hands going down to cradle Iduna’s barely-there bump. _“Then, I can’t wait to meet our beautiful girl.”_

Iduna’s smaller hand came down to rest on top of Agnarr’s. _“Me too_ , _”_

The memory seemed to lose intensity, until it vanished completely into thin ice. Anna walked away, watching more moments from the past; she held one trembling hand against her chest, near her heart, and the other kept holding Elsa’s forearm.

When what felt like an infinite amount of time passed, Elsa turned towards her sister and timidly began to ask, “Do you like—,”

But her words were interrupted by the tight embrace that Anna engulfed her in. The younger woman’s arms quickly wrapped around her neck, their bodies colliding against one another as Elsa stumbled a bit backwards from the strength of the hug. Elsa held her waist, one hand traveling along her back before it got lost between Anna’s free copper tresses, her fingers lightly massaging her scalp. She heard a tiny whimper, which almost resembled a suppressed sob, but Elsa knew that seeing all of this, being surrounded by so much of their parents after their terrible death seven years ago, was overwhelming. She herself had been swarmed with intense emotions after discovering her true identity as the Fifth Spirit.

“Thank you,” Anna whispered against her ear, her breath fanning the sensitive skin.

Elsa kissed her temple and cradled the back of her head. She said nothing, for words were not necessary right now. Only love was the answer, and she hugged Anna until her sister was the first to pull away, trembling fingers dabbing at the misty corners of her teal eyes.

“This meant so much to me, Elsa,” she whispered, still holding onto one of her hands. Elsa tucked a few hair behind her ear and then cupped her cheek.

“I felt like you deserved to see this. To see _them_.”

Anna embraced her one more time, and although this hug was less tight than the previous one, it held even more importance to them. Both of them unconsciously buried their noses in their sister’s hair, breathing each other in as if it were the only thing that would keep them grounded to the earth.

“I love you,” Anna mumbled against her shoulder, hands grasping her back and pulling her closer.

Elsa kissed the patch of skin right below her ear. “I love you, too,” she whispered back just as quietly.

They stayed like that for a few moments, before parting and walking in between the living memories. They shared tears, laughter, and longing glances. Once Anna asked to go home — she was actually a bit cold, and also a little bit tired — Elsa led her outside Ahtohallan. The sky was no longer bright, but rather it was starting to grow darker; night would fall soon, it would follow the beautiful dusk.

The Water spirit brought them back to the Northuldra camp, and for the rest of the night, Anna didn’t seem to want to let her go. She continuously lingered by her side, never leaving her alone for too much time, and one of her hands always seemed to be touching Elsa. Whether it was her elbow or her shoulder, Anna’s hand was always in contact with a part of her older sister.

They had dinner with the Northuldra, all of them gathering around a big fire and sharing tales of the past. Anna snuggled beside her sister, placing her hand on her shoulder and intertwining their elbows. She wore her mother’s scarf around her own shoulders, as a way of feeling closer to Iduna and also for protecting herself from the light cold breeze.

Yelena was glad to see them at their camp, and had her people put up a tent for the two sisters. After dinner, Honeymaren was the one to lead them there; the tent, apparently, was a bit far away from the rest, and it was obvious that it had been thought out with the intention of leaving them some privacy. It had been as if Yelena had sensed that today would have been an emotional roller coaster for the two of them. Although — if Elsa had to be honest with herself — she was glad that they could have more privacy during the night. She somehow missed the feeling of Anna’s body against hers, the softness of her lips and the warmth of her skin under her hands.

“Thank you,” Elsa thanked Honeymaren. The Northuldra girl gave them a soft smile before leaving them alone. A fire crackled near the tent; it was obviously meant for Anna, since Elsa didn’t need it anyway.

The stars above them shined brightly, and there was the hint of the Northern Lights in the distance. Some crickets were heard singing, and as Anna met Elsa’s shy gaze, the younger sibling smiled and opened the tent, beckoning her inside.

The interior was small, it had everything they needed for the night; a fluffy and comfortable leather as their bed, and a long cover of rabbit skin that would serve them as their blanket. Anna closed the tent, ducking her head so as to not hit the ceiling, although it was very soft.

They disrobed of their travel clothes, and got under the cover. It was a little bit cold, but Anna could not complain when Elsa’s arms immediately wrapped around her barely concealed freckled skin. They lied on their sides, gazing at each other pensively. Everything around them smelled of woods and of nature and Anna inched a little bit closer to her older sister.

“Today was amazing. Thank you for the incredible gift. It was probably one of the best days of my life,” Anna whispered, her voice barely audible over the song of the night. The forest outside the tent was alive, although subtly, and Elsa briefly listened to it before smiling warmly at her sister.

“I just want to make you happy, Anna,” she confessed just as quietly.

Anna’s smile softened, until her teal eyes glanced down at her lips. She leaned in, canceling a few centimeters that separated their faces, but only when their noses grazed each other, did they realize at the same time just how risky it was. Anna closed her eyes, feeling Elsa’s warm breath fan over her cheeks. Elsa’s hands rubbed along her sides, fingers ghosting over freckled skin.

“I want to kiss you,” Anna admitted quietly, sounding almost desperate. Elsa bumped their noses together, the hint of a smile gracing her features.

“Then, kiss me,” she whispered back just as softly, closing her own eyes as Anna eagerly complied. Their lips parted, Elsa greeting Anna’s gracious tongue in her mouth with her own greedy one. The comfortable silence, that had been only filled by the noises of the outside world — the gentle wind rustling the leaves, the crickets singing, the distant sloshing of a creek — was interrupted by the smacking sound of their lips colliding unrelentingly, joined soon by their shallow breathing. Elsa’s left hand came up to cup Anna’s cheek, her thumb pressing down on her sister’s jaw as her tongue fought for dominance. Anna whimpered quietly, her right leg thrown over Elsa’s beneath the heavy blankets. Their limbs now entangled, Elsa lost her hand in Anna’s gentle tresses, tugging at them softly so as to evoke a reaction out of her. Anna dragged her nails along Elsa’s flimsy chemise, before slipping her fingers beneath in order to touch soft and alabaster skin.

When the kiss became too heated, and Anna began to writhe between her arms, Elsa prematurely broke the kiss and slightly pulled away.

There was a ting of disappointment on her sister’s face, but Elsa soon commanded with a hoarse and deep whisper, “Turn around.”

Anna furrowed her brows, before complying. Elsa lied her right arm beneath Anna’s head, her younger sister’s back now pressed against her front. Spooning wasn’t unfamiliar for them, but what Elsa was about to do _was_. Kissing was risky, but making love was even riskier. Elsa didn’t have the absolute certainty that nobody would walk in at any moment; but knowing that the Northuldra people weren’t nosy nor invading, made the next step a little bit easier.

Her left arm circled Anna’s waist, wrapping around her body and pulling her closer. Her hand traveled north, deft fingers kneading Anna’s modest breasts through the flimsy fabric of her chemise. Anna immediately moaned, the sound quietly echoing in the little space of the tent.

“Shh,” Elsa whispered softly against her ear. The nipple between her thumb and forefinger was stiff as she pinched it lightly. Anna keened lightly, one of her hands reaching out to grab Elsa’s free hand. Her backside pressed against Elsa’s pelvis, and the older woman couldn’t help but grind against her body. She tried to regulate her breathing, and she buried her face in the crook of Anna’s neck, her lips leaving open mouthed kisses along the side of her throat.

“ _Elsa_ ,” Anna whispered, her voice laced with pleasure and anticipation.

Elsa kissed her ear and gently nipped at the earlobe. Anna breathed shakily. “Will you be quiet for me?” she asked softly, her left hand tracing invisible patterns along the taut muscles of Anna’s abdomen.

Anna nodded, unable to give voice to her answer. But that was enough for Elsa, as she slowly but firmly drove her fingers downwards, underneath Anna’s bloomers. Between Anna’s legs she found heat, wetness, and Elsa unconsciously thrust her hips forward, grinding against the younger woman’s backside.

A strangled moan left Anna’s parted lips as Elsa’s fingers found her slick opening, probing a finger inside of her. Anna’s thighs clenched around Elsa’s hand, trapping her there. Her breath was shallow and audible, her body writhing between Elsa’s arms.

Not being in the mood for teasing moments, Elsa set a steady rhythm, soon letting another finger slip inside of Anna. Her sister gasped in pleasure, as she buried her face in the crook of Elsa’s right elbow. She tried to muffle the sounds of her desire, the little moans that occasionally slipped out between her parted lips sounding strangled. Elsa’s own breathing was heavy, as she found Anna’s clit with her thumb. The space beneath the blanket was suddenly too warm, but the heat coming from between Anna’s legs was intoxicating.

The moan that escaped Anna’s mouth was a little bit too loud, but Elsa couldn’t try to keep her silent anymore, for she was too focused and intent on bringing her sister to her well-deserved release.

“Elsa,” Anna panted, her left hand coming down to grasp Elsa’s wrist. It was as if she was anchoring herself, as she began to push her sister’s hand more against where she truly needed it the most. “Don’t stop, _please_ ,” she pleaded. Her hips moved frantically, meeting each one of Elsa’s thrusts.

Elsa kissed her left shoulder, pushing one of her knees in between Anna’s legs in order to press it against her core. Anna whimpered in response, and Elsa could feel her slickness through the material of her own bloomers as Anna began to grind against her thigh.

Soon, Anna came undone as quietly as possible, her body rigid and as taut as a bowstring. She shuddered, whispering Elsa’s name before relaxing completely between her sister’s arms.

Only their heavy breathing was audible, and even though it was nearly impossible, their limbs intertwined even more, their bodies becoming one with each other. Elsa kissed the sensitive spot behind Anna’s ear, and she heard her sister sigh blissfully.

Elsa held her sister’s hand tightly between her own, and before she could fall asleep, she whispered soothingly against Anna’s ear, “Sleep well, my _darling_.”

And then, a deep slumber took over her body, making her fall prey to the world of dreams that were filled with the worst illusions.

_When she opened her eyes, everything around her was white. The floor, the ceiling. Everything. Where was she? Why was everything so blinding, so bright?_

_Elsa breathed heavily, looking down at her own body. Her hands were trembling, pale; it was as if she were a ghost. The edges of her skin were blurry, as if she were made of nothing but invisible air. Her breath condensed, and she could feel her stuttering heart beat irregularly inside her ribcage. She felt its vibrant motions, shaking her to her very core._

_With dread, Elsa tentatively took a step forward, and no sound was heard. Her footsteps were deaf. The world around her seemed dead, as a forest of hazy ivory trees appeared all around her. Then, the sound of clashing swords, of men dying, falling victim to death. She saw Arendellian guards fight against nothing, their attempts at protecting themselves and their world futile. Between all the whiteness of this world, the only color that painted the floor with anguish and defeat was red. Crimson, sticky red blood. It was on the soldiers’ bodies, around their corpses, and on the barks of the white trees._

_Elsa walked around, helplessly. She thrust her hands forward, but no ice was created. Her powers were useless, they had disappeared and had left her alone. She wanted to help her people, as they all succumbed to death, one that was brought by the hands of the evil himself._

_And all at once, she heard His voice. The Mørkets Herre. He snickered loudly, at her expense, and she frantically looked around herself, searching vainly for his face. “You useless queen,” he derided her. “Look at what you’ve built! Look at the failure! It is all yours to soak up!”_

_This time, a flame of anger burned deep within her body, and with all her soul she screamed, “You are a coward! You won’t even show yourself!”_

_Her voice was filled with venom, and while she would usually feel the tingling feeling of her powers grace her fingertips, she felt nothing but tremors. She shook, like a defenseless dear about to face its terrible fate, and stood in the middle of chaos. A sword clung, and an Arendellian soldier died right beside her. When Elsa looked at him in horror, his eyes were empty, his white body disappearing into thin ashes of ice._

_“Speak for yourself, dear Elsa,” the Mørkets Herre snickered, his voice sounding closer than ever. “Without my help, Arendelle will never thrive with you and your_ sister _as Queens! These people deserve a flourishing land, not a kingdom led by two sinning and ridiculous women! By all means, they don’t deserve to live in the shadow of a Queen with magic!”_

_Elsa was about to reply, her mouth opening and ready to yell angry words at the still unknown evil spirit. But then she heard a familiar sweet voice, weeping gently. When she turned around, there, in the midst of dying soldiers and clashing swords, she saw Anna, her face bloody and a white hand covering a bleeding wound on her abdomen. She was staggering backwards, obviously retreating from someone Elsa couldn’t see. Why was everyone fighting the unknown? What was there that she couldn’t see?_

_“Anna!” she exclaimed. But her sister couldn’t hear nor see her as she run towards her. An invisible force pushed her to stand in front of her, and from this perspective, it almost looked as if Anna was scared of_ her _._

_“No, please…” Anna begged helplessly, clutching her own body as she fell on her backside. Still, she languidly retreated, one of her hands stretched outward in order to keep away the offending peril that Elsa couldn’t see._

_“Anna, it’s me. Let me help you, please,” Elsa pleaded. When she reached for her sister’s hand, her own pale fingers passed right through Anna’s hand. Elsa’s eyes widened. Was she a ghost? Was that why nobody could see her? Had she died in the middle of this war? So many questions remained unanswered as the Mørkets Herre spoke again, this time sounding closer than ever._

_“I will put an end to all of this,” his voice boomed. It seemed to be behind Elsa, but she couldn’t seem to be able to turn around, her back blocked by an invisible force that obliged her to stare at her sister’s crawling body. “To this joke of a kingdom. Arendelle will see the light again, for your realm was a shadow to the power of this land.”_

_Elsa struggled to keep her breath even, as every attempt at advancing forward resulted fruitless. Her throat closed with tears when a figure appeared out of nowhere, standing directly in front of her bleeding sister. She heard Anna whimper as she fell on her back, powerless and defeated._

_“Please…” she begged._

_The figure hovering above her had a massive back, making them look imperious. Their shoulders were broad, a heavy cloak hanging from them and obscuring Anna’s legs. But Elsa could still clearly see her face, the upper part of her body, and she saw only fear and helplessness._

_“No,” Elsa whispered as soon as the figure stepped forward and planted their boot on Anna’s chest, making it impossible for her to move. Anna vainly wrapped her tiny hands around their ankle, trying to break free. But to Elsa’s horror, the figure_ — _which she soon realized was a man_ — _raised something above his head. It was a sword. A very sharp sword._

_And right as Elsa understood his intentions, the figure plunged the tip of his blade right into Anna’s chest, right in her heart, half of it disappearing._

_“NO!” Elsa screamed, reaching forward, but her foot remained planted on the ground. She couldn’t move, and the look of pure pain on Anna’s face brought tears to her cerulean eyes. They brimmed until they flowed freely down her cheeks. “No, Anna! NO!”_

_Anna’s cries ceased, blood spilling from her mouth as her hands meekly fell to her sides, her teal eyes losing their spark as life completely slipped past her lips in a last, shuddering breath. Anna lied lifeless on the ground, the figure’s sword firmly nestled in her chest as more blood spilled out from the wound that had killed her sister._

_Elsa kept crying, her hands trembling as she closed them in fists and placed them over her own still beating heart. She closed her eyes and listened to the Mørkets Herre snicker and mock her. But what surprised her the most was that the voice didn’t come from above like it usually did, it came from the figure a few feet away from her, his back still turned towards her._

_“You, wretch!” Elsa cried, anger spilling from her eyes. She whimpered as once again, her gaze fell on her sister’s still face, dead eyes still open and mouth slightly parted. “I will kill you with my own hands!”_

_“Oh, really?”_

_The temperature suddenly dropped as the figure stood on his feet. The atmosphere turned eerie, and Elsa saw her breath condense in the air. The whiteness wasn’t so bright anymore, and the more she looked at the figure’s imposing back, the more the sounds around them ceased, the light diminishing until they were the only thing glowing in the faint darkness._

_Elsa breathed heavily, feeling her heartbeat quicken when the figure_ — _the Mørkets Herre_ — _spoke again._

_“You think you can defy the will of a King?”_

_Elsa gasped, for she had heard this statement before. She was about to ask the evil spirit to show their face to her, to not be a coward and let Elsa know the face of her enemy. But as the figure slowly turned_ — _strawberry blonde hair, mustache and sideburns that were entirely all too familiar_ — _Elsa gasped loudly._

_“Grandfather?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tan tan taaaaan 
> 
> did you see this coming? ;)


	16. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slightly shorter than the previous ones (I kind of consider this chapter a filler?) hopefully this update will answer some of your questions, since we're about to embark in the final part of the story. I don't know how many chapters are left, probably more than four/five?
> 
> Still, leave a comment if you feel up to make a writer very happy :')
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and enjoy!

**ELSA** woke up gasping for air, one shaky hand clutching the side of her chest. Eyes wide and alert, she cast a glance to her right, only to find Anna’s side of the bed empty. Elsa’s breath hitched in her throat and she found the task of breathing extremely complicated. Every inch of her body was quivering with the revelation unconcealed in her dream, her heart thrumming in her ears; its pace only seemed to be increasing. Elsa whimpered as she got to her feet, quickly putting on the clothes of the day before, braiding her hair and then exiting the intricate entrance of the tent. The fabric felt rough beneath her fingertips, and when she was finally bathed in daylight, her cerulean eyes squinted; the lights too bright, the sounds of the village too loud, and the ground beneath her feet too unstable. It felt like it was seconds away from swallowing her whole.

Elsa whimpered, a hand coming up to shelter her face from the sheer vibrancy of the sun, and stepped forward with meek and swaying steps. Whenever she blinked too slowly, the image of her grandfather — smirking, disdain and _derision_ written all over his features — appeared at the forefront of her mind, managing to become brighter and brighter until it blinded her.

Anna. She _needed_ to find Anna.

In her haste to find her younger sister — who was nowhere to be found, and the notion _scared_ her, considering the way things ended in her dream — Elsa stumbled upon something. She opened her eyes until they were only thin slits, and saw the brown color of reindeer fur. She faltered slightly, until a hand came up and softly clutched her forearm. The touch startled her, but no matter how hard she tried to put the person in front of her into focus, it seemed futile.

“Elsa?” the feminine voice was distant. She only heard Runeard’s words inside her brain, echoing in a mocking way.

_“You think you can defy the will of a King?”_

“No,” Elsa whispered, closing her eyes and turning her face away from the woman.

“Elsa? Are you okay? Elsa, can you hear me?”

_“You think you can defy the will of a King?”_

Elsa’s shallow breathing turned the sounds of the outside world into a distorted nightmare, her ears seemingly plugged. The woman’s voice slowly blended with her grandfather’s and she squeezed her eyes, clutching her head in a way that would send the words away; but it _didn’t_.

“Elsa?” the woman called her out again, grabbing both of her shoulders and shaking her gently. But when Elsa slightly opened her eyes, she saw Runeard’s face, evilly snickering with a sinister glare. His words from the dream repeated and moved the man’s lips into their shape.

_“You think you can defy the will of a King, little Elsa?”_

Elsa’s body filled with hot and crimson anger, boiling underneath the surface until a growl scratched the back of her throat and suddenly—

_“Is this all you can do?!”_

—Elsa was throwing herself at the man, seeing red, her hands grasping the sides of his neck and furiously pushing him forward. But the more she squeezed, the more Runeard laughed maliciously, the sound echoing all around them. Elsa pushed and pushed, until her grandfather’s back connected with the bark — of a _tree_?

_“You are nothing! You are a pathetic and useless product of the abhorrent love that grew between your parents!_ _A burden! Yes, that’s what you are. A pitiful, worthless burden!”_

At those words, despite the tears brimming from her bloodshot cerulean eyes, she squeezed the man’s neck harder. Elsa growled, the sound coming from her mouth a mixture between a painful sob and an irate snarl.

“You _monster_ ,” she whispered with deep and rooted hatred. Runeard only snickered, and when a feminine hand came up to touch her shoulder, a feeble grasp at that, trying to push her away, reality and imagination blended together for a brief encounter of fleeting seconds. And then came her grandfather’s words, the cheeks lined by his strawberry blonde sideburns reddening as breathing in air became a difficult task; Elsa’s hands around his neck tightened even more.

_“You should say that to the reflection on your mirror,”_

Elsa’s growl grew even louder. Rage filled her entire body with heat, until the only source of coldness was her right hand, raised above and behind her head, a blast of ice ready to be blasted on Runeard’s evil face—

“Elsa, _stop_!”

—But then came Anna’s sweet, high pitched and frantic voice, filling her ears with warning. And when a hand grasped her right wrist, encased her ice cold hand and drew her away from the illusion made up by her own mind — or rather, by the evil spirit that was the Mørkets Herre — she gasped harshly. When she fell back into reality, she fell hard. Her head throbbed with pain as rage instantly disappeared, replaced by sheer confusion and disorientation. The world around her became clearer, the sounds finally sounded right to her now unclogged ears. Elsa heard her own shallow breathing, and after blinking several times, Runeard’s face completely vanished. She was back to the Northuldra village, and the first thing she saw was — _Honeymaren?._ And then Anna, holding both of her shoulders and making her take a few steps away from the gasping girl, who clutched her own neck and cried softly. Then she caught sight of Yelena, rubbing Honeymaren’s back up and down. Her brother Ryder was beside her, glancing at Elsa wearily. And then she saw the slight crowd around them — there were ten people, at most, surrounding them with weary looks.

And then it dawned on her.

It had been another realistic illusion. She had been _strangling_ and hurting Honeymaren, a friend, a person she cared about, while thinking it was Runeard, an _enemy_ , a person she deeply despised. And she had almost…Elsa couldn’t even think about _that_. What she had been about to do, what she _could_ have done, had Anna not stopped her in the nick of time.

“Elsa, calm down. Take a deep breath,” Anna grasped her hands, standing directly in front of her and blocking everyone else out, creating their own personal bubble where nothing was wrong, and everything was right. “You’re okay. You’re okay.”

Elsa trembled as she fell forward, into Anna’s arms. She heaved, and didn’t dare to close her eyes, for she feared what she could find beneath her shut eyelids. Nevertheless, she placed her forehead against Anna’s shoulder, too afraid to face Honeymaren and the other Northuldra people.

Elsa felt her sister’s breath against the shell of her ear as she wrapped her arms around Elsa’s back, Elsa’s hanging limply by her sides. She didn’t dare to touch anybody. The things she could do…it almost _frightened_ her. How much power her hands held. How much pain and hurt they could inflict to people. “Anna,” she whimpered, the shaking of her body concealed by the strong grip that Anna’s arms had around her.

Her younger sister chastely kissed her temple, caressing her back and shushing her softly.

Seconds later, Elsa retreated from Anna’s embrace, and faced the teary eyed Honeymaren.

Elsa’s voice broke as she began, “I—I’m really sorry. I didn’t _mean_ to, I swear.”

Honeymaren said nothing, only looking down at her feet. With her neck uncovered, Elsa could start to see the imprints of her fingertips, the redness forming where her fingers had once been.

Elsa wanted to flee. She wanted to leave this place and retreat to a place where she could hurt nobody — _but didn’t you try this four years ago?_ , a meek voice asked at the back of her head. _Yes_ , she answered, _but still_. She couldn’t even meet Honeymaren’s gaze as the woman looked back up at her, a mixture of empathy and worry and slight fear etched in her face. Elsa shut her eyes. _You’re a monster. You’re a monster. You’re a monster. You’re a_ —

Anna’s hand on her lower back interrupted that train of thought as she began to quietly explain, “Honeymaren, she didn’t really mean to. I—we’re very sorry. It’s just—,”

“Anna, we need to go. We’re not safe here, we need to go back to Arendelle,” Elsa said quickly, a sudden panic rising in her chest. She quickly remembered her dream, the cause of all of this, and looked pleadingly at her younger sister.

Anna gaped for a moment, not knowing what to say. “Well, uh—,”

“Please. We need to go. _Please_ ,”

“Elsa, but—you had another—another one of your illusions and I don’t think that—,”

“Anna, please, believe me when I say that we have to go.”

“But, Elsa, we should really—,”

“It’s grandfather!” Elsa suddenly burst out. Anna looked at her wide eyed, surprise written all over her face. “It’s him! He’s coming for us, and we need to _go_.”

“What?” Anna whispered breathlessly.

Yelena stepped in, a hand still holding onto Honeymaren’s shoulder. Elsa noticed that the crowd had suddenly dispersed. “Can you _please_ tell us what all this is about?”

Elsa heaved a sigh. When she spared a glance at her sister, Anna was staring at her in shock, their hands no longer interlocked. And she explained.

“I had a weird dream three and a half months ago. It left me with questions, with fears, but I didn’t think much of it in the beginning,” Elsa sighed hopelessly. “But then they increased, and they got more real each time. And each time I dreamed, there was this… _voice_ , that belonged to this evil spirit. He called me things, he mocked our family, our land, _your_ people. It said horrible things about magic…and I just—I thought they were only dreams, despite the bad feelings that I had at the bottom of my stomach. And this spirit, he had never shown its face before. I only heard its voice, as if it were coming from an unknown place. And it kept telling me that it was coming. For me, for our family. For _us_. And I was just—scared because I didn’t know what to do. I felt powerless, because in no way could I control myself in those dreams. The spirit controlled me as if I were its puppet. But then, dreams became reality, after me and Anna discovered its name,” Elsa took a deep breath and glanced at Anna, whose teal eyes shone with hatred and worry. “The Mørkets Herre. The Man of the Dark. And then I had this… _illusion_ , where I was the only one to see things that weren’t real. Everyone around me saw the world as it was, while I saw it the way _he_ wanted me to see it. He made me seem…” her voice wavered slightly. Elsa swallowed past the lump in her throat and continued, “He made me believe I was a monster. A _burden_. And with those illusions, I almost…hurt everybody that was around me. He…spurred this anger in me, with the things he said. And I wanted to just— _shut_ him up. Make him stop. And today…I had a dream last night,”

Elsa turned to Anna, took her hands and bit her bottom lip. “And there was war everywhere. I was unable to use my powers, to help. I was witness to his… _monstrosity_ , and I couldn’t do anything. Not even when—when he killed _you_ , Anna. With his own hands, right in front of me,” Elsa closed her eyes and breathed shakily. “And when I threatened to kill him with my own hands, he finally showed himself to me. And the Mørkets Herre, the evil spirit that has been haunting me — has been haunting _us_ — is our grandfather, Anna.”

“King Runeard?” Ryder asked.

Elsa sadly nodded. “Yes, Runeard.”

Anna stayed silent as she mulled over her sister’s words.

“You said the Mørkets Herre?” Honeymaren spoke quietly, almost tentatively, and Elsa looked up at her apologetically. Her cheeks had tear stains all over them, and Elsa tried to ignore them by focusing solely on her dark eyes. She nodded meekly. “I think that…it makes sense. For you to have illusions, I mean. Yelena, wasn’t there a legend similar to Elsa’s story? It said to have this evil spirit, who liked to play people like his puppets, and he would make their worst nightmares come true. Hence, your illusions.”

_I’m afraid of hurting people_ , a voice reasoned in Elsa’s voice. _I’m afraid of losing Anna_.

“Wasn’t this a Northuldra legend?” Ryder piped up.

“Yes, it is,” Yelena stated quietly, with a pondering frown on her face. “What Honeymaren said about the legend is true. The Mørkets Herre was a terrible man, whose story was bequeathed by generations of Northuldra people. My mother warned me about him, but I thought that it was only a legend…”

A deafening silence settled upon them, while realization dawned on them.

No, it wasn’t only a legend. It was _real_. And it was here, with them, following them wherever they went. “But,” Anna began, sounding frustrated. “Why does it take on our grandfather’s appearance?”

“The Mørkets Herre only wants to inflict pain—,”

“—and Runeard is the only person who can do that to _us_.”

“Yes,” Yelena sighed. “After the truth we discovered last year, it was most likely for him to be our enemy. The Mørkets Herre can only possess dead people, and use them as its pawns. This evil spirit is…closer to the devil than we think. Your grandfather and him possibly could have made an agreement once he discovered what had happened last year. They’re both equally wicked, and Runeard’s hatred for the Northuldra and for magic probably led him to all of this.”

“And how do we stop this?” Anna asked, a desperate edge to her voice. “How do we defeat him? Defeat _them_?”

Yelena cast her eyes downwards. “I’m afraid I don’t have the answers here.”

Anna groaned and put her head in her hands. “This is unbelievable,” she muttered. Elsa looked at her worriedly and hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder, rubbing the soft fabric of her long sleeved shirt. “There has to be something,”

“I’m sure there is,” Yelena said. “But I know nothing more than this.”

Elsa sighed and Anna leaned on her, their sides touching briefly. “We should probably go back to Arendelle and look for more information,” Anna stated with a defeated sigh.

Yelena nodded. “Keep in mind,” she began with a warning, concern twinkling inside her brown eyes. “Elsa, consider the dream of last night like the Mørkets Herre finding a crack within your insecurities. That crack will only get bigger with time, until he will find a way to come to our reality, now that he has revealed himself to you. That dream was a _warning_. And I’m afraid he will declare war. He may find allies, luring them in with the purpose of defeating you. So we must, too. And for all you’ve done for us last year, the Northuldra would be proud to fight alongside you.”

Elsa felt her throat close with tears but she reined in her emotions. She felt her younger sister grasp her hand and she squeezed back. “Thank you, truly,” she said quietly. “We will let you know as soon as possible, and surely we’ll keep you up to date.”

Yelena nodded, and an empathetic look crossed her face. “I know it’s scary. War is destructive, and this will involve more magic than we’ve ever known of. So we need to be ready. Prepare yourselves, and we’ll be there for you. This is not a battle to fight on your own. You are the Fifth Spirit, and I’m sure the other spirits have sensed the turmoil that the Mørkets Herre has caused inside of you. And they will be your allies, too. We _all_ are.”

This time it was Anna who smiled gratefully at them, and with a quivering voice said, “Thank you,”

Her words were grateful, and once teal eyes met cerulean ones, Elsa knew that the battle had just begun, and that her worst fears would be _truly_ tested.

The two sisters went back to Arendelle, the ride back home spent relatively in silence, each one of them mulling over everything that had happened that morning. After having a quiet breakfast with Yelena, Honeymaren and Ryder, they bid their goodbyes (Elsa once again apologized to Honeymaren, having a quiet and heartfelt conversation with her) then they mounted their horses and set off for Arendelle. There was a strange urgency and alertness in their disposition; while Anna usually rode with her back slightly slouched, her whole body relaxed, now she sat astride her horse with her shoulders stiff and back straight. Her throat continuously bobbed, as if she were swallowing an immense lump that served as an obstacle for her. The dainty hands gripping the reins had their knuckles almost white, and Elsa was sure that her nails were digging crescent moons on those soft palms of hers.

Elsa wanted to reach out, smooth the lines of anxiety on her forehead, and tell her that everything would turn out okay. But she couldn’t, because she was _scared_. They both were, and she knew that her sister could sense her dread as well. It was coming off of her in waves, and together they rode a sea made of only their anxiety for the future, their horses being their only boats. Together they kept each other afloat, because Elsa knew that had she been alone, she would be probably freaking out right now. But Anna’s presence was comforting. It meant that the Mørkets Herre hadn’t made her worst fear come true. _Yet_ , a realistic voice said in her head. But Elsa quickly shooed it away. No, she wouldn’t be thinking about that now. She needed to be sober, not drunk on her own fears. It would do them no good.

“I was thinking of contacting Corona,” Elsa stated quietly. It was almost dinnertime, the sun beginning its descent, but a few hours still separated them from their home. The deserted pathway they were treading was painted with all the colors of the sunset. “I remember Mama once telling me that they had one of the best armies. Maybe they could—,”

“You heard Yelena,” Anna’s voice was hoarse. “This will involve more magic. I don’t know if simple soldiers could—,”

“Anna, we need all hands on deck now,” Elsa interrupted her, letting some of her frustration filter through her voice. “And if Corona will agree, then—,”

“Goodness,” Anna breathed, tugging her reins and halting her horse. Elsa furrowed her brows as she watched her sister dismount the animal and then walk away. One hand was touching her own forehead, a sort of sway in her steps. Elsa halted her own horse and got off as well. Anna stopped in front of a tree, placing her shaky hand against its bark and letting her forehead rest against the hard surface. She heard Elsa’s footsteps behind her, but only few words were echoing inside her mind, relentlessly.

_She’s going to die. She’s going to die. She’s going to die. He’s going to take her away from me. She’s going to die. She’s going to_ —

“Anna? Anna, what’s wrong?” Elsa’s voice filled with sudden worry for her sister. Anna was breathing too rapidly and yet, no oxygen managed to get inside her lungs. She felt Elsa’s hand against her shoulder blades and closed her eyes. The wind played with her copper hair and Elsa’s braid. Anna _needed_ to shut her brain up. She needed to silence all those negative thoughts, if she wanted to so badly breathe in the air of peace. And so—

“Anna what’s— _mmph_!”

Anna swiftly turned around, grabbed Elsa’s lapels and pulled her in for a bruising kiss. She crashed their lips together — their noses bumping — and she didn’t care that they were outside and that, since they weren’t _that_ far from the village, anyone could pass by and see them. She cared only about Elsa, and her luscious lips against hers. Anna desperately wrapped her arms around her sister’s neck and stumbled back, pushing herself against the tree and flushing their fronts together. She heard Elsa moan in surprise, her own tongue quickly slipping inside Elsa’s parted mouth. Elsa tried to match the pace of their suddenly heated kiss, finding stability with her hands on either side of Anna’s head. Anna then tried to quell the worry in her stomach by circling Elsa’s waist with her left arm, pressing her hand against her lower back and pushing their pelvises together. She did _everything_ she could to silence her mind, but the words repeated between her ears.

_She’s going to die. She’s going to die. She’s going to die. He’s going to take her away from me and she’s going to leave me again._

And soon, Anna tasted saltiness among the sweetness of Elsa’s lips, who broke apart shortly after that. Her hands cupped her younger sister’s face, who had broken down crying in the middle of the kiss out of the sheer desperation that gripped her heart.

“Hey, hey,” Elsa tried to soothe her with gentle caresses but Anna seemed inconsolable. “It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m _here_ , it’s okay.”

Anna cried like an infant, her face scrunched up in an ugly frown, but the warmth coming from Elsa’s body, the concern making her blue eyes sparkle, made her feel closer to reality. A reality where Elsa was still alive.

“I’m—sorry,” she hiccupped, placing her forehead against Elsa’s collarbone, sinking into her older sister’s arms. Elsa engulfed her in a tight embrace, shushing her with soft and slightly swollen lips against her ear. “I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay,” Elsa whispered. One hand sustained Anna’s head, massaging her scalp, while the other caressed her back slowly. Her older sister smelled like lavender, a scent that will always remind her of their mother, and it somehow made everything worse. Because in moments like this, where it felt like she was standing on a cliff’s edge, she missed their parents the most. And so Anna sobbed in her sister’s arms, wrapping both of her arms around her back and gripping her shoulder blades tightly.

“Elsa,” Anna cried, slightly pulling away from Elsa’s neck and breathing the same air as her sister’s as they stood with their faces only inches apart. “I—I don’t want to _lose_ you,” she sobbed.

Elsa’s own bottom lip trembled as she cupped Anna’s face with one hand. Her thumb caressed her freckled cheekbone, wiping away the hot tears of her sister’s grief. Elsa knew she couldn’t just say, _you won’t lose me_. She couldn’t promise something like that. Because it would only break Anna’s heart in the end, should she ever not stay true to her word. And so, she only whispered, “I know,” and bumped their foreheads together. “I know, love.”

“I feel like I’m going to lose you and I—I just—,” Anna’s words bled into atrocious sobs.

“Hey, _hey_ ,” Elsa took both of her cheeks in her hands and kissed her forehead with trembling lips. She felt a lone tear slide down her pale cheek but she tried to stay strong nevertheless. For her sister. “I know that promising you that you won’t lose me is futile, but what I _can_ promise you, is that I’m going to try my hardest to stay alive. For _you_ and for our people, alright? I will—please, _Anna_ , I can’t see you like this. You’re going to make _me_ cry,”

“I’m sorry,” Anna apologized again, her voice hoarse as she hiccupped. “I’m just—I’m _so_ scared. I don’t want to—to live in a world where you’re not in. It’s horrible, and boring, and lonely, because—you just—you make my life better and I don’t _want_ to live without you.”

Elsa’s face scrunched up as she began to softly cry. She bit her bottom lip to hold back a sound of her own sorrow. “I feel the same way about you, Anna,” she whispered. Her sister’s shallow and hot breath fanned her cheeks as they grazed their foreheads. Anna clung to her back, gripping her shoulders with so much desperation that it broke Elsa’s heart. “And I’m scared, too. But we shall do this. We shall brave this next storm, because it’s the _right_ thing to do. For us to have a future, we need to face this first, and defeat our grandfather. Once and for all.”

Anna nodded, seeming more calm now even though the river of her tears didn’t know any limits, as they kept flowing relentlessly. She pulled her sister in for a tight embrace and buried her face in Elsa’s neck, breathing in her scent and exhaling shakily against her pale skin. “I love you,” she whispered.

Elsa kissed her forehead and cradled her face. “I love you, too, my dearest,”

When Anna finally calmed down enough to resume their ride back, Elsa kissed her tear stained cheeks and then helped her back on her horse. They arrived at the castle around dinnertime, and Elsa left their horses to the stable boy, wanting to make sure that Anna was okay as they ascended the stairs. Their interlocked hands never disjoined, and Elsa intertwined their arms, so as to keep her sister close to her body and make Anna feel that she was _there_.

Kristoff and Olaf greeted them at the Great Hall, and they had just began to eat. They were slightly concerned once they saw Anna’s distraught appearance and her sluggish steps. But Elsa assured them that everything was okay now, that they just had a bad afternoon. They had their dinner quietly, and once Anna finished, she retired for bed early, her shoulders slouched as she exited the room. 

“Is she really okay?” Kristoff asked once Anna was out of sight. Elsa sighed heavily and met his concerned brown eyes. Olaf seemed worried as well, as he sat silently beside his creator.

“Answering yes would be a lie,” Elsa mumbled. “But it’s just—it’s hard for her. Today we…we discovered that the evil spirt—,”

“The…Mørkets Herre?”

“Yes,” Elsa nodded. “He…he takes on people’s appearance, and after a dream I had last night, we found out that our enemy is…our grandfather.”

“What?”

“I didn’t know it could be possible, but apparently, the Mørkets Herre was a legend bequeathed by the people of Northuldra. And they thought that it was only that, but apparently it’s _real_ , and…it’s coming for us. And Yelena warned us that he will probably declare war against us. So it’s all just…overwhelming. Anna already lost me once and she just—can’t bear the thought of losing me again.”

Kristoff stayed silent, playing with the food in his plate as he absorbed everything Elsa had just said. “What are we going to do?” he asked quietly.

“I think…” Elsa paused. “I’m probably going to send out a letter to Corona tomorrow. Ask them to arrange an urgent meeting.”

“Hm,” Kristoff hummed absentmindedly. “Is there…anything I could do to help?”

Elsa smiled faintly at the willingness in his voice. “Just you being here is enough. If Anna doesn’t want to attend these type of meetings because they’re too much, I want you to distract her and keep her occupied with something else.”

Kristoff nodded. “I can do that,” he sipped his glass of water. “What about you though? Are you sure you want to deal with all of this alone?”

Elsa appreciated his concern, but sighed wistfully. “As firstborn, Papa taught me many things. One of them was how be a royal, a leader. I ought to be Queen, and so he passed on all his knowledge to me. And among everything, he taught me how to prepare for war,” Elsa smiled at the thought of her father. “I will be okay, Kristoff. Anna is my little sister, I care for her deeply, and I will _always_ put her needs before my own.”

Elsa stared at her own napkin, playing with its edges and wearing a dreamy smile as she thought of Anna. Kristoff eyed her with a slight gleam in his own eyes, but said nothing. Then he let his lips form the shape of a grateful smile, as he said, “Speaking of Anna, you should go to her.”

Elsa seemed to break out of her daydream as she glanced up at Kristoff. She blushed when she noticed the amused look on her friend’s face. “Well, thank you for tonight. Goodnight, Kristoff.”

“Goodnight, Elsa.”

Elsa ascended the stairs with a pounding heart, not knowing what to expect. The castle hallways were silent, save for some maids tidying up the last of the dust. The queen bid them goodnight, walking slowly towards her sister’s chambers. She stood pensively in front of her room, before knocking on it lightly and entering once she got a soft permission from inside.

The hearth burned with a soft fire, and Anna was supine beneath the warm blankets of her bed. She was awake, but it was from the faraway look in her gaze, that Elsa knew she wasn’t _truly_ here with her mind. She cleared her throat, and Anna seemed to come out of whatever had been trapping that beautiful brain of hers. Anna smiled weakly at her, and before approaching the bed, Elsa washed herself in the bathroom and then changed into a flimsy nightgown. Elsa then got under the sheets and wrapped her arms around her sister. The candle on the bedtable was lit and Anna softly blew on it, casting on their covered bodies only the shadow from the fireplace. The blaze cracked in the comfortable silence and Elsa settled with her head on Anna’s chest, listening to her slow and calm heartbeat. Her sister wrapped her arms around her shoulders and softly dragged her nails across her bare forearms; up and down, up and down. Elsa closed her eyes, enjoying their intertwined legs, the warmth radiating from their cuddled bodies, and Anna’s woodsy scent. She caressed her sister’s hip, tucking her head beneath Anna’s and letting her nose brush against her neck. Elsa let the soft, loose copper hair tickle her cheeks and breathed in deeply. She was about to fall asleep, but then she heard Anna softly sigh, before two fingers cupped her chin and tilted her head upwards.

She languidly opened her eyes, only to see the poorly hidden desire swimming inside Anna’s teal eyes, and then, suddenly, her sister’s lips were against hers. Elsa almost thought that the kiss was to bid her goodnight, but then the hand around her shoulder tightened, and the hand cupping her chin firmly grabbed the side of her face, Anna’s thumb pressing against her jaw and coaxing her into opening her mouth.

Elsa softly moaned into her mouth as Anna greedily slipped her tongue between her lips. In the heat of the moment, Elsa heard the bed creak beneath their weight as Anna prompted her to lie on her back. Anna lied on her side, part of her body on top of her older sister’s. Her left hand caressed Elsa’s face, fingers trailing upwards to her forehead before they brushed aside the soft platinum curls. She toyed with the stray lock that always fell on Elsa’s forehead and bit down on her sister’s bottom lip, tugging it lightly before diving in for another breathtaking kiss. Her right hand drew invisible circles across Elsa’s taut abdomen.

Elsa, on the other hand, taken aback by the sweet assault, had her right arm trapped beneath Anna’s body, and it reached out to softly graze the small of her sister’s back. Her left hand came up to cup Anna’s face, before it trailed downwards and grabbed the back of her neck, her cool fingers massaging her sister’s scalp.

Elsa didn’t know what had spurred this on. She definitely wasn’t complaining, as Anna’s right hand subtly but firmly dragged the hem of her nightgown upwards, only to slip underneath and lightly scratch the insides of her thighs. Elsa’s breath hitched in her throat as Anna touched her through the fabric of her undergarments, and the younger woman hummed in appreciation at what her deft fingers felt.

Their lips detached and the sound reverberated through the relatively quiet bedchamber — save for Elsa’s soft whimpers, for their shallow breathing, the fire cracking in the hearth, and the sound of rustling fabric as Anna began to move her hand underneath Elsa’s nightgown.

A breathless moan scratched the back of Elsa’s throat as Anna teased her entrance with her middle and ring finger. She involuntarily bucked her hips upwards, slightly spreading her legs in order to give her sister more room to work with. She felt Anna’s warm breath fan on her blushing cheeks, as the younger woman propped her weight on her left elbow and looked down at her. Her teal eyes were hooded, their color darker than before, and her stare was so intense that Elsa couldn’t help but close her eyes. She arched her neck just as Anna slipped inside of her, the heel of her palm finding her clit.

“Anna,” she whimpered, biting her bottom, her right hand gripping Anna’s shoulder tightly. Anna set a steady rhythm, one of her own legs hooking around Elsa’s calf in order to gain more access. Elsa tilted her head upwards, feeling Anna’s hot lips leave open mouthed kisses along the column of her pale throat.

Making love to Anna was passionate, most times more intense than she could handle, but as Elsa gazed upwards at the ceiling, tiny whimpers of pleasure involuntarily escaping from her slightly parted lips, she had a feeling that something was off with her sister. Anna was breathing heavily against her sensitive skin, her left hand tangled in Elsa’s platinum locks as her right one hastened its pace between Elsa’s legs. Her actions felt almost desperate, as if this kind of connection with Elsa was more of a reminder that her older sister was here. Anna’s hips bucked against the side of her body and Elsa gripped her waist, as she tenderly pushed another finger in.

Elsa tried to be as quiet as possible, trying to focus more on the impending high rather than worrying about something that might not even be at the forefront of Anna’s mind at the moment.

Then Anna was kissing her, swollen lips colliding with hers as she finally crossed the edge, her sister’s name whimpered a moment later. Elsa gripped both of Anna’s shoulders as her sister gave her soft kisses; on her lips, on her cheeks, on her forehead, and even on her closed eyelids.

The gentleness of her touch subsided her worries, and once Anna removed her hand from between her legs, she opened her eyes and met her loving gaze. They shared another tender kiss, before Anna sighed happily and then buried her face in Elsa’s neck, effectively trapping the older sibling under her weight. Elsa giggled quietly, wrapping her own arms around her body and rubbing her cheek against soft copper hair. Anna’s breath tickled her pulse point, but she couldn’t complain; not when her sister was lying so comfortably between her arms.

They tangled their legs, bodies warmer under the sheets of Anna’s large bed. Elsa closed her eyes in bliss, the corner of her lips tilting upwards when she felt Anna’s hands rest against her sides. Elsa thought that there existed no better solace than this moment, lying in bed with the person she loved the most in the world.


	17. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is extremely late!! But we're moving forward with the plot, and we're about to reach the final part of the story, so get ready!! :)
> 
> As always, thank you all for your comments and love, you don't know how happy they make me.
> 
> Enjoy!

**WAITING** for her guests to arrive, Elsa stood quietly before the large floor to ceiling windows of the library. The end of the first week of July quickly approached and arrangements had been made, between Arendelle and Corona. The King and Queen of the latter kingdom had decided that, for this first meeting, they would send their daughter, Princess Rapunzel, none other than Elsa and Anna’s cousin, and her husband, Prince Flynn Rider — or rather, Eugene Fitzherbert.

While Elsa was organizing her soldiers for an unprecedented war that could come at any moment — it could also not come _at all_ — Anna had been stubbornly ignoring the issue, training every day whenever she wasn’t preoccupied with queenly duties, which, considering everything, almost all of them had been dumped on her sister. But Elsa didn’t mind. As long as Anna was happy, she would do anything for her. Even if it meant staying up late and meeting with General Mattias almost daily. Even if it meant that the little moments they managed to be in each other’s presence, they spent their time sleeping or in relatively silence. At least, on the brighter side, most nights, Elsa got to spend them with her arms wrapped lovingly around her sister, who seemed nothing but little and naïve when unconscious.

Elsa thought about the night before, when she had discovered a bruise right below Anna’s hip. The younger sibling had quickly dismissed her worries by distracting her with gentle kisses, and Elsa had let it go until, in the heat of the moment, she had placed her hand right over the darkening wound and Anna had visibly flinched back. Still, she had tried to quell the worry inside Elsa’s blue eyes, attempting to kiss her again, but Elsa had refused, too afraid to hurt her. Anna had somehow taken it personally, and the night had ended on a bitter tone, with the younger sibling turning her back on the older one. It was the first time they had slept together on the same bed, with so much distance between them. Elsa had immediately regretted her words, when she had seen the hurt in Anna’s teal eyes. But the die had been cast, and once she had realized her mistake, Anna had already rolled over, her tense back the only thing she could see of her sister.

That morning, Elsa had woken up to an empty bed, and when she had asked Gerda whether or not she knew where Anna was, the maid had reluctantly told her that her sister had raised early so as to train with Oskar, her sword fighting teacher. Elsa had frowned, but had thanked Gerda nevertheless.

Now, Elsa sighed; she had yet to see her sister. Breakfast had been lonely, so she at least hoped Anna would join her and their guests for lunch. Although, for her sister’s eager willingness to avoid reality, Elsa didn’t count much on it.

A slight anxiousness filled her stomach, when she caught sight of the carriage — with the Princess and Prince of Corona — crossing the bridge and halting in front of the gates of the castle, which opened shortly after. Elsa then took a deep breath, discarded every worried thought she had of her sister and went downstairs. She passed by a mirror, and fleetingly, she checked her appearance; her braid, slung over one shoulder, was perfectly in place, and her azure dress had no wrinkles. Yet, despite the visual comfort that physically, she looked regal and composed, inside, she felt like all the chaos had been set free.

“Your Majesty?”

As Kai approached her, Elsa caught sight of Eugene and Rapunzel behind him.

“The Princess and Prince of Corona,” he stepped to the side and introduced the two royal figures.

“Oh, cousin! It’s been so long,” Rapunzel said, overjoyed, stepping forward and opening her arms. Elsa shyly accepted her hug, blushing slightly when she met Eugene’s lopsided smile over the princess’ shoulders. When they parted, the smaller woman looked up at her and asked, “How have you been?”

“Eh,” she sighed. “I’ve been better,” she replied with a mild shrug.

Then Elsa shook hands with Eugene; she wasn’t that familiar with the man. “Eugene, it’s so nice to see you again.”

Eugene smiled. “Arendelle is beautiful,” he smiled cordially. “But…I remember you have a sister,” he stated playfully. “Where is she?”

“Yes, where’s Anna? I thought she would be waiting for us, too,” Rapunzel added with slight concern.

Elsa tried to mask the underlying sadness she still felt from their bittersweet morning. “The maids have told me that she’s been training all morning. I…” she hesitated, not meeting their eyes. “I haven’t seen her yet today,”

“Oh,” Rapunzel sighed softly.

“That’s a shame.” Eugene frowned slightly.

“Will she be joining us for lunch?”

Elsa opened her mouth just to close it again. She swallowed. She wanted to say that she had no idea, because Anna was probably annoyed with her, and she didn’t know if she would feel up to face her so soon, after the previous night. Elsa still felt terribly bad, and she yearned to apologize to her sister. “I think so,” she lied.

“Fantastic!” Rapunzel went back to being the cheerful woman she had been moments before. Her sunshine appearance almost reminded Elsa of Anna. “Should we get straight to business, then?”

Elsa nodded, although she felt nervous. “Of course,” she replied. “Follow me,”

As the queen led them towards the council room, Rapunzel spoke. “I wanted to apologize to Anna, for not being there for her coronation.”

_Me too_ , Elsa wanted to say. “It’s alright,” she smiled tightly.

“Also…” Rapunzel hesitated. “I heard of what happened last year, after you…—after your _sister_ returned from the Enchanted Forest. That must have been terrible for her.”

Elsa grimaced at the reminder of her momentary death and disappearance from her sister’s life. “It was,” she replied, swallowing whatever emotion threated to spill. “But we’re happier now. _She_ is happier. Although…there’s a reason why we’ve summoned you here, and that has been weighing heavily on our shoulders.”

“Yes,” Rapunzel nodded. “I discussed your letter with my parents. Although, I need you to tell me the whole story,”

“Of course,” Elsa replied with a quick bob of her head. “I will tell you everything.”

Once in the Council Chambers, Elsa sat at the head of the table. Rapunzel and Eugene sat on either side of her and waited patiently for her to begin. And so, Elsa recounted everything that had happened. From that first dream in the cavern, on that windy, stormy night — well…she _did_ spare them some of the details of that night — to the latest one, on the night of Anna’s birthday. She told them of the Mørkets Herre, of what she knew about this evil spirit, and about all the horrible things King Runeard had done. The two royals sat quietly, their faces turning into those of concern and anxiousness the more Elsa progressed in her story.

When the queen finished, she was slightly winded and her heart was pounding in her chest. Just the thought of what the evil spirit _could_ do to them sent chills down her spine.

“Wow,” Eugene sighed. “This guy is a jerk, honestly,”

“Eugene!”

“I’m just telling the truth!”

His statement got a quiet and humorless laugh out of Elsa. “I can’t disagree with you on that,” she said quietly. Then, she turned towards Rapunzel. “You’ve been in contact with magic for all your life, so that’s why I trust telling you all this information. But…I’ve never been this scared in my whole life. And I need your help, cousin. I don’t—think that I can do this on my own. I don’t even know if my magic will be enough.”

“But you’re the Fifth Spirit,” Rapunzel stated, slightly desperate. “Your magic has improved. How can you be so doubtful about them?”

Elsa stared at her for a moment. And a voice in her head said, _because they can protect_ me, _and I don’t know if I’ll be able to protect_ Anna, _that’s the problem_. Instead, she replied, “I don’t know how powerful this evil spirit is. I mean, he can make up _illusions_. He could literally drive me to kill—,” Elsa didn’t finish her sentence as she bit her bottom lip so as to halt her train of thoughts. “Either way, he’s just as powerful as me, if not more. This is why I need your help, Rapunzel. My parents…they told me that Corona has the best army. I was hoping to count on _you_ and your soldiers.”

“But…”

“If I may add my opinion,” Eugene interrupted his wife. “Isn’t that…wouldn’t that be a waste of men? We _know_ this evil spirit is powerful, he is beyond human beings. Sending plentiful of armies towards him would be the same as sentencing them to death.”

Elsa sighed quietly. Of _course_ she knew that. “I know,” she replied in defeat. “But what do we do then? We let him… _destroy_ Arendelle? So that he could then go on and take over the world? Isn’t that worse?”

A grave silence fell over them. Elsa ducked her head. “I’m asking you to be my ally. To help me in this battle, which could be the most difficult and most important battle I will ever face. But I’m not here to push you into something you don’t want to get involved into. You’re not… _forced_ to help me.”

Rapunzel sat quietly and glanced briefly at her husband. “Elsa,” she leaned forward and hesitantly grabbed her hand. “I know we don’t know each other well, but…you’re my cousin. You and Anna are _family_. And we haven’t spent much time together, but I would never leave my family behind. So…” she lowered her eyes, then, after taking a deep breath, she looked up again, meeting Elsa’s anxious blue eyes. “…of course we will help you. I will speak with my parents about this because the decision is theirs but…I will personally make sure that Corona will be with you _every_ step of the way.”

Elsa felt something tug inside of her, and she averted her gaze as soon as she felt the familiar sting of tears behind her eyelids. “Thank you,” she squeezed Rapunzel’s hand. “Thank you,” she repeated, now meeting their warm gazes and then grabbing Eugene’s hand, as well.

They spoke more about future arrangements between their kingdoms, and Rapunzel stated that Corona would also help Arendelle find as many allies as they needed for this war. Elsa was overjoyed to hear this, feeling warmth spread inside her chest. She felt less lonely, like she could really come out of this successful.

They shared a mirthful lunch together, and Elsa was hopeful to see her sister. However, her hopes diminished each time that someone that was not Anna walked through the door.

As Elsa cleaned her lips with her napkin, she beckoned Gerda to come closer.

“Have you seen Anna?” she asked in a whisper. She glanced at her two guests, and saw that Rapunzel was too busy laughing at something stupid Eugene had said.

A look of concern flashed across the maid’s face. “Your Majesty…”

“What is it?” Elsa’s voice rose slightly.

Gerda didn’t meet her eyes and fiddled with her fingers. “I’m afraid that your sister has injured herself. A few minutes ago, I saw her—,”

“What?” Elsa got to her feet. The sound of the chair’s legs scraping against the floor caught Rapunzel’s attention, who immediately shushed her husband. “Where is she now?”

“Is it Anna?” the princess asked.

Elsa ignored her question as she repeated, with a more panicked voice, “Gerda, where _is_ she?”

“I—I think she’s going to the stables—,”

“The stables?!” Elsa asked in disbelief. She furrowed her brows. Why would her sister go there? She should see the doctor, not go for a ride. Elsa momentarily closed her eyes and clenched her fists. “I need to see her,” she mumbled to herself.

“Elsa?”

The Queen turned towards her guests. “I’m sorry, but I need to go right now.”

Elsa ignored Rapunzel’s voice, as it called her and asked if Anna were okay. As soon as she was out the dining chambers, a sudden anger flared up inside of her, making her clench her jaw tightly. Elsa admitted it to herself; she was _mad_ , unusually so, but how could she not be, when Anna kept on being so reckless? Her sister had pushed herself to the limit, overworking herself with those sword fighting lesson — because Elsa _knew_ this was about Anna’s insistence at being a good, _great_ swordswoman. But Elsa also knew, as she caught a glimpse of her sister limping her way down the hallway, that her frustration, her _anger_ , was only a thin layer that concealed a deeper, hidden fear of losing Anna.

Elsa sighed shakily, quickly catching up to the other woman. Anna was in her riding attire, but Elsa could clearly see the dirt on the side of her legs, the green stains of the grass against the white fabric that covered her back. And when Anna turned sideways, clearly hearing the echoing sounds of Elsa’s footsteps, she could clearly _see_ the gash — no longer bleeding — on her shoulder, the crimson color of her blood a striking contrast to the copper of her slightly disheveled free hair.

“Anna—,” Elsa paled, stopping a few feet away from her sister. Now that she was closer, she saw every spot that the blood had stained Anna with. “What happened?” she asked breathlessly.

Anna halted and completely faced her sister. She hesitated, and there was a hint of awkwardness lingering from their bittersweet morning. Elsa still needed to apologize for that.

“It—it’s nothing, Elsa. It’s just a little cut,” Anna dismissed her with a forced smile. It was evident from her flinching and grimaces that it wasn’t _just a little cut_ , as Anna had put it. It clearly hurt, and it annoyed Elsa that her sister was belittling something like this.

“A little cut?” Elsa asked, her voice coming out harsher than intended. Her brain short-circuited and instead of thinking rationally — talk calmly with her sister — she lashed out and threw all her irrational anger towards her. “ _That_ is not a little cut. You are bleeding! What were you thinking?”

“Elsa—,” Anna sighed, looking at the other woman with bewilderment and confusion. “Listen, it’s nothing, okay? Nothing to worry about!”

“It is _not_ nothing, Anna! How did you even injure yourself? Was it a sword?”

Anna scoffed. “And what if it was, uh?” her words sounded malicious, and as Elsa tried to step forward, tried to get a better look at her wound, Anna retracted. Elsa’s heart stung more than she could express into words. “I—I just fell from the horse and—the sword slipped out of my hand, okay? It was an _accident_.”

Elsa pursed her lips and let out a deep breath. Anna met her intense stare steadily, as if challenging her. “How many more accidents do you need to understand that sword fighting is dangerous?” Elsa asked, the venom in her voice hiding the fear behind her words. “How many injures do you want on your body? We have soldiers and knights, Anna, and you have _me,_ so you don’t need to—,”

“ _Yes_ , I do! I need to learn how to protect myself, okay?!”

“No, you don’t!” Elsa exclaimed, now losing her cool. The temperature in the hallway dropped slightly, but the change was almost imperceptible. “I won’t allow you to continue practicing _such_ a perilous activity—,” at these words, Anna scoffed and walked away, stepping into the library as Elsa followed her and kept reprimanding her, “—to continue being so stupidly reckless! You should be more careful and not get yourself into trouble!”

Anna suddenly turned around, Elsa almost bumping into her. She dared not to touch her sister, lest she rejected her again.

Anna’s teal eyes burned with anger and frustration, her whole body seething. “You don’t tell me what to do,” she muttered lowly.

Anna swiftly turned around, grabbing a book from the nearby table and kept her back towards Elsa. “Anna, you’re being unreasonable right now. You—,”

“You _can’t_ tell me what to do!” Anna exclaimed, slamming her fist against the table. The sharp sound made Elsa flinch. Then, she turned around and with flames in her eyes said, “You are _not_ my mother!”

Elsa clenched her fists in frustration. “I’m still your bigger sister, Anna! And you should know that I care about you, and that I don’t want you getting hurt! So _please_ , please, believe me when I say that you shouldn’t keep on—,”

“But I can’t!” Anna exclaimed. The next time she opened her mouth to speak, anger seemed to deflate as a tinge of fear and exasperation seeped into her words. “I can’t stop! I _need_ to learn how to defend myself because—if God forbid I lose you again, no one will save me but _myself!_ ”

Anna’s confession shattered Elsa’s heart. Her lips parted and her features softened slightly as realization stained her all over her face. _I should have known this was the reason why she’s so persistent in sword fighting_. Elsa felt shame crawl deep into her heart, but she also felt sympathy for the person she loved the most. Now, she bowed her head and embarrassment covered her face with a blush. _I should have known._

“I feel so _useless_ sometimes,” Anna sniffled, her head ducked and her lips slightly trembling. She looked so small and innocent right now, with her shoulders hunched and her face etched with fear and weariness. Elsa glanced up at her and bit her bottom lip. “And I don’t feel that way only when I have a sword in my hand. I just can’t— can’t stand by the side and do _nothing_ but watch. Learning how to use a sword makes me feel like I have a _purpose_ in all of this,” Anna finally met her stare but there was pain in those teal eyes, and Elsa knew that it was there because of her. She knew that her words had wounded Anna far more than the sword had.

And then, Anna smiled meekly, but it was devoid of happiness. It was forced, and saddened. And slowly, quietly, she whispered, “So I’m glad to know that you think that I’m basically _wasting_ my time,”

“W—what—Anna, _no_ , wait…!”

But Anna had quickly walked away, slamming the library door shut behind her. Closing the door in Elsa’s face and, as a consequence, closing the doors to her heart.

Elsa didn’t realize she was crying until a tear made of ice fell on the doorknob. She felt powerless — _remorseful_ — hopeless and completely desperate to reach Anna and tell her how sorry she was.

And the thought that this was probably how Anna had felt all those thirteen years, spent alone against a sealed door — made her cry harder.

———————————————

“You’re sulking.”

“I am not.”

“You _are_.”

“Kristoff—stop it. I’m _not_ sulking,”

And yet, Anna crossed her arms over her chest and let the deep frown stay on her pouting lips. Kristoff stared at her suspiciously, before shrugging and nonchalantly say, “Fine,”

An uncomfortable silence settled between them. The sound of Sven’s hooves hitting the ground filled the air, and Kristoff whistled lightly as he loosely held onto the reins of the sled. After covering her injured arm with a bandage — doing so angrily, while being stared at the few nurses of the infirmary — Anna had fled to the stables, finding Kristoff and literally _demanding_ to go for a ride with Sven. A few hours ago, they had stopped at a clearing, her friend resting under the shadow of a tree, while Anna stayed alone with her thoughts.

The last couple of days had been filled with nothing but tension between her and Elsa. Her sister was always so busy. Between organizing the army with General Mattias and finding the support of allies, she had little time for her. And Anna, still unable to face the harsh and cold reality that a war was indeed coming, an unprecedented one at that, had done nothing but shut everything out and pour her emotions into sword fighting. She knew she had acted like a coward. She wasn’t proud of how she had been acting. And she knew that Elsa had tried to stay out of her way, taking control of everything and literally carrying the burden of queenly duties alone. She knew that Elsa doing everything without having to involve Anna meant that she wanted her sister to not think about the situation. She had done all of this — working until the daylight, writing letters to other countries, asking for help — to protect Anna from reality as much as she could.

And Anna felt guilty. Because the only thing she had done was hide. Turn her back to her sister and block her ears from the deafening sounds of her fears. And she knew that sooner rather than later, she had to be brave and face them, no matter how ugly they looked, no matter how loud and incessant they were.

And so Anna sighed. “I had a fight with Elsa,” she murmured quietly. Kristoff said nothing, but acknowledged her with a light hum. The afternoon sun shone upon them and Anna felt her wound sting. She cleared her throat and thought about her dispute with her sister. They had had disagreements in the past, but not one had been like the one they had today. When Anna had slammed the door in her sister’s face, she had immediately regretted her dramatic exit. She should have been more rational, not emotional. She shouldn’t have let anger blind her and let her be cruel to Elsa, who deserved nothing but her love and respect. And she had felt even more bad, when she had heard her sister’s soft cries behind the closed doors, her soft voice whispering apologizes that weren’t meant to be heard. Anna had teared up and had run away, unable to hear more of Elsa’s pain, which _she_ had caused.

Kristoff looked at her and raised his eyebrows. “You had a fight…about what?”

Anna groaned and rubbed her cheek. “We—she just thinks it’s stupid that I’m so keen on learning how to use a sword. She saw my injury and got all protective over me. And basically said that she doesn’t need me to be a knight or something,” she explained. “I was just—I’m so desperate to learn how to protect myself, in case she—,”

Anna paused, but Kristoff understood what she meant anyway. “I know,” he stated softly. “I know,” he gazed lovingly at her, one of his hands lightly grabbing one of hers.

Anna sighed shakily and swallowed past the guilt inside her throat. “We said things and…we hurt each other. In the heat of the moment, we just exploded. And I know this situation has been weighing heavily on her, too. She won’t admit it for my own sake, but I can see that. She’s selfless and Elsa just…” Anna bit her lip. “She just wants me to be _happy_.”

Kristoff smiled slightly. He remembered Elsa’s words and his smile got wider, genuinely delighted that the two sisters had each other at last, no matter the hardships, the trials and tribulations they had gone through. They had each _other_.

“I know that she cares about me and she wants me to be safe, but sometimes she can be so… _frustrating._ It still hurts me to think about what she said earlier, but…now I understand why she feels that way.”

Kristoff hummed. “She just wants you to be safe.”

“She just wants me to be safe,” Anna agreed. “But I just…I want Elsa to trust me. I want her to see how much this means to me, because…no matter what will happen in the future, sword fighting is the only thing that gives me some kind of comfort,” Anna shuddered slightly. “Losing her again would be… _devastating._ And _this_ , it prepares me to that option. If she won’t be there to protect me, then…I must learn _now_ how to protect myself.”

Kristoff stared at her for a long moment, while Anna gazed at the path in front of them. “Why don’t you just talk to her?”

“I tried, but—,”

“That fight doesn’t count,” Kristoff interrupted her seriously. “I think you should just…sit down together and face your fears. _Both_ of your fears. Losing her scares you, and for you spending your time on swords gives you comfort. Tell her how you feel, _calmly_ this time, and I’m sure she will understand,” Kristoff looked beyond them, the warm July breeze paying them a visit as he stated quietly, absentmindedly, “She _loves_ you, Anna.”

Anna looked at him as a blush formed on her cheeks. Hearing him say this made her remember the fact that nobody knew of the real and true nature of her and Elsa’s relationship. But seeing the content look on his face, his genuine happiness for her, almost invigorated her in vomiting the truth out. She held back, though, and limited herself to placing her head on his shoulder, grabbing his forearm and squeezing him lightly.

“Thank you, Kris,” she whispered, truly glad to still have him in her life despite everything.

Kristoff kissed the top of her head and she sighed happily. She felt better now, and she promised herself that as soon as they returned back to the castle, she would first treat her wound, and then talk to her sister.

—————————————

A nurse warned her of her sister’s arrival at the infirmary a few hours later. She had asked her to medically treat Anna’s wound, but then had told her that she would personally take care of bandaging her shoulder and arm. As Elsa stood at the threshold of the empty infirmary, she stared longingly at Anna’s barely covered back, her sister sitting atop the examination table with her head hanging low. As per her request, a few gauzes had been left on a nearby table, and as the nurse walked up to her, Elsa thanked her and asked her to leave the rather small chamber, in order to give them some privacy.

At the sound of the door closing, Anna turned her head sideways, and her teal eyes widened in surprise when she caught sight of her sister instead of a nurse.

Elsa offered her a faint and tentative smile and walked slowly towards her. She wore one of her azure dress, her hands tugging at the light blue jacket that covered her shoulders, and stopped right in front of her sister. Anna looked up at her with uncertainty, both of them silent for some time before the younger of the two broke the ice.

“Are you here to lecture me again?” she asked, but there was no malice in her words. Elsa caught the teasing lilt of her voice and ducked her head with an embarrassed and guilty smile.

“No, I’m not,” she replied softly. And when she looked up, Anna was smiling slightly at her, maybe a little bit apologetically.

Then, Elsa sighed quietly, before picking up the bandages and beginning to wrap them around her sister’s arm. When the sterile fabric touched her sensitive and reddened skin, Anna grimaced and muttered, “Ouch, that hurts,”

When Elsa saw the childish pout on her face, she couldn’t help but laugh; a bit of the tension lessening. “I’m sorry, you big baby,” she apologized with a mocking and playful voice. Anna rolled her eyes but smiled nevertheless, gazing up at her with a gentle and loving look. Elsa was reminded of when Anna had hurt herself, all those years ago, when riding her bike down the hallways of the castle. She smiled softly at the memory.

But then the smile diminished when she thought about why she was here.

“Are you still mad at me?” Elsa asked quietly, not meeting her sister’s gaze.

Anna stayed silent for a moment, perhaps to gather her thoughts, and then spoke softly, almost as if she were too afraid to interrupt the comfortable silence that had settled between them. “I’m—I’m not mad, I’m just…” she sighed, sounding almost frustrated with herself. “We’re both stressed out because of the situation we are in and…thinking too much about it makes me feel like we have so _little_ time…and I just—can’t breathe sometimes,”

Elsa slowed down her ministrations in order to properly look at Anna, who seemed nothing but saddened and in discomfort. The memory of her usually so jovial and lively sister seemed so far away, even though nearly one year had passed since she had last seen Anna so carefree, with no problems weighing heavily upon her shoulders. Now, she just looked defeated most of the times, and it made the corners of her lips turn downwards.

“Shouldn’t we spend together as much time as possible, then?” she asked even though she was half joking and half being serious.

Anna smiled slightly and shook her head, turning away from Elsa’s slightly teasing blue stare. “Ugh,” she groaned. “You know I’m stupid,”

Elsa chuckled. Her fingers caressed Anna’s freckled shoulders and before she could hold herself back, she leaned down and pecked the side of her forearm. “No, you’re not. You’re just scared,” she smiled timidly once her sister looked back at her. And then whispered, “I am too,”

Just as Elsa was about to finish tying the bandage around Anna’s injury, her sister’s hand came up to faintly hold her own. Their eyes locked and the younger woman seemed genuinely sorry.

“I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have snapped at you earlier,”

Elsa ducked her head and shrugged. “It’s okay. You’re under so much pressure right now,”

“Aren’t you as well?” Anna immediately returned.

Elsa couldn’t meet her intense gaze as she shrugged once again. She busied herself with the finishing touches of the gauze, and then, once she was content enough with her work, she let her hands trail down Anna’s slightly taut arm and slipped her fingers between her sister’s.

“Still, I’m sorry,” Anna continued. “I’m just…so scared of losing you again, Elsa. And you must understand that learning how to use a sword makes the pain a little bit easier to deal with. I’m sorry it worries you so much, but I can’t stop now. I _don’t_ want to stop.”

“Okay,” Elsa nodded meekly. “I understand. And I just…want you to be _happy_ , Anna. And if sword fighting makes you happy, then I will be okay with that. Just…try to be more careful next time.”

Anna visibly relaxed, letting out a content sigh of relief. “I will,” she squeezed Elsa’s fingers and then tightened her grip, tugging her forward until they were close enough to melt into a loving and reassuring embrace.

Elsa sighed shakily and rubbed her chin against Anna’s uninjured shoulder. “I’m scared of losing you, too.”

“I know,” her sister’s whisper spread warmth on the side of her neck and Elsa closed her eyes tightly. Anna’s hands slid up and down her back, a relaxed sigh echoing in the back of her throat.

When they pulled away, Anna held her forearms and looked up at her with a soft smile; Elsa’s heart couldn’t help but skip a beat when Elsa caught sight of the adoring way her sister was looking at her. Anna held the _stars_ in her sparkling teal eyes and shone them upon Elsa’s night, brightening the corners of her mind which had been darkened by incessant worries and concerns.

“Are you feeling a little bit better?” Elsa asked, her right hand coming up to brush a single lock of copper hair behind Anna’s ear. Her sister leaned into her touch and blinked slowly.

“Yes,” she said quietly. “Thank you,”

Elsa smiled and leaned in to kiss her forehead. She lingered, feeling Anna’s arms wrap around her neck and pull her closer. When she met her sister’s gaze, she blushed. And the color on her cheeks only reddened when Anna whispered, “I really want to kiss you right now.”

Elsa smirked, shuffling closer until she stood between Anna’s dangling legs. She placed her hands on either side of her sister’s legs, and although her heart was jumping inside her ribcage, the desire to be closer to Anna prevailed over the fear of getting caught.

When their faces were mere inches apart, Elsa saw her sister close her eyes and part her lips in sheer anticipation. But Elsa only let her warm breath ghost over Anna’s mouth, whispering, “Not here,” before pulling away completely.

When the younger woman opened her eyes, although she looked a bit dazed and lost, Elsa could still spot traces of disappointment. Anna shook her head slowly, teal eyes sparkling with something akin to mirth, amusement and love. “You stinker,” she whispered.

But Elsa was already walking towards the door. “I have things to do now. See you at dinner, darling! Love you!”

And as Anna rolled her eyes, a playful smile tugging her lips upwards, she still heard Elsa’s lively giggle until the door shut behind her sister’s back.

————————————————

Dinner went splendidly, Anna’s lively and hilarious personality matching perfectly with Eugene’s dry sense of humor. Constantly, extravagant laughs echoed inside the dining hall, and Elsa was sure that their mirth could be heard from the hallways nearby. Rapunzel had been overjoyed to finally see her other cousin, and the two had spent quite some time chatting and catching up with everything. Elsa had spoken with Eugene, and she had been curious enough to ask about their relationship and marriage. “She’s simply wonderful,” the man had answered with thousands of emotions swirling inside his eyes. He had looked over at the other pair, and he had stared at his wife until Rapunzel turned around and waved shyly at him. Elsa, unable to contain herself, had taken advantage of the moment to send a little smile her sister’s way.

After supper, they decided to enjoy the summer night by taking a walk by the docks. Rapunzel and Eugene held hands, and Elsa desperately wished she could hold her sister’s without raising any suspicions. The two Corona royals had never seen them together before, therefore they weren’t aware just how affectionate they were with each other, even before they confessed their feelings for each other.

Rapunzel caught sight of fireflies and couldn’t help but race after them like a little kid, and the sisters shared a quiet laugh, while Eugene lovingly shook his head at his adorable wife.

The couple distanced themselves from them and Anna glanced at Elsa, who was wistfully watching Rapunzel get swept off her feet by Eugene.

“Hey,” Anna reached out and intertwined the pinkie of her right hand with Elsa’s. “You okay?”

The older woman seemed to snap out of whatever had trapped her mind and smiled at Anna. “I’m fine,”

Anna quickly kissed her cheek, unable to stop herself. In the darkness, she was brave enough to fully grab Elsa’s hand, sensing some kind of melancholy from her sister. She pulled her closer and their sides touched just as the salt breeze coming from the fjord nuzzled against their noses. Elsa’s cerulean eyes sparkled under the moonlight as she widened them in slight surprise, but still, she accepted the warmth from her sister’s hand and squeezed it wholeheartedly and gratefully.

Only thirty minutes later they returned back to the castle. Rapunzel and Eugene retired to their rooms, thanking the sisters for the great day. Anna apologized she hadn’t been fully present, but the couple quickly and playfully dismissed her with a wave of their hand. Rapunzel said that they still had two other days where they could catch up and have fun together.

Then, Anna dragged Elsa up the stairs, towards her bedroom. And as soon as the door was closed, Anna pressed her sister against it, laying butterfly kisses against her lips. Elsa giggled at the playful display of affection, and she gently cupped Anna’s cheeks with both of her hands, kissing her back despite the smile on her face.

“I have missed you so much these days,” Anna whispered against her mouth, trailing soft kisses along the side of her throat. Her hands came to rest lightly on Elsa’s hips. “I’m sorry I wasn’t always there for you.”

“We are both at fault here, so I apology, as well,” Elsa said just as quietly. “Let’s just…promise each other that, from now on, whenever there’s something that bothers us, we will tell the other immediately. Okay?”

Anna smiled tenderly up at her and kissed her again. They lost track of the time as the sounds of their lips connecting and disconnecting echoed inside the silent chamber. When they finally pulled away from the kiss, Anna whispered “Okay,”

Then, she dragged Elsa to bed, and showed her all her love not through words, but through gentle caresses and lingering kisses.


	18. Chapter 17

**WATCHING** Elsa sleep might be one of her favorite things to do. Some might deem it as creepy or rather disturbing and yet, Anna couldn’t seem to be able to stray her slightly sleepy teal eyes away from her sister’s face. Unlike her, Elsa was not a heavy sleeper. Lying in a supine position, she looked peaceful, with her thin lips lightly parted, every inch of her face as relaxed as ever. Lately, seeing her sister look this calm and content was a rare sight, what with dealing with the evil spirit and organizing a war against an enemy they weren’t even aware of his strengths.

But Anna believed that they were handling the situation quite well. After that heated argument three weeks ago, they had made a compromise; Anna would slow down with her sword fighting lessons — which she did — and Elsa would not do all the hard, queenly work alone. Soon after that agreement, they had found a balance, and somehow, things almost went back to normal.

Elsa sighed softly and the sound brought Anna back to earth. She smiled, witnessing the bloom of a delighted smile on Elsa’s lips. Lying on her side, Anna propped her weight on one elbow and absentmindedly traced her hand along the bare, porcelain skin of her sister’s abdomen. She loved mornings like these; where they both lied naked underneath the blankets and shared their warmth with each other. It was their safe haven, their sacred place, where no one could hurt them, and no one could know about them.

Anna leaned down, resting her right hand against Elsa’s forehead and placing light and gentle kisses all over her face, carefully avoiding her mouth. Elsa sighed again, that one arm wrapped around her unconsciously tightening the grip around her back. Anna giggled against her skin, now aiming for her neck. She playfully stuck out her tongue and licked Elsa’s chin. And inevitably, she felt Elsa stir against the side of her body, one of her sister’s hands trailing up her back and gripping the nape of her neck and toying with the few baby copper hair there.

“Hm, morning,” Elsa mumbled sleepily, voice hoarse and deep and cracking at the edges. Anna could hear the curve of her smile from her words.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Anna grinned, pulling away from her neck and looking down at her. Elsa’s cerulean eyes were especially a deep blue, bleary and still clouded with sleep. Her dark lashes batted adorably up at Anna and the latter couldn’t help but place a tender kiss on the tip of her nose. “I’m sorry for waking you up, but I couldn’t resist,”

Elsa giggled like a little girl and pulled her down, whining, “Give me my good morning kiss, then,”

Their lips met chastely, and their sweet kiss lasted less than a few seconds, their smiles breaking it prematurely. Anna nuzzled their noses together before diving into her arms, burying her face in the crook of her sister’s neck. She cuddled her close, wrapping both of her arms around her waist and pulling their bodies even closer. Elsa smelled like snow and linen and lavender. For Anna, her scent had inevitably been associated with her own happiness.

Her sister’s arms circled her shoulders, her lips planting a soft and reassuring kiss on her temple. Anna heard her sigh blissfully, their legs intertwining under the purple blankets of Elsa’s bed, which was preferred because, somehow, Anna deemed it bigger and more comfortable than her own.

“Do you want to take a bath with me?” Anna asked, pulling away from Elsa’s neck.

“Hmm — but it’s _so_ cozy here,” Elsa pouted.

Anna rolled her eyes and shook her head, leaning down to press a quick kiss to her sister’s lips. “Come on, don’t be grumpy. That’s usually _my_ role,”

As she got up from the bed, she heard Elsa’s slightly hoarse laughter echo in the four walls of the silent chamber. Anna put on a decent nightgown before padding over to the bathroom. While she prepared a bath for the two of them, filling the tub with hot water and a pleasant soap that would soon create bubbles, she figured Elsa had fallen asleep, for she heard no sounds coming from the adjacent bathroom.

And she was proved right as soon as she returned to the other chamber, Elsa’s naked body still under the sheets, still very much sleeping. Anna snorted, holding her chuckle behind a hand and lovingly shaking her head at her sister. After all, she _had_ worn her out last night, so she couldn’t exactly blame Elsa.

She conceded her five more minutes of peaceful slumber, before once again waking her up. Although bitterly — who would want to leave the warm bed on a Sunday morning? — she got up and, without putting anything on, directly walked to the bathroom.

She got in the bathtub first, gingerly sitting down with her back against one end of the white marble tub. Anna discarded her nightgown and got in as well, sitting across her sister with her back against the other end of the tub. There was enough space for them to stretch their legs, their calves resting gently against one another’s hips. With a playful smirk, Anna took a hold of both Elsa’s ankles and rested her feet against her chest. And then, she blew between her fingers.

“Hey! Anna, stop, that _tickles_!”

Elsa giggled and tried to break free from her sister’s grip. Anna laughed and let her go, an amused grin spreading across her face as she looked at Elsa with an enamored gaze. They intertwined their legs, Elsa’s thighs now resting against Anna’s calves.

Anna then shifted forward, moving closer to the other woman before gently grabbing onto Elsa’s hips. Beneath the water, soft skin gliding along soft skin, Anna let her fingers roam across her sister’s back. Now, they sat one in front of the other, thighs on thighs, and Elsa wrapped her arms around Anna as she pulled her in a loving embrace.

“Are you ready for today?” Anna asked quietly, her chin barely moving against her sister’s shoulder. She run her digits through Elsa’s free and thick platinum hair, gathering some bubbles and then rubbing her between the shoulder blades.

Today would be the day they would have their last meeting with the King and Queen of Corona, the last kingdom they would need in order to complete the list of their allies. They both knew that it would be a stressful day, for everything they feared would come soon enough. After today, arrangements for the war — such as armies, supplies, allies and weapons — would be finished and they would finally, officially be _ready_ for whatever was coming against them. The notion that they weren’t alone comforted them, but there was a deep and collective fear that resided within the two sisters’ heart — and that was _losing_ each other. Anna’s mind almost sounded repetitive, but whenever she had some time to herself, all she could think about was that the more time passed by, the more she would get near to the day she could _possibly_ lose her sister again. And she didn’t want that day to come. Not yet. She wanted them to die in each other’s arms, when they were old and gray and smelly, in the bed where they had just woken up minutes ago, and with the sun rising outside the window. That was how she wanted to die. _With_ Elsa. She could never survive losing her again, not after she had _just_ got her back. And she knew that Elsa felt _exactly_ the same way, if the way her sister hugged her more tightly was anything to go by.

“Saying yes would be a lie,” Elsa whispered, her breath warm against the wet skin of Anna’s shoulder. “But, let’s just say that I’m not _unprepared_. We knew this day would come.”

Anna swallowed and closed her eyes, relishing in the feeling of her sister’s naked skin against her own. “Yeah,” she whispered back. “But today everything gets more real. It is all just — _so_ overwhelming. And I know that he’s coming. I don’t know if it’s because we’re connected through the Fifth Spirit, but I just — I have a feeling that he was _waiting_ for us to be fully prepared for the war. Like — isn’t it strange that you haven’t had a nightmare ever since we returned from the Northuldra?”

“But — why would he do that?”

Anna sighed and shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know — maybe because it wouldn’t be fun for him to, you know, just fight against us? He’s a butt head, so you know, he would want to cause as much destruction as possible. What fun would there be if he killed only one of us?”

Anna felt Elsa tense between her arms and she immediately regretted her choice of words. Just as she was about to apologize, her sister relaxed again. “You’re probably right,” she sighed. “When I saw our grandfather in my last dream, I feel like — he enjoyed seeing people fight against each other.”

“Ugh,” Anna rolled her eyes. “What a _butt head_ ,”

Elsa giggled against her and kissed her shoulder gently. “Will you be there with me today?”

Anna pulled away and tenderly cupped Elsa’s face. She traced her cheeks and smiled. “Of course,” she replied softly. “I can skip training today. I want to be there for you.”

Elsa blushed slightly before pulling her in for a gentle kiss. When they parted, their foreheads touched and closed their eyes, listening to the gentle lapping of the water, their quiet breathing, and they could almost hear the sound of their heartbeats, slowly matching each other’s rhythm.

There was this moment, in which they both looked into each other’s eyes, and simply _felt_ the buzzing connection between them. It lasted merely seconds, but the feeling had been so strong that Anna shakily breathed out in order to steady her suddenly racing heart. Was that magic? And if so, is that why Elsa looked less shaken up by the sudden convergence of their souls? Perhaps it was part of being a bridge of the same Spirit. Perhaps only Anna had felt that single, electrifying moment where she had heard Elsa’s heartbeat inside her own mind, Elsa’s own tranquility and essence blend perfectly with her own. But Anna hoped that it hadn’t been a one-sided feeling.

Either way, she said nothing and kissed Elsa again, this time with more vigor than before, and wrapped her arms around Elsa’s hips. Consequently, her sister could do nothing but sit on her lap, her legs circling Anna’s waist and surrounding the latter with her warmth.

They kissed for long minutes, the sound of their lips meeting echoing inside the silent bathroom. And then, before it could go anywhere, they parted with light giggles and washed each other, like they used to when they were younger. Spreading soap and bubbles along her sister’s back reminded Anna of when they used to bath together, their Mama kneeling beside the bathtub and washing their hair. Anna remembered that one time she had accidentally tickled Elsa underneath the water, how her sister had almost frozen the water inside the tub. She smiled fondly at the memory and couldn’t help but kiss the nape of Elsa’s neck.

When they got out of the bathtub, they helped each other getting dressed and after merely an hour, they exited Elsa’s bedroom, ready to face their day, as long as they did it side by side.

* * *

September arrived with autumnal rain, with winds that felt colder and sharper, and with an almost stifling anticipation that dared not to leave the sisters alone. August lasted like the blink of an eye, for it was filled with happy memories and days spent in the library. Anna kept training, Olaf kept being his jolly self, Kristoff kept spending time with them and supported them restlessly, with whatever they needed, and Elsa kept obsessing over the fact that, no matter how much time slipped between their fingers like sand, the Mørkets Herre had yet to declare war. In between her concerns, she found it almost impossible to spend one minute apart from her sister, save for when she had her sword fighting lessons. Whenever they were not together, something inside of Elsa screamed for Anna’s mere presence, as if without her she couldn’t bare one single moment alone. Perhaps it was her role as the older sister that gave voice to her concerns, gave space to her protectiveness to come out of its shell. Either way, a consequence she couldn’t help but notice was that their love making had transformed into something more passionate, more hurried, more…desperate.

It was useless to deny it, because they both felt it; the urgency conveyed by their touches, the tight grip they had over each other as they embraced and basked in the afterglow. The more time passed, the more they felt like their relationship was reaching its end. As if the war could be nothing but their finish line. As if the death of one of them were inevitable.

Although the tension and pressure could be felt by everyone, not just by the two sisters, they never talked about it nevertheless. It was a topic that never came up during family game nights, and when it did, either Elsa or Anna would direct the conversation in the exact opposite direction. Neither Kristoff nor Olaf questioned them, for they were equally as afraid of the looming war as them.

On certain nights, when one of them felt especially hopeful, they would talk about the future. Elsa would lay on her back and Anna would rest her head on her chest. Their hands would be intertwined as well as their legs under the blankets. They would play with each other’s fingers and they would gaze in two different parts of the ceiling. And mindlessly, they would talk about Christmas. They would talk about Elsa’s birthday and, inevitably, Anna’s birthday. They would chuckle to themselves and do so quietly, as if afraid that laughing loudly would only disrupt their peace. With conversations about a future they thought was almost out of reach, they would tear up and cuddle more closely, but they would never cry. They had done enough of that. And Anna would be the one to usually lift her head up, kiss her sister’s cheek and bury her face in the crook of her neck, right beside her single braid. And then, after quite some time spent in silence, they would fall asleep.

On other nights, instead, words would not be spoken between them. The only sounds that would be heard in Elsa’s bedroom would be their gasps of pleasure and cries of passion, as they took each other to a place where all was fuzzy and perfect and never ending. The aftermath of their lovemaking would be nothing but comfortable silence, where a tinge of desperation and anticipation would linger in the air between them until they fell asleep.

Everything was calmness, until one day it wasn’t.

One mid-September afternoon, Elsa was walking back to the library after retrieving a jar of cookies from the kitchen, at Anna’s insistence; Olaf, Kristoff and her sister were all waiting for her, ready for another rematch of Charade.

Elsa almost dropped the jar when she caught sight of Runeard at the end of the hall.

Her breath hitched in her throat as she gazed at his mighty figure. He was as much real and tangible as her, but something about the flickering gray aura all around him made him look like an apparition. A presumptuous smirk covered his thin lips as he stepped forward, towards her. His footsteps painfully and eerily echoed in the silent hallway.

Elsa was rooted to her place, her fingers trembling and her magic thrumming behind her fingertips. She didn’t make a sound; she only waited until he halted suddenly six feet away from her. Seeing her grandfather so up close, in _real life_ , inside _her_ home, with her family so close to him, made her seethe with anger. But she reigned in; a great sovereign never showed signs of weakness to their enemies.

“My granddaughter,” Runeard spoke, his voice deep. Part of his arms were covered by his ivory and long cape, his gloved hands neatly folded across his crotch. “We finally meet,”

Elsa said nothing. She kept staring at him with her lips forming a thin line. In the distance, she thought she heard her sister laugh wholeheartedly. Her eye twitched and she painfully and tightly gripped the jar of cookies.

“I see you’re not in the mood to talk,” Runeard mocked, an evil edge to his manly voice. “Well, then. Let _me_ do the talking,” he took another step forward, and Elsa’s magic finally bared as an azure glow lit up her hands. Runeard stared unimpressed at the display and kept on going with his speech. “I think I’ve given you _enough_ time to enjoy some quiet days with your family. Now, my _dear_ , comes the best part. I’m here to take back what’s mine. I’m here to bring Arendelle back to the flourishing land it deserves to be. So I’m here to give you two options. One, I declare _war_ , against you and all your stupid friends, and you will try to win a war you will _never_ , ever win. Or two — if you’re too much of a coward who doesn’t want to fight — you will _surrender_ to _me_ and give _me_ all the power,” Runeard smirked evilly. “Your choice.”

Neither of the two options sounded fair. Neither of the options interested her. She wanted peace for Arendelle, not a dictatorship. She wanted her people to be happy, not miserable under a cruel tyrant like Runeard. But she also didn’t want to lose her family or bend to her grandfather’s rules.

With a shaky breath, Elsa replied, “I choose the first option.”

Runeard’s eye twitched and he seemed mildly surprised, mildly annoyed. Did he really think Elsa would cowardly give him the throne _just like that_?

With a voice that almost resembled an evil growl, he muttered, “If it is a war you want, a war you’ll get,” and then, he smirked, briefly touching his strawberry blonde mustache. “I’ll give you seven days to prepare yourself. The Black Mountains will be the witnesses to our war, and I’ll wait for you there. If you don’t show up within seven days, I will do things _my_ way,”

Elsa nodded only once, feeling her blood boil and her anger mix horribly with her anxiety. Seven days. Seven days were all that separated her from the end of all this nightmare.

Holding his chin high, Runeard regarded her with a look that conveyed superiority, but Elsa stared headily at her grandfather. She would never let him think that he had the upper hand with her.

But he was cocky, manipulative, and with a derisive voice announced, “May the best man win, although I’m _sure_ that must be _me_. _Ha!_ — Goodbye, my dear. I’ll see you _then_.”

And just like that, with a swing of his long, deep green cape, his body vanished into thin air, leaving behind only a flicker of his gray aura, until that disappeared as well. Elsa was alone, once again, standing in the middle of the hallway, with the jar of cookies frozen between her slightly trembling fingers.

As much as she had anticipated this moment, she had been lying to herself when she had thought she was ready. On one hand, she _was_ ready. All she wanted to do was put an end to her grandfather’s terrorism, lock him back into his grave, into the past, once and for all. She was ready to feel okay again, ready for her life to go back to normal.

But on the other hand, facing Runeard also meant putting her entire family at risk. She almost wished she could fight this war alone, just so that if anyone had to perish, it would be her and not the people she loved the most in the world. But Elsa was afraid that this time, her powers wouldn’t be enough. Nobody knew what this evil spirit was capable of. Would Elsa’s magic even live up to the Mørkets Herre’s? If she wasn’t enough, then what was? If he killed _her_ , then who would protect everyone else? Would everybody inevitably fall to his tyranny, if Elsa failed to kill him?

Elsa’s breathing began to quicken and soon, she found herself back inside the library. Kristoff and Anna were too busy laughing at Olaf, who was being his usually jolly self, to even notice Elsa’s presence. Only when the temperature in the room dropped and their breaths condensed did they turn back towards the door and spot the distressed queen.

“Elsa?” Anna’s voice sounded distant because the only thing Elsa could do at the moment was panic.

She heard movement, the shuffling of blankets and a pillow falling on the ground. She heard Olaf ask Kristoff what was wrong, and she heard Kristoff say that he had no idea. Everything sounded distorted, her friends’ voices blended terribly with Runeard’s evil voice inside her head. Until Anna touched her, and everything went back to clarity.

“Elsa,”

Elsa felt more than heard Anna’s words as her sister’s lips grazed her cheekbone. Anna’s arms circled her waist and she couldn’t help but wrap her own around her neck. For a moment, she let her sister cradle her, hands so gentle rubbing her nightgown clad back, up and down, up and down, until the peaceful and calm pace of her touch was matched by her own heartbeat. Elsa closed her eyes shut, breathing in Anna’s scent and trying not to break down.

“I spoke to him,” she whispered faintly, against her sister’s ear. “I spoke to Runeard.”

Anna pulled back, holding her forearms and gazing deeply into her cerulean eyes. There was a mild anxiety inside her teal ones, but Elsa saw her attempt at holding her emotions back. “What? When?”

“A few minutes ago,” Elsa replied unsteadily. “At first, he gave me two options. Our submission or a war. And so I chose the latter option, and he — he said that in seven days, we have to meet him at the Black Mountains. That’s where he wants to have the battle.”

“The Black Mountains are near the Turf House. Since it will take us four days to get to destination, we could stop there the night before the battle,” Kristoff suggested from behind them.

Anna turned around to look at him, before glancing back at Elsa. “Kristoff’s right. If I’m not wrong, the Turf House is located in a really small village. We _could_ stay there, ask the villagers if they could host us.”

Elsa nodded slowly, absorbing the words of her friends. “We need to send a letter to our allies. Immediately.”

“Yes,” Anna agreed. “Do you want me to do that?”

“No. I’ll ask Kai if — if he could just do us this favor.”

Anna nodded and then stayed silent. Elsa’s still shallow breathing echoed inside the library and she held onto Anna’s hand.

“I could — ask him to do that. Maybe ask Gale’s help, so the letters can arrive sooner. You can stay here,” Kristoff offered, taking a tentative step forward. Elsa looked up at him, but it was Anna who, with a grateful smile, replied to him.

“That would be great. Thank you, Kristoff.”

Kristoff nodded once before exiting the library, taking Olaf with him and therefore giving the two sisters some privacy.

The chamber fell silent and Anna led her towards the couch in front of the crackling fire. They sat side by side and Elsa let her sister cradle her body, as she rested her head on her shoulder.

“I know you’re scared,” Elsa whispered suddenly, grabbing Anna’s elbows and squeezing them tenderly. “I’m scared, too.”

Anna kissed the top of her head. “I know,” she whispered back just as quietly. “Seven days are not — they’re not really _that_ far.”

“I just hope that our allies will get there in time.”

Anna played with the end of her braid and hummed. “That, I don’t know. It’s not impossible, but some of them are really far away from here.”

Elsa squeezed her eyes and sighed heavily. “What if it’s just us?” she asked quietly, meekly. “What if we arrive there and there are no allies. It will be just us, our army, and nothing else. What happens then?”

Anna was silent for a moment. It surprised Elsa how calm and collected she was. Usually, it was the other way around; Elsa comforting her sister and Anna freaking out like she was right now, with thousands of question that only time would answer. Still, she appreciated Anna’s comfort and warm embrace. It was surely better than both of them breaking down. And perhaps Anna was still too shocked by the announcement to truly be freaking out; however, Elsa is sure that when her breakdown comes, she will be there to hold her just as tightly as she is holding her right now.

“I don’t know,” Anna sadly said. “We will fight until we will have no more fight left in us.”

Elsa nodded and cuddled more closely to her sister, closing her eyes and listening to the anchoring sound of her heartbeat.

* * *

The day after Runeard declared war to Arendelle, Elsa visited Yelena. The Northuldra had selflessly offered themselves as their allies, and now that the battle loomed over them, Elsa had no choice but to let them know. The Nøkk had sensed her desperation, galloping faster than usual and arriving at the Northuldra camps in merely hours.

Upon seeing her so distressed, Yelena frowned heavily. Honeymaren was beside her, and they both looked up when hearing the loud sounds of hooves against the ground.

“Yelena,” Elsa said, dismounting the horse and quickly walking towards the older woman.

Yelena understood what was wrong before she could even say a thing. “It’s time, isn’t it?”

Elsa frowned, dread rising in her throat. “Yes, it is.”

Yelena’s lips formed a thin line and she glanced at Honeymaren beside her. “How much time do we have left?”

Elsa sighed. “I spoke to Runeard yesterday. The war will happen at the Black Mountains and he wants to meet us there next Friday, which means we have only six days left.”

Yelena sighed and Honeymaren’s face fell completely, eyes downcast.

“Okay,” the older woman nodded once. She turned towards Honeymaren and said, “We will need to prepare everyone. We are not going to stay here.”

“What?” Elsa asked, mildly surprised, as Honeymaren nodded and then left, probably following Yelena’s orders.

“We are nomads. We stay by each other’s sides no matter what. New mothers and kids won’t fight, but they will stay at the Turf House, where they will be near us.”

“Isn’t that...dangerous?” Elsa asked hesitantly.

“It could be, yes,” Yelena sighed. “But we don’t know who we’re going against. We don’t know what the Mørkets Herre is capable of. If…” she paused, suddenly seeming unsure of what she was going to say. Then, she took a deep breath and steadily met Elsa’s stare. “If he’s going to defeat all of us, stay assured that those who can’t fight will want to perish with us.”

Elsa swallowed thickly and tried not to think of the worst happening. She averted her gaze and nodded once. “Okay. You can bring whoever feels up to it. We’ll welcome you with open arms.”

Yelena nodded. “Perfect,” she breathed heavily. There was a pause in the conversation, for there was nothing else to talk about. But then, with a voice that resembled more familiarity and less business, Yelena asked, “Are you afraid?”

Elsa could say yes. She could tell the truth and say that she was scared because Yelena was her friend and she deserved to know the truth. She could tell Yelena all about her fears, concerns, and hear the wisdom that the older woman, with years of experience, could perfectly shower her with.

Instead, Elsa found herself telling a blatant lie. “No,” she said shortly. Perhaps Yelena, as she frowned slightly, could see right through her. Perhaps she believed her, believed that she wasn’t afraid of every inevitable consequence that would follow a possible loss of the war. Either way, as Yelena said nothing after her reply, she questioned, “Are you?”

“Yes,” Yelena immediately said. Her voice slightly trembled. “I am terrified of what might happen. But if I let that fear overcome my soul, I will be useless. So I hide it. I keep it bottled down and prevent it from eating me alive. That’s how you survive something like this.”

Elsa stared at her for a long moment before asking, “What if I’m not afraid of what might happen to me. What if I’m afraid of losing someone I love?”

The ghost of a smile seemed to tug the corners of Yelena’s lips upwards. Her gray eyes softened and, even though no name was spoken, they both were aware of who they were talking about.

“When we are afraid of losing a loved one, during a battle we tend to lose sight of ourselves. We worry about them, ignoring the fact that something might happen to us, as well. So — protect yourself the way you would protect them. Losing someone is painful, especially if you get to live the rest of your life without them. But them losing you might be even worse,” Yelena took a step forward and put a hand on her shoulder. “I know it’s scary, Elsa. It’s a feeling that doesn’t go away, no matter what you do. And even though I’ve had that same feeling thousands of times, I have yet to find a way to send it away.”

Elsa looked at her own feet and sighed in defeat.

“But,” Yelena said, a small smile on her face. “The only thing you can do to at least lessen the tight rope of fear around your heart is _love_ them. Spend time with them. And try not to let negativity ruin your time together.”

Elsa smiled at the advice and nodded timidly. “Thank you, Yelena.”

Yelena’s grin only got bigger. “Now, we must say goodbye. I have things to prepare and people to talk with.”

Elsa nodded. “I’ll meet you at the Turf House on Thursday.”

“Perfect.”

They shared a brief hug, one that filled Elsa with strength and hope. And then, Elsa mounted the Nøkk, and rode back towards home.

With a new vigor pulsating her warm blood through her body, she decided that no amounts of fear could ever tame her, for she will always let bravery prevail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really really sorry for how terribly late this update is. I was feeling a little down in the last few weeks so motivation was literally thrown out of the window lol. But I feel better now! So, don't worry. This chapter has a little bit of plot, because it moves us to the last part of the story.  
> Which means that we're near the end, like, three (maybe four) chapters are left. I'm literally so excited about what's to come, you guys have no idea :')
> 
> (I have a little something prepared for the next update...something that involves ice and smut... ;) )
> 
> As always, please tell me what you think because comments make this bitch (it's me, I'm the bitch in question lol) super super happy.
> 
> Hope you enjoy and thank you so much for reading!!
> 
> P.s I have also published a new elsanna fic, "21st Century Woman", which, on the angst side, will be more on the fluff and humor side. So, check it out if you'd like :)


	19. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets highly NSFW (towards the end though) so I recommend not reading in public. You better get somewhere private for this :')
> 
> Song I listened to the most during this chapter and it might set the mood: Stjernestøv by Aurora
> 
> Enjoy!

**MON** **DAY** is a quiet and eerie day. It begins early in the morning, no sounds echoing in the castle hallways save for the soft and faint crackling coming from the kitchen.  The village  wa s awake and the usual chatter shared between Arendellian people as they sauntered through the market  wa s hushed, as if speaking louder would  have  disturb ed the slumbering anxiety that hid within everyone’s  souls . 

Anna woke up with her heart in her throat, beating harshly against her rib cage. The first thing her mind reminded her of was the looming departure. It was less than twenty four hours away, and she knew that thousands of horses were being readied at the moment. It was the only thing she could think about as she rose from bed and went to the washroom to brush her teeth. Elsa, as always, had already began to attend  to their queenly duties, for she hadn’t been there when Anna had first opened her eyes. 

The sound of her bedroom door opening and closing made Anna poke her head out from the washroom. She was surprised to see Gerda standing timidly at the foot of her bed. 

“Hi!” she greeted softly, a small nervous smile lighting up her features. The maid smiled back, but it was obvious from miles and miles away that it was forced.

“Good morning, your Majesty,”

Anna dried her face with a cloth and then went back to her bedroom, standing a few feet away from the old woman.

“ Is everything okay?” she asked. There was a strange look across the maid’s face.

“Your sister told me to tell you that...your _armor_ is ready. It’s in the dressing room,” 

Anna’s smile fell and she tried to swallow the dread that threatened to rise up from deep within. The armor.  Of course it was ready. The following day they were bound to leave Arendelle and begin their trip towards the Turf House, where they would stay Thursday night in order to get a good night rest before Friday.  And Anna, months ago, had personally asked the armorer if he could make her an armor for the incoming war, one that would be comfortable to fight in but that would also protect her from harm.  He was the best armorer in all of Arendelle, and she knew that whatever he had created, it will be perfect for her. 

Gerda led her down the hallway and Anna took a deep breath, before entering the dressing room. The maid stayed behind her, as Anna stepped towards the armor stand.

Everything was perfect. She had not requested a helm because the idea of having her head inside one of them was restricting and suffocating. However, she admired everything else that the armorer had crafted from simple metal. The gorget, an armored collar made of hinged plates, rested upon the pauldron,  which added protection over the breastplate and across the upper shoulder.  Then, there was the  plackart, which covered the lower half of the breastplate. Anna reached forward, caressing the  scintillating steel, the surface hard and cold beneath her shaky fingertips. Her eyes trailed downwards, towards the fauld, its lames attached to the plackart, protected the lower part of the abdomen. The arms of the mannequin held the couter  — armored elbow guards  — the vambrace  — which shielded the forearms  — and the gauntlets, which were armored gloves. To conclude, her roaming eyes landed on the lower part of the armor: poleyn, which were cup-shaped and protected her knees. A greave for each leg, steel that protected the lower part of her body. And lastly, a sabaton for each foot. 

As Anna took in the armor in its entirety, she tried to imagine herself in it. She tried to visualize herself in a war-like situation, sword on one hand and shield on the other. In her head, she saw a version of herself that was fearless, brave and strong. She saw no hints of fear on her face;  only, perhaps, traces of mud and grass. The steel shone brightly under the lighting of the dressing room, and she noticed only now the little details; the Arendelle crocus engraved on the left side of the breastplate, which added the colors purple, green and ochre to the mix. Then, on the other, right side of the breastplate, she noticed a little, barely there snowflake; one that hadn’t been added by her sister. 

Beside the armor, there was another mannequin, one that held a cushioning gambeson which, she figured, was meant to be worn underneath the suit of armor. At its foot, then, she saw the circular shield, made of steel and with, once again, the Arendelle crocus painted across the front. And then, attached to the fauld there was the sheath, and to her surprise, she noticed that it was not empty.

Slowly, she reached out, and pulled the sword out of the black leather.  The blade was sharp  and thin, precise , and against the light, she noticed wheat motifs engraved along its side. She rested it against her hand, felt the  smooth surface of the cold iron against her palm. The handle  wa s made of the same leather of the sheath and she touched it lightly with her thumb.  It almost felt like the sword was coming alive in her grasp, humming to her and offering  to her its mighty power,  its ineffable guidance . The thought that she would, inevitably, _spill_ blood with this made her swallow thickly.  She didn’t like the idea of killing, but it was  _for_ Arendelle. For her family, for her people. For their  _freedom_ . 

Anna released a shaky breath and felt Gerda take a step closer to her. 

“That was your father’s,” she said quietly, and when the queen looked at her maid,  she  saw that her gray, pensive eyes were on the sword between her hands. “He never actually used it for battle, because there had never been  one during his realm. But he used it for practice as soon as he became a great sword fighter.”

At the knowledge that her father had held this sword, that this was something that belonged to _him_ , her throat constricted and her eyes inevitably turned misty. Anna averted her gaze, tracing her index finger along the blade. 

“And he would be so proud of you today, my dear,” Gerda said softly. When Anna dared to look back at her, she saw her teary eyes filled with pride and sadness, fear. Every emotion mixed together and it was almost enough to break her down. “ _I_ am so proud of you, your Majesty. You and your sister have both come so far.”

“Thank you, Gerda,” she whispered, voice slightly hoarse because of the lump in her throat. “This means a lot to me,” she gave her a tentative smile, and when Gerda smiled back, her eyes squeezed and a tear almost rolled down her cheek.

“May I ask you something, your Majesty?”

Anna kept admiring her father’s sword and nodded. “You can.”

“Kai and I want to come with you tomorrow.”

The words surprised her and before giving the maid her undivided attention, she put the sword back into its leather sheath. “What?”

“You and your sister are our only family. If we lose you, we lose our everything. And this castle...I don’t think we could stay here, if God forbid something happens to the both of you,” Gerda breathed shakily. “May we come with you?”

Anna stared at the maid for a long moment, not believing what she was hearing with her own ears. Kai and Gerda wanted to _intentionally_ put their lives at risk and leave Arendelle _with_ them?  She knew that the kingdom would be left in the  great hands of the Council as soon as they left the following day, and that only their army would come with them. The fact that Gerda and Kai, two  servants , wanted to accompany them in this journey baffled her. 

“But… ” she hesitated. “Your lives would be in grave danger. You could…” Anna swallowed, unable to actually give voice to the word _die._ “Would you really leave everything behind _just_ to stay with me and Elsa?”

Gerda nodded, and the motion caused a lone tear to escape from her left eye. Her voice shook when she spoke next, “I’m really sorry, your Majesty. We would like to be there for you and your sister,  perhaps help you with getting into your armor and prepare you some hot chocolate just to make you feel at home . We want to be  _useful_ , because here we would only feel  _miserable_ , spending all our time thinking about how you are faring the war. I know this may sound crazy and totally out of place, but we have watched you _grow_ , and we care deeply for the both of you.”

Gerda took a napkin out from her back pocket and dabbed at her tear stained cheek s . Anna’s heart melted at the gesture; she had never actually seen her maid cry. And she could not bare the thought of standing in front of her and not offer her simple  _human_ contact. Just because they were of two different social classes, they were the subject and their sovereign, didn’t mean that  she could stand there and simply watch her crumble. Anna wasn’t like that. And she was scared, terribly so, and she knew that Gerda was _frightened_ as well, if her soft sobs were anything to go by. 

So Anna pulled her forward, wrapping her arms around her back and holding her tightly.  The strong embrace made one single string inside of her break, and silent tears of her own rolled down of her cheeks. Somehow, this exchange, seeing her suit of armor, _holding_ her sword, the one she would use on Friday, for the first time, made reality crash onto her like cold water. And it woke her up, slightly, and made her realize that literally _everything_ could happen in five days. She could lose Elsa _or_ Elsa could lose _her_ and as a consequence, Arendelle would lose one of its sovereigns. Or worse, it  c ould lose _both_ of their queens, because as much as she didn’t like to think about that option, them _both_ dying was as much possible as only one of them dying. 

Anna was all for positivism, optimism, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up. Winning this war meant peace. It meant freedom and, most importantly, it would mean a _future_ for her and Elsa. The woman she loved deeply and was so lucky to have back into her life.  As much as it hurt her to think about something _that_ hopeful, Anna let herself be cuddled by the idea of it.

She cried into Gerda’s arms and comforted her maid with reassuring words she half believed in.

Everything is going to be okay.

Everything is going to _be_ okay.

* * *

On  Tuesday morning,  thousands of soldiers and knights gathered at the square. In front of everyone else, the two monarchs of Arendelle sat astride their horses, ready to departure and begin their ascent to the Turf House. The entire village was awake,  in the streets, just to say goodbye to the brave army that would fight alongside the two sisters. Carts filled with goods, essentials, and Anna’s armor (she would wear that only on Friday, now she was simply donning a travel dress similar to the one she had used last year on their trip to the Enchanted Forest) followed their wake as they began to march.  Anna waved at her people; some were crying, some were waving their napkins in the air. But all of them were cheering for them, all of them were hoping, praying for them to return home safely. Anna tried to etch this moment in her mind, tried to make this memory look like a picture inside her head, if God forbid this were the last time she saw the village so full of life, so full of hope. 

She looked to her side, and saw Elsa doing the same thing. There was a pensive look on her beautiful face, her intricate single braid hanging over her left shoulder. Her indigo cloak — one that was the same as the one Anna was wearing — fluttered in the wind and trailed behind her, forming a wave for each time her horse took a step forward. Elsa was, as well, not wearing a suit of armor, or something that resembled one. Under the cape, she wore a lovely deep blue travel dress over black pants and boots of the same color. Anna knew that, beneath her coat, the skin of her pale shoulders was all bare, while her neck stayed safely hidden beneath the deep purple fabric which, through the one that covered her collarbones, was connected to the rest of the dress. The latter was made from sheer silk and covered in ice sequins, which sparkled whenever they caught the light of the timid sun. 

As if sensing her gaze, Elsa turned and met her eyes. Anna offered her a shy smile and stared at her sister as she puffed up her chest, taking a deep breath in and gifting her with a small smile of her own.

Within minutes, the rows and rows of soldiers were finally outside the village, and together they all venture d into the woods at a leisurely pace. Kristoff came to ride  Sven beside them, with Olaf sitting behind him. The jolly snowman waved at them with enthusiasm, and the two sisters giggled softly at him.  Thank goodness they had him to brighten up their days.

“This takes me back to last year, when we went to the Enchanted Forest,” Kristoff said conversationally.

While Elsa hummed, Anna couldn’t help but jokingly reply, “Let’s hope it doesn’t end the same way,”

Elsa and Kristoff immediately looked at her with slightly widened eyes and Anna regretted the words the moment they escaped from her mouth. She had meant to sound sarcastic, but she had only managed to worsen the mood.

“I’m sorry, guys. I’m just really nervous,” Anna said apologetically.

“No need to apologize,” Kristoff offered her a tight lipped smile. “I think we’re all nervous here.”

“It is okay to be scared,” Elsa jumped in. She stared down at her hands holding the reins. “We are going against an enemy whose powers are almost entirely unknown, so it is okay to be scared of him. I...am scared, too.”

Anna sighed heavily. “I just really want this to be all over. I want to go back to how it was when everything was normal and boring,” she admitted with a melancholic look on her face.

“I don’t think it was ever boring,” Olaf objected. “It’s always fun when we are all together, so I was never bored!”

They all laughed and a light weight that had been placed over their hearts is suddenly lifted with the help of Olaf’s lighthearted comment. Of course everything for him was fun.

“You are right, Olaf,” Elsa agreed, her tender cerulean eyes falling briefly on Anna. They shared a soft look, one that two sisters wouldn’t normally share, before Anna cleared her throat and looked away, a blush forming on her cheeks. Accidentally, she glanced Kristoff’s way, and saw her friend curiously staring at them. She said nothing, but her cheeks reddened even further.

“Oh, guys! Are you ready for some more trivia?” Olaf asked cheerfully. The group let out a collective groan, and even General Mattias, who was riding his horse right behind them, laughed at the comical exchange. “I am! Okay! Did you know that butterflies taste with their hind feet?”

“...Did you know that a group of crows is called murder? I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true!…”

“...Did you know that  almonds are a member of the peach family?…”

“...Did you know that a snail can have 25000 teeth?…”

“Do you need me to remind you that sleeping on long journeys prevents insanity?”

“Actually, Kristoff, I checked, and that’s not true!”

“It is true, Olaf,”

“Yes, that’s the truth.”

“Oh, okay. You will have to show  me from what book you have read this, because I have found nothing in the library.”

Their playful and sprightly banter went on for the rest of their trip. It had managed to take their minds off the battle that would ensue on Friday. That is, until Thursday arrived and they finally reached the small village where the Turf House was located, and a somber mood fell upon all of them, Olaf included.  The people of the village had been awaiting their arrival, and they greeted them with welcoming arms and happy waves of the hands. Elsa spoke with the man who had been recognized as the mayor, and together they decided the arrangements for the night. 

The village had no more than ten dwellings and it lied a few miles away from the foot of the Black Mountains. From the Turf House, the building that was at the edge of the village, where Elsa and Anna would stay, they could spot the path that led into the woods; the last patch of ground they needed to cross in order to meet Runeard tomorrow.  There, right where the gravel began to make its way towards the Black Mountains, they would all meet in less than twenty four hours, ready for battle and wearing their suit of armors. 

The Turf House only had two chambers; one bedroom and a living room. With Gerda’s and Kai’s help ,  Anna placed her armor stand once they were inside the living room, and the two servants promised her that they would deal with putting her armor on the mannequins. 

So Anna went outside, looking for her sister. The sun had already set, only orange and red hues painted the sky beautifully; but in the distance, Anna saw threatening clouds making their way towards them, and she knew that, when tomorrow came, rain would inevitably fall.

The village people, so kind and thoughtful, had prepared a meal for all of the soldiers, even though they already had plentiful of food they had taken from Arendelle. They all gathered around a big bonfire, staying warm and laughing and trying not to think about what the following day would bring. When the first few stars began to dot the darkened sky, dozens  and dozens of Northuldra riding their reindeer arrived at the village and joined the m for dinner.  Anna and Elsa greeted Yelena, and the former took advantage of this moment, offering her a big, thankful hug. From the Enchanted Forest, the four other spirits had tagged along, probably because Elsa had asked them to, and Anna let out a cry of joy when Bruni settled between her slightly cold hands. The Earth Giants, as Yelena had told them, had not come near the small village, for fear they would frighten the little kids, and so they had stayed a little behind. 

The army of Corona, Rapunzel had wrote them in a letter, would be able to get to the Black Mountains the following morning. This comforted the two sisters, as they huddled nearby the bonfire and watched all the people that were there, who were there only because they wanted the same thing; Runeard’s  _failure_ and, as a consequence, their victory and  _freedom_ . 

Some of the Arendellian soldiers played the lute and some Northuldra women sang beautiful songs, ones that got the all the children  to  play around and chase each other. At some point, Olaf joined the kids, and with the snowman, who never failed to bring a smile to everyone’s faces, the children giggled and played a game in which they had to take the branches that sat atop Olaf’s head. It wasn’t as easy as it sounded, because with his ability to rearrange himself, he always managed to not get caught by the playful hands of the children that were around him.

Elsa wrapped her arms around Anna who, on her part, rested her head against her shoulder. Their bodies shook with chuckles from time to time and appreciated the little distraction that Olaf offered them.  Their bellies were full and Anna closed her eyes, breathing in her sister’s scent and trying to engrave this moment  on to her mind.  _This_ was what she wanted. This was what happiness felt like; with the sounds of kids giggling, the warmth of the bonfire, the stars above them, and Elsa’s arms around her waist. With her eyes closed, she  could pretend that everything was normal and that they didn’t have to fight a war in less than ten hours.  She could pretend that there was no end to this... _feeling_ that knew no boundaries as it spread all over her chest. Anna felt so at peace with herself, so content with the family she had made over the years. 

She felt Elsa play with her fingers and the action made her open her eyes. When she looked up, she met the most loving, the most tender gaze Elsa had ever graced her with.

“ I think I’m going to play with the kids,”  Anna whispered after a while. Elsa caressed her forehead and nodded, a shy smile forming on her lips. 

“Okay. I’ll still be here when you return.”

Anna glanced at her lips and reminded herself that she couldn’t just kiss her in public, no matter how much she wanted to do just that. She went for a kiss on the cheek instead and with a giddy feeling, she stood up, disentangling herself from her sister’s warm embrace. Anna tugged her cloak closer and smiled down at Elsa, who smiled back with no hesitation.

As soon as she was gone, Kristoff came to sit beside Elsa.

“Hey,” he said softly, the corners of his lips turned upwards.

“Hey,”

“Are you enjoying the party?”

“It’s not a party, Kristoff,” Elsa chuckled.

“It almost feels like it is,” he replied playfully. “It’s all nice. It makes me feel good, you know.  The food, the bonfire. The people of this village were really sweet.”

Elsa let out a hum of agreement and kept her eyes on her sister, who took a kid’s hand and began dancing to the cheerful tune of the lute.  She smiled at the sight, a warmth making her heart slow down. In that moment, with the biggest grin upturning her lips, Anna looked so _happy_ . She looked so carefree,  with  her shoulders relaxed and her whole body shaking with giggles.  At one point, she picked up the kid in her arms and spun them around, making the little girl laugh out loud as she clung to Anna’s shoulders. When she set her back down, they kept on dancing, and her sister’s sparkling teal eyes met hers for a brief moment. That second was enough to make Elsa’s heart clench and her soul bleed with realization. _This_ was what she was putting at risk. _This_ was what could perish tomorrow. Anna’s happiness. Anna, whose love could light up the entire world. Anna, who wouldn’t survive if she ever lost Elsa  _again_ . 

“Kristoff?” her voice shook with emotion, but she never averted her eyes from her sister.

Kristoff turned towards her and sensed the urgency that was concealed beneath her words. “Yes?”

“Will you promise me something?” Elsa whispered. She swallowed, and when her friend said nothing, she faced him with a serious expression. Kristoff’s brows were slightly furrowed, brown eyes reflecting the concern that crept from within. “ Promise me  —  that you’ll take care of Anna. That you’ll be there for her, if something happens to _me_ .”

Understanding crossed Kristoff’s eyes as his face fell. Elsa’s request was clear and simple. She wanted him to take Elsa’s place, if she dies tomorrow. She _needed_ him to make sure that Anna stayed alive, no matter what happened to Elsa tomorrow. 

Kristoff swallowed audibly and he seemed determined when he replied, “Nothing is going to happen to you tomorrow, I’m sure.”

He sounded so hopeful and convinced that Elsa couldn’t help but smile sadly. “It could, Kristoff. I’m not invincible.”

“Yes, I know that. But Anna believes in you. _I_ believe in you, too,” Kristoff sighed and glanced at Anna for a brief moment. He shuffled closer, and did something that surprised Elsa; he took her hand and held it gently in between his rough and big ones. “I have never, _ever_ seen her this happy. _You_ coming back made her this happy. She almost gave up, but _you_ saved her.  And if she loses you again, I  —  I’m not sure I can do something to help her. I tried to help her last time, too, but  —  all she ever needed was _you_ ,” he took a deep, shaky breath. Elsa swallowed the lump in her throat. “Yes, I promise you I will do everything I can do to help her, if you  —  if _something_ happens to you tomorrow. But you  —  promise  _me_ that _you_ will do everything you can to survive. Promise me you’ll come back for her.”

Elsa blinked back tears and nodded once, with determination. “I promise.”

Kristoff gave her a tight smile and squeezed her hand, before letting it go. When they looked back at Anna, they noticed that now she was singing along with the Northuldra women and that, in particular, she was _dancing_ with one of them. 

Elsa didn’t feel particularly jealous, but her eyes widened when Kristoff suddenly asked in a teasing voice, “Are _you_ jealous?”

When she turned to face him, her pale cheeks red dened ,  and  she saw the wiggling of his eyebrows, a lighthearted smile gracing his features. 

“What?” she breathed with a nervous chuckle. “Why would I be?” she made the mistake of asking.

“ Hm,” Kristoff shrugged. “No _reason_ ,”

And then he  _wiggled_ his eyebrows at her.  _Knowingly_ . And Elsa finally realized.

He knew.

He  _knew_ of them. 

She tried not to choke on her own saliva and stared down at her boots. She said nothing, for fear that she would make a fool of herself. The fact that Kristoff, Anna’s ex  _fiancé_ , knew of their secret, and had found out  _just like that_ , almost made her panic. But then, when she saw the serene look on his face, his relaxed poise, she reconsidered. Could he possibly... _support_ them?

“ _How_ did you know?” she asked in a whisper. Elsa fiddled with her hands. 

Kristoff regarded her with a happy smile. “You are difficult to read. Anna, on the other hand…” he shrugged nonchalantly. “ It  is quite obvious that she’s in love, and w e’ve known each other for years.  And  I’ve always found her fixation with you a little weird, but now...it makes sense, kind of? It is  _true_ love, after all.”

Elsa opened her mouth to apologize. “Kristoff, I’m sorry —,”

“ No, don’t start,” he pointed his finger at her in a threatening way, but there was amusement sparkling in his eyes. “I’m happy if she’s happy. And with you, she’s...on top of the world. You make each other better.  And it’s just... — like the sun is meant to rise at dawn and set at dusk, you and Anna were... _meant_ to end up together. ”

Elsa blushed even deeper and tried to hold back the grin that wanted to take over her lips. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “Does...anybody else know? We’ve tried to be d i screet  with it, but —,”

“ No, I haven’t told anyone. I had my suspicions, but now that you confirm it…” Kristoff chuckled. 

“Oh,” Elsa replied dumbly.

“It’s okay, it’s alright,” he smiled. “I’m...happy for you. You both deserve to be happy.”

Elsa blushed even deeper. “Thank you again, Kristoff. You are...a great friend.”

A crooked smile lit up his features. Then, he opened his arms and engulfed her in a warm embrace. Elsa, slightly bewildered by all the affection, wrapped her own arms around Kristoff’s bulky body and smiled. The hug lasted less  than five seconds, and when they parted, both of their eyes were misty. Kristoff bid her goodnight, before standing up and retiring to his assigned building. Elsa watched him go, and she was surprised to feel herself lightheaded. But it was a positive feeling, one that made her feel like floating, because Kristoff knew and he was  _happy_ for them. Not disgusted, not horrified. Simply happy. And Elsa couldn’t help but smile to herself. 

“What are you smiling about?”

Anna stood in front of her with the biggest smile on her face. “Nothing,” Elsa replied with a grin of her own.

“Okay,” Anna shrugged nonchalantly. Then, she reached out for Elsa’s hand and helped her stand up. “Ready?”

Elsa giggled. “For what?”

Anna’s eyes sparkled mischievously. “You’ll see. Come on,”

With their hands joined, they said their goodbyes to everyone and  walked back to the Turf House. Once inside, a heavy, thick silence filled the space between them, and Elsa’s heart quickened its pace in anticipation for what was to come. Anna led her to the bedroom and locked the door behind them. And when she turned around, their breath audible inside the silent and moonlit chamber, Elsa immediately noticed the lust and love inside her teal eyes. With dilated pupils, Anna walked slowly towards her, and they stood merely inches apart, breathing the same air. 

They had made love countless of times, but tonight felt _different._ All of a sudden, Elsa felt shy as she hesitantly reached out to cup Anna’s cheeks who, of her own accord, wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled their bodies flush against each other. Elsa then leaned in, slowly, tentatively brushing their lips together while their eyes fell closed. They kissed, and kissed. Softly and gently at first, before Anna pressed her hands flat against Elsa’s back and pulled her even closer. Their noses bumped, and a gasp echoed between them as they tilted their heads to the side so as to deepen the kiss.  Elsa tangled her hands into Anna’s copper hair, tugging tenderly and swiping her tongue against her bottom lip, waiting patiently for her permission. When their mouths opened, a collective moan echoed in the bedroom, silent save for their heavy breathing and the sound of their colliding lips. Then, Anna stumbled backwards, until her back made contact with the wooden door and Elsa pressed her against it. 

The younger woman reached for the clasp of Elsa’s  indigo cloak,  unbuttoning it before  letting  the garment fall on the ground with a thud. Her eager fingers immediately found the bare skin of Elsa’s pale shoulders, and she let her nails scratch lightly a path upwards, up towards the nape of her neck until they buried into Elsa’s soft platinum hair.  Elsa hummed appreciatively as her own hands found Anna’s hips, tenderly pushing her more against the door and greedily bucking her hips against her sister’s. 

Anna suddenly bit down on Elsa’s bottom lip, making her gasp in slight surprise  as she tugged it between her teeth . Then, she cradled the  back of the  older woman’s head and pulled her down, searching for more contact between their hungry lips.  Their  s light height difference made Anna yearn for more, made her feel like her sister was too far away from her craving body. And so, she began pushing her forward, until the back of Elsa’s knees collided with the side of the bed and she stumbled on top of her.

Miraculously, their lips never disconnected, not even when Anna adjusted her position and straddled her sister’s  h ips. The urgency in their actions was palpable and almost suffocating, as Elsa then unfastened Anna’s cloak and proceeded to fumble with the laces behind her dress. But her fingers were trembling, and she was taking  far  too long for Anna’s liking, who whimpered against her mouth and  reached around her own back, trying to help Elsa without interrupting their kiss. 

She moaned in sheer relief when, finally, the laces came undone and  Elsa hurriedly  pulled the dress over her head. She let it fall behind her  and  didn’t waste one more minute; Anna tugged at the fabric at Elsa’s neckline. The older woman got the hint and sit up as her sister busied herself with unfastening the laces  on the back of her dress. Anna didn’t seem to want to disconnect their lips, even though the task of undressing Elsa seemed to be a little bit more difficult with her eyes closed. 

Finally, _finally_ , the laces came undone and Anna let out an involuntary whimper as soon as she realized that the only garment that divided her from Elsa’s skin was her sister’s linen chemise. 

Elsa pulled her in for another bruising kiss, cupping her cheek with one hand while the other went around her back and cupped her behind. Anna bucked her hips, moaning into Elsa’s mouth and wrapping her arms around her neck. 

They kissed for minutes, the air in the room becoming more and more charged the more they stayed locked in each other’s embrace.  And then Elsa tugged at the waistband of her pants, until Anna was obliged to stand up and let them pool by her feet. While she occupied herself with removing the lower clothes — and in her desperation, her lust-fueled actions made her also remove her bloomers —  she watched with hooded teal eyes as Elsa did the same, their gazes locked in an unbreakable bond. 

Panting, Anna pushed away the offending clothes and watched as Elsa settled with her back against the headboard.  Then, as quickly as she could — but not fast enough, in her opinion —  she crawled on the bed and settled back on Elsa’s lap.

As their lips found each other once again, Anna moaned when her wet center made contact with the cold and pale skin of Elsa’s legs. Her thighs tightened their hold around Elsa’s hips and she thrust forward out of sheer desperation and urgency.  The older woman’s hands gripped her waist, the tight hold encouraging Anna to keep on grinding against Elsa. 

“ _E_ — _Elsa_ ,” she whimpered. Her neck arched as Elsa’s hungry lips found the sensitive spot beneath her ear and _sucked_ .  Anna panted, her hands taking fistfuls of Elsa’s chemise and tugging. “I—I need you, Elsa.  _Please,_ ”

Elsa moaned against her skin and in an almost animalistic way,  one that was so uncharacteristic of her, she pulled away just to grab the hem of Anna’s own chemise and taking it off of her. And, once Anna was completely naked astride her, the older woman lunged forward and wrapped her luscious lips around a pink, pert nipple.  She sucked, nipped, and soothed the slowly reddening skin with the tip of her tongue before repeating it again, and again, and again. And while her mouth worshiped one of Anna’s breasts, her free hand kneaded the other until she swapped, giving her sister’s chest all the attention it deserved. 

By the time she kissed the valley between her breasts, Anna was breathing heavily on her lap, her fingers tangling in Elsa’s platinum hair and pushing her more against her skin. Elsa breathed in her scent, letting her tongue leave a wet path that went from her chest to her earlobe. She gently bit her ear, arousal shooting down to her core when she was rewarded with a breathy moan against her neck.

And then, when Anna pulled her in for another open-mouthed kiss, she let her mind wander, only for a moment.  An idea occurred to her, one that had already invaded her thoughts more than once, but had never dared to give voice  to it . However, as Anna took off her chemise and then gently palmed her sister’s  bare breast, she seemed to notice the slightly  distracted look on her cerulean eyes.

Quietly, her breath still shallow, she asked, “What’s wrong?”

Elsa recovered and her eyes slightly widened. Unconsciously, she shifted beneath her sister’s weight and pushed her chest more against her palm. “I…” she hesitated. Should she say what she was thinking? It embarrassed her profoundly, because she didn’t know how Anna would react.

“Do—do you want me to stop? Am I doing something wrong?” Anna asked, and when Elsa caught her self conscious, slightly guilty and disappointed stare, she immediately shook her head.

“No! No, I—you’re  _amazing_ , Anna,” she smiled lovingly up at her sister and kissed her softly on the lips. Anna sighed in relief. “It’s just…” Elsa swallowed, and despite the deepening of her blush, she whispered, “...I was thinking of—of using... _my_ magic?”

“Your...magic? For what?”

When Elsa only stared up at her with pleading eyes, begging her to understand, Anna’s eyes suddenly widened in realization. “Oh. Oh!” her freckled cheeks took up a similar color to the one on Elsa’s face and her teeth bit down on her bottom lip. “What...were you thinking of?”

It was neither a rejection nor an agreement to her proposition, but Elsa, before she could regret it, prompted Anna to move a little bit until she almost sat on her knees. And then, through her embarrassment, she swiveled her left hand until the space between their still heaving bodies lit up with the usual azure glow that came with Elsa’s magic.

“Um, I was thinking of... _this_ ,”

The gasp that came out of Anna’s lips  made Elsa look up at her. Her teal eyes were the widest she had ever seen  them , as she gazed at the...ice  _shaft_ that was now between Elsa’s legs.  Surprisingly enough, Elsa gasped when Anna reached out and touched it with hesitant fingertips. 

“Is—is this okay?” Elsa asked, cheeks flaming red. Anna had yet to say a word, her eyes still locked on the ice that her sister had conjured for this occasion. Elsa began to feel self-conscious, regretting ever bringing this up to Anna. But then, the younger woman surprised her as soon as her entire _hand_ wrapped around the base of the ice shaft, because—

—Elsa could feel it, and _goodness_ , was she sensitive. 

Elsa moaned at the pleasant feeling of Anna’s hand, and her sister’s eyes looked up at her quizzically. “You—you can feel  _pleasure_ from  this?”

Elsa shifted again and nodded frantically. “Hm,” she hummed, voice slightly high pitched.

The moment she looked back up at her younger sister, was the moment she noticed something shifting inside her teal eyes. Her pupils were dilated, her teal irises were sparkling with unrestrained desire, and Elsa couldn’t help but pant as Anna began to move her hand up and down. 

Anna’s focus shifted back to the ice shaft, and Elsa gripped the sheets  beneath her legs when she began to crouch and—

“Oh,  _Anna_ ,” Elsa arched her back as Anna wrapped her lips around the tip. 

It still surprised her just how _much_ of this she could feel. She had never, ever in her wildest dreams thought that she could feel pleasure from creating a _shaft_ with her own magic. It was as if it were a part of her, the ice connected to her slick folds and sending spikes of pleasure up her spine whenever Anna took her in her mouth. And the more Anna stayed with her lips around it — sucking and letting her tongue run along the entire length of ice, _looking_ up at her with that intense gaze — the more she questioned herself, _why haven’t we done this sooner?_

Elsa moaned again and bucked her hips as Anna picked up the pace, and one of her hands found the back of her head, as she encouraged her to keep going further. As Elsa’s fingers tangled in her copper hair and _tugged_ , Anna moaned, closing her eyes briefly before looking back at her. Elsa’s legs spread to give her sister more room to work with, and just as she was about to lose herself in her ministrations, Anna stopped and crawled back on her lap, the slightly wet ice now resting against her stomach. 

And then, she lifted her hips, and before Elsa could stop her, Anna guided the tip of the shaft into her entrance. 

Anna gasped, and one hand gripped the side of Elsa’s neck. The older woman grabbed her hips for leverage, and tried not to get dizzy and lightheaded as she concentrated on just how  _amazing_ Anna felt around her. In contrast to the coldness of her magic, Anna was  _warm_ , and soft, and so welcoming as her sister began to  roll her hips. 

When they were finally hips to hips and Elsa was literally _engulfed_ in Anna’s warmth, she wrapped her arms around her back and pulled her in for a soothing kiss. She didn’t know what all this felt like for Anna, and she wondered if she felt the same scorching _fire_ _that_ she did. Elsa’s whole body was burning as Anna began to grind at a painfully slow but firm pace. And every time she bucked her hips forward, Elsa met each thrust enthusiastically, until they picked up the pace and Anna’s gasps and strangled moans filled the room. Their breasts grazed and Elsa looked up at her sister, whose face, scrunched up in pleasure, was illuminated by the pale moonlight filtering through the windows. Her teal eyes were hidden behind perfectly shut eyelids, plump lips parted in breathy moans and neck slightly arched. Elsa had never seen such a _breathtaking_ sight. 

And the fact that she could lose all of this tomorrow,  the fact that this could be the last time they ever made love, invigorated her to do _more_ , to give Anna _more_ . 

And so, unexpectedly, she rolled over and changed their position, lying between Anna’s legs and resting her weight on top of her. Elsa swallowed  the gasp of bewilderment with her mouth, kissing her senseless and gaining more speed with her hips.  With every moan that came out of Anna’s luscious lips, Elsa felt herself nearing the cliff’s edge. She let Anna wrap her arms around her shoulders  and her legs around her hips, and she couldn’t help but grab one of her hands. 

_Goodness_ , Anna was so tight. Elsa felt her velvet walls clench around her ice and she did nothing but  moan into her neck. 

“ _A_ — _Anna_ ,” she whimpered, for every time she rocked her hips forward and Anna met her thrusts, the back of the ice shaft made contact with her own clit, sending electric waves of pleasure to her entire body.  The bed creaked, and Elsa placed one elbow beside Anna’s flushed face, her hand reaching out to tenderly caress her forehead and move the stray copper hair behind her ear. Her other hand found the headboard, which hit the wall each time she rolled her hips forward.

Anna’s eyes finally opened, and as their noses nuzzled gently, she leaned into Elsa’s comforting and soft touch. Although the movement of  Elsa’s hips was rough and urgent and _desperate_ , the touch of her hand against her hot cheek felt almost  soothing ;  as if  reassuring  her that this was  _not_ going to be the last night they spent together. 

When Anna came undone, Elsa rode the waves of her  own  orgasm with her, stilling her hips against her sister’s. Anna came quietly, her loud moan swallowed by Elsa’s mouth. For a moment, they lied quietly, their lips still connected. And then, when they broke the kiss, their shallow breathing filled the room. Elsa kissed her forehead and gently pulled out of her, the younger woman whimpering at the loss of contact between their bodies as Elsa lied beside her. 

For minutes, they stayed still, their hands and legs intertwined. And then, Anna spoke softly.

“That was…” she let out a shaky breath. “...intense,”

They shared a weak laugh, one that caught at the back of their throats. Reality seemed to hit them both all at once. Elsa watched the beautiful flower that was Anna’s smile fall into a tremulous frown. Her own laugh died down as she held Anna’s hand tighter. 

“ Elsa,” Anna’s voice quivered terribly and Elsa swallowed.  When her sister turned to face her, teal eyes were filled with anguished tears. “That felt like...like — you were saying _goodbye_ to me.”

Elsa’s mouth parted and she chose her words carefully. “No, Anna...this — it wasn’t a goodbye. I’m not saying goodbye.”

Anna shook her head and looked up at the ceiling just as a few tears rolled down her freckled, still reddened cheeks. One of her hands reached up to wipe them away. “Elsa, that was — that _was_ a goodbye. I — we —,”

Elsa sat up and dragged her sister with her, taking her in her arms and interrupting her stuttering. “Shh, it’s okay. I’m here.  Don’t cry, ” she whispered against her ear. Her arms around Anna were tight, and she felt her sister grip her shoulder blades as she put her arms beneath hers. Anna shook with gentle and defeated sobs, the sounds breaking Elsa’s heart as she tried not to cry. Anna settled with her legs across her sister’s lap, and she let her cradle her like a mother cuddled her kids when they woke up from a bad dream.  But this was no dream. This was real. And Elsa wished she could kiss her sister until they were teared away from this terrible nightmare. 

Elsa kissed her temple, kissed her tears away and let her voice give some comfort to the younger woman.

“You — don’t get to — say goodbye. You can’t — leave me again,” Anna sobbed into her shoulder. At the sound of her heartbroken voice, Elsa gave up and let her own tears run free. 

“ I know, love. I know,” she kissed her cheek and pulled away so as to cup Anna’s tear stained face in her hands. Anna was clinging to her body as if she were afraid she could forsake her at any moment. “But I’m here. I’ll _always_ be here.”

Anna’s bottom lip quivered as tears spilled from her beautiful teal eyes. Elsa cried softly with her and kisse d her on the lips, the kiss tasting like grief and  _defeat_ and salt.

“ I love you. I love you so much,” Anna whimpered, her body trembling with unrestrained sobs. Her arms wrapped around her sister’s neck and kept tugging at her shoulders, as if trying to pull her closer despite there being zero distance between their bodies.  Elsa buried her face in her sister’s neck and wrapped her arms around her waist, holding on as tight  to her sister as she could.  And then, among her cries, Elsa heard her frantically repeat, “Don’t  _leave_ me. Don’t leave  _me_ .”

And Elsa whispered the only truth that she’d ever known.

“I’m not going _anywhere_ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... :)
> 
> How was this smut? I've never really written anything like this, so please do tell me if it was cringe or decent enough to read lmao. 
> 
> Also, I've changed the rating to E because of this chapter and because in the next chapters there's going to be some violence. 
> 
> As you see, not many chapters are left before the end (about three, including the epilogue), so get ready because they are going to be super tense and emotional! ;)
> 
> And as always, leave a comment and/or kudos if you like, I would love to hear some of your opinions about this. :)
> 
> Hope you are all okay and stay say guys, I love you


	20. Chapter 19 — The Battle Of The Spirits, SIDE A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this part of this story is divided into two "sides". This one, side A, is Elsa's pov of the war. Next chapter we will see side B, which means Anna's pov. 
> 
> I have songs that are perfect to get in the "battle" mood, so I will write them both here and in the chapter notes of the next chapter. My recommendations are: Warrior by Aurora, Blue Monday by the Baltic House Orchestra and both Mountains and Coward by Hans Zimmer.
> 
> (Yes three out of four are from amazing films I know I couldn't help myself sorry :') )
> 
> And as you all know, this story is coming to an end. I hope that most of you will be happy with the ending I will choose. Either way, please please let me know what you think of this. We're at the most crucial part of the story.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this new update guys :)

**MORNING** arrived with cold winds and faint rain. The patter on the roof woke Anna up, who slowly came to her senses. The right side of the bed was empty, the sheets under her palms still carried some of her sister’s warmth. But Elsa was not there. Anna sprung up immediately, copper hair slightly disheveled. Her heart couldn’t help but spread concern all over her still tingling body, but as soon as she heard quiet chatter coming from outside the Turf House, the breath she exhaled was of relief. She didn’t know what time it was; probably not early, since she was well rested and she was sure she and Elsa had gone to bed quite late last night.

Anna sighed to herself before rising. Indeed, as she peeked out the window, she caught a glimpse of numerous soldiers all gathered a few feet away from the gravel path that led to the Black Mountains. She saw Elsa talk with Kristoff, but before she could stare at her sister for longer, a knock sounded at the door.

“Your Majesty?”

It was Gerda.

Anna quickly finished putting on her bloomers and chemise and went to open the door.

“Hi, um, good morning,” she greeted the maid with a tense smile.

The look in Gerda’s eyes told her that she was scared. And that made Anna’s smile fall gradually.

“It’s time to go, your Majesty,” the maid whispered slowly.

Anna swallowed and nodded once.  As Gerda helped her put on the gambeson, Kai offered her breakfast. Anna ate, trying not to think about how everything she swallowed tasted like her worst fears.  She tried not to think too much about what was waiting for them at the Black Mountains, tried not to think about how she had let her walls crumble the night before. Instead, as she now finished her meal and Gerda helped her put on her suit of armor, she thought of Elsa’s arms around her, of how tight ly she had held her the night before. She focused on the cold steel against  the bare skin of her neck, of its weight on her whole body. She focused on feeling the leather hilt of her sword, and tried to communicate with it as if it were a living object. As if they were one. 

It took her  twenty five minutes to get ready, and once everything was on its place,  she stood in front of a mirror while Gerda stood beside her. Kai, on the other hand, stood a few feet away from them. But they both looked at her with the same pride in their eyes. 

Gerda put a hand on her shoulder and looked her up and down.

“You look like a fierce warrior, your Majesty,” Gerda smiled meekly, tender, teary eyes landing on Anna’s determined ones.

Anna stared at her reflection and gripped the strap of  the shield across her chest. She saw every sacrifice, every effort she had made in one year stare back at her. The  little girl with pigtails, who once believed in fairy tales, and  used to  chase the shadows of  imaginary  friends  down the castle hallways , had now grown into a mature, twenty two years old woman,  a _warrior_ .  The woman of the mirror was a fighter, who had never given in to the temptation of giving up the joy that was life. The woman of the mirror was a queen, who would  always  fight every single  enemy and tear down every single threat that would ever dare come near her people.  And the woman of the mirror was a sister,  the woman of the mirror was a lover, who would always be the  insurmountable wall between death and Elsa.  The woman of the mirror was herself, and Anna couldn’t help but puff up her chest and promise her that today was the day this nightmare  would end . Today was the day the sun would shine upon Arendelle again. 

Before leaving the Turf House and joining the others, Anna embraced Kai and Gerda with equal amounts of strength and love. Promise s of her return were left unsaid. Gerda cried in her arms, but the adrenaline in her veins prevented her eyes from spilling the same waterfall of grief.  Bravery, determination, faith; they all coursed through her vessels and pumped blood in her racing and fluttering heart. 

Once she bid the two servants an emotional goodbye, she faced the door and took a deep breath. Beyond that, there was the future; bright or dark, it was still unknown which face it wore. But Anna dared to believe, to let her optimistic self prevail over the anxious one, and walked out the building. 

Outside, she surfed among chattering soldiers and with her head held high, she met her sister at the front of the crowd. Elsa wore not a suit of armor made of steel, but of ice. And despite it being different from Anna’s  —  it was less confining and less warrior-like  —  she still looked like a knight. A beautiful, courageous knight. The azure coat had imposing shoulders  —  one of them was slightly covered by her single, neat platinum braid  —  and epaulets that made her seem regal and strong. For the first time in forever, the two sisters looked at each other and saw a side of each other they had never seen before. Elsa’s breastplate, in contrast to Anna’s, sparkled under the gray light of the clouds and moved up and down with each breath she took. On her waist there was no sheath for a sword, only a  dark blue  band that connected her chest plate to the icy skirt, which covered the azure pants made of  soft silk; their hem was tucked in leather boots. 

Anna watched an amazed look cross her sister’s face, as her cerulean eyes took in her suit of armor. The grip she had around the hilt of her sword tightened.

When their eyes met again, she saw the hint of a smile grace her sister’s face. Elsa nodded once and reached out, trembling fingers intertwining briefly with hers.  They squeezed each other’s hand; a gloved one in a bare one. 

And then, they turned towards their army, their allies, and spoke encouraging words. It was okay to feel fear. They were scared, too. But they were in this together. And they would face this challenge _together_ . 

“For Arendelle,”

“For Arendelle!” the crowd echoed back. The people of the village enthusiastically waved at them as they set off for war.

Some on horses and some on foot, they began to go up the gravel path, the sisters, Kristoff and Sven at the front. Behind them, Yelena, Mattias, Honeymaren and Ryder followed them steadily. They ventured in the forest which, with every step they took forward, seemed to get darker and darker. They rode for hours and hours, ascending the slopes of each mountain. All was calm, until afternoon came and an eerie atmosphere settled upon them. The shift in the air was so noticeable that it was difficult to ignore; their breath, save for Elsa’s, condensed. The reindeer, the horses — they all snorted as if they were in distress. Even Bruni, who was on Elsa’s shoulder, seemed to crouch in fear, his spine lighting up with gentle flames and his blue eyes hardening. Beneath Elsa, the Nøkk neighed and felt restless. Even Elsa, who had been so calm before, began to feel uneasy, and she gripped the magical ice reins tighter. Beside her, Anna glanced at her with an alarmed look.

Danger was near.

And that meant that _Runeard_ was near.

“This is strange,” Honeymaren suddenly whispered.

“What is?” Kristoff asked with the same hushed tone. He was looking around in a frantic manner, as if searching for whatever was the source of Sven’s distress. His hand caressed the reindeer’s neck back and forth in a soothing motion.

“ He said to meet him here but he’s _not_ here,” the Northuldra woman followed. “What if this is a trick? What if he wanted us all here so that he could conquer Arendelle?”

Elsa and Anna looked at each other in alarm. “Do you think that’s true?” Anna asked to her sister.

Honeymaren’s idea sounded coherent enough, but Elsa knew better. She shook her head and swallowed thickly. “No,” she whispered. “He seemed really intent on defeating us. Perhaps, he wants to rule Arendelle again, but not before beating us. Believe me when I say that he’s here, _somewhere._ I just—I can feel it, and the other spirits feel it as well.”

Her brows were furrowed in frustration as she looked around. They were crossing a pass, now headed towards the woods that was in front of them. From afar, it looked ominous.  The peak of the mountains that surrounded them from each side were covered in black snow, and Elsa wondered if it were because of the evil spirit’s magic or if it were _really_ like that.

Time seemed to slow down as they entered the forest. The trees were tall, and Anna might  have be en imagining it, but it seemed as if the branches at the top were bending inwards, and closing in on them. Anna felt watched, constantly observed, and her heart was in her throat. Once they were deep in the forest, and they could barely see the clouded sky, a faint, weak fog descended upon them.

But the more they went further, the more it  became thick er. And thicker. And _thicker_ .

Until Elsa raised a fist and ordered everyone to stop their horses and reindeer.

Their breath was audible and she looked around with attentive cerulean eyes.

Behind them, the gaze of a Northuldra woman focused on the side of the path, near the bush es . She narrowed her eyes, because through the fog, she thought she might have seen the leaves moving. She heard Elsa give the command to stay where they were, because something was _near._ The Northuldra woman, however, took a step to the side, her feet barely moving forward, and squeezed her brown eyes harder. 

And there, between trees, _shadows_ were lunging for them, the tip of their spears pointed forward with the intention to _kill_. In the silence, the Northuldra woman’s breath caught in her throat but she managed to scream—

_“_ _THE BUSHES!”_

Elsa heard the cries of distress from the horses before she spotted, with horror, pitch black figures running towards them. What soon followed was  complete chaos: the clashing of swords, soldiers yelling and inhuman groans.  Elsa dismounted the Nøkk and nudged him forward, giving him the freedom of doing whatever he pleased. 

For one second, her gaze met Anna’s.

And then, the contact was over. Each sister went their separate ways.

Elsa focused her gaze in front of them, because those shadows were coming from _everywhere._ North or south, west or east; they were surrounded. Trapped like a bird inside a gold cage. Elsa watched Anna unsheathe her sword flawlessly, and with the most courageous look on her face, submerged herself in the battle. 

_Protect yourself the way you would protect them_ .

Yelena’s voice echoed inside her head, and as much as she would have liked to stay by Anna’s side, she knew that she had to pay attention to the perils that came for _herself_ . 

Five of those shadows attacked her, two of them with swords and the others with their sharp spears. Elsa’s hands sparkled with her powers as she shoot them with ice.

However, to her surprise — and to her _horror_ — the magic didn’t hurt them in the slightest; she had thought that her ice would have pierced them, killed them on the spot, but she discovered in the worst way possible that they weren’t simple soldiers. They were the evil spirit’s, made with the same shadow that had surrounded Runeard only seven days ago. But they weren’t as tangible. Their skin was not rosy, but it was a deadly black. Their visages were hidden with dark hoods, but beneath them there were only voids; no eyes, no mouth, no _features_. They were only monsters, created for destruction. Nothing else.

And ice didn’t kill them, it went _through_ them as if it were nothing. Their abdomens disperse d , because they were made of _shadows_ , and then went back to normal.  And Elsa, for the very first time in her life, felt _powerless_ . She felt naked, vulnerable, because if her magic couldn’t kill them, what could? 

She temporarily glanced at her hands, before widening her eyes and crouching, avoiding the spear of the shadow. _If they can’t get killed by my powers, how can their weapons kill me?,_ she couldn’t help but wonder.

Her answer came sooner than expected.

Before she could create a wall of ice to shield herself from their perfectly aimed blows, the side of one of their swords grazed her upper right arm, and Elsa _shrieked._ She fell to her knees, teeth chattering. As her eyes narrowed in stark pain, she looked at her arm and noticed the consequences that would follow one of the shadows’ blow. 

The fabric that had been covering her arm had been _burned_ , as well as the pale, bare skin beneath it. Blood trickled down her burn and she couldn’t help but gag from the terrible smell of burnt flesh. Because if she had only one minimal  injury, some of her own soldiers had died. And her eyes witnessed the death of one of them, as a shadow plunged their sword in the Northuldra man’s abdomen and then hit the side of his face with his arm. The man fell to the ground, lifeless, his skin literally _fuming_ because of the scorching damage the shadow soldier had left. 

Elsa’s mouth hung open in terror.

_No,_ she thought to herself. _This is going so wrong. They’re all going to die._

But then, she saw it; Bruni, feet and feet away from her, killing the army of shadows with the same treatment. _Burning_ them to ground and while doing so, avoiding her allies. 

Inhuman, bloody screeches filled the air, the soldiers of the evil spirit collapsed to the ground before disintegrating into million ashes.

The fire spirit created a circle around Elsa, destroying the five shadows and making them crumble into a pile of ashes. Elsa panted,  and in mere seconds, Bruni run off into different directions, leaving only a trail of purple fire behind him. 

Elsa got to her feet, covering her burnt skin with a temporary layer of frost. The sting made her sink her teeth into her bottom lip, but she held on. And then, she felt the earth beneath her boots tremble, and just in time, she saw the Earth Giants, throwing north their massive boulders. Elsa turned around, and saw the _thousands_ of shadow soldiers coming their way. She gritted her teeth, and thought of a solution. _Think Elsa, think_ . 

With determination, she ran forward, Gale whistling behind her, telling her that he was there to help her with whatever she needed. Bruni was in front of her, his fire creating a zigzag path. Just as she was about to come into contact with the shadows, she halted suddenly and hit the ground with the heel of her foot. A layer of ice coated the soil, and just as she hoped, the shadows seemed to slip and stumble, their dash slowing down. And then, with Gale’s help, Elsa let her ice travel from her body to theirs, and through the ground, in each of their figures, ice seeped into their souls made of shadows. If she couldn’t kill them from the outside, she might as well kill them from the inside.

Elsa let a tentative smile cross her features as she held her arms above her head, Gale’s breeze helping her magic course through their tangible bodies. Just as before, inhuman groans and shrieks sounded before her, and she witnessed their pain and distress as the shadow soldiers brought their hands to their heads, clutching them and howling in  agony. The sounds were so loud that they pierced her ears, but with no free hands to cover her ears, she closed her eyes shut and clenched her teeth. When she opened them again, most of them had turned into ice statues, and she heard the grumbling noises of the Earth Giant s coming from behind her. Seconds later, boulders crossed the sky and tore down branches of trees, _destroying_ each shadow turned into ice. After the overwhelming attack was over, the spirits calmed down and what remained from the new swarm of shadow soldiers was only piles and piles of ashes.

Elsa knew that it wasn’t over. That it was only the beginning. And she tried not to worry about the fact that, in order to kill that many shadows,  almost  all five of the spirits were needed. 

Elsa let her arms fall to her sides and she took several deep breaths. She coughed, for the air in the forest, between the fog and the fluctuating ashes, was clogged. Her lungs desperately needed fresh air, and surely, all the fire that Bruni had created wasn’t helping. 

When she turned, she saw that her own army was still fighting as hard as it could. Arendellian and Northuldra soldiers fought side by side, against the same enemy. Elsa couldn’t help but feel pride swell at the bottom of her stomach, for seeing her people so united, despite past mistakes and misunderstandings, was quite a sight.

The moment lasted only a few seconds,  because just when the last shadow fell, a temporary  silence settled upon all of them.  A whistle echoed from the distance, and they all looked up. The branches of the trees, all weaved together, seemed like a spider web. And with every second that passed, the whistle came closer, and closer, until it became almost deafening. Elsa walked closer to her army, and Mattias, right beside her, pointed upwards and exclaimed, “Look! They’re coming from the sky!”

Elsa narrowed her eyes and saw them: the same shadow soldiers, now with their arms spread  wide , _flying_ down towards them at lighting speed. With a strangled breath, she ordered—

_“CROUCH!”_

Everyone fell to their knees, just as Elsa held her arms up and created a dome of thick ice that closed around them. She communicated with the fire spirit through her thoughts, and just as she began to feel her arms shaking, the shadow figures hitting the top of the dome with all their strength so as to break through it, she saw from the corner of her eye Bruni; outside the protection and running upwards. As odd as it may seem, the fire spirit managed to create a path of purple fire on the outer side of the dome. When he reached the top,  Elsa witnessed the shadows fail, as they all turned into ashes and perished. With all of them dead, and no force trying to break through, Elsa melted the ice and let the dome disappear. 

And another attack had been warded off.

Mattias grabbed her forearm just as she crouched and breathed in unevenly. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she replied breathlessly. “I’ve just—never used so much of my magic before.”

Mattias nodded and offered her a hand. “You’re doing great,” he smiled as he helped her up. In the momentary calmness of the battle, Elsa looked at him. Mattias had soil and dirt all over his face, his bottom lip was bruised, and part of his armor had been burned by the touch of the shadows. But after everything that  had  happened in the last moments, he still looked brave, and fierce, and _fearless_ . She briefly wondered how many times he had faced death, but the answer was in his brown eyes; too many, _far_ too many times. And Elsa admired him. 

“ Thank you,” she nodded once. 

In that moment, as he let go of her hand, Elsa looked around for her sister. She saw her help Honeymaren get up from the ground, and before she could smile at the display of selflessness of her sister, another attack rumbled in the distance.

Somehow, this time it was _different._

As they all gathered behind her, Elsa faced forward. And she heard _his_ voice inside her head. She heard him snicker, the sound an anticipation of what the next enemy looked like.

Runeard was _coming_ . 

And even though she wasn’t that confident in her skills as a fighter — she mostly let instinct lead her through every encounter — she let a sword of ice materialize in her left hand.  And she held it tightly, the weapon foreign to her palm. But she pursed her lips and listened, with everyone else, to the sound of distant hooves.  There lingered anticipation in the air, because just as she had sensed it a few minutes prior, now everyone _felt_ Runeard’s presence. 

And he called for her.

“Elsa!”

His snickering face appeared from the darkness of the forest in front of them, and just as Elsa saw the hundreds of shadow soldiers behind him — all of them running, and screaming for their _blood_ — she bravely screamed:

_“STRIKE!”_

Like a negative and positive magnet attracted each other, the two different armies clashed together. These shadow soldiers seemed more tangible, they looked more like Runeard, and because of this, Elsa’s sword finally pierced through something concrete.  They still died the same way, and the ashes in the air clung to her braid, to her breastplate, and even to her soul. Her lungs sucked in oxygen, but it barely reached them. The only thing that kept her going, perhaps, was pure adrenaline as it coursed through her blood vessels and increased each time a pile of ashes gathered at her feet. 

In a momentary break, she tried to catch sight of Runeard. She wanted — no, _needed_ — to confront him. To kill this evil spirit with her own hands and put an end to all of this. 

But as much as she looked, she found him nowhere. She frowned, but there was no more time to stay immobile, for she noticed Kristoff struggling with two enemies.

Elsa came to his rescue and helped him fight off the shadow figures. This encounter, however, costed her a wound on her leg, but it didn’t sting as much as before. She gritted her teeth and held on, finally killing the last enemy right before he could hit Kristoff.

“Goodness, are you okay?” she asked, her breath coming in gasps. She helped him up and he seemed dazed.

“Yeah, I think,” he nodded once, picking up his steel hatchet from the dirty soil. “Thank you,”

She smiled tiredly at him, but it turned into a frown when she spotted the look of sheer horror and panic in his face. She turned around to see what he was seeing just as he uttered the words: 

“Oh no—,”

“— _Anna_!”

Her blood froze in her veins. Her sister was lying with her back on the ground, suit of armor all damaged as she tried to back away from—

“NO!”

She screamed. She run forward and — why was there so much distance between them?! — tried to think of something to stop Runeard. A painful déjà vu flashed at the forefront of her mind as time slowed down. _He’s going to kill her unless you do something!_ , her brain exclaimed. 

Runeard lifted his sword above his head, ready to plunge it in her sister’s abdomen.

Anna backed in fear, the wounds on her body bleeding slightly.

Anna whispered a plea.

Runeard smirked evilly.

_DO SOMETHING!_

Elsa screamed out of pure anger; just as her foot hit the ground — and a layer of thick ice covered the ground, spiraling upwards into the bodies of the shadows — her hands shot forward  a  blast of _sizzling_ ice. And just as every _single_ statue of ice _shattered_ , her magic hit Runeard with such force that it pushed him feet and feet away. His sword fell with a clung beside Anna’s trembling body. 

The anger, mixed with her fear, made the ice form another dome of ice, this time around Runeard’s body so that he would be locked away from the m for a temporary amount of time. 

All was calm;  all the shadow soldiers were nothing but a rain of ashes. B ut  sadly, she realized that by bringing all of these people with her, she had put them in too much risk. A risk that they couldn’t be put under any longer. 

The few Arendellian and Northuldra soldiers that were left all looked at her, but Elsa only had eyes for Anna who, struggling, was trying to get on her feet.

She couldn’t risk losing her.

_I can’t lose you again, Elsa!_ , her sister’s voice sounded in her head. But she made up her mind. No, she decided. She would need to face Runeard _alone_ .

“Mattias,” she called the General. She was still breathless from all the magic she had just released. An angry howl sounded from beneath the dome, and she knew that she didn’t have much time.

“Yes, your Majesty?”

“Bring everyone back to Arendelle. This is too unsafe for you.”

Mattias seemed to want to retort, but he nodded once. He seemed defeated. “Yes, your Majesty.”

With brisk orders, he commanded his soldiers to follow him. Elsa watched them go and retrieve their horses just as Yelena, Honeymaren and Ryder came up to her.

“What are you doing? It’s still not over!” Yelena exclaimed. She sounded confused, but not angry.

Elsa faced her with a sad smile. “Yelena, make sure everyone gets to Arendelle safely.”

“What?” she asked, bewildered.

“Please,” Elsa pleaded. She held her stare steadily. “Just—I want everyone to be safe. And this—it’s too dangerous for you here.”

Yelena seemed to go through a moment of indecision, a protest probably at the tip of her tongue. But she swallowed it and nodded once. “Is that what you really want?” she asked.

Another howl sounded from the dome. “Yes.”

And so Yelena nodded. “Okay.”

And with her, despite Honeymaren’s protests, every Northuldra followed her and did the same thing as Mattias and the Arendellian soldiers. When everyone was already far away from them —  and she could hear  only the echoes of hooves — she met Kristoff halfway. He seemed to know already what was up; perhaps he could read it in her eyes. And so he went straight to the point.

“Are you sure this is the right thing to do?”

Elsa sighed. “Yes,” she replied with a wavering voice. This might be the last time she saw him.

Kristoff stepped forward and hugged her tightly. “What do you need?”

“I need you to take Anna back to Arendelle,” she whispered. Tears already pooled at the corner of her eyes but she didn’t let them fall. “Please, _please_ take care of her. Make sure she’s safe.”

She felt Kristoff nod profusely against her shoulder.

“I’ll go take Sven and a horse for her.”

Elsa nodded; this was his subtle way of telling her that it was time to say goodbye to her sister.

When he ran to do what he had told her, Elsa faced Anna, who was still on her knees, a hand to her forehead.

She raced to her sister, and helped her stand up. “Are you okay?” Elsa asked her quietly.

Anna’s hands gripped her shoulders. She nodded faintly, and her teal eyes roamed around the area. “Where’s...where is everyone?”

Elsa swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to get the words out of her mouth. She didn’t know it would be  _so_ difficult. “Anna… ”

Realization crossed Anna’s dirty face and slowly, she began to shake her head. “No…”

Elsa tried to be strong for the both of them  and swallowed again. She held onto her sister’s hips and met her teary eyes. “Anna, you have to _go_ .”

“What? No, Elsa, I—,”

“Please,” Elsa cupped her cheeks and rested her forehead against hers. Another howl. Another reminder that they didn’t have much time left. “ _Please_ . Just...just _go_ . Anna, please. This is something—bigger than us.  It’s something that only magic can brave.”

“But—,”

“Please. You _have to_ go. Arendelle can’t lose both of its queens.”

“And I can’t lose _you_ , Elsa!”

It was too much; her pained face, the anguish in her voice, the tears rolling down her cheeks. Elsa pulled her in a tight embrace and held her as strangled sobs coursed through her body. Anna held her just as tightly, wrapping her arms around her  shoulders and staining her neck with her tears.  D esperation gripped her heart, and squeezed it, making her pour promises she  wasn’t sure she  could keep.

“I promise I will _defeat_ him. I promise I will come back to _you_ . I promise, Anna,” Elsa whispered against her skin. Anna whimpered and only held her tighter. She rubbed her back, and desperately laced her fingers through her copper hair, felt their soft texture beneath her fingertips, and breathed in her scent. Elsa smiled through her tears. No matter how bad it went, she would never stop counting her blessings for each moment Anna had brought her happiness.  And n o matter how it ended today, she was glad that she had lived the best three years of her life  alongside Anna, her sister, her love of her life. “ And you promise me that you will make sure our people get to safety, okay?”

Anna nodded furiously and shook with whimpers.

“Okay,” Elsa whispered, pulling away slightly so as to wipe her tears away. She kissed her baby sister’s forehead and comforted her in the best way a bigger sister could.

“Elsa…” Anna cried.

Elsa didn’t let her finish whatever she had to say, and hugged her one last time. She heard the crack of ice in the distance, and another howl. Realizing this might _truly_ be the last time she hugged Anna, and felt her body against hers, she held her tighter and desperately, breathing in her scent and engraving this moment inside her head. 

When she was bound to pull away, Anna resisted and only gripped her tighter.

Then, came the mumbled words filled with so much defeat and anguish that made Elsa only weep harder.

“If this is the last time I hug you, I just want to hold you a little bit more,”

Elsa nodded and closed her eyes. Everything, if even for just that tiny second, disappeared. The only thing that mattered was Anna’s heart beating in tandem with Elsa’s. “I love you,” Elsa whimpered against her shoulder. “I love you. Don’t you ever forget that,”

“I love you, too,” Anna pulled away for an instant, kissing her cheek and holding her face in the palm of her hands. Their foreheads touched. And then, Elsa pulled away, gently but firmly pushing her sister towards the horse Kristoff had brought. Kristoff was there, astride Sven, looking at them with pained eyes.

Elsa held her arms by her sides, her hands closed into fists as she tried to ignore the inhuman howls feet and feet away from them. She watched Anna mount the horse, and watched her as she turned towards her for  what could be the last time. There was grief in those sad teal eyes, an emotion so painful to witness that Elsa almost looked away. But she held her stare, offered her the most heartbreaking, tight lipped smile, and watched Anna as she prodded her horse into a gallop. 

Elsa felt hot tears cruelly roll down her cheeks.

_You’re doing the right thing_ , she told herself as Kristoff and Anna’s figures became only distant, minuscule points in the horizon. 

And then, Elsa took a deep, steadying breath,  dried her tears with her sleeves and  turned towards the dome.

“ It’s up to me and you now,” she muttered, puffing up her chest. Despite her racing heart, she swallowed the overwhelming fear that was trying to take over her mind, and firmly stood with her feet planted on the ground.  Her fists glowed with her magic and she heard the other four spirits approach her quickly. 

_Well, at least I’m not_ entirely _alone_ .

The howl that followed was the final one, as the dome finally shattered and sent tiny pieces of ice flying towards them. She crossed her arms in front of her face and protected herself from her own magic. A strong breeze blew and she leaned forward, trying not to stumble backwards because of its force. Gale whistled beside her, probably trying to overtake the wind and calm it down. 

When he succeeded, Elsa sighed in relief.

Her momentary happiness, however, didn’t last long as she saw Runeard walk towards her with the most peaceful of steps. The gray, sizzling aura that had surrounded him back at the castle one week ago was back, stronger than ever, and now it made him look even more evil, even more _invincible._

“ We meet again, my dear Elsa,” he snickered.

Elsa only gritted her teeth and didn’t dare utter a word. If she lost control of her powers through anger, she knew it would only make things worse for her.  Runeard advanced forward until he was barely six feet away from her, and Elsa had never seen him so up close, save for their last encounter at the castle. From here, she could see every  innocent  life he didn’t spare when alive.

“ Cat got your tongue? _Twice?_ ” he snorted comically, throwing back his cloak so as to show her the sheath of his sword. _Is he te_ _asi_ _ng me?_ , Elsa wondered with narrowed eyes.  When she kept being silent, Runeard scoffed, feigning irritation. “Oh, come on, now. You want to get down to business already? I just want to _talk_ , Elsa.”

“What matter is so important for me to waste my time with you?”  Elsa asked, voice dripping with venom. 

Runeard stared at her for a moment, one long enough to make Elsa’s blood run cold. “Who do you think you’re talking _to_ , Elsa?”

Elsa swallowed, holding back a confused frown. _What do you mean_ , she wanted to ask. Wasn’t she speaking with the ghost of her grandfather? 

“I assume I’m talking to my grandfather, Runeard.”

The silence shattered when Runeard let out a low, evil snicker. “You assumed wrong, then.” 

Before Elsa could ask further explanations, Runeard stepped forward,  and a strange magic possessed reality.  It was as if a memory had bled into the real world, and Elsa was suddenly surrounded by shadows of soldiers fighting against one another.  But the magic faded as  quickly as it came. 

She had been so distracted by what was happening around her that she didn’t notice Runeard’s proximity until she felt the buzz of his powers right two feet away from her face. 

“We are the same, Elsa. I am a spirit — just _like_ you,” Runeard’s eyes were black, and the more Elsa looked into his eyes, the more she fell into a void of despair. The more she held his unwavering gaze, the more she heard the past of his cruel actions echo inside the walls of her brain. “I heard that now, some prefer to call me the _Mørkets Herre._ But the Spirit of the Shadows, is what I truly am. And I was there before everyone else, but they all _despised_ me. They hated me, because I am everything they are _afraid_ of! — Shadows lurk in the light, and people like you are not particularly fond of the darkness, so they sent me away! — in exile, because they already had the other four elemental spirits,” Runeard — the _evil spirit_ , Elsa reminded herself — glanced at the subject of his rage, who surrounded Elsa and hissed protectively. “— And they were everything I wasn’t! Helpful where I was useless. Selfless where I was _selfish_. Beautiful where I was... _ugly_ ,” he spat out the word. He took a step backwards and discarded his cloak, showing his scarred, black back. 

Elsa, as alert as a deer, watched him walk in circles.

“And then—,” he whispered, suddenly turning to her. “ _You_ came. And something inside of me told me that I had to _end_ you. Because they welcomed you with _open_ arms and didn’t reject you. _I_ deserved all that! Not you! And for this—,” he pointed a finger at her, and the moment he did, ice glowed in the palm of Elsa’s trembling hands. “—I will defeat you. Defeat you, so they will have to turn to me and beg for _mercy_ . And I will, Fifth Spirit. I—will—,” he lifted his hands up in the air and a blast of shadows went right up to the sky. “— _END YOU!”_

The evil spirit aimed his powers at her, but she had predicted it, and flawlessly dodged the blow. 

And so it began.

Elsa barely caught sight of the dark clouds that had formed above their heads, lightening crossing the sky and illuminating the slight darkness that had fallen upon them. For every blast of his magic, she somehow managed to catch it with hers and turned her ice into an even more powerful weapon.  The evil spirit aimed for her heart, for her head, but all he  h it were barks of trees, and the surface of sharp rocks. 

And despite being five against one, he seemed to be almost as much as mighty as them. Elsa discovered that Bruni’s fire gave him so much pain that a shrilling shriek would echo in the woods and momentarily render her deaf. The Nøkk helped her avoid as much blows as possible, sometimes picking her up and carrying her from one part of the forest to the other.

The Spirit of the Shadows summoned armies of soldiers, but somehow, the five spirits had grown more powerful over the course of the battle, which seemed to last hours as it stayed on the same point; no one was taking the lead, but no one was weaker than the other, either. And the situation was so static for so long, that even though she was a spirit, she was also still very much human. Elsa began to grow tired, and her blows began to miss the target far too many times.

And once, inevitably, her momentary wall of ice shattered to the force of his shadows,  which broke through  and hit her in the stomach, thrusting her backwards.  She felt breathless, her eyes falling closed for a split second  as she lied with her back against the hard surface of a rock. Fortunately for her, while the Earth Giants and Bruni distracted the evil spirit, Gale and the water spirit helped her up, the mystical horse holding her weight as she leaned heavily on him.

Elsa spit blood and saw the bruises forming all over her pale skin.  She lowered her head, taking in deep breaths and trying to swallow the bile that threatened to come up her throat.

“ Is this all you can do?!” the evil spirit screamed with Runeard’s voice.

Elsa faced him with an angry scowl and stood on her own feet, her chest plate almost entirely shattered. Shreds of fabric hung from her arms and left her wounds bare.

“Why do you wear Runeard’s face?!” she screamed back.

The evil spirit was feet and feet away from her, glowing with an incandescent glow, and from this far, Elsa could still see the malice in his black eyes.

“ When I met him in Hell, he was the _only_ one who believed in me.  We made a deal, and t ogether, we will do great things! — And in addition, we share the same _hatred_ for your people,” he snickered.

Anger rose up in her chest and Elsa thrust her hands forward, shooting a blast of electric ice. With the same vigor, the evil spirit shot his own shadow magic forward, their gusts meeting halfway and bleeding into one another. Elsa leaned her body forward, putting all her strength into this as she clenched her teeth.

“You are made for each other, then!” she said loudly. “But if you think you will defeat me, then you are _wrong_ !”

Elsa’s magic was stronger, and it blasted into his chest before sending him flying backwards from the sheer force of the blow.  Elsa’s ice ceased and she looked at him as he stood up quickly, an enraged scowl marring his face. 

_“_ _LIES!”_

His shrieks echoed around her and from all of his body, shards of shadows shot forward, piercing everything that was on their way. Elsa gasped, quickly running for safety. She found a hiding spot behind a tree, and she could physically _feel_ his powers growing stronger than hers. All of a sudden, she felt weaker, helpless as his screams continued to fill the silence that accompanied each thunder. 

_Think, Elsa, think!_

Every attempt she had tried had failed, she had to admit that. But what could she do now? _How_ could she defeat him when she had touched the limits of her powers with her bare fingertips? There was nothing else she could do. If he were stronger than her, stronger than all five of them combined, then this was, inevitably, the end.

But there had to be a solution!

She couldn’t just hide behind this tree, waiting for her death. No, she was braver than this. She had to think!

“What to do, what to do,” she muttered, closing her eyes and wracking her brains.

And then, there was this moment, where her eyes stayed closed, time slowed down, and inexplicably,  Elsa felt her sister’s presence by her side. Suddenly, she could physically feel Anna’s heartbeat inside her own rib cage, a _spiritual_ connection linking their souls together as they, somehow, communicated through each beat of their slowing down hearts. 

There, between the nooks of her memories, she found one that would result to be vital. 

Fourteen words, two sentences. 

“ _Mine own sharpest strength…_ ” Elsa whispered. She slowly opened her eyes, thinking hard. What was the meaning of this? She recited the  words out loud. “ _Mine own sharpest strength shall defeat thee. With this union I setteth Arendelle free_ . _Mine own..._ what union?” she wondered aloud. She sighed. “Think, Elsa, think.”

She knew that she was running out of time. The four spirits wouldn’t last long without her if she  didn’t —

... _wait_ .

“The four spirits,” Elsa looked at her own hands, deep in thought. “ _With this union...this union — I setteth Arendelle free. Mine own sharpest…_ ”

Sharp was the  _blade_ that Anna wielded that morning. But she had no sword with her, how could she—

_...With this union I setteth Arendelle free_ .

And then, she realized.

Elsa gasped out loud, leaning away from the tree. “Of course,” she breathed. “The spirits are stronger when together. The union is—all five of us fighting together at the same time! And the sword— _we_ have to forge the sword!”

Elsa smiled weakly, and when she looked down at her hand, she saw the glow of her magic, excitedly running from one finger to the other as it awaited its fate.

From that moment on, everything became slower as she felt the end  come near er . With courage, she rounded the tree and saw her target; the Spirit of the Shadows, waiting for her with the most evil of smirks. 

Elsa called the other spirits with the force of her racing mind, and as she extended her  right  arm forward, magic coursing through her veins, the sword began to take shape. In the palm of her hand, a hilt of the most robust of wood grazed — but didn’t touch — her sizzling and glowing skin. In the distance, she heard the Nøkk neigh enthusiastically, and watched as its water wrapped around the wooden blade, finishing in the pointy tip of the sword. From behind her, as she took step after step, toward the evil spirit, she felt Gale fly by, and saw him contributing to the creation of the sword by swimming inside the floating water of the blade.  Then, Bruni, from beneath her, run up the side of her body until he reached the weapon and run his little feet over the water. It was a strange and unprecedented sight, to see fire and water kiss so deliberately and not destroy each other out, and when Elsa reached forward to take the sword in her grasp, she witness ed the  _union_ as her ice spiraled into the sword, from the hilt to the very tip, freezing the essence of each spirit into that single weapon.

The sword had the touch as scalding as _fire_ , the lightness of the _wind_ , the robustness of the _earth_ , the insidiousness of the _water_ and lastly, the fierceness and the _sharpness_ of _ice._

Through her exhaustion, she felt victory with each step she took forward. Life or death, it didn’t matter what awaited her on the other side. Elsa knew that this sword, as those two strange sentences had predicted, would defeat the Spirits of the Shadows and set Arendelle free.

“You think you can defeat me?!” the evil spirit asked with malice in each word. As a last attempt, he shot forward spikes of shadows, but Elsa destroyed each one of them with her sword. Nothing could brave the greatness of her weapon.

With the help of the other spirits, they managed to encase his body and prevent him from moving from where he was. The Spirit of  the  Shadows fell helplessly to the ground and screamed  with all of his soul, yelling blasphemies at Elsa and at her people. 

The ground shook beneath her boots and an aura of light surrounded her body as she reached his supine figure. Elsa stood over him, gripping the hilt of her sword with both hands and tilting it downwards. The evil spirit looked so _defenseless_ from up there.

“Mine own sharpest strength…” she began, slowly lifting the sword above her head. She felt the power of the weapon course through her whole body, sending her heartbeat in a frenzy,

“ _MONSTER!”_

“…shall defeat thee…”

_“HARPY!”_

“With this union…!”

“ _BEAST!”_

“ _I setteth Arendelle free!”_

When she plunged the sword right into his heart,  she _screamed_ . Elsa watched the evil spirit writhe in pain, the shrieks falling from his lips deafening her as she held onto the hilt of the sword. She pushed the blade deeper and deeper, until the only thing left to do was watch his soul leave his body. With a final push, the body beneath her disintegrated in to million pieces.  The clouds above yelled with thunders and rained with ashes, as an immense explosion, born from the blackness and cruelty of the evil spirit’s heart, followed shortly after. Its brutal force sent Elsa flying backwards. There was a loud, static and ringing noise inside her ears as she forcefully hit the ground. 

Once again, she felt breathless, her right arm burning terribly and her head aching.

There was total darkness. And then, a colorless _void_ , in which she fell down,

down,

_down_ .


	21. Chapter 20 — The Battle Of The Spirits, SIDE B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter before the epilogue! This is Anna's pov of the battle, and please make sure you've read the last update, because this won't make sense otherwise lol. It has been a wild ride, guys, and I really hope you like this ending! As a suggestion, I really recommend listening to Mountains and/or Coward by Hans Zimmer. It really set the mood for me when I wrote this chapter. 
> 
> As always, leave kudos and let me know what you think, it really means a lot to me to hear your opinions! :)
> 
> I love you guys, stay safe <3

“ _ **THE**_ _BUSHES!”_

The horses neighed and, out of instinct, Anna instantly tightened her hold around the reins. She dismounted her own horse and faced the peril; soldiers made of shadows, faceless, lunged towards them with their sharp spears and deadly shrieks. And soon, the sounds of Arendellian and Northuldra soldiers screaming, clashing swords and blades hitting steely shields filled the air of the eerie foggy forest.

For one second, her gaze met Elsa’s.

And then, as quickly as she could, Anna grabbed the hilt of her sword and unsheathed it flawlessly. With courage and determination, she set aside her own anxiety and trepidation and dove in the battle. The enemies she was fighting against were not like Oskar; where he had weaknesses, they had strength, and it almost seemed as if they had no cracks that led to their weak spots.

Countless of times, she found herself with her shield over her body, protecting herself from blows that would surely have killed her in the blink of an eye. Anna fought as hard as she could, with all she had in her, but when one enemy was down, a dozen was right behind him. And the waves of shadow soldiers coming their way, from _everywhere_ , seemed to know no limits, no end. As much as she liked to think of herself as a strong warrior, she was still very much human; and like all humans, she began to feel the first signs of exhaustion.

The shortness of breath, the prickling of her tense muscles, the beads of sweat trailing down her temples. She felt it all, and Anna groaned once she managed to kill one enemy. Baffled, she stumbled back upon the strange sight; a body made of darkness dispersing into _ashes._ She breathed heavily, her lungs straining against her rib cage, her skin trapped beneath steel.

Anna had thought that she was ready for this. Death, killing, _death_ again. But as she looked around, took a tentative glance all around her, she saw destruction, and agony, and _death_.

_We’re all going to die,_ she thought, a crestfallen look crossing her face. Anna was rooted to the spot, gauging her literal nightmares coming to life. Arendellian soldiers, impaled by scorching spears, falling all prey to their destiny — _death._ Anna had to do something. Do something that would be more _useful_ , because this couldn’t do. This wasn’t _enough_. And the more she thought about their inevitable failure, its terrible complications, she saw it happen.

Bruni, from a distance, burning each enemy to the ground.

Inhuman screams filled the forest, and Anna couldn’t help but put her hands over her ears, blocking out the horrible and loud noise. She kept her eyes open, watching the scene unfold with fascinated teal eyes. One by one, the shadow soldiers collapsed; turning into ashes right before touching the soil.

And then, the ground trembled beneath her boots, and Anna looked up just in time to see the Earth Giants throw their boulders the enemies’ way.

A flood of shadow soldiers were right in front of them, all running towards them with the desire to kill them all, and Anna watched her sister bravely lunge forward, the other four elemental spirits following behind.

Everything then, happened so fast; Elsa’s ice coating the ground, spiraling up the enemies and turning them into _statues_. The massive rocks of the earth spirit destroying each one of them. The rain of ashes that came after the attack. Anna breathed heavily, for the more they killed the shadow soldiers, the more the air became clogged and harder to inhale. She coughed several times, almost walking to her sister and making sure she was okay.

But then, Mattias pointed upwards and screamed, “Look! They’re coming from the sky!”

It was hard to see past all the fog and ashes, but Anna could make out faint figures, all diving towards them. Then, came Elsa’s order—

_“CROUCH!”_

Everyone fell to their knees, and Anna covered her head with her arms in order to protect herself. She only heard what happened; heard the enemies hit a hard surface — the ice that Elsa had created to protect all of them from the attack — and then heard their screams of agony, preceded by the sound of crackling fire.

Just when the calm had settled, and the ice dome had disappeared, Anna got to her feet and coughed again. She looked around, trying to make sure that nobody was injured, and saw Honeymaren struggling to get up.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked as she helped her up from the ground.

Anna held Honeymaren’s forearms and looked her in the eye. She had never seen her so scared. “I’m fine,” her voice shook with unrestrained terror, and Anna knew that the tremor of her hands was in part adrenaline’s doing.

“You’re being so brave,” Anna confessed quietly, offering the Northuldra girl a tentative smile. “Thank you for being here,”

“I’m glad I’m here,” Honeymaren returned the smile, placing a quivering hand on top of Anna’s, which was now on her shoulder.

Just before Anna could utter another word, a rumbling in the distance caught her attention.

This was _different_. The atmosphere felt different.

And Anna knew, as they all gathered behind Elsa, that this was _it_ . The final battle was here and despite feeling terrified, she had never felt so _alive_ than in this moment. She faced forward, the only comfort given by the familiar texture of the hilt of her sword. She felt it thrum in her hands, hungry for victory and Anna breathed in deeply, her gaze unwavering.

Then, Anna saw _him_.

Runeard’s evil, smirking face appeared from the cloud of darkness across them. And Anna took a deep, steadying breath, tilting her head to the side and tightening the hold around her sword.

Elsa screamed—

_“_ _STRIKE!”_

And strike they did. Anna yelled, her feet dragging her forwards and adrenaline pumping courage in her veins. Once she was surrounded only by enemies, her sword clung against a shield and she screamed one more time. Her blade pierced bodies that were led only by darkness, not by the beating of a heart, and she watched each shadow soldier collapse on the ground and disappear into the air through their ashes. The air became more and more clogged, but Anna didn’t even care. The only thing she was focused on was her goal, and that was victory.

Time seemed to flow as fast as a torrent, but without the light of the sun, Anna was unsure how much time had truly passed, how long this battle had lasted.

Her mind was nothing but pure adrenaline, no thoughts. Until all of a sudden, a terrible, wrenching headache pierced both of her temples, making her fall to one knee. With one hand, Anna gripped the side of her head, gritting her teeth and groaning in pain as she closed her eyes shut.

A voice echoed inside her ears.

“Pathetic.”

When she looked up, she couldn’t quite believe her eyes.

“Elsa?”

Anna felt paralyzed, roots tying her to the ground. Her mouth hung wide open, eyes filled with bewilderment as she peered up at her sister, who stood right above her, with shame and disgust staining her gaze. Before Anna could say anything further, her lips taking the shape of a question, Elsa’s hand flew across the air and slapped her hard.

So hard, that Anna fell to the side, her cheek feeling hot and prickling.

“Look at you,” her sister began. “So _weak_ . How can Arendelle flourish when it is lead by such _rotten_ flesh?”

Anna wiped her hand across her face, her fingertips touching her lower lip, and when she looked at them, she saw _blood._ She glanced at Elsa, who now fiercely wielded a sword.

“ _Answer me!”_

Elsa kicked her in the abdomen, making Anna spit blood. Her injured arm went to reach for her own sword, but she watched as her sister’s boot kicked it away, far away from her. Anna whimpered, and she groaned in pain when Elsa kicked her again, this time in the face.

“I _said_ —,” Elsa grabbed her by the forearms and forcefully made her stand up. When Anna looked into her eyes, she saw no familiar blue, no comfortable warmth and joyful love. What she saw instead, was the redness surrounding her dilated pupils, the anger, the _unfamiliarity_ of her harsh gaze, and the smell that came from her breath — Elsa smelled like burnt _bones_ . Ashes. “Answer _me_ ,” she demanded through gritted teeth.

Anna could do nothing but shake her head firmly.

Elsa groaned and threw her away, and before Anna could comprehend what was happening, her sister’s feet came in contact with her cheekbone. The second blow came, but Anna protected herself with what remained of her shield. Not all the parts of her suit of armor were intact; and most of her body was covered in bruises, and dried blood. But fresh liquid began to spill from new wounds, and Anna couldn’t help but cry out loud.

She fought back, but this was no Elsa. Anna could almost see right through the evil spirit’s facade, could _feel_ the way the Mørkets Herre tried to keep the hold that he had established over her mind in order to deceive her with her sister’s appearance . When Elsa had told her how she suffered from hallucinations, she had not imagined something like this. The evil spirit was mighty, and the more she tried to fight back, the more she tried to see his _real_ appearance, the more she felt agony and pain and _misery_.

Anna pushed her fist forward, trying to hurt him as much as he was hurting her, but Elsa — _no,_ the evil spirit — was faster than her, smarter than her even, and the next blow came for her stomach. And then on her face, on her shin, and again on her stomach.

Anna knelt on the ground, blood trickling down her chin as she coughed. She watched his feet come closer, until they were right beneath her face. Then, when he kicked her right in the nose, she stumbled backwards, hitting the hard ground with her back and blinking up at the foggy sky. Her body ached everywhere, and she felt as if there was no more fight left in her.

“Oh, you’re making this so much easier, baby girl,” the evil spirit said with Elsa’s voice. Anna kept her eyes half open, her breath shallow.

In a last attempt, she propped her weight on her elbows and backed away.

Elsa lifted her sword above her head, ready to plunge it in Anna’s abdomen.

Anna backed away in fear, the metallic taste of blood in her mouth bleeding into a one last plea.

But the evil spirit smirked evilly.

Anna closed her eyes shut, preparing for the blade in her abdomen. But nothing pierced her skin, nothing but an anger fueled scream filled the air. And the next time she opened her eyes, there was no evil spirit standing above her, threatening her with his sword above his head.

Anna gasped, her heart almost going into cardiac arrest as she realized just how close she had been to death.

Her eyes fluttered close, and she lied in the ground for an indefinite amount of time. She was tired. She was _exhausted_. Every bone in her body screamed for peace, for rest, but she could not, would not give up now. The battle had yet to be concluded. She had to get up. She had to!

Anna whimpered, struggling. Her arms weighed more than usual, and it was just so _hard_ to hold on, and so _easy_ to surrender, to succumb.

But she got to her knees, ears ringing, hand to her forehead.

Then, two powerful, strong hands helped her stand up. Her heart burst with affection once she gripped Elsa’s shoulders, her sister’s _real_ shoulders.

“Are you okay?”

And her voice was so warm, and worried, and soft. Anna looked around them, nodding faintly. But a question surged in her mind. “Where’s...where’s everyone?”

A grimace crossed her sister’s features. “Anna…”

“No…” she began to shake her head. It couldn’t be what she was thinking.

Elsa held onto her hips and met her teary eyes. “Anna, you have to _go_.”

“What? No, Elsa, I—,”

“Please,” Elsa cupped her cheeks and rested her forehead against hers. Anna swallowed the lump in her throat. Everything was still so hazy, and happening _so_ fast. She couldn’t just leave Elsa behind! They promised each other they would do this together! How could Elsa break the same promise _twice_ ? A howl sounded in the distance. Anna realized they didn’t have much time left. “Please . Just...just _go_. Anna, please. This is something—bigger than us. It’s something that only magic can brave.”

Anna was still weak from the encounter with the evil spirit, but she tried to retort. “But—,”

“Please. You have to _go_. Arendelle can’t lose both of its queens.”

“And I can’t lose _you_ , Elsa!”

Anna didn’t realize she was crying until her sister pulled her in for a strong and emotional embrace, her own chest rumbling with unrestrained sobs. Anna wrapped her arms around her shoulders and cried with her whole body, clinging to Elsa as long as she could. This could _not_ be the last time she held her. Elsa...she had _promised_!

“I promise I will _defeat_ him. I promise I will come back to _you_. I promise Anna,” Elsa whispered against her ear. She felt her sister’s fingers tangle in her copper hair and the action made her cry harder. “And you promise me that you will make sure our people get to safety, okay?”

Anna nodded furiously and whimpered.

“Okay,” Elsa pulled away and, as the bigger sister between the two, wiped away the tears from Anna’s face. Anna leaned into her touch and cried her name. Her cerulean eyes, despite the lack of sunlight, had never looked more beautiful than in this moment. So deep, so blue, and so full of hope. But they were also pained, and anguished, and Anna wished she could just take her pain away, if only for a moment. And so, Anna embraced her once again, and even though she tried to remind herself that this was not the last time they would hug, Anna held her tighter when Elsa tried to pull away.

Anna listened to their hearts beating one against another, and closed her eyes.

“I love you,” Elsa whispered against her shoulder. “I love you. Don’t you ever forget that,”

“I love you, too,” Anna whimpered back. She kissed her cheek, relished in the feeling of her soft skin beneath her trembling lips, and touched foreheads with her sister for what might have been the last time.

Elsa pulled away shortly after, gently but firmly pushing her towards Kristoff, who Anna realized had been behind them for an indefinite amount of time. Anna sniffled, silent tears rolling down her cheeks as she mounted the horse. Once astride the animal, she looked back at her sister. There was sadness and defeat in Elsa’s blue eyes, and once her lips parted into a tearful smile, Anna prodded her horse into a gallop.

Anna cried, and cried, with the cold air drying her tears and turning them into frozen sadness. Even as far away as they were now, she still heard the ice the evil spirit was trapped in shatter, and Anna closed her eyes, gripping the reins of her horse and trying not to think about what was about to happen to her beloved sister. Instead, she focused on the task that Elsa had silently and subtly passed over to her; save Arendelle.

She didn’t know how long it took them, but once she and Kristoff were back at the Turf House, the only thing she could see was complete chaos. Anna dismounted the horse, leaving it behind in order to give aide to an old lady. She helped her get in a carriage, and did the same with a couple of young kids. All they had in common was the sheer fear plastered over their features. Children were screaming, weeping, and then there were soldiers, who couldn’t help others get in the carriages because they themselves _needed_ help.

Anna walked among the chaotic crowd, trying not to think about her sister and the rippling desire to go back to her and, somehow, help her defeat the evil spirit. But what could _she_ do, anyway? She was just a common woman, who had worked hard for an entire year just to become the warrior she had admired in the pictures she used to vent to.

“Anna! Oh my goodness!”

Suddenly, Anna was in her cousin’s arms.

“You found her!” she heard Eugene’s worried voice behind Rapunzel.

“Look at you! You need medical help. Let’s get you in one of the carriages,” Rapunzel stated with concern laced in every word.

Anna shook her head. “I’m fine,” she lied, biting back a grimace. Her wounds burned and hurt, but they could wait. This couldn’t.

“Where’s Elsa?” Rapunzel finally asked.

Anna lowered her head and gritted her teeth.

“She decided to stay back and face the evil spirit,” Kristoff replied for her. His hand protectively slid to her shoulder. A sigh, then, “Alone.”

At those words, a loud and inhuman howl sounded behind them, and when they looked up at the sky, they couldn’t believe their eyes.

“What is that?” Eugene asked, bewildered.

A huge storm had formed above the forest — and by the looks of it, it could be nothing but related to the Mørkets Herre. Red lightening, clouds the same color of the darkness, and wind so sharp that it made the crowd cry out in unrestrained fear.

_Elsa is there, all alone,_ Anna thought bitterly. _How can I just...abandon her like this?_

“We need to hurry up. This doesn’t look good,” Rapunzel said with urgency.

Eugene and Rapunzel started to help other villagers before getting inside of the carriages themselves. Anna, on the other hand, was rooted to the spot, a part of herself battling with the other. Her gaze was still locked on the storm.

Kristoff began to walk away from the Turf House, towards the others, who were almost ready to go back to Arendelle. But when he glanced back and saw Anna, immobile, he stopped and called out her name.

“Anna?” when Anna said nothing, he tried again. “Anna, what are you doing? We need to _go_ ,”

_Go back to Elsa._

_Go back to Arendelle._

Anna shut her eyes and bit her bottom lip.

“Anna?”

_I can’t leave her behind._

Anna breathed in deeply and turned towards Kristoff. “I’m _sorry_ , Kristoff.”

With determination, she pushed him to the side.

“Anna!”

She ignored his desperate calls, and mounted the nearest horse. Anna kicked it and prodded it into a fast and urgent gallop towards the forest. She heard Kristoff call out her name, tell her to stop and come back, but Anna gripped the reins and pulled them, urging the horse to just go _faster_. Anna glanced at the storm, which now howled above her head as she dived into the forest for a second time.

The horse neighed, run as quickly as it could, but still, it was not enough. Anna covered her face with one arm, the ashes getting into her eyes and momentarily blinding her.

“Come on, come on, come _on_ !” she exclaimed, her hands harshly pulling at the reins once again. The more she delved into the forest, the more it was harder to go forward; the wind was too strong, she could see close to nothing, and every inch of her body was _burning._

But _then_ , there was this moment, where she slowly closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. Time seemed to slow down, and, just like last week, she could feel Elsa’s presence beside her, _inside_ of her. She could feel her sister’s heart beating alongside hers, something, _everything_ — perhaps a gold invisible string — tying them together, the knot that intertwined their souls getting tighter each step her horse took forward. Anna breathed in again, the noises around her clearer, from the whistle of the wind, to the hooves of the horse grinding and hitting the hard soil beneath.

There, in that single moment of connection with Elsa, she found her solace and her bravery, her resolution and her resilience.

And then, not even a few minutes later, when the energy around her was almost palpable and the glow across her started getting bigger and bigger, the unexpected happened.

A powerful explosion, tearing apart whatever was on its path.

And Anna, eyes wide, could do nothing but let it defeat her.

The horse neighed, Anna flied backwards and hit the ground. And then nothing. Complete silence.

And darkness.

...a gust of wind…

... _the sky’s awake, so I’m awake!…_

... _do you want to build a snowman?…_

... _Elsa’s hands were soft between hers. She was smiling, but why?…_

...fire crackling, a whistle in the distance. Is that…?

_...“Oh Anna, there’s chocolate in your face,” Elsa is laughing. She’s so beautiful…_

...a horse is neighing. Could it be…?

... _Elsa is touching her face. Her lips are moving. What is she saying?…_

...she breathes, but it is not enough. Yet…

...“ _Anna?” Elsa is so close. Why can’t she reach her?_

...breathe, just breathe…

...“ _Anna,” Elsa’s voice is so warm. She wants to kiss her but Elsa is speaking. She is…_

“ _Wake up.”_

Anna opened her eyes slowly, Elsa’s face gradually vanishing from the forefront of her mind. She regained consciousness, and the first thing she felt was a sticky, warm _tongue,_ gliding up the side of her cheek. She blinked quickly, now aware of her surroundings.

“...Bruni?”

Her voice was a hoarse whisper, but still, a chuckle escaped her. If the fire spirit was here with her, that could only mean that Elsa was near, right?

Anna’s weak arms pushed up her weight until she was sitting on her knees. Her ears were still ringing, and she was sure that her body was running out of adrenaline, because her bones were screaming in agony.

Anna groaned in pain and caught sight of Bruni looking up at her from the snowy ground.

Wait...—

“ _Snow_ ?” Anna wondered aloud, looking around herself. Yes, it was, indeed, _snowing_. Anna’s brain was too exhausted to ponder over what it could mean for her sister. But, one thing she was sure about, was the strange sense of serenity that permeated the forest. The sun, although it was low and almost setting, was peeking shyly through the white clouds. The air was fresh, and there were no more ashes. Only snow.

Anna finally stood on her feet, but she quickly relied on a tree, which supported her tired limbs. She was sore all over and she struggled to walk. Still, she put one foot after the other, slowly but determinedly walking forward.

“E—Elsa!” she called out. Only silence answered her.

Bruni, beside her feet, made a light noise in order to attract her attention, before padding forward. _He’s guiding me_ , Anna realized with wonder. He was leading her to where Elsa was! Surely he would know that bit of information.

Anna tentatively smiled and followed the fire spirit. Her hopes were high, and she was too tired to remind herself to not delude herself. The thought of her sister being dead was fleeting and so slim that she ignored it.

“Elsa!” she called out either way. Maybe they could meet halfway.

Anna walked and walked, the air cold against her bare and bruised skin. Still, she held on. For her sister needed her, and no matter how pain this would bring her, she would look for her until she found her.

And indeed, when she _did_ find her, a scream left her mouth.

“ _Elsa!”_

Her sister was lying on the ground, as still as a statue, with her back facing Anna.

She ignored the pain in her feet, in her ankles and in her thighs, and detached herself from the trees, limping forward until she fell to her knees and was obliged to crawl the remaining distance. Anna whimpered with every step she took forward, and when her hand came into contact with Elsa’s cold shoulder, she groaned and pulled her body into hers.

“Oh no, _please_ , please!”

Anna sat with her legs outstretched and took Elsa in her arms. Her sister was unresponsive, her head lolling from side to side. Her cheeks were pale, her lips slightly parted and chapped. Anna wrapped an arm around her shoulder and gently shook her. She was breathing heavily, and when she looked down, she saw the blood all over Elsa’s body; from her abdomen, to her legs and arms.

“Please be _alive_ . Please, I’m _begging_ you,” Anna whimpered. She pressed her open palm against the largest of her wounds, but in vain. The blood had ceased to flow. “Elsa, wake up, _please_.”

From the corner of her eye, she saw Bruni watch over them with worried eyes; the Nøkk, his head lowered; the wind spirit, whistling with something akin to grief.

Anna didn’t know she was crying until she saw her big tears plop down on Elsa’s bloodstained face. Her braid, even though it had just gone through a battle, was still in its place.

“Wake up,” Anna whispered, plating a kiss against her forehead before placing her own against it. She lifted her right hand and caressed Elsa’s cheek, weeping silently and wishing, _praying_ Elsa would come back to her. “Don’t leave me, please. I can’t — can’t _live_ without you! You need to be alive, _please_ . Come back, come back to me, _please_!”

Anna shook her once again, but no matter what she did, Elsa lied unresponsive, nestled perfectly between her quivering arms. When the realization struck her — Elsa had died _again_ — Anna could not stop the overwhelming flow of sobs that wrecked her whole body. She hugged Elsa’s cold body and buried her nose in the crook of her neck, feeling no pulse beneath her lips as she kissed her ice cold skin.

“Come back... _please_...come back,”

_...“Don’t leave me,”…_

_...“Be alive,”…_

“ _Please.”_

_When Elsa opened her eyes, she saw nothing but a vast, flat surface across her._ Where am I? _, she wondered. She looked down at herself, and she noticed she was wearing a simple, white sleeveless dress that merely reached her knees._ _She looked around herself, and there was nothing but the horizon keeping her company. The light illuminating this...place, came from an unknown and invisible spot, and Elsa took a tentative spot forward._

_“Hello?” she called out._

_Elsa felt strange, weirdly calm. Wasn’t she fighting the evil spirit just a few moments ago?_

_“Hi, Elsa.”_

_Elsa audibly yelped, swiftly turning around, startled. However, now she gasped for an entirely different reason._

_“Mama?”_

_There she was; Iduna, standing with a warm smile only a mother could wear. Her purple dress reminded Elsa of Arendelle and of the childhood before the accident._

_“Papa?”_

_Agnarr appeared from behind her mother. With tranquility, he placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled tenderly at his daughter. “Hello, Elsa. It is so good to see you again.”_

_Elsa, despite the surprise, was both confused and relieved to see them here. But...what_ was _here?_

_“Where am I?” she questioned, turning her whole body towards her parents._

_Iduna glanced at her husband. “This is your choice, Elsa.”_

_Elsa blinked in confusion. “My...choice?”_

_Out of nowhere, a voice was heard._

_“Elsa, wake up, please!”_

_“Is that..._ —,”

_“_ _Yes. That’s your sister.”_

_Elsa listened to Anna’s pained voice. She was begging her to come back. “Why am I hearing all of this? Why am I here?”_

_“This is your choice, Elsa,” Agnarr repeated._

_“But..._ — _what does that mean?”_

_Iduna gave her a sympathetic smile. Neither of the two replied. Elsa furrowed her brow, and kept listening to Anna’s pleas._

_Come back, come back…_

_Wake up, wake up…_

_Could she be…?_

_“Am I dead?” Elsa suddenly asked._

_Agnarr smiled sadly. “Yes,” she replied. “But, my dear. This_ is _your choice.”_

_“My choice…” Elsa echoed pensively. And then, she finally realized. Her choice. She could choose between...going back to Anna, or staying here with her parents. Her choice…_

_“You don’t have much time left, my little Snow,”_ _Iduna said, voice soft but filled with an underlying urgency._

_Elsa looked up at her mother and at her father. They had not changed much from the last time she had seen them. But how could they, when they were dead?_

_“Mama, Papa...I missed you,” she whispered._

_“We missed you, too, dear,” Agnarr smiled._

_A pause. Then, “Anna needs me. I..._ — _I don’t want her to miss me like I miss you.”_

_“We know,” Iduna held onto her husband’s hand. “Remember, this is your choice, Elsa.”_

_Elsa looked at them. “My choice…” she repeated. Her gaze shifted forward, into the endless, flat surface beyond her. “My choice…” she whispered. Elsa tilted her head back and looked up above. Slowly, she closed her eyes, and breathed in._

_“Anna…”_

…“ _Anna,”…_

…“ _...hear me? Elsa?”…_

“Elsa!”

Elsa coughed and groaned. The arms around her were warm. The breath against her face was warm, too. And when she opened her eyes, there was no colorless surface. Only familiar teal, and a smile that was brighter than the sun.

“Elsa?” Anna’s voice trembled as she gingerly touched her face with one hand while she supported her back with the other.

“Hey there, sunflower,” Elsa whispered meekly.

Anna turned her lips into a tight lipped smile as more tears spilled from her eyes. “Elsa! Oh my goodness!”

Elsa chuckled weakly as the next moment saw herself being embraced by her sister’s strong arms. She tried to hug back, but she was too exhausted. Still, she had never felt so _alive_ than in this moment.

“You’re alive! You came back to me!”

When they pulled away, Elsa cupped Anna’s cheek and lazily smiled up at her. “Of course,” she said softly, brushing her nose against Anna’s. “I always will,”

Anna tearfully laughed before hugging her once more. “Oh, Elsa,” she cried into her shoulder. “I thought I lost you,”

“Last night — I promised you, remember?” Elsa smiled against her sister’s neck. “I am not going anywhere, love.”

Anna wept even more at those words and pulled away so that she could look Elsa in the eye. Their foreheads touched and Elsa stole a peck in the lips. “You did it?” Anna whispered.

“I did,” Elsa laughed softly. “I defeated him.”

Anna let out a sound that was between sheer happiness and relief. She caressed her sister’s cheek and closed her eyes for a moment. “How?”

Elsa smiled.

“I will tell you all about it on the way home.”


	22. Epilogue

_**THREE** _ _months_ _later_

_December 21_ _st_

_1847_

“That centerpiece needs to be perfect, not—wait! _Please_ , don’t let those decorations fall, they’re extremely _delicate_ and—oh, Kai! Thank _goodness_ you’re here,”

“Your Majesty,”

Anna was happy to see the trustworthy butler. He, on the other hand, seemed to have some trouble holding back an impending and deep frown. “Please give me good news,” Anna said in one, exasperated breath.

“I’m afraid not, ma’am,” Kai ducked his head and didn’t meet her eyes. “The musicians will not make the party. They sent a letter this morning, said that they had some problems with their ship.”

“ _What?!”_ Anna whispered, terribly upset. No musicians meant no music . And no music meant no party. Or, a _boring_ party, which was even worse. “Oh, no,” she tangled her hands in her copper hair, which was held in an elegant bun. “Kai, what do I do now? This has completely ruined my plans!”

“I thought of an alternative solution, your Majesty,” Kai said.

“Oh, please. Go on, tell me.”

“There are some great musicians in our village. Of course, everyone is invited to the party, but we could ask those who are able, if they’d like to play?”

Anna stared at him blankly before slowly nodding. “That’s a good idea, Kai,” she pondered over other solutions — which were _nonexistent_ — and nodded once. “Yes, you do that for me, please. Tell them that they’ll be rewarded for their work, and that I’m deeply grateful for them if they agree.”

“Yes, of course.”

Kai was quickly dismissed and Anna turned back to the large ballroom. The castle staff was working hard to please the queen, who was terribly restless and anxious for the surprise birthday party. It was Olaf’s idea, and Anna had quickly supported him. And although the time had been so little, as she looked over every single decoration that was in the ballroom, she was immensely proud of the outcome.

The Mørkets Herre was finally gone. Elsa had told her, while they had gone back from the Black Mountains, that she had discovered the true meaning to those two sentences they had found months prior. Anna had been flabbergasted, teal eyes wide the entire time Elsa was recounting the one-on-one she had had with the evil spirit during the battle. The sword had been destroyed — Elsa had hypothesized that it had been the cause of the explosion, the details, she had said, were still a little bit hazy — and with it, the evil spirit. The older woman had also revealed the truth about his true identity, and a flair of anger had quietly burned in Anna’s stomach. But the worst part was over, now. Her sister was alive, and so was she. They were together at last and that was what truly mattered to the young queen.

And so, Anna, with the help of the castle staff and her friends, had organized a surprise birthday party for her sister and kept it a secret. Everyone knew but Elsa, of course. With the help of the Northuldra, Anna had asked Honeymaren and Yelena to go on a walk with Elsa, “keep her occupied,”, Anna had justified. All they had to do was keep her company and keep her far away from the castle, until they would have to bring her back.

On one hand, Anna was electrified for tonight. She loved surprises. They brought limitless joy and she knew that, despite not being particularly fond of being at the center of everyone’s attention, Elsa would love tonight. She knew that today would mark the start of a new era for their Kingdom, because darkness was in the past and the only thing that prevailed now was light. It was dim at first, but now it shone brighter than anything.

Anna couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she anxiously — but excitedly — watched everything settle into place. There were butterflies in her stomach, and in order to release some happiness from her tingling body she squealed quietly, imagining everything that would happen tonight in this exact ballroom.

Nothing could go wrong.

* * *

Except, things were _about to_ go all wrong when Anna, casually walking down the hallways of the castle, spotted her _sister_ , who was the last person that needed to be here before _tonight_.

A light curse fell from her lips and Anna quickly gathered her skirts and skipped down the corridor. Elsa seemed to hear her footsteps, because as soon as Anna was close to her, she turned around with the biggest, goofiest smile on her face.

“Hey, Elsa!” her voice was too high pitched and she just _prayed_ that she didn’t sound too suspicious.

A hint of confusion crossed Elsa’s face, but apart from an amused twitch of her upper lip, she said nothing about Anna’s frantic voice. “Hey,” she replied softly. “I was looking for you,”

And then, suddenly, Anna was being dragged into the nearest broom closet, her back softly hitting the locked door. Elsa’s lips soon found hers and Anna gasped at the warm contact. Her eyes widened and as much as would have loved to do this all day, she had _things_ to do.

Elsa mewled in disappointment as Anna awkwardly broke off the kiss.

“What are you doing?” she stammered, trying to sound as normal as possible. At least, if Elsa was here with her, that meant that she would never find out about the ballroom and the surprise party.

“I was...trying to make out with you?” Elsa blushed at Anna’s hesitancy.

“Right now?”

Goodness, Anna _really_ needed to get a grip. Her voice was too high and it was a matter of seconds before Elsa found out about her secret!

“I...missed you,” Elsa shrugged nonchalantly, still adorably confused at Anna.

Anna placed her hands on her sister’s shoulders and let out an embarrassed chuckle. Her lack of a verbal response made Elsa think that it was okay to continue right where they had left off, and so, she leaned in once again and kissed her.

The sound of their lips colliding filled the silence of the dimly lit closet and Anna could do nothing but close her eyes, grip the back of Elsa’s neck and enjoy the ride. Elsa’s body was flush against hers, her hands holding tightly onto Anna’s hips as their tongues met.

Despite the familiar, burning sensation of arousal at the bottom of her belly, Anna’s mind was reeling. What if something went wrong in her absence? She couldn’t let it happen. Everything _needed_ to be perfect for tonight!

As Elsa moaned softly in her mouth, Anna lightly pushed at her shoulders.

This time, Elsa looked at her with a mixture of hurt, disappointment and confusion.

“Are you okay?” Elsa asked. “You’re acting weird,” a pause. “Did I do something? Have I upset you?”

Just as Elsa was about to pull away from their tight embrace, Anna wrapped her arms around Elsa’s shoulders and locked her in. “What?—no! _No_ , darling, you’ve done nothing wrong,” she replied hurriedly.

“Then...why are you rejecting me?” Elsa’s voice was small and filled with insecurity.

_Damn it,_ Anna grimaced. “I’m not rejecting you, Elsa. It’s just…”

_I’m organizing a birthday party for you and kissing you is distracting me, and I should probably go check that they don’t ruin anything because you deserve the best_ , she wanted to say.

“I’m sorry if I did something wrong, but—,”

Anna cut her off with a rough kiss. Her lips almost landed on Elsa’s chin, but the older woman quickly and gently cupped her cheeks and mended her mistake. When they broke apart, Anna nuzzled her nose and smiled. “Everything’s okay, Elsa. You’re perfect. _I_ am sorry for acting this way.”

Elsa hummed and stole a peck from her lips. “Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent,” Anna giggled.

“Then…” Elsa’s voice turned sultry and she looked at Anna with a heated and confident gaze. The shift in the air was palpable as Elsa leaned in but not enough to let their lips touch. Her breath was cool against Anna’s mouth and she shivered. “Can I get an early _birthday_ present?”

Her hands were planted firmly against the door, on either side of Anna’s — flushed — face. Her heartbeat was in a frenzy inside her rib cage and she was aware of every part of her body that was in contact with Elsa’s. She rarely got to see this side of Elsa — the one that was sure of what she wanted, the one that was... _sexy_ and sensual in every way possible — and even though she knew that under this, Elsa’s shy demeanor was only hiding, she enjoyed every single second.

“Present?” she whispered, subtly raising an eyebrow.

“Hm,” Elsa hummed again, now staring at her lips with a hunger that she was now familiar with. Despite the carnal desire that was now palpable in the air, Anna could still see the tenderness in those cerulean eyes of hers.

“And what might that be?” Anna tried to act cool and unbothered, but her facade crumbled as soon as Elsa smirked and then knelt before her. She stifled a gasp by biting hard on her bottom lip and watched as Elsa slowly lifted her skirts above her hips.

“ _You_ ,” Elsa whispered, voice soft and gentle but still laced with yearning and want.

And then, Elsa dove in, and Anna could do nothing but lean back, grip Elsa’s shoulders, neck arched, eyes closed and lips parted, as her sister’s tongue worked its magic beneath her bloomers.

_Well then,_ she thought, _the preparations for the birthday party can do without me for a while._

* * *

“But _Kristoff_! — how are we going to fix this without letting Anna know?”

“I don’t know, Olaf, but we must! She would only freak out if she knew that _we_ broke half of the crystal decorations because Sven couldn’t stop chasing that _stupid_ butterfly!”

The burly man was followed by a distressed snowman, as they walked down the hallways. They were fairly empty — everyone was in the ballroom trying to finish the preparations for tonight. Anna was nowhere to be seen. She had told him that she needed to do some paperwork that _couldn’t_ be postponed to tomorrow. But that was hours ago. The birthday party started in less than a half hour and she was _still_ missing. And then there was also this problem, that Sven _had_ caused, but still, Kristoff felt guilty either way.

“We have to let her know!” Olaf exclaimed. Kristoff had never seen him so distressed about something. “She will find out sooner or later,”

They turned around the corner, into another empty hallway, and Kristoff turned around and faced his friend. “Olaf,” he said with a sad smile. “We can’t let her know. We’ll find a solution ourselves, and when she will arrive at the ballroom for the party, with Elsa, she won’t even notice,”

Kristoff smiled reassuringly and then resumed walking down the hallway. He wasn’t so sure of what he had just said, but Olaf seemed to feel better.

“Hm, if you say so,” Olaf said, still a little hesitant about it. “But I don’t think that—,”

_“Ah_ — _,”_

Kristoff stopped at the sudden, _peculiar_ sound. Olaf furrowed his brow and stared up at him with confusion written all over his face.

“What was that?” Olaf asked innocently.

Kristoff’s cheeks flushed a deep red, and they turned even redder when, straining his ears, he heard someone panting. _Oh no, it can’t be who I think it is._

“Olaf, why don’t you—,” Kristoff paused. Another sound filled the silent hallway. Then, he came up with a plan.

Suddenly, he turned around and faced Olaf, holding his hands up as he growled at his friend. It did the intended effect — scaring Olaf — and the poor, naive snowman screamed in fright, effectively making a lot of noise.

When silence prevailed again, Kristoff noticed that the panting — and the _moaning_ — had halted. Then, he heard shuffling, the rustling of clothes, and then a lock. When Kristoff turned around, he came face to face with a bright red face, the cheeks perfectly matching the hair color.

“Kristoff!” Anna stammered, holding onto the doorknob and trying not to fall on her bottom.

“Oh, Anna! We were just talking about you!”

Kristoff noticed that Anna’s breathing was still shallow and that her lips were redder than usual. He grimaced, right before —

“Elsa! You’re here too!”

Kristoff’s eyes bulged and he stared at the floor once he caught sight of the slightly disheveled Elsa.

“Hi, Olaf,” Elsa greeted him with half of his enthusiasm. Olaf was the only one oblivious to the situation, the only one with a big and jolly smile, while the other three all sported an awkward and embarrassed smile. It wasn’t the fact that Kristoff was unaware of their relationship — he knew, after all — but the fact that _he_ had caught them _consummating_ it.

“But — why are you here?” Olaf asked innocently.

“I, erm, found her—,”

“—hiding—,”

“—in the closet.”

Olaf tilted his head to the side in confusion. “You were hiding...in the closet?”

“Hm,” Elsa hummed impatiently.

“Weren’t you supposed to be at the Enchanted Forest with Honeymaren and Yelena?”

Elsa stammered. “I was—but then, we decided to—,”

“—play hide and seek,” Anna continued for her.

“Yes,” Elsa confirmed.

“Oh, I want to play with you too! Can I?”

“Um, actually Olaf,” Kristoff cleared his throat, his cheeks still colored with embarrassment. “We wanted to speak with Anna, remember?”

Olaf stared up at him before lighting up with realization. “Oh!—yes, we wanted to tell you we’re sorry because—,”

“ _Alone,_ ” Kristoff muttered through gritted teeth.

Everyone turned to Elsa and the latter blushed profusely at the unwanted attention. “Oh,” she ducked her head shyly and bit her bottom lip. “I should probably go, then,”

She turned to walk away, in the direction of the _ballroom_ , and Anna stopped her suddenly by grabbing her wrist. “Actually,” Anna chuckled nervously. “Will you wait for me in my room? I’ll be there as soon as possible,” her thumbs traced the skin of her inner wrist. Anna smiled softly at her sister.

Elsa nodded. “Okay,”

She cast an apologetic gaze towards Kristoff and waved at Olaf. After making sure that Elsa was as far away from them as needed, Anna turned towards her friend.

“Kristoff, oh my God, I am _so sorry_ —,”

“Never mind,” he shook his head, wanting to forget about what they had accidentally stumbled upon. “It’s nothing I’ve never heard of, after all,”

The joke didn’t land right and Anna groaned, covering her blushing face.

Kristoff sighed. “Listen—,”

“Anna! There’s a problem with the decorations!” Olaf interrupted him, dramatically flailing his little twig arms around. “Sven accidentally broke half of the crystal decorations and we don’t know what to do,”

“Sven _what_?!”

“It’s fine, Anna, we’ll find a solution!” Kristoff tried to reassure her.

“Kristoff!” Anna exclaimed dramatically, embarrassment completely forgotten. “It is _not_ fine!”

“Listen, we’ll just—remove all of them, alright? Elsa will never notice it,”

“She loves details, of course she will notice!”

Kristoff sighed again and rubbed his face with both of his hands. “It’s the only solution. The _best_ one.”

Anna stared at him with her lips pursed and arms crossed over her chest. Then, she took a deep breath, as if defeated, and muttered, “Fine. Tell the staff to remove them. But if she asks me why there aren’t—,”

“Let her come to me,” Kristoff placed a hand on her shoulder. “She will be elated, Anna. It’s the thought that matters, not stupid decorations.”

Anna sighed. “Do you really think she will like it?” she asked, a bit of vulnerability echoing in her voice.

“Yes,” Kristoff smiled. “She will love it.”

* * *

When Anna walked in the bedroom, she found Elsa sitting on her bed, back straight and hands neatly folded on her lap. She smiled as soon as she caught sight of her younger sister.

“Hey,”

Anna greeted her with a smile. “Hey,”

When they were next to each other, Elsa reached out and held her hand. “Everything okay?”

“Hm? Oh, yes, it was nothing after all,” she chuckled. She brought their intertwined hands to her lips and kissed the back of her sister’s hand. She let her mouth linger on her knuckles, before encasing Elsa’s hand in both of her own.

“I’m sorry,” Elsa apologized shortly after.

Anna quizzically raised her brows. “For what?”

A blush covered Elsa’s cheeks. “For, you know...Kristoff _heard_ us.”

“Oh,” Anna cowered, grimacing at the reminder. “It’s okay. He will get over it,”

Elsa nodded and smiled, before leaning in and kissing her cheek.

“I want to show you something,” Anna whispered, feeling her nerves on fire as the surprise loomed over them. She hoped with all her heart that Elsa would like it. “Come on,”

Hands intertwined, they walked down the silent hallways. Anna noticed Elsa’s confusion, probably wondering why there was no staff around when it was already dinnertime.

Right before entering the ballroom, Anna squeezed her sister’s hand and beamed. “You ready?”

Before Elsa could ask her for what, Anna pushed the double doors open and—

_“_ _SURPRISE!”_

Everyone cheered as Anna stepped inside the ballroom, with Elsa by her side. The birthday girl was shocked, to say the least, to see so many people gathered in one single chamber, all there for _her_. Her mouth was parted, blue eyes widened but filled with mirth and happiness. Elsa caught sight of Kristoff, Olaf, her Northuldra friends, all standing at the front. Beside them, Gerda and Kai were clapping their hands and smiling so big that it must have hurt.

Elsa felt breathless, holding on tight to Anna’s hand as if it were a lifeline. She turned towards her sister, who was grinning tenderly at her, and Elsa had to restrain herself from kissing her right there and then.

When the cheers died down, Anna spoke briefly, letting everyone know that the party could begin. As soon as her little speech was over, Elsa thanked everybody for being there, and then, music filled the ballroom, along with the sound of quiet and mindless chatter.

Soon, Elsa and Anna were surrounded by their friends, and they all hugged the birthday girl.

“So going on a walk with you was just a covering for my sister so she could set this all up?” Elsa asked, giggling in amusement.

“Yes,” Honeymaren replied proudly, sharing a smirk with Anna.

“You might be the best person in this world,” Elsa said softly, gently reaching out and holding Anna’s hand. Anna blushed at the display of affection and squeezed her hand back.

“I might be? I _am_ the best person in this world,” Anna joked, making everyone laugh.

The evening turned into night. They all danced together, for so long that, when the music slowed down and the party died down, their feet hurt but their hearts sung happily inside their rib cages. Elsa had never felt so comfortable, so _alive_ , in ages. The ballroom, until the last guest bid them goodnight, and even after that, was filled with joy and peacefulness that it almost seemed unreal to Elsa.

She pinched herself, her breath still a little bit shallow from all the dancing.

“Making sure all of this is real?” Anna teased, coming to stand beside her. She casually threw an arm around her shoulder and gazed at her with a loving smile.

“I’m just...so _happy_ ,” Elsa whispered. Anna placed her head on her shoulder and Elsa rested her chin on the crown, sighing in bliss. “Thank you,”

Anna didn’t respond with words. She subtly kissed Elsa’s cheek and nuzzled her nose against her bare skin. “Let’s get you to bed, birthday girl,”

Once entangled with each other, they fell into a deep slumber. And before they knew it, sunrise knocked at the gates of Arendelle with a promise of a new day.

Anna woke up before Elsa did, and slowly, she got up from the bed and padded slowly towards the window. She slightly moved the curtains and looked outside, at the start of a new, promising beginning. Anna had never felt so lucky.

When she heard the rustling of sheets behind her, she turned to face her sister, who was just waking up. Anna giggled, unable to contain all the joy inside of her body. Their eyes met; a smile of love turned the corners of their lips upwards.

And up from the sky, the sun gleefully smiled upon them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm really sorry this was so late, but personal life got in the way so it was a bit difficult to write this. But, I'm happy with how it turned out, and I hope you are too!
> 
> I can't believe we have reached the end of this story, which was an incredible journey for me because I met incredible people and interacted with all of you. I want to thank all of you for the immense support you have shown both to this story and to me, through your comments and your kudos. That meant a lot to me, guys, and I love you so much. 
> 
> Feel free to tell me your opinion, if you are happy with this ending, what your favorite part of this story was, what you liked best etc...
> 
> With that said, I don't think that a simple thank you will convey to you all my gratitude, but I hope it will do. 
> 
> For those of you who are also following my other story 21st Century Woman, an update is slowly on its way, and I can't wait to show you what I have thought out for that fic!
> 
> Stay safe guys, I love you :D


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